A/N: This chapter happens on the night of Jimin's birthday
Jungkook pushes him to the wall hardly and their lips are together again.
"I hate you so much," he says while furiously ravishing the other's neck.
"I hate you too." Taehyung turns him around on the wall and puts their mouths together again.
They manage to get till Taehyung's apartment door and Taehyung fishes his keys out of his pocket. Jungkook is still grasping the other male's shirt tightly whilst leaning on the door, so when Taehyung opens the door he almost falls on the floor. He was a bit tipsy because he might have drank a bit of whisky when nobody was watching.
Taehyung closes the door with his foot and Jungkook pushes him again onto the wall roughly. Their lips clash together, both fighting against each other.
"I wish I never was your boyfriend," Taehyung says and Jungkook nods.
"At least one thing we agree on," he goes back to the older's luscious lips and traces rough kisses with his mouth until his earlobe, which he bites slowly. Taehyung moans and pulls Jungkook closer.
"I wish I had never met you , Jeon Jungkook. You hurt me so bad," Jungkook stops any motions that he was previously doing to look at Taehyung in the eye.
"I hurt you? I hurt you? You were the one who left me. You were the one who cheated on me," Jungkook is a bit angry now. How could the other say that? Taehyung looks at him confused and gets closer.
"You know that I'd never cheat on you," he looks at him in the eye and the younger almost believes. Almost. Jungkook wanted to make him feel the same pain that he did. The pain that he felt when he was left alone.
He slips his hands under Taehyung's shirt and softly brushes his hands throughout his nipples where he knew the other was overly sensitive. Taehyung moans quietly and leans his head on the wall.
That is when Jungkook furiously kisses him again and tries to search for the bedroom in the dark. He throws the other carelessly on the soft mattress, and quickly goes on top of him, sucking wherever he could, on his neck on his ear, on his chest, and Taehyung moans at every touch.
"Jungkook, please," he knew what the other wanted.
He simply nods.
Everything came along with a price though.
*****
"Will you be here when I wake up?" Taehyung asks with his sweaty body interlaced with Jungkook's. Jungkook plays with the other's brown locks and nods.
"Of course," Taehyung smiles and closes his eyes softly, leaning on Jungkook's shoulder. They were both so tired.
He looks at his previous boyfriend face. Everything about him was perfect. His eyes, his kindness, his boxed-smile. However, he had hurt Jungkook so badly. And he wanted to hurt him in the same way.
As soon as he is sure that the other is asleep, he puts on his clothes and leaves. Just like Taehyung had left him. Alone.
*****
"Shit. Now I want to kiss Yoongi hyung," the whole table turns around to face Taehyung. Jungkook specially. He knew that the other was only doing that to affect him. After their night together, the other would do anything to hurt him because he wasn't there with him when he woke up.
"Maybe one day Taehyung. Maybe one day." Yoongi says and Taehyung smiles brightly. Jungkook rolls his eyes. What was he doing?
"So, before this gets any weirder, can you guys finish eating? I want to cut the cake," Jin says and Jungkook is glad.
He takes Jimin's hand that is on the table and holds it so it would be visible to everyone how much he liked his hyung. Specially for Taehyung. Jimin smiles at him and Jungkook smiles back. His hyung was so innocent, he couldn't even figure out half of what was going on.
However, Taehyung has his own tactic. Speaking with Hoseok. Hoseok smiles so brightly next to the younger boy that Jungkook would be blinded by his smile if he got any closer. But Hoseok could never be Taehyung's type. Taehyung liked people who were able to attend his needs, hard and well. And Hoseok? He was too innocent, too chaste for that.
He looks at Jimin that now spoke to Yoongi. Both their eyes sparkled. Jungkook knew what love looked like. He knew that they felt something for each other. The others might be in denial but Jungkook was sure. Jungkook knew. Hadn't he lived his whole life around his caring hyung, after all?
He couldn't figure out what the other was going through. But he wanted to help him. Somehow.
But first things first, he still needed his hyung's advice.
"Jimin, can we talk later?" He whispers on his ear and Jimin nods.
As soon as everyone starts to go to class, Jimin finds a private place for both of them to talk. It's nearby some trees so Jungkook simply seats down on one of their roots and breathes in the smell of nature around him. Jimin is quickly by his side.
