1st April, 2020
"It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that a man wanted to marry a woman and the Prophet said: 'Look at her, for there is something in the eyes of the Ansar.'" Grade: Sahih (Darussalam) Reference: Sunan an-Nasa'i 3247
Chapter 09:
Rewards of the Patient
"Kareema, is there anything you want to tell me?" Her mother asked, making Kareema look at her through the mirror.
"No, Mum." Kareema shook her head, before going back to adjusting the maroon hijab on her head. "Is something wrong?"
"I don't know why I feel like this might not work out." Her mother said, sitting down on her bed.
"Why do you think that?" Kareema asked, carefully choosing her words to conceal her surprise, wondering where the distaste stemmed from.
"If there's a reason that you think we should know about, tell me." Mrs. Hussain looked at her daughter with an earnest expression.
"I don't know of any such reason, though." Kareema turned to look at her. "I don't understand, why are we still questioning this?"
"I didn't like it that he is contacting us after so long, it looks like he's a bit indecisive." Mrs. Hussain spoke, and Kareema hadn't even thought of that in her happiness that he was finally willing to talk. "Truth be told, I'm scared. What if he's like that in the future too? What if he has reasons that can't be forgiven?"
Kareema sighed.
"What if--?"
"I don't know why he took this much time, but I do know that he's one of the best persons I have heard about." Kareema spoke truthfully, unable to look at her mother in the eye out of shyness. "I could be wrong, but I want to refrain from thinking too much about this. I can only judge after I know his reason."
"You are too soft for this world." Her mother shook her head, smiling a little, though not entirely reassured. "I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks that."
"Weren't we advised to think the best of people?" Kareema gave her mother a smile.
"May Allah guide you." Her mother spoke. "I will make Du'a that this works out for the best. Now come on, your father and Ahsan have already arrived from the masjid."
Kareema nodded, took a deep breath, and followed her mother out of the room. She found it a little strange that Ahsan wanted to speak to her in private, but her father had agreed as he knew the guy was trustworthy. Besides, he could see them clearly through the balcony door, it didn't really matter if he couldn't hear them.
Kareema walked into the balcony and her cheeks suddenly felt too warm for her liking as Ahsan looked up at her. He stood up, smiled and greeted her confidently, and she replied politely before settling herself on the red cushioned chair a few feet away from him.
I missed you, Ahsan. Her mind spoke, making her feel like somebody had undone a few knots in her heart. I missed that smile.
"How are you?" He asked.
"Alhamdulillah, I'm fine." Kareema replied reflexively, her eyes tracing the patterns on the floor.
"Aah..." He smiled. "Alhamdulillah, but I think being your fiancé has its own perks..."
Kareema looked up at him in shock, and blinked as he was looking right at her. Her heart skipped a beat as he gazed at her continuously, capturing her within his eyes. It was with a sincere intensity she wasn't familiar with.
I don't think I'm going to ever get used to this. She giggled in her mind.
"How fine is fine?" He prompted gently.
"I wasn't that good until recently." Kareema answered truthfully. "There were days I thought would never end, there were times I couldn't speak because I was too close to crying. I was worried to such a degree, it scared me. But I've been at a little more ease after you decided to talk."
"I'm sorry." Ahsan responded, guilt evident on his face. "It must've been hard for you. That's why I'm here again, I don't want you suffering any more because of me."
"What does that mean, Ahsan?" She asked, unable to decipher his words.
"I have come here to tell you something very important, Kareema." He spoke. "You have to understand that this might not work out after I tell you my reasons. After you understand why I didn't contact you for so long, you might not want to continue this."
She was reminded of her mother's words, but she let him talk. Somehow, it seemed to her that everyone was trying to tell her that it wouldn't work, even Ahsan. No matter what, she had not gone through all that pain for nothing, she wasn't one to give up that easily. She looked at him for explanation in silence, and Ahsan sighed.
"You remember that I told you about my disease?" Ahsan asked.
"Yes, I remember." Kareema nodded, wondering if that was all.
"I had to get some tests done after I sent you this proposal." He spoke, his eyes on the pretty pot that carried the mint plant. "The results came back a few weeks ago, and... I was so shocked that..." He looked back at Kareema, who was listening intently. "To be honest, it took a few days for me to get used to it. I have a conception rate of less than seven percent." He confessed.
Silence followed his words.
She was almost sure she'd heard him wrong.
It couldn't be that the dream she had dreamt from the start was shattering in front of her.
"I'm sorry, for not telling you earlier... For not realizing that you needed to know this as much as I did... For everything I've put you through." Ahsan continued, his heart filling with dread as each second passed.
Oh Ahsan, you've suffered just as much. She wanted to say. You've been scarred more than I can bear.
