We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget these images,
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover
The wedding was underway. The ceremony was set for the late hours of the afternoon, and already things had started going wrong. Speed pulled up outside the glamorous hotel, hands resting on the handle bars of the Ducati as he put his foot down to steady the bike and switch off the engine.
He straightened up, stretching out his back from the thirty minute drive over here. He loved the bike but it could be murder on his body.
"You alright?" he asked Kate, watching through tinted sunglasses as she hopped off he back and ran a hand through her tangled hair.
Kate turned to face him a small smile across her lips.
"My hair's a little worse for wear but you know how much I like taking a ride on the Ducati." she said unzipping her leather jacket to reveal a white gypsy style top..
Speed sat back and watched her peel the leather off before letting his eyes rove her body. At thirty she was still energetic and athletic. Kate had always been slender, but there was more muscle now, most of it toned. Her legs were shapely under the tightness of her denim jeans, he found himself staring at her ass, exhaling deeply as she bent over to pick up her backpack, and swing it over her shoulder.
He knew he shouldn't... Well he thought he shouldn't. Kate it turned out didn't care. She said it made her feel more attractive knowing he was looking at her that way.
Twelve weeks, for some reason was killing him. He'd lasted two years when she'd been injured by Clavo Cruz, but for some reason now he didn't last five minutes. Cold showers had become a regular relief for him, especially after spending the morning playing the make out game with her.
It wasn't that they shouldn't make love, it was the fact Kate physically couldn't. Hagen had done a lot of damage to that area of her, and it had taken this long for it to heal. Tim was patient, and understandably so but it was weighing down on him.
Knowing that another man had touched her, been inside, her made him red hot with jealousy. The primal instinct was there to make her his own just as it had been back in college whenever a guy came onto her, but now it wasn't like that. There were too many emotional issues involved.
Kate may not remember every sick, horrific detail of the things Hagen did to her but she knew the basics. She knew she'd been violated, she remembered being kidnapped and held for a day with internal bleeding in the dark. She couldn't sleep without a lamp on anymore. She wasn't a fan of confined spaces and she would never be able to wear a bracelet again, watches had to have leather straps not metal.
He'd discovered all these things in the past twelve weeks and he was quick to accommodate them. She told him she felt stupid having a night light so he'd switched back to the lamp. He knew never to surprise her from behind, or never to grab her wrist. He knew making a sudden movement in her direction made her flinch as if she'd been slapped. He knew that's what Hagen had done to make her comply, he'd floored her with a blow to the side of the head, her cheek had been stained with his hand print for weeks.
"Will I get to see the bride later on or do I have to wait for the wedding?" he asked as she sashayed towards him.
She was still aware of her sexuality and she used it at every chance she got with him. He thought part of her wanted to make sure that he was still interested. That the lack of actual sex wasn't boring him. She kept him plenty entertained with oral sex after the stitches had healed. She was almost her old self, and he liked seeing her face contort with pleasure, her body writhing underneath his mouth.
They never went any further than that, the one time they'd tried...
Tim did no want to think about it. He'd never wanted to see that expression on her face again, or hear her begging him to stop. He never wanted to see those tears rolling down her cheeks as she fought him. He'd tried to hold her down to stop her freaking out, to comfort her and then he'd realized...
He'd made it into the bathroom in time to throw the toilet seat up and vomit his guts out into the bowl. He hated the idea that he had done something like that to her, hated the fact he reminded her of Hagen.
It had been her who comforted him in that situation, it had been Kate that had made the first move. She had ventured into the bathroom and sank down on her knees beside him as he choked and sobbed with shame. Her arm had wrapped around his waist, her cheek pressed on his back as she soothed him. Her fingers had combed through his hair, her words reassuring.
"Most likely at the wedding. There are too many things I need to sort out, and she needs to get her hair, nails and make up done." Kate told him, leaning in and resting her delicate hand on his knee.
Speed brought his own large hand up so it cupped her face, their lips inches apart. Kate was watching his mouth as he spoke.
