|Sarah's P.O.V|
She split us up, pushing Logan to the couch and frantically sitting me up in the chair. She stood in the middle of the two of us, tears falling down her cheeks. The faint glow of the TV made them stand out.
"You're ridiculous!" Mom yelled at Logan who was sobbing like her life depended on it. Myself on the other head was trying to calm down. I was trying so hard to get the thought Logan put in my head.
I stared at the ground as my mom stroked my hair gently. As bad as it sounds, I felt bad for Logan. I don't want her to think I've wanted and gotten all the attention these years.
"Hunny, none of that is true. Do not listen to her." She pulled my head towards her so I was resting on her stomach. Her fingers still calmly moved throughout my hair.
"Are you kidding me Mary? She's the one that ruined our family!" Logan yelled back at our mother. Each word leaving her mouth sounded disgusting to hear. I hated this, why was this happening?
Before I could process what was happening, my mom let me go. This drew my attention to what she was doing. Inches away from Logan, both of them stared each other dead in the eyes. Then my mom slapped Logan acrossed the face. Logan instantly in shock and in tears, our mother staring directly at her.
"I swear to god Logan," She didn't get to finish because Logan was pushing past her to the stairs where our old bedrooms laid. "HE'S DEAD I KNOW, SARAH IS NOT THE FUCKING REASON SO QUIT!" The last part was more louder only because Logan slammed the door and was in another room.
This left the two of us, myself still in shock and my mother who was about to break in any second. I watched as she crumbled, slowly sitting down in the couch, sobbing. Seeing her like this was way worse than how I was feeling. Starting to cry as well, I got up from my spot and walked over to her. Sitting down, I placed a comforting arm around her.
"Mom, please don't cry. I'm so sorry." I whispered, my breathing starting to quicken. More big alligator tears ran down my cheeks.
"No sweetie, I'm sorry. I don't know why she's like this," She removed her hands from her face, wrapping her arms around me. I did the same, both of us hugging each other tight. For some reason this made me weep even harder. "What did I do to make her like this? She was perfectly fine these past couple years. It was like she was making up for all her bad out breaks. Why is she having one right now?"
What my mom was saying made me realize that Logan must of made up most of the stuff she said to me. Like how I ruined the family and that mom cried everyday about it...she just wanted to hurt me... she's jealous that I'm back.
Rubbing her back, I sniffled before telling her what Logan confessed to me.
"She told me once I was born I took dad away from her," My heart was racing just thinking about being Logan and feeling like nobody loved you. Being jealous of your sibling, having everything taken away from you. "I didn't mean to mom. I swear I didn't mean to hurt her." Whimpers left my mouth and my mom took my face in her hands. She looked deeply into my eyes while I looked into hers. They were watery, tear after tear fell down her semi wrinkled face. Her mascara was running down to her chin and her red lipstick was smeared.
"It's not your fault. It's mine, it's Dad's," she paused, looking away from me, but her shaky hands still held my face gently. "Jesus Christ, I never knew she felt that way. I need to go talk to her." That is when her hands released my face, but I couldn't let her talk to her. Grabbing her wrist, she looked at me confused.
Swallowing the large lump I had stuck in my throat, I let out a deep sigh.
"I'll go."
And before mom could argue with me, I stood up and quickly walked to the stairs. There was only a few so I was at Logan's old bedroom door in seconds. Trying to gain confidence to knock, I knew she wouldn't answer it if I did.
So I just walked in, prepared to get mean threats thrown at me. I'm not the one that's hurting the most, it's been Logan this whole time. She's been taking out her anger on me for years. This whole time I thought she just hated me, well that is true, but not for the reason I thought it actually was.
She's hated me for taking away the attention from her. It might make her sound jealous, but it's something siblings can really suffer from.
Placing my hand on the doorknob, I slowly twisted it, revealing a dark room, and quiet sobs.
Taking one step after another, I was in her room which looked very familiar. My eyes instantly adjusted so I could see a limp body laying on the bed face down.
Slowly closing the door as quiet as possible, it began to creek making my eyes close tight. In any second Logan would be screaming at me to get out.
A couple sniffles from her end, then a loud groan.
"What the fuck? Get out!" She screamed. This didn't startle me, it just made me want to talk to her more. Finishing closing her door, I flicked on the light. My eyes landed to hers which were glossy with tears.
"I need to talk to you, like adults." My voice was more softer than hers, I wanted to show her I was serious.
Logan just rolled her eyes and sat up. Criss crossing her legs, she pointed at her desk chair. "Sit down." She commanded, and I quickly took a seat, surprised she even offered me a spot.
Twisting myself a bit in the swivel chair, I began to study her room. From what I remember, her room was way smaller than mine. The only things you could really fit in here was a twin bed, a dresser/desk and a small TV hanging on the wall.
Everything was the same. A few posters hanging over her bed of The 1975 and Gorillaz. Her closet was opened, messy as ever. Clothes hung from hangers and were scattered on the bottom. The room itself was cramped, but no mess covered the floor. Light yellow walls surround us. Yellow has always been her favorite color even if she didn't want to admit it.
My eyes scanned a little bit longer, but then Logan cleared her voice, drawing the attention on her. Her facial expression showing that she had something to say.
"You didn't kill dad. It was an accident. He just wanted to shut you up so you wouldn't start crying over a bad grade." I was shocked a bit, she wasn't apologizing, but she knew how much she made me feel like shit by telling me I killed him.
"He was great, he loved you, you know? And mom does too Logan. I don't know--" she cut me off by laughing. Why was she laughing?
