Twisted Moon - Book 3 of the Black Moon series - Chapter 5: When You Need Money...
(Noah's POV - Wed. 18 February 2015)
It is cold... so damn cold... I am craving for a comfortable bed... No, not even a comfortable bed, just a plain old mattress would do. It would be so much better than this cold concrete ground. I may have managed to arrange this little hiding in an abandoned building, but for lack of a heater, the cold still penetrates through the walls and broken windows and I am desperately yearning for some warmth. It feels like ages since I last had a good night of sleep; at that unknown place where I woke up, was it like... a month ago? Well, it does feel like ages.
Something wet is licking my cheeks and quiet whimpering echoes in my ears. I hold on to the little ball of fur, pulling him closer into my chest so that we can better share the warmth of our bodies, and rubbing behind the puppy's ears, but he keeps on whining.
"What is it, Jess?" I ask with a tired and sleepy voice, getting another high-pitched bark in answer. "If you need to pee, just walk further away in the building..." I add, releasing my grip on him so that he can get out from beneath the blankets, but he just scrapes his big paws on my face, licking my nose. This time I open my eyes and look at his adorable head; cocker spaniels have the most expressive eyes in the dogdom and Jess never misses to use them to move me. "What? It's not like we have anything to do, Buddy! So why don't you just let me sleep and do the same?" His baby teeth snap on my nose, followed by a long lick that makes me chuckle. I get the message! That little boy is hungry.
I can't believe I almost lost him a month ago... A good and warm night of sleep wasn't worth leaving him on his own for so long and all the stress that ensued while I was getting back. I remember how I was shaking like a leaf, with knots in my stomach when I finally made it to the small abandoned warehouse that sits between the railways. I was so persuaded that I would find his dead and frozen little body that, by the time I walked into the building through one of the broken windows, my face was streak with uncontrollable tears and my chest was heaving with nausea. As soon as I reached the tiny area that I have arranged for us, I heard a little yelp, followed by whimpers of excitement; the cute puppy popped his head out of the heap of clothes and lumbered to me as fast as he could. When I took him into my arms and pulled him close to my chest, he wouldn't stop yapping and licking my ears, making me laugh from the huge relief and happiness I felt.
So, no, a good night of sleep in a warm and comfortable bed really wasn't worth missing that again and I promised him that I would never leave him alone another night. I made up for my absence by feeding him some of the cookies I had stolen from the Good Samaritan's cupboards, which he greedily devoured. I knew it wasn't the best food for him, but later that day, I used some of the money I stole in the wallet to buy him some real doggy food and even a few sweets.
Now he cocks his head to the side, looking at me with his clever eyes and tries a deeper bark which only comes out as another high-pitched yelp, making me laugh at his funny expression. He must have been barely two-month old when I found him in a trash container last December; maybe less. That day had been the best of my homeless life. Earlier that morning, as I was wandering in some park, I found a lost wallet that must have fallen off from someone's bag or pocket. I sincerely felt sorry for that person, but I was too much in need for money at that time; so I took the eighty dollars and thought of redeeming myself by dropping the wallet in a mailbox, hoping that the postman would return the credit cards and ID papers to the owner. For once, I allowed myself a warm meal in a diner, affording a little over thirteen dollars on it and that afternoon, as I was walking back to my previous shelter through the narrowest alleys, I suddenly heard a little whimper coming from a trash container I was passing by.
At first, I frightfully thought that it was a baby whining, but when I pulled up the lid, I found a trash bag with something moving inside, above all the other garbage. My heart clenched at the sight of an entire litter of four cocker puppies. Who could be heartless and ignominious enough to get rid of such little cuties? They were all black except for one that had little patches of white. Unfortunately, they were also all dead already, except for that little black and white baby.
He was looking at me with his sad eyes, dizzy and trying to disentangle from his brothers or sisters. I could tell that he had been fed properly until then because he wasn't skinny, but I didn't know how long he had been there and as a baby, he was still quite weak. A little yap later, I had pulled him out of the trash and slipped him between my chest and the layers of clothes I was wearing, his soft hair tickling my skin. He must have been cold and I needed to warm him quickly. Of course, I couldn't let his brothers and sisters in the trash either; they deserved a better cemetery than a dumpster, so I pulled the bag out of there and walked to a park where I buried them between bushes. I did the best I could and it wasn't perfect, but with only my knife, fingers and nails, it wasn't too easy to dig into the hard dirt and it even took me a few days to heal from the scratches.
