March 11th, 2014
My room was below freezing when I awoke due to the air conditioner my brother installed for me less than a week ago. I didn't exactly know the precise temperature of the room itself, but since my fingernails were purple- that might've been the main claim to my hypothesis. But other than all of that, I was thrilled to go to school.
Yesterday, Hunter practically didn't exist. Luke never acknowledged her once. Even at lunch, he sat with Cal and I. And at dinner, he sat next to me again, but not too next to me. It was a slow night, but no matter what I enjoyed it. I hoped to enjoy today, too.
Due to my mum's conspicuous rant on how bathtubs should have a wine cooler for nights when ladies would rather kill themselves than do the dishes- I was put in an odd mood. My mum never even drank wine let alone took baths, or did the dishes. That was Greg's job.
I took the bus, the smelly old bright yellow bus that I hated oh-so much. The driver was an asshole, so were the people, I also was an asshole. I overlooked that last one though.
On the way to school, I watched the summer scenery pass by with all of its amazing and beautiful colours. If I could create a metaphor for that, I would, but I was fresh out of ideas. Mostly because I couldn't stop thinking about that date. Well, "date". Like Luke said, they were mostly scattered around and not considered dates, just- it didn't actually make a whole lot of sense. Did he want to take me out on a date or hang out?
I stopped thinking about it when the bus pulled up to the school. Already, kids were shuffling around, hanging out with their friends, or eating breakfast, despite the fact that it was an hour before school started. I didn't have to expect Cal or Luke until thirty minutes before class, so there was absolutely nothing for me to do. I could draw, no, I sucked. I could write, again, no, I have two year old writing skills. The only thing I was good at was creating metaphors.
While everyone else sat outside with their friends, I stayed in the hallways, on a cool bench with no one around me. I was fine, however, my stomach ached for more food and my head was throbbing traumatically. My mum had chronic migraines when she was my age, so she most likely passed it down onto me. No surprise there. I couldn't think anymore, it hurt too much. And the nurses office wouldn't be open until class started.
Sighing, I pulled out a book and tried to read, although it was hard. At least I wasn't an author, or I'd never be inspired with anything.
Pretty soon, people started filing into the hallways and I began searching for two extremely tall boys around my age. A group of boys were standing near me, talking about how one lost their virginity just over the weekend to a girl named Caroline Peters. I knew her, and she shouldn't be with him.
"Loner," said someone as they sat next to me. It was Calum. He was alone, too.
"You're the one to talk. Where's Luke?"
"Donno, he didn't come out when I was going to pick him up. And since he doesn't let me in his house, I just left." All Cal did was shrug but I knew he was worried. I most definitely was. I scrunched up my nose and pursed my lips, something I always did when in thought.
"Oh," I said.
"Yeah, I hope he's okay," said Calum. "It happens sometimes."
"It happens? What?"
"He just doesn't come to school. That's all he tells me."
The day felt slower without Luke there. But of course I would say that, I'm suddenly obsessed with him it seems. This is why I wished I had more girl friends to hang out with and go to the mall. That'd be fun, if people here actually liked me but sadly- they don't.
Calum said they cancelled band practise today because Luke couldn't make it, so I was invited to Michael's house after school if I liked to go. My mum said sure, since I lied and said we'd be going to Luke's which of course she doesn't know anything about Luke. So I had Calum give me a ride over, and let's just say, I was somewhat nervous. Ashton and Michael would be there. People. Talking. I hated people and talking.
It required me to be social which in every case I was certainly not.
Ashton was already sitting on the front porch when we got there, looking bummed that he wouldn't be able to play the drums while on the other hand, Michael was no where to be found.
"Ash! Where's Mikey?" exclaimed Calum.
"He'll be here soon, I think. Hey Paige!" said Ashton. He jogged over to me and embraced me in a quick tight hug, since he was probably all muscle and no fat.
"Hey Ashton," I replied. As soon as I let go of the hug, Michael was dropped off by the bus with a glum face on. Either he was upset about having no practise or it was because he was a Year twelve and was still riding the bus. Same, Michael, same.
"Ooh, Calum brought a girl," he said as he approached. "Good to see you again, Paige. Where's Luke?"
Cal and I shrugged at the same time.
"That's why practise was cancelled? Cuz the idiot didn't show up to school?"
"Cut the kid slack, Mikey. He could be sick for all we know," interjected Ashton. We made our way inside and immediately I felt weird. I was with three boys, two I hardly knew. It was obvious I'd be ignored.
