"Harry, wait." I heard Taylor's voice and I wish I didn't. She might convince me and I don't want that. She had already made me do things I never thought I'd do.
"I'll see you around, Taylor." I said in a light tone, hiding the fact that I am currently not in the mood for a discussion, much more an argument as my head was pounding.
"Harry, just a second." She said and then suddenly, she's right walking beside me. Surprisingly, I haven't even heard her footsteps coming closer. She must have been really light on her feet.
I looked at her, "Are you going to convince me?"
She stopped in her tracks and I did too. That was the kind of control she has over me.
"I uh, I--"
"What?" I asked raising an eyebrow. Never once had I been impatient of her reluctance in saying something. . . until now.
"I don't want to force you." She trailed on, "But, Mr. Delfin and I had an agreement, if you go, I'll go and if you don't. . ."
"You know I don't agree to that kind of stuff." I said. "I'm sorry, Taylor, I can't go into another competition. And I should be heading back to the dorm. My head really aches right now."
For a second, I was alarmed that she might explode or simply be stubborn about what she wants but she nodded and smiled a fake smile, "It's okay. I'll just tell Mr. Delfin about it. Um, get well, okay?"
I smiled a bit, "Yeah, thanks." I said and then started walking off.
"Harry." She called again so I turned around. Taylor was biting her lower lip, looking so reluctant about what she has to say
"Hmm?"
She blinked a few times, "N-Nothing."
It didn't look like it was nothing. "It's alright, you can tell me anything, love." I said.
Again, her eyes looked like she was hesitating. Her face was in conflict of two things that I barely got any idea about. . . unless she tells me now.
"Whatever you need to say, say it now." I said, quoting a song from We The Kings. . . Say It Now.
"I'm sorry."
"F-For what?" I asked, my head suddenly started pounding again so as much as I want to keep talking to her, I just want to head home. "Taylor, whatever it is, I forgive you for it. I gotta go home."
"But--" Taylor bit her lip again, "See you."
"I'll see you." I replied and walked off. I didn't have the strength to run off to my dorm, instead, I walked very slowly and started texted my mum, asking if she's alright. When eventually, I got dizzy, I settled on to making my way to the dorm.
I lied on my bed immediately and I didn't even bother making my homeworks. I think, I fell asleep too early that night.
The next day, Niall had tried convincing me not to go to school because I really looked dreadful. . . he was very successful. Besides, I could use a day's rest.
Basically, my day sucked because I couldn't play Harvest Moon, I get very dizzy. I couldn't watch any movie, not even my most favourite films as I get distracted and get bored halfway through. I also couldn't play with anything, my knives, my cards, nothing! So, all there's left are the thoughts that makes my headache twice less bearable.
I've been thinking about it, Mr. Delfin's offer and, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea. Plus, Taylor couldn't easily write with her left hand, someone has to assist her. Just one competition wouldn't hurt.
I ran my hand through my face, "Damn the things this girl could do to me." I mumbled.
I called her up after, knowing that it was lunch time so she could be very well free now.
"Harry."
"Hey, Tay." I greeted. "Can I ask you a favour?"
"Okay."
"Is the position for Mr. Delfin's group competition still open for me?" I asked.
"I suppose so. Why?" She asked but then I could already sense her smile. "Harry, don't tell me--"
"Don't act so surprised, love." I said, don't act like you didn't even like the idea. Don't act like you never ever ever tried putting me under your spell because I already followed almost everything you said.
"Oh my gosh!" She said, sounding quite excited. "Thank you so much!"
"If you had really wanted me to join that badly, you could have said something." I said.
"I guess, I should've."
There was silence between us, and right now I don't know why all of a sudden, it gets so difficult for me to keep a conversation going with her. Still. . . it's nice talking to her.
"Uh, Taylor, I uh, I need to sleep. I'll — I'll see you tomorrow."
"Rest up." She said and then the call simply ended.
I made myself rest up as much as I can so that I could go to school tomorrow. I was convincing enough, I reckon because Niall let me go to school the next day. I woke up early and then dressed up in our uniform and then I headed to school.
I wasn't feeling that well so I tried not to push myself to the very limits.
Lucky for Taylor, she was allowed not to write because she was right handed and her fracture was an excuse. But me? Even with that pounding headache that I couldn't admit that I have, they wouldn't let me rest my eyes for even just a few minutes.
"I think you're still sick." Taylor whispered the moment we walked out of our history class. "You should go home, at least rest in the clinic."
"I'm alright. I can last today, don't worry." I said with a reassuring smile although half of me is practically mentally hitting myself for being a liar.
"Oh okay. But I suppose you'll lay off the rains today." She said.
I nodded, "Yeah, promise, no hallway rains today."
Someone bumped into me but I didn't mind it that much. It was a casual thing to happen anyways. But then it was a few seconds later when I smelled something burning.
Even with the crowded hallways and the noise splitting in, I noticed something. I turned my head to look at who bumped me and it turned out to be Nathan and he even showed me his lighter. Fuck no.
