Rogue Txt: A Star Wars Story...

By derp_eyes

22.9K 2.1K 7.6K

Jyn Erso and crew have all bought phones! And they can text their sworn enemies as well and sing songs over t... More

Prologue
Death Star Plans
Pilot Squared
Dark Side Autocorrect
Death Star Plans and Group Chat Addition
Text Prank
Rebels and Rogues
The Emoji Mystery
Lazy chapter
I Have Lost My Marbles
K-2SO in Hot Water
Attack On Titan Crossover
Idk What I'm Doing
Original Mix
Emojis Part 2
Hungry, Hungry Droid
Rogue One
Merry Sithmas!
New Year's Resolutions
We Interrupt This Story to Bring You A Comic
Too Much Blue Milk For Krennic
Operation Pilotยฒ
Galen Erso's True Form
Operation... Titansยฒ?
The Truth and Crybabies (and Crydroids)
Galen Erso Had A Farm...
Another Song Chapter
THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER IT IS A QUESTION TO SEE WHAT ELSE I CAN DO WITH THIS STORY
Dad Joke = Bad Joke
Tarkin's Aspirations
The Additional People in the Group Chat Chapter
Palpy's Plan
An Apology and New Group Chat
Another Comic (because I can)
Double Triple Quadruple Date...
Stardust
Armitage Hux
-Orson Krennic and derp_eyes Break the Forth Wall
Somebody Should Get Married
New Story, I Got Tagged Yay, and Other Information
K-2SO vs. Cassian
Get Your Own Chat! + Jynnic
TAGGED AGAIN and Thanks For the Obvious, Orson
Double Fulcrum
COMPETITION TIME
Jabba the Hutt + Jassian
Short Chapter
Eren Yaeger
Bodhi and Baze Chat (user chat)
Somebody's "Ben Solo" For Too Long
RANDOM REQUEST AND INFORMATION
Baze Malbus is a Whale
This Was Going To Have a Normal Name But Then I Decided To Call It Gaylen
OC Addition
Too Many Andors
Jassian (The Jabba X Cassian Jassian)
-Readers and Rogues Sign Up!
Winner for the Contest!
Cri
ErSO
Miraculous Krenny-Bug
Let It Go
That One Chapter Where There Are No Rogue One Characters In It
PB and Jynnic
Happy Boy
Talk Jassian To Me
ROGUE ONE ASSEMBLE!!
Another Forcing Song
Blind People Chat
After the Superbowl
Galen, Drink Your Milk
Baze's Shipping Game part 1
My Best Star Wars Memories plus Tagged
Happy Valentine's Day
OCs
Short Chapter
Not so fun info
K2's ABCs
Baze's Shipping Game Part 2
Snooping
Tears For Lorde
Rogue What?
CONTEST TIME PART 1
IT'S A KRYCE-SIS
What Should Have Happened in Through Imperial Eyes
The Oscars
Ezren + Cassian Get Ahold on Derp's Ship Generator
Sassing
My Rebel Buddies and Me (Shoop doop doop doobitty doop)
The Emoji Mystery Part 3
Rogue TXT IRL
WYR
CONTEST WINNER!!!
Migraine
Welp
This Land Is Your Land
Baking Cookies
Spittin' Out Dem Lyrics
Big Fat Rogue 6
Rogue TXT Origins Part 1
Rogue TXT Origins Part 2
Bodhi's Confession
#ProtectBodhi2k17
The Ten Chirrandments
Do You Wanna Fix You Status?
Random
The Deepest, Bottom of the Pit Hold Secrets
My Life as a Teenage Wattpadder
Guess Who?
RO-diac and Jassian
Eat Your Spinach
The Book of Texts 1
The Book of Texts 2
What Can I Say Except...
Derpy Time
RIP Chat Member
Name Games Again
Krennic's Birthday
This is Legit Hard Okay? Name Games Again Part 2
Rogue One Rebels Assemble
Name Games Again Part 3
ROGUE TXT MEMORY GAME
Round 1 questions!
Round 2 Pair-Ups: Round 1 Answers
Round 2 Questions!
The Last Jedi (its actually a chapter)
Round 3 Pair-Up: Round 2 Answers
Round 3 Questions!
WINNER OF CONTEST + DayMungo Tarungo
Die Clichรฉ
A Sprain
#HotKallus
Baze's Birthday
Everybody Wants to be the 1 and Sit on Tร˜P of the Victorious World For Centuries
Raisin Bran
Cassian Vs. Krennic Rap
Taggin'
K2 the Angel
I. AM. SHAKING.
All About Those Plans
Dannibal
The Story That Was Lost
The Sequel Prequel Created Equal?
May the Forth
Revenge of the Mayo
Be My Guest
Ask the Rogues!
Fan Mail
Amnesia
Fan Mail Part 2
Spam
Straight For That Death Star
Happy Mother's Day
No One Like Sir Saw
Apologies
Derpy Opinions
Baze and Chirrut's Wedding
The Fifth Wall
Break It Down Again
Story Time!
Weird Chapter That Needs A Better Title
Summer
Possible Contest?
Kick the Bucket (List)
Derp's Brain Is Clogged With Anime
Dead
Caption Reaction
100 Followers
There's a Director Controlling Me (what?)
For those that still read this reekshite book