Looking at her confused, she gave me the nastiest look before telling me off like she always does. "You sound so stupid Sarah, just shut up. Maybe nobody was the reason that dad died, but you are the reason that dad and mom hated me so much back then."
What? Why would they hate her?
"As I remembered, you were the one that acted out. Obviously for attention because like you said before. I took dad away from you." I made sure to air quote, 'I took dad away from you.' I wasn't the one that controlled dad.
Logan clenched her fist. "As I remembered it, you'd be the one to cry all the time when the attention wasn't on you. And would cry when I'd beat you at something. "
Trying to remember our past, I do remember doing that. But I only did that because Logan was so mean to me.
"This is our past, it's stupid. But you shouldn't be mad at me, I didn't want to take dad or mom away from you. How is it my fault? " Saying the last sentence really set her off, myself regretting even saying it.
"You are so blind! You had everything! Literally everything! I didn't want to act out all the time! There was a time when I didn't, but you are too young to remember. One time I fell off my bike and scrapped my knees and elbows, you know what dad did? Nothing because he was too busy playing with you. A normal parent would of set their other kid aside and took care of their second kid who was hurting. Dad didn't though, he was too busy with you!
Another time, oh you probably remember this one, it was in the fourth grade and you were in third grade. I came home so proud because I got all A's and a B+ on my report card,"
I do remember this, my heart instantly began to ache.
"And I showed mom and dad, both of them gave me a high five and a big hug. Then you have them yours... you had all A's, not a single worse grade. You didn't get a high five, you got a party."
On the inside I knew it wasn't my fault, but I felt myself feeling terrible for Logan. All these years I thought she ruined my life, but in a way I ruined hers...
A stray tear slipped down my cheek. "Logan, do you think I wanted that? It wasn't my intentions to have our parents favor me over you. Why are you mad at me? Why aren't you mad at them?"
Tears fell down her cheeks as well.
"Because I loved them too much to realize it was their fault. I thought the easiest way was to hate you." Practically falling out of my seat, Logan completely took me by surprise. She wasn't screaming at me, she wasn't insulting me, and she wasn't blaming anything on me either.
She was talking to me like a normal human being and not her 'shit of a sister'.
"Logan." I stood up from my chair, trying to walk over to her, but she stopped me.
"No! Don't you think this makes us okay. We are far from okay. Just get out Sarah, I'm done talking to you." She snapped, the tears falling down her cheeks even faster. I obeyed her command, slowly walking to her door to leave. I looked back one last time before I opened it. She sat there, her head in her knees, crying.
My heart sank, she didn't deserve to feel like this all these years.
"I'm sorry." I whispered, then left her to be on her own.
I shut the door, gently leaning my body against the frame, sliding down it. Once my butt hit the floor, I did the same thing as Logan. I brought my knees up to my chest, set my head in them and just cried.
I must of been there for a couple minutes. Just thinking about our childhood and how Logan always got put in the shadows. As much as I loved mom and dad, they did treat her differently than me. Maybe that's why Logan was so happy these past couple years, because it was just her and mom... no 'competition'.
But out of nowhere, the door behind me was slowly moving. And I was confused and afraid of what was going to happen next. Bringing my head up out of my knees, I tilted it up, seeing a blotchy faced Logan. She stared at me. It wasn't the kind of stare she usually gave me. Not the stare of judgment, it was some kind of connection she was trying to make and I felt it.
About to ask what she wanted, she took a seat next to me, siting against the other frame. She didn't saying anything and I didn't ask. My heart was pounding out of confusion to why she was doing this.
I felt her gaze on the side of my face which brought me to look at her. We both stared for a few seconds, before I saw her moving her arms to me, embracing me in a hug I've never been in before.
Not knowing how to react, I kind of sat there at first not moving my arms around her. I was shocked, why was my sister hugging me? But then she began to cry and my instincts told me to wrap my arms around her which I did. And then I began to cry because I was over filled with emotions.
We sat there, hugging one another while crying. I must of been dreaming.
Closing my eyes tight, I opened them. Nope, I was still here, in my big sisters arms while crying with her. But I shut them again, wanting to enjoy the moment.
In this moment it was like all the bad times we ever had together were flowing into the air. All the Mean names and fights, the jealously and competitions. They were gone, forgotten. In this moment we were two sisters, two sisters who finally forgave one another for everything.
We didn't have to say a word to know everything we had between us was in the air, drifting away.
"Sarah, I love you. I'm so sorry I was the biggest cûnt in the world to you. I'm sorry I told you things that hurt you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I really am." Hearing her say that made me sob even harder. She just apologized to me, Logan just apologized.
Feeling weights being lifted, I knew I had to say something back.
"Logan, I know you are. And I love you so much. I'm sorry I was the way I was when I was little and I'm sorry I made you feel shitty and lonely. I didn't mean to."
"I know, it happen and now it's over with."
It's over, isn't it? This sibling rivalry is over.
*
Our mom talked to us afterwards. Logan told her exactly how she felt back then. How she felt that dad and mom didn't show the same love to her as they did to me. Mom cried, Logan cried, I even teared up. There was a lot of apologies and explaining from mom's end. She was basically talking for two, since dad couldn't give his input. It was like we were finishing the burden in our lives that has been bothering us for years. It was our closure.
In the end, we all hugged, something we haven't done in a long time. It felt nice and I knew from then on that we were a family again, one big happy family.
And Dad was hugging us from above as well.
-Authors Note-
I hope this was okay😂
I had a closing for school today so I wrote this whole chapter.
Hope you liked it!
Thank you for reading, please vote and commentttt.
•Kiley