Anyway, that day I earned eighty dollars and the responsibility over a puppy that I needed to feed and take care of. Jess was probably the best thing that could happen to me in a way. For one, I resolved to always make sure he would be fed properly, so that meant I had to pull my fingers out and get a better move on than what I was used to, to try and get money to sustain the both of us. Then, he has been a great companion and although he sleeps a lot, I feel much less lonely now. I can spend hours cuddling him and when he is awake, I just love playing with him. He often explores the abandoned building and brings back all sorts of treasures, like pieces of metal or fabric that I have to throw so that he can run and get them back. He has also helped my urges to cut myself; a little. The few times it happened, he clearly didn't like it, whining and pushing me in order to lick my injuries.
"You hungry, pup'...?" I ask as he nudges his little nose into my cheek again. "Okay... okay... I'm gonna move and try to get you some food... I'm hungry too actually..." I sigh. I can't help a few tears escaping from my eyes at the thought that I was stupid enough to waste a lot of my precious dollars on a damn small bottle of whiskey after I ran away from that house in Lisle last month; not that it would have changed today's problem because the sixty dollars I stole back then would have been long spent anyway; but stupid because I paid it a high price from an unscrupulous salesman, and since I am not used to drinking, it just made me sick. As a sordid twist of fate, finding money has been quite difficult since then, like it always is, but it feels like it got worse.
For a few seconds, I consider my options. Stealing is out of the question, I am feeling far too tired and weak at the moment for a race; to be honest, this is not something I am comfortable with anyway. Begging is not my kind either; I hate sitting on the cold pavements and wait for hours in the cold for someone to drop a few coins in a hat. Passers-by would certainly be touched by my cute little ball of fur but I don't want to use him to gain pity from people; I don't want to get pity at all actually. It was my decision to flee from my parents' home and even if I didn't have too much of a choice, I have to face the consequences and build myself a future. Every time I begged, I felt like I was asking people to take pity on me and I loathed that feeling. I want to be strong and pull myself through.
Applying for a job is unfortunately an option that I have given up for now; at least until I am able to get new official identification documents without my parents' help; in my hurry to leave their house that night, I forgot to take my ID card and getting a legal job without it is a bit difficult. Then, there is moonlighting and I did it quite a few times back in Detroit, but I certainly don't want to repeat my first and last experience in Chicago; I had found this little undeclared job with some guys who did some renovation in a house, but after two days of hard work, the boss shoed me out without giving me a cent. I naively tried to threaten him but he only had to bark the words you have no evidence so get out to see me scamper away like a coward. I know I should have asked for the cash first but I was just not smart enough; too shy maybe as well. Anyway, this is not an experience I am willing to try again.
So I don't want to beg, I can't get a real job with no ID documents, and I don't want to be a thief anymore... so what do I have left? I have no education since I dropped out of school a year and a half ago and I don't have any particular talent that could get me some money easily; I can't even sing! I am so useless... just good for nothing! Well, there's still something I could try... it is an idea that has been blooming in my mind for the past few days, but I can't even be sure I would be good at that! Anyway, I need some money to eat and to feed Jess. If I don't do it for myself, I have to do it for him at least; he is such a cute puppy, now licking the tears on my cheeks and whimpering more and more.
"Okay Jess... I'll go... I know I can do this..." I tell him with determination, searching in my duffle bag for what I need to clean up a bit. I take one baby wipe and use it to refresh my face and armpits, before I grab a second one that I quickly brush around my private area. Okay, this is far from perfect but that should do for what I intend to do. "Alright... so you be a good boy and I'll come back with food..." I tell him as I wrap his small body with various layers of clothes before I unconspicuously exit the building. It is already dark outside so I easily manage to remain unnoticed and quickly make my way to the North.