I heard Nathan Hallow's laugh and above all, the string of fireworks that started popping too loudly. Immediately, my heart felt like it was about to give in but my senses heightened on alert.
The moment I saw it was on my sling bag, I threw my bag and told the people to get away. The students cleared out once the explosions had gone to a worse level.
As though on instinct, I used my body to shield Taylor from the minor explosions and all the while, I was panicking! I didn't like fireworks that's why I never used them. My eardrums felt like they were bleeding and I started shaking.
Taylor knew, or rather felt that because the moment the firecrackers stopped, she asked me if I was alright. . . I couldn't exactly answer.
I almost couldn't breathe, not because of the smoke or the shock, but it's because of the reason I never use firecrackers. . . fear. My heart was rocking against my chest and I was shaking very badly, I already felt my fever rising up again and my vision blurry.
"Harry---" Taylor said something but I couldn't hear her, much more understand her.
It took me a second to remember what happened, to clear my head, to actually register what Nathan did.
I couldn't stop myself from trembling in fear. The loud bangs reminded me of gunshots and I couldn't get the illusion out of my head. . . of a hundred bullets striking in me.
"Harry, look at me. Harry." Taylor called and for a second I faced her. I vaguely remembered what she was saying, all I know is she was worried. . . yet, I couldn't stay focused on her. Something else was overpowering the feeling of security of being close to her.
I saw my bag on fire and there was a loud explosion following it that Taylor pulled me away from the scene. The commotion caused panicked, and the fire alarms started going off, raining down on us.
"Harry, we--" Taylor was talking to me again, she was in front of me but I could barely concentrate on her.
It registered to me that everything inside my bag was wrecked. Everything is either on fire or already badly damaged. And Taylor was in the scene. He could have at least waited for some time when I haven't got anyone around me!
I started taking very deep breaths as I remembered what was inside my bag and my vision darkened.
I felt Taylor still pulling me away through the crowd of people trying to get away from this hall. I was following her blankly but my head started blacking out in rage.
He put firecrackers in my bag. Firecrackers, the things that I hate the most. . . inside my fucking bag.
If nothing was destroyed I would gladly let this pass, if it was just the noise or the terror, I won't react this way. But everything inside that was important!
I remembered. . . I know what's inside, my notebooks, my favourite silver knife, my pen with the knife, my playing cards. . . my. . . fucking. . . laptop!
And what's worse, Taylor was right there with me. She could've gotten hurt!
"He's dead." I muttered. I swallowed down, staring straight at the direction he went to.
Everything inside my bag were either my favourites or very important to me to just be destroyed in a minute.
"What?" Taylor asked and I shook her grip from my hand.
My teeth gritted with each other and my fists already crumpled. Anger is pumping into every vein of mine and I don't fucking care if I'm sick. He is fucking dead to me.
"He's fucking dead." I spat and ran across the halls.
"Harry--"
I did not hear what Taylor has to say, but neither was I listening to anything. I pushed through the crowds, following where Nathan Hallows went and he didn't exactly make it hard for me to find him.
I grabbed him by the collar and dragged him to the ground violently, the students around us started screaming and calling out to the teachers while I can tell some people were enjoying the scene.
The next part was rather bloody. . .
Four hours of speeches, nonsense talks and isolation from everyone, I was finally allowed to go outside. I walked slowly through the principal's office, making my way to the door with a blank expression.
The house inside these four walls were dreadful. It was useless! Not one bit of their counseling had an effect on me. Nothing's going to change my mind. I beat up an asshole, I don't regret it and I never will. They wouldn't even let me go out even if I was sick and I vomited several times. It made my headache grow worse and I know my fever is rising up but they got to choose between my health and punishment. . . they loved picking out the latter.
When I found out that they'd let me out, I was delighted. The awful part was they said they'd let my mum know about this. I don't need her worried sick! But of course, when you live in a world full of adults and you're a teenager, you don't have a say on anything at all.
They had Nathan and I in separate rooms and I was thankful for it. But lucky him, he was sent to the clinic first even though I was the one who was sick. . . so I've lasted inside those isolation rooms longer than he did.
I opened the for slightly but pulled it once I heard Taylor and Niall arguing.
"Taylor, Harry wouldn't just take that lying down. You have to understand--" Niall was trying to explain. I eavesdropped for a moment, knowing that Taylor was absolutely mad at me.
If she hadn't stopped the fight, Nathan would've been in the hospital by now. I was mad at her for stopping it but I didn't do anything to her, making her anger towards me very unreasonable.
"Niall, Harry was being so violent earlier! He couldn't even be restrained. He didn't have to do that. Nathan would be very well likely sent back to England because I was there. I witnessed it, but it doesn't help, it won't help now."
I felt my throat dry and I wanted to stop listening because I know I'll end up feeling worse than I do now but I'm a natural masochist. Whatever the hell just happens, I don't fucking care.