"So, what do you wanna talk about? Also, can you do it a bit quicker? I have class like in 20 minutes," Jimin smiles tenderly even though his sentence was a bit harsh.
Jungkook cuts it straight to the point.
"Listen, I already knew Taehyung before you met him," Jimin sends him a confused glare and Jungkook sighs. This would be a long talk.
"He used to be my boyfriend."
Jimin is silent whilst gaping at him. Jungkook can't do anything but wait for that to settle on his hyung's mind. When Jimin leaves his catatonic state Jungkook has to cover his ears because:
"WHAT?"
...aaaaand the whole school is staring at them. Great job, Jeon Jungkook!
"HOW? WHY?" Jungkook covers the older's mouth.
"I'll tell you everything if you calm the hell down," he says and Jimin tries to calm down slowly breathing in and out.
"But... Hoseok?" Jungkook nods. Of course he would want to protect their best friend.
"I know. I know. Listen, I will tell everything to him eventually, but for now on please keep this a secret. I am only telling you this because I know I can trust you with my own life," Jungkook begs and Jimin hugs him.
"Of course I won't tell anyone, Kookie. It's okay. Now please explain," Jungkook begins to tell him his story.
~~~~~
"I'm sorry, but can you please tell me where room B16 is?" Jungkook asks the person he thought to be most friendly around the school.
It was hard being a shy kid. Also, even worse, studying on a new school. And now that Jimin was still studying at Jungkook's previous school, he couldn't even ask the older where he was supposed to go. So, he simply walks up to a boy that searched for things on his locker while wearing red-colored earbuds.
The boy looks at him curiously and keeps staring not answering him. Was he maybe not listening?
Jungkook feels like screaming. Why would nobody answer him? Jesus Christ he just wanted to get to class on time. Was that too much to ask for?
"Room B16?" the man in front of him asks and Jungkook nods eagerly.
The other boy points at the classroom that was literally in front of them. Seriously? Feeling like he wanted to punch himself in the face, Jungkook murmurs a silent "Thanks" and starts walking towards the door.
That is exactly when a hand grabs his wrist. He turns around a bit scared. It's the guy he just spoke to. Now, he had removed his earbuds for whatever reason.
"Are you new here? My name is Kim Taehyung. Nice to meet you," the boy smiles and Jungkook swears that it's the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. He could swear that angels were singing behind this Kim Taehyung boy as soon as his smile started to grow bigger and bigger.
Jungkook couldn't let himself be affected though. He slowly takes his wrist out of the other's hold.
"Yes. I am new here," he smiles, trying to be at least a bit friendly," my name is Jeon Jungkook."
The bell rings and Taehyung notes something quickly on a Post-It block that he took out of his locker and, plastering the note on Jungkook's uniform, he pushes him inside his room and starts to run to his own.
That kid was very random.
As he introduces himself to the whole classroom, he has a grin on his face. Why? Because he stared at the taller boy's number that was written on the note that proudly hung on his uniform.
~~~~~
"Why do people call you V?" Jungkook asks the older while laying his head on his lap. Taehyung starts to play with his hair and Jungkook closes his eyes, feeling the endearing touches of his hyung pleasantly.
"You know what? Even I don't really know... you see, I used to live for a part of my life in the USA." Jungkook looks up.
"Really? Why?"
"My parents had jobs there... anyway, it's not important," Jungkook nods, feeling that the older didn't want to speak about how he had gotten to live there.
" So... I had to obviously go to school, right? And can you just imagine someone that spoke korean for his whole life, now having to learn how to speak fluent english? Well, it wasn't easy."
Jungkook feels the other's struggle. He actually tried to learn english for a while but it was very hard. He could barely speak a whole sentence without messing it up.
"And one of the most difficult letters for me to pronounce was the letter V. It seemed impossible. And my colleagues couldn't pronounce Taehyung properly. So, instead of finding the equivalent of my name to an english name, they simply decided to call me V as if to make fun of me. As a constant reminder of a letter I couldn't pronounce. However, I embraced the nickname, not caring about its meaning. If they wanted to call me V so be it," Jungkook smiles. That story was interesting.
"At least I think that's what happened. I can't really tell, because you see, I seem to forget things easily," Taehyung smirks mysteriously. Jungkook lifts his head out of his hyung's lap and sits up.
