Time to learn about deepest secrets of the Rogue 6, Krennic, Lyra, Galen, and more! Includes non-canon secrets but HEY! Who cares? Fanfiction!
I don't own anything.
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Steela Gererra: WELCOME TO ANOTHER ROUND OF THE ROGUE ONE GAME SHOW!!!
Steela Gererra: I'm your host, the sexy Steela Gererra, and today's game theme is bottom-of-the-pit hole secrets!
Steela Gererra: The rules are simple. Competitors will be challenged to tell their deepest secrets based off the category provided. Each round will be judged by me and the people that provide me the worst answers or no reasoning behind their choice are kicked out of the game AND the chatroom!
Steela Gererra: Here are the list of the contestants!
Jyn Erso (duh)
Orson Krennic (duh again)
K-2SO
Cassian Andor
Baze Malbus
Chirrut Îmwe
Armitage Hux
Galen Erso
Lyra Erso
Saw Gererra
Eren Jaëger
Ezra Bridger
Whiny Luke Skywalker
Darth Vader
Wilhuff Tarkin
And Bodhi Rook!
Steela Gererra: Let's get started!
Steela Gererra: 1. Pick one person in the room to kill and why.
Wilhuff Tarkin: Galen! He stole Orson!
Galen Erso: Tarkin! Because he's trying to take Orson!
Lyra Erso: Krennic. Because he took Galen.
K-2SO: Jyn. Because she's a pain in the neck
Cassian Andor: Krennic. Now he can't take Jyn
Bodhi Rook: Jyn. CASSIAN IS MINE *****
Jyn Erso: in that case BODHI!! JASSIAN IS LIFE
Armitage Hux: me kilz Eren. Coz he aint Star Wars
Chirrut Îmwe: I would kill Darth Vader cuz why not
Darth Vader: I would want to kill everyone but I guess I have to choose. Wilhuff
Wilhuff Tarkin: HOW DARE YOU
Whiny Luke Skywalker: I WANNA KILL DARTH CUZ HE CHOPPED OFF MY HAND
Darth Vader: ...
Orson Krennic: I'm gonna kill Ezra. I don't like him.
Ezra Bridger: I'll kill Darth Vader. BECAUSE FFFF HE TRIED TO HURT EREN
Darth Vader: Dude I just choked him
Ezra Bridger: U ALSO HURT MY SPACE FAMILY AND AHSOKA AND MY BOYFRIEND
Eren Jaëger: I kill all the TITANS!! Oh wait. Just Star Wars people in this room? Fine. I kill Armitage
Armitage Hux: Y
Eren Jaëger: BECUZ UR BREAKING THE TIMELINE
Armitage Hux: U R too!
Eren Jaëger: How Long long ago is this galaxy?!
Ezra Bridger: Idk
Baze Malbus: I choose K-2SO. He's annoying
K-2SO: ...
Saw Gererra: I WILL KILL KRENNIC AND SAVE THE REBELLION AND THE DREAM!!
Orson Krennic: Why does everyone hate me... -_-
Steela Gererra: Okay! The two that have been cut are... Chirrut (because that was a terrible answer) and Eren (because he's not Star Wars)
[Steela Gererra has kicked Eren Jaëger and Chirrut Îmwe from the group chat]
Baze Malbus: NUUUU
Ezra Bridger: NOOOO NOT MY BOYFRIEND SKFKWLJWBFVAKADN
Steela Gererra: 2. A stupid thing you did as a child?
Cassian Andor: I really didn't have a childhood...
K-2SO: Me neither!
Whiny Luke Skywalker: I blew up a power converter and the house
Darth Vader: I said "No one can kill a Jedi." BOY was I wrong
Wilhuff Tarkin: I broke my wrist on purpose to get attention
Orson Krennic: Wow that is stupid.
Orson Krennic: I brought some Lego blocks to school and would play with them instead of paying attention.
Bodhi Rook: I went drinking with some friends. I was 9.
