I may say Regina is moving too fast, but who am I to say.... I've fallen completely in love with a man that I only been dating for five months- we basically live together and some people may consider us as a little family. The only thing missing from the equation is a ring- a material that may seem like nothing, but it actually means a lot on the certain little finger.
I was having marriage fever....
For the past week I've been helping out Danielle, making sure our mother doesn't choke her out with demands and also making sure she has everything she wanted for her wedding. In top of that, I've been debating if I should attend Regina's wedding- which is tomorrow morning. I had thoughts of getting married once again, it's been awhile since I had those thoughts- more like a decade ago.
I felt like a teenager when thinking about this stuff. Truth be told, when I think of marriage it makes me cringe now. Justin and I did not have a good marriage, even though we've been together for ten years and married for six- we were always isolating ourselves with work and business trips. Soon the isolation made Justin turn to adultery and I
to wine. I was basically a stereotyped housewife, minus the children.
I'm afraid that would happen to Aaron and I, even though we learn something new about each other mostly everyday, but soon all that learning will die down. I just don't want a horrible marriage and become on of those women that get married over and over again.
"...Skyler!" Danielle waved her hand in front of my face while screaming out my name, causing a few people in the fancy restaurant to stare at us as if we were crazy. "Are you listening to me?"
"No," I told her straight up before sipping on my margarita, even though it's ten in the morning.
"Obviously not. What's on your mind?" She asked while sipping on her water.
"Nothing."
"You're drinking at ten in the morning and staring off into space. Either your drunk or worried about something."
"It's nothing. What cake did you like the most? I believe the vanilla cake was good with lemon frosting, but the red velvet would match your color scheme." I set my drink down before giving Danielle my full attention.
Danielle slowly rolled her eyes before saying, "Don't change the subject. Tell me, tell your sis."
"Danielle, how long have you and Dave been dating before he popped the question?"
Her lips tugged into a smile when she heard Dave's name. "For about a year and nine months. We were kinda off and on. Why?"
"I- Let's not-"
"Sky, come on." She nudged my hand that was flat in the table. "Tell me, I'm dying from the mystery."
"Okay, fine." I huffed while slowly rolling my eyes. "I'm having marriage fever- there I said it."
"What? Omg Sky, that's awesome."
"No," I shook my head in disagreement. "It's not actually. Let's not talk about it."
"I understand, we've all been through it. So you want Aaron to put a ring on it? That so-"
"Danielle please," I cut her off before she could start questioning.
She rolled her eyes once again and sighed heavily. "But answer this, do you really love him? Not like affection love, but emotional. You want to talk to him all night or just be by his side love."
I did not hesitate to answer by nodding my head yes and grinning like a fat boy who found a chocolate bar in his pocket. "Of course. I mean, I may be moving to fast but I believe Aaron is the one. I'm trying not to compare, but Aaron is way better than Justin in everything. He loves me for me and I love him for him. Aaron even loves my kinky hair, the people I dated never liked my natural hair." Not even Regina, she'll give me this look every time I leave my hair out and kinky....
Danielle smiled even more, "Aw that's so sweet. Oh my gosh, we should have a double date- Friday night."
"Um well..."
"Come on Sky, I want to actually sit and talk to Aaron. You know, interview him to see if he's right for my big sis."
"Okay...Yeah sure." Danielle being around Aaron was no big deal to me, even though she did some things in the past that would someone question about my decision lately. The past is the past and I plan to keep it that way. Although Danielle and I still have to glue back our relationship, I trust Aaron to be loyal and respectful.
Danielle smiled became brighter than a star, she squealed like a happy bride and jumped up and down in her seat. "Yes, can't wait to tell Dave."
I took of my drink once again, but this time I finished it. "Yeah let's get back to this cake. I really do think the red velvet would fit in with white icing-" The vibrating of my phone immediately cut me off before I could imagine the delicious cake that I'm craving now. I fished out my phone to see Aaron's sexy face on my screen and the cute little nickname I gave him- Babe...as in the pig, since his favorite animal used to be a pig when he was younger. Probably still is.
"Speaking of the devil... Go ahead answer it." Danielle waved her hand nonchalantly. "Probably important."
I nod my head in agreement bed scurrying out the restaurant with my phone up to my ear. "Hey babe, what's up?"
"Are you still with Danielle?" He asked with a serious tone that made me frown instead of smile.
"Um yeah. What's going on?"
Aaron huffed out before saying, "I need your help, how fast can you get to my apartment?"
My eyes wandered around the area I'm in, which was Manhattan. Luckily I was only twenty minutes away if I took a cab- of course I will. "Give me thirty minutes. I'll be there."
