*
"What are you thinking about?" Baekhyun asks in a soft voice as he turns to Chanyeol who hasn't said anything the moment he spilled his decision.
They're at a public park sitting on a wooden bench for two. Chanyeol has his legs crossed nonchalantly, while Baekhyun has his hands folded on his lap, looking down at the ground.
"I guess I'm asking you too much, aren't I?" Baekhyun mutters, "I'm sorry, Chanyeol-sunbae, for hesitating like this. You know I'd do anything for you, but Sehun is also important to me and I can't just suddenly leave him alone."
Chanyeol uncrosses his legs and removes his hands from his pockets before facing Baekhyun beside him.
Silence fills the two of them until Chanyeol speaks.
"This is the second time that you did it," he says in a voice Baekhyun fears the most, "and it's all because of the same person."
Baekhyun never meets his eyes, they were turning into a shade of amber and it makes his heart ache.
"You just indirectly told me that you are choosing that person for now," Chanyeol continues. "And after that, you're going to come to me after graduation, when you'd both have your separate lives."
He chuckles bitterly.
"Bullshit. Come to understand that I shouldn't be one of your choices."
That pierces right into Baekhyun's heart.
"I should be your only choice," Chanyeol says. "Tell me, have you been seeing me because I satisfy your lust?"
Baekhyun shakes his head furiously but he doesn't speak. He knows he isn't allowed to talk back yet.
"I don't exactly know what's with that person that you keep on choosing him over someone that already owns you," Chanyeol says as he gives Baekhyun a downcast glare, "If you truly have the love you've been blabbering about, you won't hesitate and just come to me when I tell you."
"I-I love you," Baekhyun says, his voice shaking, "I really do..."
"You love me?" Chanyeol asks, "Or you just love my cock?"
Baekhyun's eyes widen, shaking his head again. He presses his lips into a thin line, holding himself back.
"Speak."
"I-I will do anything for you even if you don't fuck me. I can bear with it and I can stand it," Baekhyun mutters, "I want to stay with you because I love you..."
Chanyeol knows Baekhyun all too well, he has memorized his body, all the more his body language and the way he speaks.
But a part of him doesn't want to trust him. There's a part of him that is wanting to keep distance.
"Maybe you have the same reason why I kept you by my side before. I loved fucking you because you were my slut," Chanyeol says, "Now you're turning the tables, aren't you? You're really a slut."
"No! I'm not lying... I'm not thinking that way!" Baekhyun defends. "I'm not turning the tables. I'm not... I'm not a slut..."
"You can't play that way, Byun Baekhyun," Chanyeol threats, "You can't cheat on me like that."
"I'm not cheating on you," Baekhyun says, "Sehun is my long-time friend. He's a family... I don't love him like how I.... Like how I adore you."
"How can I be so sure that you're telling the truth," Chanyeol asks, "when in the first place you just rejected my offer so you could stay with him longer?"
Baekhyun is left speechless.
"Did you ever think about my situation?"
Baekhyun looks at the ground as he restrains himself to cry, but he is having a hard time.
"Did you ever think that I've been alone for a long time?"
A tear has fallen from Baekhyun's eyes, and he quickly wipes it with his hand.
"You only fucking care about yourself," Chanyeol says, "You took me for granted just because you know I felt something for you."
"It's nothing like that, Chanyeol-sunbae," Baekhyun replies as he sobs his heart out, "I'll change my mind and I'll leave him for you," He catches for his breath. "I-I want to be with you and I want to stay with you right now. If that's what you want, I will pack my things and go to you---"
"You don't have to."
Baekhyun freezes.
"I want you without any hesitation, and if you can't do that," Chanyeol says, "then I don't need someone like you in my life."
Baekhyun feels his body trembling and his heart breaking into pieces when Chanyeol stands up. His eyes widen in surprise, quickly holding onto Chanyeol's arm with both of his hands. He looks up to him with eyes begging as he says:
"Ch-chanyeol-sunbae, don't do this to me, please... Look at me... Please..."
Chanyeol yanks Baekhyun's hand off his arm.
"Don't show your face in front of me again."
The last thing Baekhyun remembers is Chanyeol's disappearing figure before everything goes black.
*
"Hey, wake up..."
" . . ."
"You think he's okay?"
"I don't know. Just shake him lightly."
"Wake... Up.... Sehun..."
"He's still not opening his eyes, though."
"Can I slap his face?"