He looks around. Their private spot around the whole school was amazing. A place where nobody went. The little park behind the football field. It was so isolated not even the janitors would go there to clean it up. Every time Jungkook didn't feel like having PE, he would go there to see if his hyung was skipping class, which he usually was.
Jungkook didn't have anyone to talk with anyways. He only had one friend in his whole classroom, Yugyeom, but the other was an excellent student that never cut class.
Jungkook looks at Taehyung in the eye.
"That's nice hyung. But, don't you like to be called Taehyung better? Why do you still ask for people to call you V?" Taehyung ponders for a while.
"I guess that even if we want to, we can never let important parts of our life die. Maybe I didn't like this nickname at first, but as soon as I embraced it, it became a huge deal of my life. Not just a nickname, another person, another Taehyung. The tough, cold Taehyung that ignores people that pass him by on the hall. The one that is afraid to trust anyone, that one is V. The personality that I chose to show you is the original Taehyung's personality. The one I want you to see," Jungkook grins. His hyung was so nice...
He doesn't even realize that their faces are getting closer and closer, until their lips touch.
Jungkook had never kissed a man in his life. His father is a homophobic, and he hates that about him. Knowing that his father would probably be so pissed off to know that he was doing this, made him want to crave more for the other male. He hated his father so much, he would do anything to get him mad. And kissing Taehyung felt so good. So right. More. He wanted more.
He strokes his hyung's cheek slowly and Taehyung pulls him closer by the neck.
Taehyung lays on the grass and Jungkook is on top of him, kissing him slowly, carefully, as if his hyung was a piece of china that was so diaphanous it could be easily broken by the smallest touch.
"Jungkook..." he stops kissing the other male and Jungkook looks at him in the eye.
"Yes?"
"I... I think that I like you..." Jungkook goes back to his lips and pecks it slowly.
"I like you too hyung..."
They were friends for about 8 months and look at what was already happening. Jungkook was admitting his feelings to someone 2 years older than him that had the same gender as him. He could hear his father's whipping on the background of his mind, yet he couldn't seem to care about that at the moment. The person under him didn't allow him to think about anything else but her lips.
He kisses him thoroughly and Taehyung grasps his clothes as if wanting for the kisses to be harsher, deeper. If that is what Taehyung wants...
Parting their lips for a while, Jungkook sits down on the soft grass, and pulls Taehyung up, right on his lap. He grabs his butt cheeks harshly and Taehyung moans a little. Did that innocent boy like it rough?
Jungkook bites the other's lower lip hardly as if warning him that shit's about to go down and directly inserts his tongue inside his mouth.
"Jungkook... Jungkook... Jungkook..." Taehyung tries to speak between kisses, but Jungkook doesn't let him, craving for more.
"Wh... what?" He finally lets the older speak, curious about what he had to say. Taehyung thumb his cheek softly and quickly looks at somewhere else.
"I... I don't want to ruin this moment but... w-would you be my boyfriend?" His hyung was so cute. He chuckles at Taehyung's red cheeks and kisses them.
"Of course, didn't I tell you that I like you?" Jungkook smiles and Taehyung giggles loudly. Jungkook kisses his lips once more and hugs his hyung.
He couldn't quite understand what was happening. But he had a boyfriend. He was committed to someone. And he wanted it to be like this forever.
~~~~~
Jungkook wonders when he's going to tell Jimin that he has a boyfriend.
He couldn't come out to his hyung. He wouldn't understand.
~~~~~
Jungkook kisses Taehyung's forehead one more time and Taehyung smiles while leaning his head on his shoulder like he usually did.
Both had just made love. For the first time. Him and Taehyung, together. And Jungkook is so happy, he wants to jump around the room. Jungkook had never felt something as passionate and as beautiful as what they had just made.
Their touches were delicate and they did it so calmly, so slowly as if the had all the time in the world. Jungkook was happy that his first time was with such an amazing being as Taehyung. He couldn't ask for anything else.
"Taehyung?" Taehyung turns to him, his eyes almost closing, just as tired as Jungkook's. He smiles and Jungkook is sure of what he is going to say.
"I love you. I love you so much that every time I'm with you I feel things that I've never felt before with anyone else. I want to stay next to you all the time, and when we part to go to class, those are the harshest moments of my day, not keeping a secret from my friends, not worrying about my father discovering about my sexuality. It's parting from you, it's seeing you go away. I love you so much, I couldn't even imagine seeing you go to college and being away from me, which I know you're going to next year. But that is a penalty I can take, a penalty I need to take, in order to still be with you. In order to still call you my boyfriend. In order to wake up in the morning and have someone to call to and say good morning. I love you Kim Taehyung, and I hope you feel the same."