"Good, can you bring some food too?"
"Food?" I questioned.
"Yeah, can you just bring some... Please."
"Okay I will. Anything else? A milk shake? Movies? Candles?" I teased which only made me receive silence on the other end of the line. "I guess you don't have time for jokes today."
"Come as fast as you can, Sky." With that he hung up on me. Whatever is happening must be really bothering him, Aaron never hangs up on me like that- he'll always give me a proper good bye.
I decided to shrug it off until I know what's actually going on. I went back inside with the same frown upon my face until I came upon our table. "What happened?" Danielle asked.
"Well, sorry Danielle but an emergency came up." I pulled out my wallet to take out thirty-five dollars, before setting it on the table. "This would pay for my meal, drink and a tip. I'll see you tomorrow and keep in mind about that cake." I leaned down to kiss her cheek in goodbye. I collected my belongs and speed walked my way out the restaurant to catch a cab.
➰
As fast as the taxi could go through the New York traffic and the long line in Mc'Donalds, I managed to get to Aaron's apartment just in time like I said. I knocked on his door after trying to catch my breath, considering my heart was racing with worry and when I ran up those four flights of stairs. I really do need to go back to the gym....
Aaron answered the door wide to show me his muscles that was defined by his Threadborne Siro work out shirt. On any other day I would drawl over him as if he was chocolate, but he called me because something was wrong- I don't have time to be a sex craved girlfriend. "I got here as fast as I can." I stated while holding my chest with one hand while my other held onto the small Mc and D's bag, as I panted for air. "Just give me a sec,"
Aaron didn't give me time to breath, actually he took my breath away by pulling me into a full on kiss that would lead on to something more, but he pulled away just in time. "Sorry I hanged up on you like that." He said against my lips.
"It's okay. Tell me what's wrong? What happened?" I whispered back.
Aaron did not say anything, he just pulled me inside to show me an older woman that most definitely have some of his features- his dark brown eyes, brown skin, curly hair and smile that she wore upon her face as if life was good at the moment.
She looked towards us, causing her smile to become bright as the sun. "Hello,"
"Hi?" It was more like a question then greeting. I turned to Aaron with a questionable look upon my face, "Is that your mother?"
He didn't answer and he didn't have to. Aaron's brows became slanted and jaw clenched in anger. "I need you to call a place for me. If I do it myself, I would just call a cab and kick her to the curb." He said with a nonchalant tone, but I knew he was angry.
I mean, if a woman that you use to call mother left you at the age of seven and decided to show up on your doorstep twenty-nine years later... I'll be pissed...
"When did she arrive?" I asked.
"Five minutes before I called you." Aaron walked towards the kitchen, which didn't make a difference because his apartment was basically a small loft with everything out in the open. I followed behind like a lost puppy, head full of questions that need answers.
"What this place? Is it a hotel? A home?"
"Rehabilitation center. She's high in crack right now." He pointed out.
I looked back towards her to see the signs of a good high. "How do you know she wants to go there?"
Aaron jaw clenched some more before he answered with the hard truth. "I really don't give a shit if she stays or not, I want her out of my site."
"Aaron-"
"Sky please," He cuts me off with a frown upon his face. "Just do this for me, please."
"At least talk to her Aaron, she probably wants to talk." I stated. "How did she find you anyway?"
"My aunt told her where I was." He mumbled.
I sighed heavily, "She came all this way. Talk to her." The words came out like a demand than a statement. I walked out the kitchen and found myself standing in front of the woman, in who smelt like cat piss and a gas station. Her clothes was dirty and torn and hair a mess- what she needed was a bath. "Here you go," I showed her the bag. "I hope you like Mc'Donalds."
She did not hesitate to snatch the bag out of my hands and start to chow down on the warm fries. "Thank you," she said with a mouth full of food.
I cringed slightly, considering I have a pet peeve about a person talking with food in their mouth. "Welcome."
As she ate her fries, she eyed me up and down as if examining my features. "You must be the girlfriend." Once again she smiled and this time she swallowed her food before she spoke.
"Yeah, Skyler."
"Voila. My mother had a thing about French." She said.
"Interesting."
"Sky," Aaron stepped beside and slowly pulled me away from his mother that was actually lucid and seem to be kind of you get to know her. But I don't know her, so my opinion is not very valid in this situation. "Can you give us some-"
"Privacy, got it." I finished his sentence before kissing his cheek in encouragement. His cheeks turned slightly red, only because his mother awed at my affection. Before I can walk into Aaron bedroom that was only isolated from everything else with just a thick curtain, Aaron stuffed the number of the center in my hand.