Winter's Kriffed Up

71 7 8
By derp_eyes

READ THIS BEFORE WATCHING THE VIDEO: This parody has a lot of language. PLEASE do not watch if you dislike that sort of thing.

Welp, time to see part of the pegasister (female My Little Pony fan) side of me and what I watch in my free time.

Also, I got some snow where I live, which is why I made this chapter.

I don't own anything.
========================================
Baze Malbus: I don't mind a little cold weather, snow or ice,

Bodhi Andorrook: But when it becomes too intense it isn't very nice.

Chirrut Îmwe: At first the snow is beautiful. It's fluffy, white and rich

Orson Krennic: Chirrut you can't see

Baze Malbus: But when I have somewhere to go it's such a F****** B*****

Baze Malbus: All I want to do is walk on over to the store
But now there's all this snow and ice that wasn't there before

Jyn Eros: Okay...

Baze Malbus: I cannot go 10 feet without falling on my a**
I must be honest, and I'm sorry if this is kind of crass

Cassian Andorrook: I'm scared

Baze Malbus, Chirrut Îmwe and Bodhi Andorrook: Winter's kriffedup, Winter's kriffed up

Cassian Andorrook: But I like winter

Baze Malbus: The snow is too Forcing thick

Baze Malbus, Chirrut Îmwe and Bodhi Andorrook: Winter's kriffed up, Winter's kriffed up

Baze Malbus: No one enjoys being sick
Winter can suck my stick

Bodhi Andorrook: I'm don't know why the Force must make the weather suck
Something to do with a season-thing, honestly I don't give a fuck.

Lyra Erso: ...

Bodhi Andorrook: Flying is better than walking on the ground
But when I fly my ship's

Baze Malbus, Chirrut Îmwe and Bodhi Andorrook: Repeatedly snowbound

Bodhi Andorrook: OH KRIFF!!

Baze Malbus, Chirrut Îmwe and Bodhi Andorrook: Winter's kriffed up, Winter's kriffed up

Bodhi: Andorrook: 20 Celsius below zero

Baze Malbus, Chirrut Îmwe and Bodhi Andorrook: Winter's kriffed up, Winter's kriffed up

Bodhi Andorrook: The streets are always narrow

Baze Malbus, Chirrut Îmwe and Bodhi Andorrook: Winter's kriffed up, Winter's kriffed up

Bodhi Andorrook: Outside, keep your mouth closed
'Cause winter FORCING blows

Jyn Eros: I don't know what to say to this song...

