|Sarah's P.O.V|
Niall took my left hand in his right, bowing down and then kissing it. His eye contact never left mine, all I could do was smile. The gentleman Niall has become still amazes me. When we were kids he was the rudest boy alive, now he's completely opposite. My hand still in Niall's, he led me out into the dancing area where couples danced freely to the music. I love when people danced with no care in the world, for some reason it comforted me.
The song that was on was a One Direction song. I knew it was, but I didn't want to say anything to ruin the moment.
"So, are you going to break out your Irish jig for me?" I couldn't help but ask, chuckling in the process. Niall smiled down at me, taking an arm around my waist. I did the same thing, but my arms fell around his neck loosely. Both of us were centimeters apart, moving step by step slowly. My eyes stayed intact with his crystal blue ones, the eyes that could mesmerize me in seconds. They've always have even if I didn't want to admit it years ago.
"I'll only do the Irish jig if you do it with me." He winked, taking one of my hands in his so he could spin me around. I found myself twirling in seconds, a small grin forming upon my lips as my body collied back to his. Niall's perfect teeth flashed at me. I've had braces as well, but I don't know how Niall keeps his so pearly white.
"Well, maybe we'll have to have a competition." I'm thinking this party which is set in Ireland will have to play a good ole Irish song. If not this is not a true Irish party. Plus, I was really good at doing the jig. Maybe I wasn't as good as Niall, but I am a close second.
"Maybe we shall Miss. O'Rielly." Niall twirled me out a again, corralling me back up into his chest. As my back rested against his chest, the song ended and in seconds another song was on. This one again by One Direction. Does this DJ have anything better else to play? Don't get me wrong, One Direction has pretty good songs, but I want some songs that I know and enjoy.
This song was a little more up beat, I think it was called No Control. Aspen used to play it all the time before we came on this trip with them. If I can recall right, No Control was even her alarm tone. Very shortly as this song started to get into the chorus, Niall and I let go of each other so we called dance crazily like everyone else.
I'm not one to opening dance like a maniac, but watching Niall do this weird dance to the chorus made me laugh so hard. After watching him do it, I realized more people were doing it along with him. Studying what they were doing, it looked so familiar...
"That's the dance from Carpool Karaoke with James!" I yelled so he could hear me. Niall nodded with a smile, but at the same time he looked at me curiously. Rolling my eyes in the process, I came closer to him, not wanting to admit how I knew what I said.
"Aspen, she had to watch the Carpool Karaoke while I was in the room." It was true and I'll only admit this to myself... I enjoyed it. The song slowly began to stop to an end and again, ANOTHER One Direction song came on.
"What is it with all these 1D songs? I'm sick of it." Niall joked while rolling his eyes at me. It was quite cute and funny so I laughed. One of the best qualities about Niall is that he knows how to make someone laugh. Listening to the new song, the bass in the background was starting and I knew once again what song it was. But this time I didn't say anything, only let Niall take my hand.
Shooting him a smile, I noticed he looked different than before. He didn't look like his normal happy/crazy self. To me he looked more serious. The last thing I wanted to ask was 'what's wrong?' So I decided to comment on the songs of his band.
"These songs are deep."
He spun me around once before bringing me close to his chest, our faces barely touching. This caught me off guard, and for a second I was breathless against his chest. My eyes found their way onto his lips, but I was too stunned to move in.
"Only because they're about you."
And before I could say anything back he twirled me around again, leaving me clueless. My heart was racing and I couldn't get his words out of my head as he let go of me. Leaving the both of us standing there, and I knew he wanted me to listen to the lyrics so I did.
"Counted my mistakes and there's only one,
Standing out from the list of the things I've done, All the rest of my crimes don't come close, To the look on your face when I let you go," It wasn't clicking in my head right away, but once the chorus came around my stomach was fluttering. "Now I'm searching every lonely place, every corner calling out your name, trying to find you but I just don't know, where do broken hearts go," I didn't know how to show my feelings. Honestly I didn't know what to say. Niall wrote a song about me and it accurately describes our situation... making the feelings Niall had more visible.
