I opened my locker, relief flooding through me that the school day was finally over. I was about to reach in to grab my precalculus textbook when the metal door slammed shut. I turned to see my best friend, Britt, standing next to me, wearing a pissed expression, her arms crossed over her chest. Even when she was mad, she was still beautiful. Her tan skin was lit by the cheap school lighting, showing off her clear complexion. She was 5'9'' and model skinny. Her only flaw was the braces that covered her pearly white teeth, but those would eventually be taken off. If she wasn't my best friend, I probably would have hated her.
"Uhh... excuse you," I remarked.
"What the hell happened to you last night? One minute, you were going to get some fresh air and then you were gone for like an hour. I had to call Link to come pick me up since you ditched me," Britt complained.
"I'm sorry," I stated. I'd been avoiding this conversation all day by getting lunch off-campus and avoiding all the spots we usually met up at throughout the day. "Things kind of took an unexpected turn last night."
Britt raised her eyebrows. "As in?"
"You can't tell anyone," I warned her. "This seriously has to stay between us."
"Duh."
"Okay, umm... I had sex with Andy Biersack," I whispered.
Britt's eyes looked as though they were going to pop out from their sockets as her jaw dropped. "What the fuck? You lost your virginity to-," she shouted before I clamped my hand over her mouth to shut up. Eyes were already wandering over to us.
"He's like 30," she gasped out once I removed my hand.
"He's 29 actually," I replied.
"That's still so weird. Like, he's hot and all, but he's so old."
"No, he's not, and it was amazing."
"You're actually being serious right now. Oh my god, tell me everything."
With a sigh, I quickly breezed over the details of the past evening. I told her everything from meeting behind the drink to us going backstage. "And then... we, umm, did it." The idea of sex still felt awkward in my mind. I'd lost my virgin label, but I really didn't feel any different. I still felt innocent and vulnerable and naive.
"What was it like?" Britt asked.
"Well, it was painful, but after a while, kind of nice," I explained quietly as we walked out of the school building and into the emptying parking lot.
"Did he like take care of you after and stuff?"
"Definitely not," I replied, almost scoffing at the idea. "He didn't really know, and afterwards, he basically kicked me out."
"Seriously?" Britt gaped.
"Yeah, he was like, this was great and all but I have to get going. So I like got dressed and he walked me to my car, kissed me, and then left. I didn't even get his number."
"Ouch," she muttered. "Nothing could have happened anyway," Britt continued, as if it was supposed to be reassuring. "I mean, that's illegal, you know? It's like statutory rape. If he wasn't Andy Biersack, one of the hottest old dudes ever, I'd find this totally wrong and disgusting."
"It didn't feel wrong," I mumbled, more to myself. Thinking back to last night, it had all felt perfect. Even through the pain, I had liked the way Andy had touched me. There was something about the guy that made me feel different. I no longer felt like some silly sixteen year old girl that no boy ever paid attention to. I felt wanted and mature.
Of course, as soon as I was driving home and back to my boring teenage life, the feeling faded quickly.
I unlocked my car as soon as we were a few feet away, hearing the quiet click of the doors. My car was a hand-me-down from my mom. It was a cherry red 2009 Volkswagen Beetle, and though it wasn't my dream car, it got me where I needed to go.
"I seriously need to get my license," Britt sighed, twirling a lock of her auburn hair around her finger.
"You still need to get your permit," I laughed.
"Ugh, I know. I'm like the only sixteen year old that can't drive. It's ridiculous."
"It's not ridiculous. It's just proof of how lazy you are."
"Shut up," Britt said. "You know I hate tests."
I rolled my eyes, backing out of the parking space and joining the slow parade of cars exiting the parking lot. School traffic was irritating and time-consuming, but Britt and I always passed the time talking and listening to music.
"I was thinking that to make up for you ditching me last night, we could have a movie night at your house. I'm dying for junk food and hot guy abs," Britt said as she pulled her long golden hair into a high ponytail.
"Sounds good," I agreed. "I have barely any homework tonight, so my mom won't care."
After fifteen minutes of bumper to bumper traffic and gossiping, we reached Target. The parking lot was packed with cars and stray shoppers, a perfect example of America's greed and consumption. However, I couldn't deny that Target was probably one of the most convenient stores ever.
"I think I could live in this store," Britt mused as she tossed a handful of makeup products in her shopping cart.
I rolled my eyes, following behind her as she explored the beauty products. "I'm going to go pick out a movie for tonight."
"Make sure it has hot guy abs," she called.
I walked through the busy store until reaching the entertainment section, heading straight to the aisle of newly released DVDs. Most of these movies were garbage, but there was something relaxing about losing yourself in the plot of someone else's life. With my thoughts revolving around Andy, the idea seemed even more appealing than usual. I shouldn't have been thinking about him so much. After all, I'd probably never see him again. And if I did, nothing would happen. As much as it hurt to admit, Britt was right. He was 13 years older than me. There was no possibility of us having a normal relationship. Still, my mind taunted me with memories.