He feels his shoulder getting wet and immediately starts to panick because, shit, Taehyung was crying.
"No, don't cry. What did I do?" Taehyung is sobbing and Jungkook hugs him. Taehyung hugs him harder.
"J-Jungkook-ah I love you s-so much, I think that m-my heart is going to burst."
Jungkook releases a relieved sigh he didn't know he was holding in. His hyung loved him too. Jungkook peppers his face with soft kisses. Both say repeatedly "I love you" to one another, like a mantra.
Taehyung giggles and Jungkook pecks the other's lips once more.
Barely did he know that their love wouldn't last long.
~~~~~
"Is everything okay, Kookie?" Jimin asks carefully as Jungkook giggles yet one more time to his cellphone screen.
"Yes, just speaking with a... friend," he frowns at the sentence. He wanted to tell it to his best friend. That he had a boyfriend. That he had someone to love and that, that someone also loved him. But Jimin was so straight, there wasn't even the slightest possibility that he would understand. After all what even was Jungkook's sexuality? The 'I like girls but I love Kim Taehyung' one?
"You seem much happier nowadays... did something happen between you and this... friend? Is it a boy or a girl?" Jungkook is a bit surprised by the question.
Jimin asked if something was happening between him and a girl or between him and a... boy?
"It's just a boy friend that I have. We became friends earlier this year," Taehyung isn't lying. It was his boyfriend however, he just decided to make a short pause between the words to hide a few additional details from Jimin.
Jimin sits down in front of him, on his bed. They were currently at his house and he realizes that his hyung had a serious air surrounding him now.
"Jungkook... listen. I know that I might not be your best hyung or maybe the best friend you have. But I am a good listener. And if you have anything to tell me, you know I wouldn't judge you. Never. If you have a lover, it doesn't matter to mean if it's a girl or a boy. You are my dongsaeng, my little brother, Jungkookie and I'm here for you okay?" The younger one is so tempted to tell him everything.
However, in that exact moment Hoseok barges into the room and Jungkook returns to his closed shell. He had almost told Jimin about his secret. Was he becoming that soft?
~~~~~
Jungkook ruffles his hair one more time as he looks at himself in the mirror. He had just woken up and he felt like dying. Monday morning? No, thanks.
The only thing that actually made him get out of bed and go to school was Taehyung.
He checks his messages quickly to see if his boyfriend had woken up and receives a message from one of his friends. He opens it and covers his mouth in surprise.
It was Taehyung, his Taehyung, kissing another male.
He feels tears stinging his eyes. Why would his hyung, his boyfriend do this?
~~~~~
"Hyung." He looks at Taehyung, his eyes teary.
"Please, tell me this isn't you," he shows him the picture and Taehyung looks to the side.
"That's all I needed to know," Jungkook backs off and Taehyung starts to chase him.
"Kookie! Wait... let me explain..."
.Jungkook has heard enough.
~~~~~
"Hey, do you think I'm sexy?" He points a bit drunkly to a tall, black-haired girl that was standing on the hall.
"I might. Why?"
Jungkook takes her to Jimin's home (it was closer) and it doesn't take long for both of them to have sex.
Jimin actually walks in on them but who cares? Jungkook had lost all the meaning of his life. Why did he have to continue living anyway? His one and only love had betrayed him, cheated on him. He was a fool. He shouldn't have trusted anyone. Yet he did and look at what happened.
"That was amazing," he takes a picture of both of them from the neck up that could obviously tell that both were naked and he posts it on his Instagram.
He takes a shower as soon as she leaves, but no matter how much he brushes himself, he still feels dirty.
~~~~~
"Good night, my name is Kim Taehyung, but everyone calls me V. I will be serving you tonight. Drinks?" Jungkook lets the penny drop. His best friend's crush was Taehyung. The only one he once loved. Fuck.
Taehyung still looked beautiful. Still 2 months after their breakup, Jungkook unfortunately still loved his hyung. He tried to pretend that he didn't, but his feelings were there. And everytime they went away, Taehyung reappeared to remind him of those.
And that was going on now.
A tortuous relapse.