Orson Krennic: No wonder why you grew up so weird
Cassian Andor: WTREEK KRENNIC *pubches Krennic in the face*
Orson Krennic: *punches Cassian in the face*
Cassian Andor: *punches Krennic in the stomach*
Orson Krennic: *kills Cassian then revives him and makes his mindset only focused on Pilot²*
K-2SO: Yasssssss
Saw Gererra: I didn't know how to tie my shoe at the age of 10
Armitage Hux: I ain't no child yet. Me not 2 yet
Lyra Erso: I tried to swallow a banana whole. I had to get serious medical care.
Galen Erso: I cried a lot. Idk why
Orson Krennic: Aw that's adorable.
Jyn Erso: Yeah Papa cry for Krennic
Jyn Erso: I had a pet rock and I taught it to do flips
Armitage Hux: Fam dat dum
Baze Malbus: I had a stuffed whale. I used to drag it around everywhere until I was 12. Then I lost it and cried for two days straight
Lyra Erso: That is actually adorable, Baze.
Wilhuff Tarkin: Is that everyone?
Steela Gererra: No we have Ezra left
Bodhi Rook: Spill it Ez. Wts ur secret
Ezra Bridger: I tried to masturbate when I was 5 and my parents caught me
Everyone: WTF THIS BOOK IS SUPPOSED TO BE RATED PG
Saw Gererra: Actually I think it kind of lost that rating a while ago
Steela Gererra: MOVING ON! The two kicked out are Baze and Galen because their stories were cute not stupid
[Steela Gererra has kicked Baze Malbus and Galen Erso from the group chat]
Orson Krennic: STEELA!! GALEN CRYING IS SO PRECIOUS!! WHAT THE ACTUAL DEATH STAR!!!
Lyra Erso: THE WHALE STORY WAS ADORABLE!!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Wilhuff Tarkin: You shoulda kicked Cassian and Armitage since they didn't really answer the question
Steela Gererra: 3. If you had to be shipped with ONE person left in the chat, who would it be?
Wilhuff Tarkin: KRENNIC
Bodhi Rook: CASSIAN
Jyn Erso: CASSIAN
Orson Krennic: Jyn!
Ezra Bridger: K2. Cuz he's cool
K-2SO: :)
K-2SO: Jyn
Saw Gererra: Lyra
Lyra Erso: ...
Darth Vader: I guess Tarkin
Cassian Andor: Do I have to choose?
Steela Gererra: Yes
Armitage Hux: Bodhi cuz hes cinamon roll and me hungy
Bodhi Rook:
Lyra Erso: Krennic
Orson Krennic: First you want to kill me now you want to marry me?!?
Lyra Erso: Galen's not here. ;););)
Whiny Luke Skywalker: K-2SO
K-2SO: I'm feeling very loved :)
Whiny Luke Skywalker: Because then I can use his parts for power converters
K-2SO: :( ur name should have been power converter Luke
Bodhi Rook: Well Cassian?
Jyn Erso: What do you choose?
Cassian Andor: ...
Cassian Andor: I don't wanna choose
Orson Krennic: Too bad
Cassian Andor:
Bodhi Rook: (choose me)
Jyn Erso: (no me)
Cassian Andor: DARTH VADER!!
Orson Krennic: *facepalm*
Jyn Erso: Why didn't you choose me?
Cassian Andor: Because I was conflicted between you and Bodhi
Jyn Erso: WE ARE FFING MARRIED
Bodhi Rook: too bad 😜
Steela Gererra: And the kicked ones are... Saw, Ezra, Hux and Luke! Because no one voted for them
[Steela Gererra has kicked Saw Gererra, Whiny Luke Skywalker, Ezra Bridger, and Armitage Hux from the group chat]
Darth Vader: Finally! Luke is gone. Do u kno how ANNOYING children are?!?
Orson Krennic: Yes, I do.
Lyra Erso: Trust me.
Jyn Erso and Astri Krennic: HEY!!!
[Steela Gererra has kicked Astri Krennic from the group chat]
Steela Gererra: Next Question! 4. Favorite thing to do if you had the entire base or house to yourself?
