All my thoughts are with you forever,
Until the day we'll be back together
I will be waiting here for you
Within Temptation - Bittersweet
His head was in his hands. He could feel the blood pounding in his temples as his fingers clutched at his hair, attempting to distract him from the words that were uttered. His eyes were burning, unwanted tears were escaping from the corners and he couldn't bring himself to look up at the doctor as he spoke. He only listened.
It wasn't real, this whole day could not have happened. It shouldn't have happened. The evidence was there. Kate's burnt out SUV, Bernstein's child in the ICU along with his fiancée, his own Kate lying in a hospital bed, fresh from the surgery that had stopped the internal bleeding.
He felt like someone had gutted him. John Hagen had done this, he'd stuck his hand into Speedle's chest grabbed his heart and twisted until the pain was unbearable. Tim allowed himself this moment to break down. He was allowed a time to fall apart and freak out, to rant, rave and cry because he knew after this moment he'd have to be the brave one because Kate would not be able to put together the pieces of her broken life.
The sexual assault kit had been positive. Calleigh had tried to break the news to him as gently as she could but she had not been prepared for the wrath of this defilement. She had not expected him to put a hole in the wall of the hospital waiting room. His fist was aching, the nurse that had checked had proclaimed his hand bruised instead of broken.
"Can I see her?" he murmured.
Doctor Carmichael looked down at the younger man, a kind expression on his features as he stood along side Horatio clutching the clipboard.
"She hasn't come out of the anesthesia yet, she's still unconscious. She was lucid when she went in for the surgery but we're unsure of what to expect when she wakes up."
The three of them understood that he was talking about the attack. They were unaware of the psychological effects, how she would be handling it.
"Her body and mind has undergone a lot of trauma. We were lucky that it was only her appendix that was ruptured during the crash, we managed to stop the bleeding into her lungs but it's the other the other damage we are concerned about."
The lower tearing, she'd been bleeding between her legs, bruising on her thighs and hips. She'd had a concussion, it had turned more severe because it had been untreated. Tim reeled off the ailments in his head like a grotesque tick list. They'd had to take samples from Kate, even though the bastard was dead they had to violate her further to ensure he had been the only one.
Tim pursed his lips together, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. He was struggling at the moment against the emotions that crashed down on him. The past twelve hours had been the most terrifying of his life, he wasn't sure he had the strength to keep his urgency below the surface, he knew he was starting to lose control of his temper. He needed to make sure she was ok, that she was back with them and it wasn't some mistake.
Doctor Carmichael watched the young detective's turmoil. He's always had a strong relationship with the MDPD, and Horatio had gone out of his way to help him out a few times after his wife's death when his daughter had gone off the rails.
"You can see her... You can stay there until the anesthesia wears off and then we're going to have to evaluate the psychological trauma." Doctor Carmichael informed Tim.
He rose to his feet unsteadily, feeling bile rise in his throat. His stomach was jittery with nerves. He wasn't sure what to expect and that scared him.
Horatio stretched out a hand and clasped his shoulder. The motion was calming, Tim took a deep breath before turning to face the other man, clearing his throat gruffly. He had showed far too much vulnerability and he resented the fact it weighted on him the way it did, but his words spoke he truth. The desperation peaked in his voice.
"Will you stay?"
Horatio's stormy blue eyes met Tim's. There was so much of his own emotion's reflected in Horatio's face. Anger, relief, fear, all of them. He knew there wouldn't be a chance in hell that this would go unpunished. Hagen's reputation and anyone else involved would be destroyed.
"I'll be waiting right here." Horatio reassured him.
Tim nodded his thanks before steeling himself mentally as he followed the Doctor towards Kate's room.
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"I thought I'd come see how you were doing." Calleigh's Southern accent serenaded Bernstein as he stood beside Autumn's bed, his eyes on the tiny incubator along side it.
"Good... Better now that they're both out of the ICU, it was touch and go for a while there." Mike told her, without looking up from the sleeping baby.
He was in awe, his son was a tiny creature with latte colored skin. He was wrapped int a blue blanket with a little blue hat on the top of his head. He wondered how Autumn and him had made something so perfect. It hurt that he couldn't hold the little boy, he wanted nothing more than to cradle the child in his arms, and kiss his nose.
The Doctor's had old him that premature babies usually weren't quite adapted to the outside world. That they needed extra care to help them make the transition. As far as Premature babies went, their's was as healthy as they could hope given the circumstances.
Calleigh smiled a little, her hands behind her back as she leaned over the incubator catching a glimpse of the new Baby Bernstein. She thought it was a miracle that the little boy had managed o survive the crash and was glad that both him and Autumn were out of harm's way. She was happy for them, but she had to admit part of her wished that she had been at this stage in life. They were both so happy together and the baby, Calleigh knew would be loved.