As I walk along North Clinton Street, doubts start filling me and I wonder if this is so much of a great idea in the end; not that I ever had much faith in this, but my self-confidence is thinning as I progress toward a district where I saw some prostitutes before. Not all of them were girls; some were guys as well, so why not try my luck...? I really wonder what kind of men could try and hook up young gay prostitutes, though. They might be straight guys with a thrill to try something new; or married gay men who cheat on their husband; after all, I assume that straight men don't have a monopoly on unfaithfulness, right? In any case, they shouldn't expect more than a hand job or a blow job from me. I am not a virgin anymore but I won't sell my ass to Johns; I know that this is not much better, but I might resolve to rent my mouth; however, it won't go any further.
Now if that wasn't clear enough, I am obviously gay; weird that it didn't come up earlier since this is what got me to run away from home. To say that my father didn't appreciate to catch me doing certain things with another guy would be an understatement and my mother didn't really support me either. Drunk as she always was, she didn't even care to protect me from the blows my father poured on me that night and hadn't he been called for an emergency at work, I would certainly be dead. He was probably going to finish the job when he came back, I knew it, but I didn't let him do it. I gathered all the remaining energy I had, packed a few things and fled without a last look at my mother who was sleeping off her whiskey on the couch.
This is not something I should remember now, though. I need to concentrate on where I am headed. I don't even know if I can do this actually. Am I really capable to sell part of my body? I can't be sure but I have to. However much I hate the idea, I have to try it. That shouldn't take me more than a few minutes and I would come up with a few dollars to feed us both for a couple of days. And if I see that it works, then I might do it again.
After about an hour walking into the cold, I finally reach the north of the Loop, more hesitant than ever and nervous as hell. Before I head up further North, I decide to first walk around the park for a while or maybe along the River Walk which should be quiet at that time of day. This is where I used to often crash when I first arrived in this city. I met quite a few other homeless people there and I felt rather safe around them, but I didn't like the dampness of the river and Wacker Drive is definitely too noisy; even if my new place is not much better with the trains running all the time.
I don't really pay attention to the few people around me, but when I end up on Michigan Avenue, I decide that I have wasted enough time. I can't do this. I just can't. I need to find another way to earn money. I hate this idea as well, but if need be, I will steal some food from a store or something. This is when I notice that a very long car is driving at my walking pace and the window at the back suddenly rolls down.
"How much?" an apparently well-dressed man asks me. Oh God... how does he know what I am here for? Is it that obvious? I mean, I'm not even in the right area and I'm not wearing anything that would suggest my intentions! The man seems to be in his late forties, from his salt and pepper hair and the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. Jeez... Just when I had decided to give up on the idea, there is an opportunity and the client seems to be stinky rich, or else he wouldn't be driven in a limo, I guess. I only hesitate for a couple of seconds before I answer.
"Twenty bucks... and I only do blow jobs..." I offer shyly. I hadn't thought much about the rates and I don't even know if what I propose is coherent. Damn! Maybe I could have asked for more!
"Get in," he says, opening his door for me. I look to the right and to the left, but there aren't many people anywhere close to me. "Come on, get in. You don't have to worry. It is far too cold outside so my chauffeur will only drive around the park. He will drop you off at this same spot once we're done..." he insists very softly. Am I really supposed to trust him? I already experienced a frightening experience in Detroit and this was the reason I fled from the city a few months ago, so I am not particularly eager to repeat it. I thought we could just do that behind a tree or something... However, the guy is right; it is cold and the warmth escaping from the interior of the car is tempting, even if only for a few minutes.
"I want the money first," I reply firmly. The guy sighs but pulls out a wallet from the inside pocket of his classy coat and shows me a twenty. Biting my lip, I eventually slip inside the car and snatch the note from his hand to shove it inside my briefs. There are two seats facing each other at the back and I choose the one across from him. As the car pulls back into the light traffic, the man leans back into his seat and opens his legs as an invitation for me to start working, his hands lazily resting at his sides, while I take off my gloves.
"Whenever you're ready, boy..." he says kindly. I can see the huge bulge at the front of his pants and I think I should get this over with as soon as possible. I move to kneel between his parted legs and my shaking hands set to unbuckle his belt and open his trousers. He helps me to pull them down a little, together with his briefs, revealing a fair-sized erection. I begin to stroke his length with my hand, spreading the precum leaking from its head. The man leans further back and moans with pleasure.