Opening my mouth, trying to find words, I closed it. There was nothing I could say. Looking at Niall, his face was redder than usual, a the blank face he had was turning into a small smile. He took a step closer to me, reaching out his hand to mine. I looked down, study his hand for a little while. My mind was racing, and my heart was about to explode. The next move I was about to make could change everything. But it would be the only way I could show Niall my feelings for this song.
Looking back up at him, I felt a smile start to form on my lips. Before reconsidering anything, I slowly leaned myself toward Niall, pushing my lips onto his.
|Niall's P.O.V|
Sarah's face formed into a smile. A smile that I love to see because when she smiles, my day is made. Her smile literally lights up a whole room, everything about her lights up a whole room.
About to smile bigger back, I was cut off by the girl I've loved the most lips on mine. I was caught off guard, my eyes widened and my body stiffened up. The last thing I wanted was for Sarah to get the wrong idea- that I didn't want to kiss her back. Of course I did, I was just flabbergasted. As my body slowly relaxed down, my hands found their way to her cheeks, where I pulled her in more. Her small body pressed against mine, our lips moving ever so slowly making the kiss even more passionate. I've kissed Sarah before, but never like this. I've never felt this nervous/excited/happy in my life.
I'm kissing the girl of my dreams.
After a few seconds, Sarah pulled back, resting her head against my chin. Catching my breath, I placed my lips upon her forehead. I wanted her to know I wanted more of this relationship we had going. I wanted to be more than just 'close friends.' But the thing is, I don't know if she wants it. She has college, and I have to finish touring. We both have different opportunities. Our lifestyle of living is not compatible.
But I want her, damn do I want her.
"I forgot how amazing it was to kiss you." Sarah whispered, hugging me tighter. We stood still in the middle of the dance floor as everyone slow danced around us. Finally a non One Direction song was on.
Listening to her admit that made my stomach drop. The smile on my face was impossible to hide. This moment right here was the turning point for us. And I really hope it's for the good.
"Tell me about it." I breathed out loudly, resting my chin on her head. My eyes we glued on Aspen's who was freaking out from the side. Jack from All Time Low was giving me the thumbs up as well. They must of seen us kiss.
"I want this moment to last Niall. I really do." Her voice sounded scared, nervous kind of. Why would she be nervous? I'm not going anywhere until she moves out of my arms.
"I'm not going anywhere Sarah." I reassured, squeezing her fragile body a little tighter. If I could, I would hug her as tight as possible, but I don't want to hurt her. We stood there in each other's arms for a little bit longer until she began to pull away, looking straight up at me. Some tears were in her eyes and my heart slowly fell into the pit of my stomach. Why the hell is she crying?
Giving her a concerned look, I cocked my head to the side, hoping she would explain. Thankfully she did.
"Everything is going so well and I don't want reality to get in the way. Something bad is going to happen. I can just feel it Niall." A small tear slowly rolled down her cheek, but I whipped it away before it could fall off her face. My stomach started to hurt, seeing her like this made me feel terrible.
"Don't say that. I'm not going to let anything bad happen. We got each other, I'm never going to leave you." It was true. I've been looking for her for so long, wanting to make everything better. Now that I finally got the chance, I'm not going to waste it.
But the look on her face said otherwise. I've known Sarah my whole life. Even if we weren't the best of friends, I could tell exactly what she was feeling. I knew exactly how she is. When things get rough- she runs away. When things might not work out- she runs away. When she doesn't want to get hurt- she runs away. Sarah hates facing her problems and she hates getting hurt. I could see all the doubts running through her head that had to deal with me. She's a hard one to understand, especially the way she acts.
She's scared of commitment and she's scared to face reality. Sarah might even be scared of me. It's hard to get Sarah to let someone in. Everything she's been through has scared her. Her dad passing, Logan being on her tail 24/7, me being an ass to her, Chad cheating on her, and Violet- her old best friend leaving her for her boyfriend. Everyone she's loved at one point has made a hard impact on her life. To trust and forgive is difficult for her, and I might be the only one that understands. I might be the only one that knows the truth about Sarah even if she doesn't know it as well. She's confusing, and complicated, and hard to love, but that makes me love her more. That makes me want to be with her even more.