"You don't have to give me an answer right now." He told her, though his heart and mind begged her to release her thoughts. "You can take your time. I understand if you want to let your parents know about this. I get it that they have a say in it too. It is hard to admit, but I have to say this for you... Sometimes, even after you do a background check, there are things you can't find out about a person. This is one of those things, but I want to be sincere with you, Kareema. I don't want anything to come between us if we do get married. But if I had a daughter, I wouldn't want her to marry someone like me."
"Ahsan, there is something I want you to know."
Kareema's voice filled the air after what seemed like an eternity.
"What is that?" He asked, glad that she was finally speaking.
"I have always tried doing everything for the sake of Allah." She said, catching his attention, for he hadn't expected her to still keep talking to him. "I can't remember being happier when you sent this proposal, because all that I've heard about you reminded me of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him."
"Peace be upon him." Ahsan repeated, fireworks going off in his heart.
"For a second, when you confessed about this, I asked myself that if I accept this proposal now, would it be for the sake of Allah?" She related. "Or would it be because... I have to come to like you?"
She didn't know where she had found the courage to utter those words, but she was glad she had. Aside from serving the purpose of the conversation, she had let him know that she did indeed like him. Now that she said it, it seemed more real to her.
"I know that we're advised to marry those who will help benefit the ummah." Kareema continued. "But I am pleased with your character and goodness, your patience with things, your reactions to the trials life throws in your way, even the way you've handled this particular situation... These are things I admire very much. I don't want to lose this, Ahsan. I have learnt a lot about the religion I love from you, and I want to keep doing that. Would this then, also not be for the sake of Allah?"
"Children are a blessing from Allah, they're the sweetest miracle, and I would love to see my own one day." Kareema smiled at him. "And if Allah Wills, after we make du'a to Him, all He has to say is 'be', and it is. I have learnt to have this much belief in my Lord, I have conditioned myself to think that if I ask from Him with all my heart and soul, there is no blessing He cannot bestow. I believe in the miracles of du'a and sabr enough to let Him handle it for me."
"I am not yet sure if I will tell my parents about this, because while they want the best for me, they don't think of you like I do. This is your amaanah, and I will keep it safe with me for the time being." She finished, trying her best to not let the tears fall onto her cheeks.
Ahsan looked at her in awe. Her tear-filled eyes melted his heart, he couldn't believe what he had just heard.
"Where did I manage to find a girl like you, Kareema?" Ahsan uttered, his words laced with emotion.
"I've kind of been wondering the same about you." Kareema replied, and her heart soared at the smile he gave her.
"Can I hear your answer then?" Ahsan requested eagerly, his eyes dancing with excitement.
"I don't remember you asking that question." She said cheekily.
"Aah, you will kill me with your words one day." Ahsan declared, a sigh of relief escaping him.
"I guess you should keep your shield up then." Kareema spoke.
"Or I could welcome you in to relish those words." He responded. "I have not heard anyone speak the way you do, it would be a treat."
"Being a writer had its perks." Kareema replied humbly, with a smile.
"Ma Shaa Allah." Ahsan smiled. "It's getting dark, I have to leave for the masjid. But before I go, here's something I forgot to give you earlier." He said, handing her a small palm-sized box. "Open it after I leave, though." He advised, knowing that he probably would not be able to stop himself from crushing her in a hug if he saw her reaction.
"Jazakumullahu khairan." She said sweetly as they stood up.
"Wa antum fajazakumullahu khairan, Kareema." He replied. "I will see you again, soon In Shaa Allah."
"In Shaa Allah." She nodded, as she heard the balcony door opening.
Her father had come over as soon as they stood up, and Kareema was over the moon as he gave her one last smile and headed towards the exit. Ahsan thanked her father, and together, they decided to leave for Maghrib.
It was after dinner when she reached her room that she decided to open the little box she had been gifted. It was a white one, rimmed with golden borders. Her name was printed on the box, and she wondered where he had found such a thing. She gently pulled the lid apart.
A delicate necklace with a hanging, white, flower-shaped pendant rested amidst a bed of freshly plucked jasmine flowers.
There was a note too.
"Because roses and rings are too mainstream for us. -Ahsan"
Kareema smiled in amusement. There were things she thought she knew, but his views seemed to overlap her in such a beautiful way that her definitions changed. The rewards of the patient were promised by the Lord of the Worlds, be it in this world or The Next. For Kareema, it seemed like finally, reality was better than the dreams she had been yearning for. She thanked Allah for her reward, it was enough to suffice until she would see him again. There was only one thought running through her mind as sleep began to overtake her.
You are one of a kind, Ahsan. Alhamdulillah for you.