Jyn Erso: Party like its 1999
Darth Vader: Probably dance to my favorite songs
Bodhi Rook: Practice my marriage vows in case Cassian ever comes back to me
Lyra Erso: Aww, that's so sweet Bodhi!
Bodhi Rook: I have a feeling u just set me up to be kicked out
Lyra Erso: Oh, okay. WOW BODHI!! THAT IS DUMB AS REEKSHITE!!
Bodhi Rook: *facepalm*
Orson Krennic: I'm not sure...
Darth Vader: I'll bet you'd invite Galen over and the make out with him
Orson Krennic: That does sound like something I'd do.
Lyra Erso: I'd play with all my black series, blue series, and 3.75 figures. I'd ship everyone and make the most unique romance story for each one.
Bodhi Rook: Wow Lyra that's cool
K-2SO: I'd practice my stand up comedy
Cassian Andor: You do that around me
Cassian Andor: I'd probably do karaoke
Jyn Erso: I've never heard you sing unless it's a group thing
Cassian Andor: I usually don't like to sing alone
Wilhuff Tarkin: I'd sit in Palpy's chair and imagine Orson next to me
Orson Krennic:
Steela Gererra: Alright! And the losers are...Orson Krennic (cuz that's not something interesting) and K-2SO (because he practices it all the time)
[Steela Gererra has kicked Orson Krennic and K-2SO from the group chat]
Steela Gererra: 5. Why did you really go to see Rogue One?
Jyn Erso: Because I wanted to see the movie. And it starred me. Duh
Lyra Erso: I wanted to see me but then I DIED WITHIN THE FIRST TEN MINUTES!!!
Wilhuff Tarkin: To see Orson on the big screen. Oh and I guess me.
Darth Vader: To see me
Bodhi Rook: To see if there was any chemistry between me and Cassian
Cassian Andor: For the popcorn
Steela Gererra: Well Cassian's staying for the next round. Sorry Darth and Lyra but you guys are out
[Steela Gererra has kicked Darth Vader and Lyra Erso from the group chat]
Cassian Andor: And then there were 4
Steela Gererra: 6. Best moment of your life so far?
Bodhi Rook: Easy! When Cassian proposed to me
Jyn Erso: HE DID WHAT
Jyn Erso: CASSIAN
Cassian Andor: BODHI UR LYING!!
Bodhi Rook: No I'm not!
Cassian Andor: Yeah you are!
Bodhi Rook: :'(
Wilhuff Tarkin: I feel ya Rook
Jyn Erso: My answer would be when Cassian took me on a date
Wilhuff Tarkin: I'll bet u two were on ur phones the whole time
Jyn Erso: Pretty much
Bodhi Rook: Some date that is
Jyn Erso: Why thank you
Wilhuff Tarkin: My favorite moment was when I dreamed Orson and I were married
Cassian Andor: Mine was when I made K2
Steela Gererra: That's ANDORable but not Steela worthy Wilhuff and Cass
[Steela Gererra has kicked Wilhuff Tarkin and Cassian Andor from the group chat]
Steela Gererra: Well I had a different question plans but since u two are left: 7. Why do you love Cassian?
Jyn Erso: He's freezing hot like how can you not? He's got the best personality and his accent? *SWOON* And he is simply one hell of a kisser!
Bodhi Rook: Because he's always been very kind to me and in return for his kindness I want to be there by his side when he needs me.
Steela Gererra: Cute but no
[Steela Gererra has kicked Bodhi Rook from the group chat]
Steela Gererra: JYN WINS!!
Jyn Erso: WOO HOO
[Jyn Erso has texted in 'MY MAMA HELPED BLOW UP THE DEATH STAR!!']
Jyn Erso: GUYS I won!
Metal: Great! You're just in time for a Woukd you Rather round?
Jyn Erso: WHAT THE ACTUAL DEATH STAR NO I HAD PLANS TO MAKE OUT WITH CASSIAN
Cassian Andor: ;););)
Bodhi Rook: Hello darkness my old friend...
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