But she's still scared.
She's still scared of me.
Sarah decided the next day that she'd stay with her mom while the rest of us continued to tour. Aspen made it extremely clear that if Sarah was staying that she was also... but Sarah being the complicated person she is told Aspen to go. To live out her dream, the dream that wasn't what Sarah wanted.
Aspen didn't understand why Sarah was being like this. She even told me she thought everything was perfect, but I told her it was just Sarah being Sarah. I cried that night on the plane, not being able to hold in all my emotions.
The last thing Sarah told me was, 'We want to think we are perfect for each other, but in reality we are deadly to one another.' I begged to differ, but arguing with a stubborn girl like Sarah is impossible.
She also explained to me how different our lives are which I completely understand. But what she didn't understand is that I'd be ready to enjoy a life with her. I finally got the girl and I was ready to make her the happiest woman alive.
But she denied me. She told me we both wanted different things and the two of us would never work out.
"It didn't work the first time Niall. Will it really work the second time around?"
I thought it hurt the first time, but getting so close to what you want then getting it torn our of your hands sucks. It sucks and all I want to do is fight even harder. Fight harder for the girl I've been in love with my whole life. Sarah wants it as bad as I do, but she won't admit it. She will one day, and that day will be the day I never let her go.
*
Standing in front of a million girls with posters and happy faces usually makes me feel ecstatic. But tonight, it was different. It was hard for me to smile, but I'd do it once and away so I didn't look like a bump in a log. The last thing I needed was for fans to be suspicious.
The boys, Aspen, Lou, and Lottie all knew about the Sarah situation. Like always they were really supportive and tried to comfort me and give me advice. It was nice, but they didn't know Sarah like I did. They didn't know how she could act sometimes. Aspen knew also, but even this time she didn't understand why Sarah was being like this.
Aspen knows I would never hurt her again, but I guess Sarah might still think I will. Which I never would, but Sarah has a hard time letting people in. Especially since I've hurt her once before.
Walking around stage, reading a couple signs, I knew the next song was going to be rough. Trying to sing Where Do Broken Hearts Go at a time like this wasn't going to be ideal. Usually this song would give me a handful of different emotions, but today I might cry.
"Now, this song is one of my best friends favorite songs," Harry's voice echoed through the arena. Fans screaming on the top of their lungs because of Harry's voice. "So, please make it memorable for him." The soft smile on Harry's face comforted me. I could get through this.
You can do this Niall.
Strumming my guitar once, thousands of screams where thrown at me. The second time I strummed It, more screams.
Here it goes...
Do it for your fans Niall...
Do it for Sarah.
"Counted my mistakes and there's only one..."
*
|Sarah's P.O.V|
My head rested on my sisters shoulder as we watched Mean Girls. Regina George reminded me of Ava back in school. I've seen this movie about one hundred times and this has been the only time I've never laughed.
Thinking about Niall is the only thing I can think about. What I've done is the stupidest thing I've could have done. According to my heart at least. According to my head, it's the smartest thing I've could have done. Both of us would of went back to our normal lives. Myself- looking for a job as a teacher. Niall- doing whatever the hell he wants if he decides about going on tour next year. Who in their right mind would want to settle down with a girl like me when they could have anyone they want? Sure Niall and I would be just fine, but there would be that one day where he would be gone for months while I'm stuck in a small town at a small school teaching fifteen kids about Shakespeare. Throughout the day I'd be worrying if he's seen a drop dead model and got lured in.
Then he'd come back- act like everything's fine and then leave the next day. That's not the life I want to live with my famous boyfriend. Niall and I have completely different morals. Maybe the only thing we have in common is the love for each other.
But god do I want him, I want him so bad. I've fallen to hard- too quick. I trust Niall, I do, but he's broken my heart once. And the pain I felt then, was a pain I never want to feel again.
He's fixed me up again, but Niall could break me down with the snap of his fingers.
-Authors Note-
I'm publishing an authors note after this... so please read man.
Please vote and comment also!
Love love love,
•Kiley