I just wanted to say thank you for all the support you guys ;~; <3
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【 P R E S E N T L Y 】
You dragged yourself back in the direction of the inn, each step heavier than the last. This was all because of a certain tunic-wearing, pumpkin-tossing, Hyrule-saving, fate-binding Link. Ha.
Fate-binding Link. Good one, [Y/N].
You couldn't help but praise yourself for your weak attempt at a joke. As pathetic as it really was, it somehow made you feel just slightly better. You inhaled deeply, straightened your back, and plastered a smile across your face.
As much as you wanted to crawl into a little dark hole and bawl your eyes out, you knew that would make things harder for you. You had to keep your chin up and show the entire world that nothing could ever bring you down.
You lightly patted both your cheeks, hoping it'll help you appear more lively than you actually were. After taking a deep breath, you pushed open the doors and walked in. The lobby was still rather boisterous; your guild-mates were still drinking, dancing, and laughing in all their drunken glory. Thankfully no one seemed to take notice of your return.
You quickly ducked your head and moved into the crowd, deciding it was probably better than trying to go around. This way, at least, there'd (hopefully) be less of a chance that either Link or Shad would spot you. You were jostled back and forth within the sea of people as you slowly made your way through. Determined to get through as fast as possible, you held your ground and bulldozed through. Whenever someone pushed you, whether by accident or not, you shoved them back twice as hard. An annoyed look appeared across your face when someone almost spilled their drink all over you. Thankfully with your fast reflexes, you managed to sidestep them at the last minute, causing them to crash unceremoniously to the ground.
Ah, oops?
"Man down! Man down!" Someone to your right cried out with a laugh, drawing a bunch of attention.
Part of you was concerned about the toppled man's well-being, while the other half thought of this as the distraction you needed. You quickly turned around, slipped out of the crowd, and ran up the stairs.
You couldn't help but grin victoriously at your small feat. Sneaking around the way you did was oddly thrilling. It reminded you briefly of that time in Gerudo Desert, when you and Link snuck into the Bokoblin camp. You weren't the best when it came to confrontation or fighting, but you aced the art of sneaking around.
Your good fortune, however, didn't last as long as you had liked. Just as you turned the corner, you found yourself face-to-face with none other than the source of your heartache. Link looked just as surprised to see you as you did him. Instead of wearing his iconic green tunic, he was dressed in a cotton shirt and a pair of dark slacks. His weapons and his protective gear were absent, suggesting he had retired from the party downstairs.
"I was just about to go look for you," Link explained softly and carefully. It was almost like he was afraid that you'd disappear if he spoke too loudly. "I was worried."
You quickly scurried back, creating some distance between you two. Link immediately frowned, getting the hint. He bit down on his lower lip, just absolutely despising what's become of you two. He missed the closeness you two shared. Fighting together, laughing together, crying together... He missed it all. You were the one person Link could fully trust with his heart and soul. You were... Dare he say it? His soulmate. And not because the Gods decided it, but because that's what Link believed in. Now, however, it was almost like being around a total stranger.
Your lower lip began to quiver upon noticing the look of absolute hurt etched across his face. It hurt you to see him hurt. It hurt that you were the one that was hurting him. Subconsciously, your dominant hand rose to clutch at the fabric above your heart, the action going noticed by Link.
Just what kind of messed up, twisted, and cruel feeling was this?!
You were the one who's heart was constantly broken! You were the one cursed with the memories of every life. You were the one who always got hurt in the end. So why did you feel so guilty?
You kept telling yourself those feelings weren't your own. They were programmed into you by the Gods. What you were feeling was what the Gods wanted you to feel in their place.
"I know I'm probably the last person you want to see right now..." Link began, "but I was worried about you."
You risked a quick look in his direction before looking away again. "I... I'm fine." You replied quietly. "I just needed some air, that's all." Just what are you doing to me?
Link's lips tightened into a fine line. He could tell that was only half the truth. He had seen how you looked at Shad, how your face lit up around him, and how your radiant your smile would become when Shad spoke to you. The signs were so obvious yet so cruel that the hero didn't want to admit it. You were falling for him—a man who wasn't supposed to be part of the Gods' grand plan.
"It's late," you spoke up, snapping Link from his thoughts. Keeping your eyes averted, you quietly continued, "I'm tired. Excuse me."
Without waiting for a reply, you pushed past Link and hurried into your room. Just as Link turned around in an attempt to stop you, you slammed the door shut. Link bit down harshly on his lower lip in an attempt to prevent himself from screaming in frustration. He squeezed his eyes shut and leaned back against the wall, hands flying into his hair.
The pain was unreal. It was nothing like Link's ever experienced in all his twenty years. This was more painful than getting cut in battle. It was more devastating than losing Ilia, and ten-times, no, a thousand-times more depressing upon realizing that she had forgotten about him. It felt like his heart was literally being torn apart, pulled from his chest, then crushed to dust by the hands of fate.
Is this how you felt? Again and again through the cycle of reincarnation?
Why did the Gods have to be so cruel? Link wondered. Your father had told him you were specifically created for Link's sake, all because the Gods loved the Hero's Spirit so much. If the Gods were so righteous, why would they condemn your soul like this? If the Gods were the origin of everything good, how could they possibly be able to commit such a horrible act?
It was then a thought dawned upon the hero, accompanied by a rage so terrifying that it caused him to shake. Never once, despite all the horrors he's lived through, had Link cursed at the divine. But at this moment, right here and right now, he was more than ready to throw everything away to spite the Gods.
Everything was so clear now. Everything made sense now.
Link once believed that you were the only victim in all this: fated to love him eternally, your freedom of choice stolen. But now he realized that you were no more than a victim than he was. Link didn't remember anything from the past. He had been given this freedom of choice, therefore unwillingly becoming your ultimate source of pain. The reality of it, however, was that both of you were implicated in this twisted cycle. That could only mean one thing: you were both being punished.
Just what kind of sin had he committed to receive such a cruel sentence?
Unable to control his anger, Link suddenly rammed the side of his fist into the wall. The structure shook slightly from the sheer amount of force. Link retracted his arm from the small dent he had created. His face was set into a blank expression as he examined his hand. His action was without consequence. The area where his bare hand made contact with the wall was already brightly red. Besides a slight stinging sensation, Link was completely numb to the otherwise sharp pain.
A bit calmer now, Link hung his head and quietly muttered, "this isn't fair..." His messy, golden locks fell into his face, obscuring his teary eyes. Then slowly, a small and self-deprecating smile appeared across his face. "I guess you and I must've done something horrible to upset the Gods... Huh? [Y/N]?"
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Your legs were shaking as you slowly made your way over toward the bed. As soon as your feet hit the edge, you collapsed right into the mattress. With your limbs spread out and face pressed into the pillow, you stayed like that for who knows how long.
For once, you weren't thinking of anything, not the past, present, or future. Your mind was completely blank, void of all thoughts. Yet, for some reason, your eyes began to sting. A tear slid down your face, accompanied by another, then another... Until you were full-blown crying. You reached out for a pillow and buried your face into it, hoping it would help drown out the sound of your sobs.
You cried for everything that happened in the past: from the first time you opened your eyes to the world and for every time you had your heart broken.
You cried for the present: even though you've already committed yourself to break free of Link, you still loved him. Deeply. Desperately.
And you cried for the future: for the uncertainty of what's to come.
Come tomorrow, and the tears would be gone. You'll show the world a smile. You'll try your best to hide everything that's been haunting you for centuries. For now, it was okay to take off that mask and just... Cry.