"No. That would hurt."
"Hey! Wake up!"
Slap!
"I said don't slap his face, goddamnit."
"Wake the fuck up. Are you dead?"
"He's not dead. He just fainted, I think."
Sehun hears familiar voices around him.
"Shit, I think he's waking up! Hey, can you hear us?"
"Sehun! Oh Sehun!"
Slowly, he opens his eyes as he tries to get up, but a hand suddenly shoves him back to reclining position on the couch. Someone's blurry face gets into view, and he is too close he can smell his perfume. There is also someone behind him watching while his arms are folded against his chest.
What just happened? Who are these people?
"Is he awake?" Kyungsoo asks, entering the living room after toeing off his shoes. He went to the pharmacy to buy some medicine.
"Yeah," Jongin says, stifling to laugh, "Luhan slapped his face to wake him up."
"All thanks to me."
"What are you doing here?" Sehun asks weakly after he comes back to his senses, touching his slapped cheek. He sees Jongin, Luhan, and Kyungsoo inside his apartment who are looking at him worriedly. "W-what happened?"
"I should be the one asking you that," Jongin says as he sighs, "We found you completely knocked out on the floor. Seems like you fainted."
"We came to see Baekhyun but he wasn't here. We just saw you alone and unconscious so Jongin carried you to the couch," Luhan says, "Kyungsoo's about to call an ambulance."
Kyungsoo shrugs. "Maybe we should still take you to the hospital."
"Do you remember what happened?" Jongin asks.
The look on Baekhyun's face and their past conversation flash in Sehun's mind, as well as the shorter's figure running away ended by the loud closing of the door.
Baekhyun left.
He clutches his abdomen and feels a slight pang inside. His face twists in pain.
It still hurts.
"Are you okay?" Jongin asks, "Does your stomach hurt?"
Sehun nods. "I'm---"
"You're? What is it?"
"I'm hungry," Sehun mutters, "I haven't eaten anything since last night..."
Kyungsoo releases a sigh of relief. Jongin and Luhan just stares.
"Do I need to call an ambulance?"
"Thanks for your help but you don't have to do that," Sehun says, slightly getting up.
"Fine then," Kyungsoo says. "You're fucking lucky we found you. You said you're hungry, right?"
"Yes..."
"I'm gonna cook for you," Kyungsoo says, heading to the kitchen and rummaging into the refrigerator like he owns the house, "Do you mind?"
"No, it's fine," Sehun replies, looking over at the kitchen, "Thanks by the way."
"I'm hungry too! I'll help!" Jongin chirps, heading to the kitchen with his boyfriend.
Sehun sighs, going back to lying on the couch. He ignores the person watching him like a creep.
"Hey," Luhan calls. He has his palm resting under his chin as he leans on the backrest of the couch, looking down at Sehun. "Are you seriously all right?"
Sehun just stares.
"You look like you're hurting somewhere," Luhan says.
"Why. Are you concerned about me?"
"I'm just asking," Luhan scoffs, "Did you and Baekhyun get into a fight?"
Sehun looks away. "It's none of your business."
"Look at you. Why are you always like that towards me?" Luhan asks, pouting, "If I did something to you in the past, or said something that has hurt your feelings, can you just forget it?"
"I just don't feel like talking to you, that's it."
"You're friends with my boyfriends, and Baekhyun's also my friend, so can we not also be friends?" Luhan asks, "I just want to get closer to you. Nothing more."
"It's uncomfortable," Sehun answers, not looking at Luhan's eyes, "Let's just stay as acquaintances."
"You liked me before," Luhan says, "Is it because of that?"
"No."
Luhan rolls his eyes.
"Then why won't you become friends with me?"
"It's because," Sehun answers, "I don't want to get involved with someone like you."
Hearing that, Luhan is mildly taken aback.
"It's hard to understand you," Sehun says, "You're... different."
"What do you mean?"
"Will you tell me if I ask you?"
"Tell you what?"
"Did you really love all the men you had slept with?"
Luhan doesn't answer.
"Did you have romantic feelings for Baekhyun?"
Silence.
"Doesn't it bother you meddling between Jongin and Kyungsoo's life?"
Luhan keeps his lips tightly shut, smiling with no humor on his face. He clenches his fists in no particular reason.
"If you answer my questions truthfully, then I will be friends with you."
"Fuck," Luhan mutters, "How dare you say that to me, you son of a bitch."