Chirrut Îmwe: Now I have to wear like 7 layers of clothing
These coats are collapsing my lungs, and yet I'm still singing

Orson Krennic: You must have big lungs

Galen Erso: Its called Talent Krennic

Chirrut Îmwe: I can barely see anything with all the wind and snow

Cassian Andorrook: You can't see...

Chirrut Îmwe: I'm almost killed by falling icicles

Jyn Eros: Use the Force, you idiot

Chirrut Îmwe: Mother Nature is a

Baze Malbus, Chirrut Îmwe and Bodhi Andorrook: homocidle foe!

K-2SO: Bum bum bum

Baze Malbus, Chirrut Îmwe and Bodhi Andorrook: Winter's kriffed up, Winter's kriffed up

Chirrut Îmwe: I don't know why others like it

Cassian Andor: Because snow is amazing

Baze Malbus, Chirrut Îmwe and Bodhi Andorrook: Winter's kriffed up, Winter's kriffed up

Chirrut Îmwe: Holidays are one benefit

Jyn Eros: Very true

Baze Malbus, Chirrut Îmwe and Bodhi Andorrook: Winter's kriffed up, Winter's kriffed up

Chirrut Îmwe: But once they're over, it
becomes loads of reekshit

Bodhi Andorrook: And sure, little boys and girls might get at least one snow day
But then they have to make up all their homework anyway

Galen Erso: I remember those painful days...

Orson Krennic: you never had a problem...

Chirrut Îmwe: And snowball fights are kind of fun unless you are a nerd (Lyra)

Lyra Erso: I'm offended. :(

Chirrut Îmwe: This song should apply to you even if you

Baze Malbus, Chirrut Îmwe and Bodhi Andorrook: haven't joined the herd!

K-2SO: OH YEAAAH!!

Baze Malbus, Chirrut Îmwe and Bodhi Andorrook: Winter's kriffed up, Winter's kriffed up

Baze Malbus: The roof tops are caving in

Cassian Andorrook: Well shoot. Guess I should fix them

Baze Malbus, Chirrut Îmwe and Bodhi Andorrook: Winter's kriffed up, Winter's kriffed up

Chirrut Îmwe: Weather like this should be a sin (praise the Force)

Baze Malbus, Chirrut Îmwe and Bodhi Andorrook: Winter's kriffed up, Winter's kriffed up

Bodhi Andorrook: Can't wait for spring to begin
Frost bite FORCED up my skin

Baze Malbus: The other seasons have problems,
Summer's hot and all
But at least I can walk around and not constantly fall

Chirrut Îmwe: Speaking of which, autumn is fine despite the leaves dying
And spring has rain but makes up for it with rainbows, flowers-

[Baze Malbus has interrupted Chirrut Îmwe's text]

Baze Malbus: AND OTHER GAY STUFF!!

K-2SO: GAY

Baze Malbus, Chirrut Îmwe and Bodhi Andorrook: Winter's kriffed up, Winter's kriffed up

Baze Malbus: Can people please move faster?

Baze Malbus, Chirrut Îmwe and Bodhi Andorrook: Winter's kriffed up, Winter's kriffed up

Bodhi Andorrook: Tatooinians are lucky bastards

Baze Malbus, Chirrut Îmwe and Bodhi Andorrook: Winter's fucked up, Winter's fucked up

Baze Malbus: How long will this b**** last?

Bodhi Andorrook: Hope this reekshite melts fast

Chirrut Îmwe: Force winter in the A****

Jyn Eros: Damn Jedha natives
========================================
Motherforcing ending credits
These are the forcing credits
AnimatedJames and Hasbro
Are the people who made this happen
Forcing download this forcing song
Kriff kriff kriff Force kriff kriff
Kriff kriff kriff Forcing Kriff
Reekshite and more swear words!

By the way, Baze, Bodhi and Chirrut are all from Jedha.

Please forcing review!

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