"If we suck at The Only Reason, it's his fault."
"Mike's always like this," said Cal as a whisper in my ear. "But it's brotherly love- don't worry." I nodded and followed them down the stairs into a large basement with all of their instruments in it.
"Wow," I said quietly. Ashton smirked at me but didn't say anything. I smiled back, even though his smile had a little more in it, mine was normal.
Hours later, the boys were playing some odd video game when Calum had to exit the room for a call. He was gone for long enough before he came walking back in with his phone in his right hand- the left hand covering up the speaker.
"Paige, Luke wants to talk to you," said Calum. My heart stopped momentarily, but I gathered my thoughts and left the room with Calum's phone.
"Hi."
"Paige."
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"Fine, I just- I know you're at Michael's; but can you meet me at the park? I'm there now, I'll explain when you come, if you come."
"Of course I'll come, but Cal's my only ride there so give me about 15 minutes. Okay?"
"Okay?" Luke sniffed, and then the line clicked off.
"Calum!" I shouted. "I need you!"
--
Luke was on the swing set, facing away from me when I arrived. The night had already fallen and the stars were out, so the scenery was absolutely beautiful. He kicked off with his feet and glided backwards, tilting his head back to look up as he went back and forth. I smiled, remembering the first day at the park we did that. We hung out here a lot; didn't we?
I didn't speak a word as I sat next to him and did the same thing he was doing. The silence was wonderful, even though it wouldn't last long.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
"You say that too much," I said, looking at the grass and mulch beneath us. There were too many wonders in this world to think about. I wondered why everything was the colour it was. Why this generation was so hateful. Why some people's lives had to be harder than others.
"I guess I do. But I can't take you out on a date. I can't do anything. Tonight, I escaped, to be here, right now."
I didn't reply for a minute. I was too busy contemplating on what to say, after all I was shocked with the words he said. It was scary, too.
I swallowed before asking the death question. "Why?"
He sulked.
"They'll kill me," Luke mumbled and stood up before looking down on me. The tears were already in his eyes and I didn't think much after that because I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him tight. I wanted the best for him, even if I didn't know how to give it.
The only sound in the night was our breathing and his soft sobs. I felt for him, I really did. Here he was, breaking down in my arms when I had no possible way to fix him. He looked so happy with Hunter. What was missing from me? I fisted the back of his t-shirt, and if it were possible to hold him closer, I would. I was on my tip-toes while he was somewhat hunched over due to his height.
The dark colours painted around us made it feel even more somber as he continued to cry on my shoulders; I didn't even mind. After what felt like forever, his hands slid slowly off my back, and he let go of the everlasting hug.
"I never cry this much," he chuckled and wiped under his eyes.
"What did you and Calum talk about?"
"He told me that Michael was being the common asshole at FIFA again because Ashton-"
"That's not what I meant," I said.
"I know, I was stalling," Luke took a deep breath before continuing. "I called him right after I left my house because..."
"Luke."
"John hit me again."
We didn't say anything for a few seconds until Luke lifted the corner of his shirt to show me a big purple bruise. It was right under his ribs, in between it and his hipbone. It was so bad, I was about to throw up. My shocked face triggered him to choke up again, in which I almost hugged him, but was afraid I'd hurt him. He didn't even wince before, unless I didn't notice.
"Does it hurt?"
"No," he shook his head and frowned. That's why.
"Luke," I said. "Why'd he hit you?"
He hesitated.
"I said I wanted to take you out somewhere. He fought with me, said 'no girls' but that was when Maggie decided to come in and actually speak up for once. I thanked her, for trying to reason but that was when John's fist collided with my side." I cringed. "I-I heard Maggie scream and I sprinted out the door with my phone and car keys.
"Usually," he continued. "John hated me using my car for nonsense reasons. So over the summer, when I went over to Calum's, John was at work. Yet I can never take it to school because he'll slaughter me. I can't go home tonight. Oh God, no I can't."
Luke sat himself down in the grass and huddled in his knees. It took me a second but I sat down next to him- on the side that didn't have the bruise- and leaned into him.
"Stay in my guest room."
"I don't want to ask you for much-"
"Luke, I'm not offering. I'm demanding," I interrupted and looked up at him. We were so close, it hurt.
"Really?" His mood spiked. I nodded into his shoulder and looked back at the sad swing set next to the tree. "You're pretty awesome," he whispered in my ear and I grinned.
"You mean it?" I bit my lip.
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't, Paige. Next to Calum, you're the greatest thing that's happened to me. I want you to always believe that."