Sehun hides the smirk growing on his mouth. Instead he just keeps quiet, and pretends he didn't see the obvious look of devastation on the older's face.
*
Baekhyun smells a familiar scent.
It smells like citrus, he whispers mentally, feeling a little lightheaded. He adjusts his dangling arms, holding carefully onto someone's firm neck and shoulders for support.
This place feels so comfortable he wants to sleep more.
Bump. Bump. Bump.
But why does it feel like I am moving?
Carefully, Baekhyun raises his head up and blinks his sleepy eyes. Looking around his surroundings, he realizes that he is lifted up above the ground, and moving like he is on a ride.
A piggyback ride.
Baekhyun opens his eyes.
He sees a mop of silver hair in front of his face, while he is being carried effortlessly on the back of someone who is tall and strong and smells like citrus.
Oh god. Baekhyun's whole face reddens. Why am I here!?
"Don't move a lot," a deep voice says, "I'm gonna throw you into the river if you fidget again."
Baekhyun tries his best to calm himself down, but his fast beating heart keeps on drumming and thumping and exploding inside his chest like it has its own life. He is definitely sure that Chanyeol could hear his loud heartbeat right now, because never in before he has ever thought that Chanyeol would carry him like this. He only sees it in TV though.
"I said don't move a lot."
"I'm sorry..."
Baekhyun smiles silently.
So this is how it feels like. It feels like you are the princess, or the lead star in a movie, where the lead male would carry you on his back, so that you could feel his warmth against your body like this. It feels really nice, especially when Chanyeol is this close to him.
He doesn't want this moment to end.
They walk slowly by the bridge where Baekhyun can see a man-made river. He tightens his hug around Chanyeol's neck as he whispers:
"Chanyeol-sunbae?"
Baekhyun knows he is listening.
"What just happened to me? Why were you carrying me on your back?"
"You collapsed," Chanyeol says, "I was about to leave when I saw you passed out on the street."
"I did?" Baekhyun asks in shock.
"Yeah."
"So you picked me up and carried me?"
Chanyeol nods.
"Oh, I'm sorry for causing you trouble," Baekhyun mutters, "I promise it won't happen again..."
"What did you do anyway?" Chanyeol asks, slightly raising his voice, "I haven't just seen you for a week and you've turned out like this. Have you been eating properly?"
"Well, uhm. I ate pizza last night, and, and some chips..."
"Do you wanna get sick?" Chanyeol blurts back, "Fuck. I don't even know what to do with you..."
Baekhyun frowns.
"Did you really mean it?" he asks. "That you don't need me in your life anymore?"
Chanyeol keeps silent.
"Do you really want to end things between us?"
Chanyeol focuses his eyes on the road as he walks while piggyback-ing Baekhyun.
"I can't live without you," Baekhyun mutters softly, and he cannot see the change on Chanyeol's facial expression since he is on his back, "Even if you keep on hurting me and pushing me away, I will still stay with you. You know why?"
Chanyeol doesn't answer.
"Because I'm yours, Chanyeol."
Chanyeol hears his name.
And his eyes suddenly turned brown.
"I'm sorry if I've become selfish. I'm sorry if I didn't think about you. Now I know why you asked me to live with you."
Chanyeol stops walking, so Baekhyun leans in and whispers on his ear:
"You were lonely, right?"
He then gently touches Chanyeol's face with his hand, and doesn't say anything. He just lets it there until the other male finally turns his head to have a look on his peaceful face. Chanyeol stares right into his expressive eyes, before he answers:
"Will you make me happy?"
Baekhyun can clearly see the longingness in his gaze, and he knows that he has just touched a part of him he hasn't reached before.
And he is quite glad Chanyeol has been opening up to him a little bit.
Even just a little bit.
"You just asked me to make you happy," Baekhyun replies. "Does that mean I am still yours, Chanyeol-sunbae?"
Chanyeol tiny smiles to himself as he continues walking, securing Baekhyun's thighs wrapped around his back.
"Does that mean," Baekhyun mumbles, "we're still dating?"
"I don't know what the hell you're talking about."
"You still want me by your side, don't you?" Baekhyun asks teasingly, rocking Chanyeol as if he were riding a horse, "Admit it!"
Chanyeol keeps his face straight.
"Admit what?"
"That I am your happiness!"
Chanyeol tries not to puke.
"Don't speak ridiculous things."