"What about you?" he asked, his thumb caressing along her jawline.
"You will see me ." she confirmed, kissing the tip of his nose, before placing a light kiss on his lips.
"Will Daniel be ok with Alexx?" Kate asked knowingly, as Tim brushed her hair back away from her face.
"I think he'll be just fine. He likes playing with her kids." Tim reassured her.
They were both protective over Daniel since Jessica's attempt to snatch him and steal him away to Mexico. Kate was the one that spent the most time with him recently. She quit CSI a month after the attack. She could never settle, she was always on edge, and she'd started taking anti-depressants. The scenes were too much for her.
Her first case back was a murder and sexual assault. It had left her quaking in the ladies bathroom with Calleigh rocking her like a child. In the end she saw the case through but it was her final case with CSI.
The FBI had snatched Kate up straight away after that.
She refused point blank to do field work, she went into the Miami field office as a lecturer. She taught U.C tactics and became 'guidance counselor' to the individuals that needed someone besides their handler to talk to. A month in and she was enjoying it.
Kate was a legend in the FBI. She kept her medal hidden but Tim knew she earned it. He'd looked her up after she'd gotten back into Miami, but he never knew where she kept them. She wasn't proud of it and in a way he knew she should be. She'd given up a lot of her life for a shiny piece of metal, she didn't want it flaunting in her face.
"I have got to go." Kate drawled, her lips lingered on Tim's again.
She tasted sweet, her kiss was tender and soft. He loved her, he loved this. He wanted to marry her. The ring had been sitting in his jacket pocket for over a week now and he still hadn't found the right moment to take that leap.
He'd almost done it the other night. He'd watched her, curled up on Daniel's bed with Daniel, reading him stories from a Roald Dahl poetry book. Daniel loved Roald Dahl, he always had, long before he came to Kate and Tim. Seeing him and Kate wrapped up in a blanket, reading by lamp light, all giggles and smiles it meant something. He suddenly felt at peace, this was his family. All of this was his.
Kate had fallen sleep reading with Daniel as she did most nights. Tim though she was trying to over compensate for the fact she hadn't been able to help him during the crash. Apparently her therapist felt the same.
"Hm, maybe just one more minute." she uttered, pressing her lips to his.
Tim wrapped his arms around her, his hands were running through her dark hair as he poured his heart and soul into that kiss. She needed to know how he felt, and this was the only way he could show her. The only way he knew how.
He drew away, feeling his heart racing in his chest as he rested his forehead against hers and cradled her face.
"I love you." he murmured looking into her bright sapphire eyes.
"Always." she uttered with a wide smile.
Tim had always thought she had the most amazing smile, she had the best laugh he'd ever heard. It made him want to laugh too. The best thing about her was she as always there, always sincere.
"You know it can't stay like this for ever right?" Kate said quietly. "You have to let me go."
Speed's body jerked at her words before he buried his face into her shoulder, clutching her petite body tightly to him, inhaling her scent. Her body was warm against him, he could feel her soft skin and her loving caress as she held him close. It felt real to him, everything oh so real.
"If I let you go then I'm admitting that your gone. And I can't do that right now Kate, I can't face that." he mumbled, feeling his chest start to wrench and twist, he knew this couldn't continue, but how he prayed it would.
Kate placed her small hand over his heart, he wondered how it felt under her fingers. Did it feel like it was breaking? Like every thud was it's last?
"I'll always be right here Tim." she whispered, tapping a slender finger against his solid muscles.
"I need you to stay." he told her, trapping her hand over his heart with hers. "I need you to live for me."
His eyes were stinging now, his throat was burning with the lump of emotions that stifled his breath. It was tearing out his heart, he could feel part of his soul dying as he held her.
Kate took a step back, untangling herself from his arms, from his need and in the end from his grief.
At that moment he saw her for what she really was. A broken, violated woman, whose body was twisted up in the sheets of a hospital bed. Wires jutting out of her skeletal frame like lingering extensions of her soul.
"I can't Tim." Kate said softly. "I'm already dead."