Last night, the pain had melded into pleasure so seamlessly. One moment, I was trying to hide the overwhelming discomfort and the next I was begging him to go faster. It was such a foreign act. I'd seen movies with sex scenes, of course, and even read a few suggestive romance novels. However, it was completely different than what I'd expected. It was so intimate and passionate. For a moment, I'd felt so connected to Andy. Like, the moment had been branded on our souls, completely unforgettable.
Of course, that didn't seem to be the case. I could still feel the disappointment that had flooded me as soon as he pulled away from me and got dressed. One moment, we were everything, and the next we were nothing. My stomach had plummeted and this horrible ache began in my chest. I had to fake a smile as he got rid of me like I never mattered.
It hurt to even think about, so I focused my mind back on picking a movie. After reading the backs of a few DVDs and finally deciding on the one that seemed the most intriguing, I turned to go find Britt. In the process of spinning around, I managed to shove myself into someone else's cart and slip on the slick flooring. My hands gripped the red plastic of the cart, keeping me upright as I attempted to regain my composure.
Looking up with a flushed face, I was met with familiar blue eyes that held a mixture of amusement and surprise. If I wasn't embarrassed before, I definitely was now. There Andy was, looking as handsome as ever, while I clumsily fell all over the place.
"What are you doing here?" I breathed out in shock, trying to subtly run a hand through my messy hair.
"Shopping, obviously," he said. "I'm not stalking you... unless you're into that."
"Right," I muttered. "I'm not stalking you either, by the way."
"That's good," Andy smirked.
"Yeah," I said, letting go of the basket I forgot I was holding onto. My eyes glanced over the array of products, taking in boxes of frozen pizza and a stack of notebooks. There were a few surprising items, such as a box of tampons, but I figured he might be buying them for a friend. Meeting Andy's curious gaze, I added, "I wasn't really expecting to see you again."
Andy laughed awkwardly, running a hand through his cropped raven hair. "Maybe fate's trying to tell us something."
My eyes widened slightly as I processed his words. I bit down on my lip to fight the smile that pulled at my lips as hope blossomed in my chest. There was a chance for us. Andy thought this meant something. It totally did though. What are the chances of seeing someone twice in twenty four hours in a big city like Los Angeles? Pretty unlikely.
"Maybe we should listen then," I replied, my heart racing.
Andy gave me one of his signature smirks, reaching his hand into his pocket and pulling out his phone. "Put your number in."
I took the device from his hands and entered my number, double checking to make sure it was correct.
Once I returned his phone and tore my gaze from his dazzling eyes, I announced, "I have to go. My friend probably thinks I died in the process of picking out a movie."
Andy nodded. "Okay, I'll text you later, Kourt."
I sent him one last smile, then pivoted around and began walking in the other direction, paying special attention not to trip or do anything stupid while I was still in Andy's view. I broke out into a grin. He called me Kourt. He asked for my number. He said fate wanted us to be together. I wanted to scream from the sheer excitement of it all. Instead, I just went to find Britt. She was in the beauty section where I left her, reading the label of a cleansing skin mask.
"Oh my god," I squealed as I reached her.
She looked up in confused surprise. "What?"
"Guess who I just saw right now?"
"Uhh... Ryan Gosling?"
"No, try again," I urged.
"Alex Gaskarth?"
"You're really bad at this. I was picking out a movie and then I ran into Andy," I told her.
"Seriously?" Britt gasped. "That's so crazy."
"I know, and then he asked for my number and he's going to text me later."
I felt like I was on cloud nine. I wanted to dance around and scream and jot Mrs. Kourtney Biersack in the corners of all my notebooks.
Britt was a good enough friend to let me babble on about my interaction with Andy through the store, at the cash register, and during our walk across the parking lot. It had been mere minutes of interaction, but I'd extracted so much from it. If the memory of how powerful Andy's blue gaze was had faded, it was all back now. Everything from the way his tight black jeans hugged his skinny legs to the sterling silver gleam of his piercings was etched into my mind.
As we climbed into my car, my mind still stuck on my moment with Andy, I stated, "You know, the only weird thing was that when I looked at his cart, he was buying a bunch of girl stuff. I guess it was for a friend, but that's still kind of strange."
"Oh," Britt muttered in a weird tone. I glanced over at her, watching as she picked at her nails.
"What aren't you telling me?" I questioned. If there was something about Andy I should know, Britt had all the information. She was like an encyclopedia of random facts about band members.
"I think Andy has a girlfriend," she announced.
"A girlfriend?"
"Like, a serious girlfriend."
"How serious?"
"Like, they've been dating for ten years serious."
"They could have broken up," I responded, even though I knew the weakness of my own argument.
"Maybe," Britt said, trying to assure me. "You know, I don't really pay much attention to Andy. They could have broken up a while ago and I just didn't hear about it."
"Right," I sighed.
"It's probably not a big deal," Britt shrugged.
"Do you think I should ask him about it?"
"Definitely not. You don't want to scare him off. Just see what happens. Maybe he'll explain it to you himself."
I nodded, my hope fading once more. Since meeting Andy, my emotions were on a roller coaster ride. One moment, I was filled with hope and joy, and the next I was crushed and disappointed.