"He looks just like you." she said, tilting her head to get a better look at the bundled baby.
"He has Autumn's eyes." Mike informed her proudly before dropping into the seat besides his finance's sleeping form, looking suitably exhausted.
His white and beige shirt sleeves were rolled up past his elbow, his suit jacket hung off the back of the chair as he rubbed his eyes wearily.
"Have you chosen a name yet?" Calleigh asked, straightening up and turning her attention to Mike.
"Micheal, Micheal Jordan... I wanted the Jordan and she wanted the Micheal." he told Calleigh who laughed.
"Like the basketball player." she murmured, her face intent as she examined he baby. "I can't believe he's so small."
"He's half a month early, but the doctor's say he's doing well considering." Mike told her, rubbing his hand over the top of his head.
"What about Autumn?" Calleigh asked, raising her eyes to study the sleeping woman.
Autumn looked peaceful as she slept, her auburn hair was splayed across the pillow, her head was resting on her shoulder. Her delicate hands were resting on her stomach, a sign Calleigh knew of insecurity especially since she knew what lay underneath the sheets.
"She's sleeping off the meds from the hysterectomy. She'll be out of it for a while." Mike confided, his fingertips stroking Autumn's arm. "We didn't even have a chance to talk about more kids."
There was a sadness there that Calleigh understood. Mike had had to make a split decision an he'd chosen Autumn. She knew that weighted heavily on him, especially since the complications caused by the crash had force the surgeons to remove Autumn's womb after they had saved the baby.
"There's always adoption, surrogates, fostering. There's a whole range of other options." Calleigh offered.
"We didn't even get much of a choice and that's the worst part. If Hagen wasn't already dead I'd have killed him myself." Mike snarled venomously.
"You'd be stuck behind a long queue of people." Calleigh conceded, feeling her own rage simmer beneath the surface.
John Hagen had a lot to answer for. His actions were those of someone with a severe mental instability, after searching his home and his desk the full extent of Hagen's obsession had come to light. He'd been stalking Kate for a long time.
They had found pictures of her scattered around his house. In every single picture Kate never looked at the camera. She'd been gardening, chatting on her cellphone, closing he curtains, day to day things and Hagen had created a collection out of her life. It wasn't right she thought, it wasn't right that nobody had noticed.
"I heard there's a video." Mike said breaking the silence between them.
Calleigh wrapped her arms around herself feeling suddenly very cold as she leaned against the wall by the door frame. She'd seen the tape, her and Horatio had watched every minute of the images that moved before them. Calleigh tried to distance herself from it, but maintaining a professional distance was hard when you were seeing your friend being violated. She'd been sick afterwards, every time she thought about it bile climbed up her throat. She could taste the acid in her mouth.
"We haven't told Tim, I think the two of them knowing that would tip everything over the edge, they're barely hanging on as it is." Calleigh said quietly, bowing her head.
"Hagen was a fucking sick bastard." Bernstein snarled. "And fucking Jessica should be given the needle."
"Tripp interviewed Jessica with Stetler, she said Kate deserved everything she got for turning Daniel against her." Calleigh told him, shaking her head. "She knew what Hagen was going to do and she encouraged it."
"I hope she rots in hell." Bernstein growled before turning his attention back to the baby. "Is Tim doing ok?"
Calleigh tipped her head from side to side indecisively before responding, there way no easy way to answer that question.
"He's hanging in there." she said finally.
Bernstein bowed his head, knotting his fingers together.
"We wanted him and Kate to be God parents, but now it seems all wrong to ask them." Mike admitted quietly to Calleigh.
"Give them time." Calleigh advised. "What you've all been through... It puts things in perspective. I know they'll be thrilled if you ask them."
Bernstein looked up at Calleigh meeting her gaze, he couldn't see the future. He had no idea how anyone expected them to move forward when everything seemed so dark right now.
"Yea?"
"Cross my heart." she told him, pacing her hand on her chest before taking a step towards the door.
"I have to write up the Ballistics report for this." she said, her hand resting on the door knob "But I'll be back later with booties and hats for the little guy."
"I appreciate that." Mike said warmly, rubbing his hands over his face.
"Is there anything you guys need from your apartment?" Calleigh offered, car keys already dangling from her finger tips.
"Some spare clothes?" Mike requested.
"For both me and Autumn, there's a bear on the bed..." He trailed off, bowing his head.
"I'll grab it." Calleigh told him before ducking through the door.
If there was one thing you couldn't fault Calleigh Duquense on it was the fact she was always there for the people she loved.