"I would like your warm mouth now..." he suggest after a few minutes. Damn! I was starting to hope I might get away with a simple hand job. I haven't blown anyone in a long time and my ex-boyfriend sported a rather thin and small dick, so this is a bit scary. However, since the guy paid in advance, I inhale a deep gulp of air and take him into my mouth. I begin gently, only letting the head in at first, and then, as his moans get louder, I try to take a little more of his length. I don't think I was ever a great sucker, but the man doesn't complain; he barely pushes on my head as I swirl my tongue around his shaft and I am glad that he doesn't force me to my gag reflex. His moans are interspersed with words of encouragement so I apply myself to please him as I can.
"Be ready to swallow, boy..." he suddenly says after a few minutes. Oh my God! No! I hadn't thought about that!!! However, before I have time to lean back up, the man holds my head, yet not forcing me further down, and spurts of warm semen fill my mouth. Although I suddenly feel sick, I force my throat to gulp the salty substance, striving to think about the cash I got for that and the food I will be able to buy in a few minutes. "Perfect... You've done good..." the man says as I lean back to sit on the other seat while he tucks himself back into his trousers. "Can I drop you off anywhere?"
"Here will be fine..." I whisper sheepishly, feeling a deep blush cover my face. I actually need to get out of here as fast as possible before I get sick in his luxurious car.
"Take care of yourself," he softly says, pulling another note from his wallet and handing it to me as the car stops at the crossroad between South Michigan and East Monroe.
"Thank you, Sir..." I reply, accepting the cash, and I hurry outside, already wincing at the pain that is seeping through my head from the guilt.
As soon as the car has disappeared, I run toward the park then bend over behind small bushes and try to throw up, my chest heaving uselessly since I haven't eaten today, only bringing up what I just swallowed, which only makes me feel even sicker. I am so ashamed. Now I can call myself a man-whore; or hustler; or slut; or whatever suits the only activity that provided me with this money. I am so disgusting! I hate myself and I knew I would because this time, I brought my knife. With quick moves, I fish it from my pocket, sit down on the cold ground and pull the sleeve of my coat and sweater. Yes, I need that relief... There is so much loathe in me... But my tension calms down as soon as the blade cuts into the thin skin on the inside of my left arm. It doesn't go deep... just enough to bleed and make me feel the sting of the cold mixed with that of the knife.
However, Jess pops into my head at that moment and I also find relief in the fact that I will be able to buy him some food; this is all that should matter. In the end, I was lucky because the man was clean and generous, and it didn't last that long. Except for the swallowing part, it wasn't too difficult; or at least not as difficult as I expected. Of course, it wasn't my first time swallowing but it feels different when you do that with your boyfriend... Whatever... I cannot afford to dwell on dark thoughts now! I have enough of them as it is. If I have to do it again, then so be it, but in the meantime, I earned enough to feed us for quite a few days so I head back East.
Like a robot, still quite shocked by what I actually did, I roam the streets toward one of the bridges that cross the river, trying to cheer myself up about how happy my puppy will be when I bring him some nice dog food. I don't know how late it is right now, but I will surely find a store when I get closer to my place. The simple idea of pleasing Jess is overwhelming and I feel like wings are growing in my back. As I now hurry along the empty pavement, I suddenly see a tall man walking out of a building, carrying a case, and absent-mindedly coming in my direction. I stop dead in my tracks. I am ninety-nine percent sure that this is the Good Samaritan... I might not be in the best physical health, but my eyes can see very well and this dark expression is his.
He stops by a big car and drops his case on the passenger seat; that's when he catches sight of me. His eyes narrow with uncertainty but I don't give him one more second to stare and recognize me, although he probably did. I spin on my heels and run as fast as I can. "Hey!!!! Wait!!!!" I hear in the distance, but there is no way I am going to let him catch up with me. Not after I stole money from him. He probably wants to get it back now, but I won't have that. Jess is more important and my eagerness to please him actually really gives me wings. I run like a mad man in the streets and I keep turning left and right. I need to get out of the Loop! I need my puppy!!
Published on 22 Mar 2017
Next chapter is fairly small, so it should be available in 48 hours; with a bit more of Camden's past and some typical "Shannoneries".
The character section has been updated with pics of Gary & Jeremy in both I Would Give Him The Moon and Twisted Moon now ;)