"What do you want me to do? My best mate was right this instance, I would have done the same if I were him so don't judge his character based on his reaction earlier." Niall defended. "You can't be mad at him for reacting that way."
"Yes, I can." Taylor said, glaring at Niall. "Nathan was barely able to fight back to Harry. Doesn't that mean anything? Harry was almost unscathed!"
"And you should be bloody thankful for that." He said, "Imagine for a moment that he wasn't able to throw that sling. . . it would have done an even worse damage than he did to that bloody git."
"What, so I'm just going to let that slide?!" I've got no idea why she was mad at me. She is being fucking unreasonable in the worst time.
"Why are you mad at him?! He didn't do anything to you." He asked and it's a rather good question.
"Why am I mad at him? Niall, are you even hearing yourself? Harry could have murdered Nathan if he wanted to. And you're just like, oh, Nathan deserved it, cheers for my pal. Harry could have done something he would regret and now you're asking me why I'm mad?!" Taylor yelled at him and honestly, I didn't like her tone.
She doesn't fully know me, I wouldn't have regretted it if I actually murdered Nathan there. . . even if I'm already eighteen.
Niall scoffed, "Do you want to know why he really reacted that way?! You don't know him too much, Taylor because you don't even know the reason why he was mad. I wasn't there but I knew what happened and --"
"I knew the reason why he was mad because I was right there!" Taylor argued. I didn't know what started their argument but they better fucking end it soon. "You didn't see what I see. Harry was--"
"Taylor, I've been with Harry and that's how he reacts when it's about something he loved."
"That doesn't justify it." Taylor said, crossing her arms right near her chest, frowning at Niall. "Do you have any idea how many students were there? The people he actually pushed and stepped onto?"
"No, I haven't the slightest but it's much less than the damage Nathan caused. Just try to understand, Harry was the victim here."
"Apparently not anymore since he just ruined it for himself."
Niall groaned in frustration, I could tell he was already tired of this argument and there wasn't a way Taylor was going to let him win. I was bored listening to it anyways. Good guy, bad guy, who fucking cares?!
"Fuck, you don't get it. You just--"
"Don't sweat it, Niall." I said, finally walking out. I shut the door behind me, I didn't take my time to look at Taylor, only my best mate. "She isn't going to side with it whatever you tell her."
I am well aware that Taylor was right there, I am well aware of the death glare she is giving me. . . but actually, I'm well aware that I don't care.
I looked at her, and it was fortunate that I still remembered what I liked about her. . . her honesty, sometimes she could just easily blurt things out so easily. But to be honest, she could have just said it to me and not argue with Niall, I'd appreciate it better.
I didn't say a thing, the catatonic stare I had on was enough to tell her that I don't care anymore. She's so smart, she can understand that.
Taylor stayed quiet. She already knows that I heard enough to know that with just one damn blow everything between us will be left behind. I don't know how long but honestly, I couldn't find it in myself to worry. She can stay mad at me for whatever the hell is the reason and I wouldn't care. I didn't do anything to her!
Last I checked, I was protecting her when literally, those were my fears I was trying to protect her from.
I'd never admit it to her, not now or not anymore but I was terrified earlier. Way beyond terrified, the kind of alarm that went through my head was unbearable. I hated those firecrackers like they were gunshots, I feared them like they were gunshots. . . but anyways, my first instinct was to shield her from it.
I also wouldn't admit it to her, but all the things she said hit and passed through me like bullets hitting a breakable glass. She was mad, I understand, but I can never forget that those words came from her.
"Niall, I'd just rather go home at the moment." I said and Niall followed me as I walked out. We both left Taylor in the halls, and I didn't look back.
My head started pounding again, the moment I walked out of the school premises and Niall helped me get to the dorm.
I was suspended for a week, disappointing almost everyone close to me and it was my last warning before they ship me back to England.
Earlier, they gave me back my broken things once they've decided that the items were already harmless. Unfortunately, the FBI agent went through my stuff too. I didn't like him so I didn't even took the time to read out his name. He found out about my knives but thankfully, not whatever it is that's in my wrecked laptop.
I took everything out from my bag, not one had been left undamaged so I threw them all to the ground.
"She just cared about you, you know that." Niall said, starting the conversation with the worst subject he could think of.
"I don't really care." I said, completely casual about it. I took my headphones and plugged it into my cellphone, playing the loudest of the rock songs I have.
I couldn't sleep that night. I just kept hearing the loud sounds of the firecrackers. I hated them more than anything in the world. At least in the games, the loud sounds caused pure excitement and thrills whereas firecrackers just cause me nothing but terror and almost heart attacks.
He needs to be out of here. Nathan has to be kicked out. No one is going to forgive me for this but I cannot stand another second in the same premises as that asshole.
The next day, Thursday, Niall left me alone too early so I haven't had anything to do but wait for the hours to come. I made a few calls and tried as much to get my strength back. I wouldn't want to lose it tomorrow.
It was rather hard for me, not being able to use my laptop because it was the only one I've had since I was thirteen!
I closed my eyes, letting the thoughts sink in.