I sat on the edge of his bed and fished out my phone so I won't listen, but it was hard. I was being a nosy girlfriend at the moment.
"Why are you here?" Aaron came off rude and aggressive, a side that I never heard nor seen from him. It made me shiver, even though I'm not the person he was talking to.
Voila hesitated before answering her son, "I-I wanted to see you. I've heard you moved out here to see your son. You have a son! That's fantastic. Is Skyler the mother?"
"His biological mother died not too long ago." Aaron said blankly with no emotion in his voice. "Don't tell me you just came out here to say this bullshit. How much?"
"W-what?" It sounded like she was caught off guard. "I don't want any money, I just wanted to see you. To catch up so we can be a family again."
"Right, that's what you said the last time and we were never a family. Don't forget you left before I could even experience a motherly love from you."
"Quentin, please." Voila said, calling Aaron by his middle name that he hates. Maybe this is why he hates it so much.
"Don't call me that, you know I hate it."
"Why would you hate your father's name?"
"You know damn well I love my father more than any other person, especially more than you. I just hate hearing coming from a woman that left with another man a day before his funeral. You didn't even wait till he was buried. What kind of fucked up shit is that? He did everything for us, gave his life up for us and what did you do? Get fucked up and sleep around."
"Don't pull that card on me." Voila whimpered out. I could hear the hurt in her voice, the pain she held for years. I kinda felt bad for her, but I pushed it down; I'm supposed to be on Aaron's side.
"Oh I got other cards to pull if you don't like that one."
"Quentin, I'm trying. I want to make things right, if not with you then my grandson. I want him to know about me so I can be there for him."
"So you can mess him up like you did to me. You will never step foot near Mike, do you understand. I don't give a rats ass how much you changed, it's not happening." At the moment he was a step close to rage, the hurt in his voice made me frown. I wanted to go out there and wrap my arms around him until he calms down and still keep my arms around him for comfort. I gripped the sheets to keep myself where I am, but I still listened.
"I'm sorry-"
"Don't, you're not sorry. You just feel guilty."
Silence... There was only silence and tension in the air, but even behind this curtain I can tell their face expressions kept the conversation going. Soon the curtain flung open to see a very pissed off Aaron, his face was slightly red and eyes were glossy as if he was going to cry at any moment; but he kept himself from doing so.
"I call the place," He simply said while walking into the bathroom and slamming the door shut, causing a picture on the wall to fall and crack.
Voila stayed on the couch, no longer enjoying the meal I brought her. She looked devastated and hurt, as if her life went down the toilet. I stayed on the bed, not wanting to make a move towards either of them to comfort- only because they needed time.
I did what Aaron asked and managed to get a bed for Voila later today. After making the call, I stood up from the bed and made my way towards Voila slowly. "I guess you heard everything," she said while wiping her tears away.
I slowly nod my head yes, "I- um. I called a rehabilitation center, they have a bed for you but you have to get there by five. I can go with you-"
"No need." She cuts me off while looking down at her hands that was shaking. "I won't stay anyway. I'll just flee and get high off of whatever I get a hold of."
"Do you want me to call someone?"
She shakes her head no, "The only people who knows I'm alive doesn't give a rats ass if I die or alive."
"That's not true. Even though your not Aaron's favorite person, he still cares- your his mother. He even suggested the center for you, so you can get better." I stated.
She sighed heavily before standing to her feet. "I should get going."
"Are you sure? Do you want any money?" I pulled out my wallet and pulled out a twenty.
She hesitated and eyed the money, "I don't want you to get into trouble."
"I won't get in trouble. Here." I placed the money in her hand with a gentle smile upon my face.
"God bless you. C-can you tell me one thing?"
I simply nod my head, "Yes."
"What does Mike look like? Is he adorable? How old is he?"
"His turning nine in another week, yes his adorable and very smart." I stated. "He look and act exactly like Aaron, but with emerald eyes."
Voila finally smiled, she wore the same bright smile. "Quentin always had the deepest dimples when he was younger, does Mike have the same dimples?"
I nod my head, which made her smile turn even brighter. "The dimples are like potholes. Here I have a picture." I fished out my phone to show her a picture of Mike.
Her eyes became glossy when she looked at the adorable picture of Mike smiling. "Oh my, he does look like Quentin."
My lips tugged into a smile as well while I put my phone away, "Yeah."
"I should go, thank you Skyler. You're very kind- an angel." We inched to the door, a step at a time.
"I wouldn't say angel, but thank you." I opened the door to let her out. "Make sure you take care of yourself." I said, even though I barely knew her; she was still Aaron's mother- I love Aaron so much to take care of his mother even when he doesn't.
