Thoughts From A Crushed Mind

By AccidentallyAnna

800 108 6

poetry collection #4 || #749 in poetry 02/18 More

18
pillow
naivety
video call
stop
care about yourself
go
i have a misery
grief
suicidal
cry
self-hatred
playing pretend
life ends at 20
dust
cool
he was all over me
crippling worthless
conditioned
left-wing word porn
gingernuts
memory
alison
surgical
draft 1
draft 2
draft 3
draft 4
draft 5
moving forward

i'm free now

41 6 0
By AccidentallyAnna


freedom

broken hearted freedom

i need you only when i'm alone and awake

i needed you

when i was so drunk i was shaking

i thought i would die

you left me heaped under the sink

i woke up in your bed

and i drained

 like a deep 

deep pool

when your anger took over

i thought you'd hit me rather than the wall

and the walls were shaking like

my shoulders as i turned away from you in a ball

sobbing at the realisation

that i was helpless and trapped

that i needed love and comfort

but you couldn't give me that

and you couldn't even explain

your reason was something mean

you should never be angry at a girl for these things

you say you treat me like a princess

but this isn't the 16th century 

and i have the right to leave

to claim freedom with a heavy heart

i need you when it gets dark

and when the world sleeps

except you and me because you ruined everything we could have been

suddenly realising a void is filled by intimacy

but any stranger can give you love

but i needed you

past tense

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