"Says the guy who just said he thought of me twice," Baekhyun says giggling, "Always and Everyday?"
"Will you just shut the fuck up?"
Baekhyun laughs.
"How about I dress up as a girl while you bend me over," he asks, diverting the topic away, "Will that make you happy?"
"W-what?"
"Oh, oh, oh! How about you fuck me in your car or over the kitchen counter," Baekhyun suggests, "Will that make you happy?"
"Baekhyun, stop..."
"What if I serve myself for you in breakfast," Baekhyun says, "Will that make you happy?"
"I said stop."
Baekhyun stops.
"Sunbae," Baekhyun calls, "Did I say.... something wrong?"
Chanyeol sighs.
"Sometimes, you're really naive, aren't you," he says as he looks left to right before crossing the street, amidst the cars and buses honking, "I thought you could already read my mind."
"What did you say?"
"Nothing," Chanyeol says to brush the topic off, "I said you're heavy."
"I'm not heavy though," Baekhyun mumbles, resting his chin against the crook of Chanyeol's neck. He nuzzles his nose against his clothes as he pouts.
A few more comfortable walks and they reach the intersection parting the ways between Chanyeol's house and Baekhyun's apartment. Baekhyun waits for a brief moment, feeling as though it was an eternity.
"Do you wanna go home?" Chanyeol asks, and his voice blends in with the stillness of the afternoon breeze.
"How about you," Baekhyun asks back, "Do you want.... to go home?"
"I'll take you home."
Without another word said, Chanyeol steps forward and chooses the path heading towards Baekhyun's abode. He is carrying Baekhyun on his back securely, walking along on the same way he had said he would be taking for the last time.
For a moment there he admits, he has just swallowed a tad part of his high-rise pride, and it has surprisingly hurt his strong ego. He knows he could just put Baekhyun down right now, let him go home by himself, and never give a fuck about him anymore.
But he hesitates.
And instead follows that tiny part of him that is wanting to hold him this near, as if he was afraid he would not come back to his arms.
Throughout the walk Baekhyun is silent, only holding on to Chanyeol and allowing him to lead the way. He could have told him to put him down so he could walk by his own, but still he didn't.
Because he knows by the moment Chanyeol lets go of him.
It would be hard to come back.
"We're here," Chanyeol says.
"Thank you for taking me home."
Chanyeol stops right in front of Baekhyun's place, furrowing his eyebrows when he sees an utterly familiar car parked outside. He turns his head to Baekhyun and says:
"Why the fuck are they here?"
Baekhyun shakes his head quickly.
"I don't know!"
Chanyeol is about to speak up when an unmanly squeal cuts him off.
"Ah! What a lovely sight we got here!" Luhan says with his arms crossed, leaning against the wall outside. Jongin is beside him sporting a teasing smirk while Kyungsoo looks like he doesn't give a single fuck.
Baekhyun meets Sehun's eyes for a split second, but the latter, who is looking at him from the window, quickly tears his gaze away. Chanyeol carefully puts him down, as if he were as fragile as glass that must be taken care of.
"Looks like you two went on a date?" Jongin says in a coy tone. "How did it go?"
"We didn't go on a---"
"Fun," Chanyeol butts in.
Baekhyun blushes.
"Did you bring your car?" Kyungsoo, who is already inside the car at the driver's seat, asks Chanyeol. Luhan and Jongin gets in the car as well.
"We'll take you home," Luhan says, offering Chanyeol a ride.
Chanyeol just nods.
"Go inside, it's getting late," he says, patting Baekhyun's head and everybody stares there in shock.
What surprises them the most is when Chanyeol bends down to kiss Baekhyun on the cheek.
Everybody has seen them fucking hard, making out furiously, banging on everywhere at the student council room, but never in before they have witnessed in their entire lives the former President kissing Baekhyun on the cheek.
They stare at Chanyeol, totally dumbfounded.
"What the fuck."
"What the hell was that?"
"Are you sick?"
"Is that even real?"
"That was fucking cheesy."
Baekhyun flushes even more in utmost embarrassment, so he just runs as fast as he can inside the apartment to hide himself. Chanyeol's eyes follow him until he is gone, before turning to Luhan, Jongin, and Kyungsoo inside the car.
"What," Chanyeol states, "Don't you dare fucking stare at me like that."
They all look away, pretending they didn't hear anything from him.
"Fuck all of you."
*
To be continued.