"I'll try." She walked out the apartment with the Mc'Donalds bag in hand and money in the other.
When I closed and locked the door, I walked back to the bedroom as if I was going to the principal's office. My knuckles connected to the closed bathroom door, "Aaron? Are you okay?"
There was silence on the other side until he finally answered me with a gruff voice that gave me evidence that he was crying. "Yeah,"
"Can I open the door?"
".....Yeah."
I turned the knob and nudged the door open. Aaron leaned on the sink with his head down, his muscles flexed and his face was red from anger. "Voila left, she didn't think going to the center would help."
"Her lost," he whispered.
I stepped into the bathroom so I can stand in front of him. I lifted his head by placing my fingers under his rough chin, to see his eyes were red and puffy. Aaron quickly snatched his head away in shame. "I don't know why I'm crying about this shit," he said. "I'm tired of shedding tears for motherfuckers that don't give a shit about me."
"You're human Aaron, we can't help it sometimes." I stated, since I'm experienced about the feeling. I placed my hand on his knee on comfort. "Maybe you should talk to her some more."
"I don't want to see her."
"Aaron, it'll help. It seems like she wants to be with her son."
Aaron glared down at me as if I was the enemy, "I don't give a shit what she wants! It's not happening."
I slightly jumped from the out burst, but immediately caught myself. "I was just thinking-"
"Just drop it Sky, I don't want to talk about it." Aaron turned his back on me, but still stared at me through the mirror.
"Okay," In which I did drop it, people has their own way to deal with family- I can say from my own experience. "You want a hug?" I opened my arms in welcome. "It'll make me feel better." I added.
Aaron sighed heavily before giving in- he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into a tight hug that he really needed. He rested his mouth on my neck, giving me feather like kisses on my warm skin.
"I know that I'm not obligated to give out family advice, but maybe give her a chance." I said while rubbing his back in comfort. "Just sit down and speak to her sometime, not now- but if she shows up again." I bet she's already all the way in New Jersey by now or down the street...
Aaron slowly pulled away, "Yeah, in another twenty years when she's close to dying." He spat.
"Maybe, maybe not." I shrugged my shoulders, only because I had nothing else to say on the matter. "So.... Quentin was your father's name?" I asked.
Aaron simply nod his head yes, "My aunt suggested that his name would be my middle name and Aaron was my father's middle name. Considering my father was in Nigeria during my birth, she was in charge of suggesting names since my mom would be too tired to even think of anything." He explained. "I love my middle name, it's just when I hear Voila saying it- it makes me sick."
"Why not just make you a junior?"
Aaron shrugged his shoulders, "I never asked. I try not to ask anything that involves him."
"Do you have a picture?"
Aaron did not say anything, instead he walked out the bathroom and towards his opened closet to only reach up for a old G.I Joe lunch box. Aaron gave me a look that made me chuckle a little, "Don't judge me, this was my time capsule since 92'."
"Not judging." I stood by his side to watch him open it. Old junk that I haven't seen since the nineties occupied the space in the small metal box. He rummaged through the box before taking out a old picture that was definitely showing it's years, with it's brown spots and shriveled edges.
"This was taken in 76', when they first met."
I gently grabbed the picture as if it would fall to dust at any moment. I first noticed Voila with her long brown curly hair that touched her waist, brown skin and that bright smile- she was tall and thin like a model. Next to her was a dark skin man with a bright smile, shirt Afro hair, a few tattoos on his arms (mostly Marine tattoos), tall and buff- him and Aaron shared some features from their tall height and stance- how they can show so much confidence in one picture.
"They look so happy," I said in disbelief, considering I've never seen one picture of both of my family smiling so freely with one another- unless it was for show- but even then it looked awkward.
"Yeah well, that was their honeymoon stage." Aaron stated before putting the lunch box back. "Unfortunately it's the only picture I have of him, my grandmother has the rest."
"Do you speak to your grandmother?" I handed the picture back to him.
Aaron gently set it up by his lamp on the night stand, "No, she hasn't talk to me since everyone found out I was shooting up." He let his head down in shame, but I instantly lifted up and kissed his lips.
"Stop that," I said against his lips. "I don't like it."
Aaron kissed my lips once more before lifting me up into his arms, causing my legs to wrap around his waist and arms around his neck. My back hits his firm mattress with his lips still on mine.
We didn't do anything but kiss because it wasn't the right time. Aaron was vulnerable and I didn't want to take advantage, I only wanted to comfort. I knew he was only doing this because he didn't want to talk about it, but sooner or later he would have to- I'm just going to have to wait and see.