You guys won't think of Rachel the same after this chapter.
She's a lot different then I've led you to believeeee.. ):
Its kinda sad; especially the end.
But on the otherhand, a lot of other things occur.
I really want to know what you think about this one.
And 40 votes for an update on Sunday. Otherwise you get to wait till' Wendsay.
Enjoy,
-Amber
CHAPTER 24
RACHEL CULLEN
I walked up the steps, Ciaran behind me, and opened the door; something instantly didn't feel right to me. I don't know what it was, or why I felt this way, but it did not feel right. At all. "Hello?" Ciaran asked from behind; I realized I'd just been standing in an open doorway. "Right, sorry.." I mumbled whilst rubbing my temples. I let Ciaran in and closed the door. No one was stirring about, and it was close to one-thirty in the afternoon. I sighed and trudged up the stairs. "You okay?" Ciaran asked me, I sighed once more and nodded. "Yeah, I'm alright, I just feel like something is out of place; not right." He nodded thoughtfully and opened mine and Renesmee's bedroom door.
I laughed to myself; I'm sharing a room with an engaged woman. "What?" Ciaran asked, I just shook my head.
"Nothing.." I said with a smile. He watched me as I went through my two bags, running back and forth between my closet, bathroom and the bags on my bed. Not once did he offer to help; probably because he'd be more of a problem then any help. The fear that something was terribly wrong never left me, but Ciaran told me that I was probably over-thinking it. He was probably right.
We were laying lazily on my bed, the stereo on a low, when I heard someone running up the stairs. I braced myself for death, but then relaxed my body. I was absolutely over thinking it. Renesmee burst through the door as I stood up. She ran and tossed her arms around my neck, picking me up and hugging me tightly. I winced; my bruises were gone for the most part, but my ribs were still tender from the abuse. "Sorry." She said in a tone that was high-pitched and abnormal to her. I looked down at her left hand and squealed. I held her hands in mine and began jumping up and down, smiles plastered on both of our faces. "Women.." Jacob mumbled sarcastically from the corner he and Ciaran had escaped to. I laughed at him, "Don't think you'll get away with out being sucked into our wrath.." I mumbled back quietly. He laughed at me, whilst Ciaran laughed with me. It was rather comical.
After catching up quickly, and quietly, I decided to go downstairs. "Where are you going?" Ciaran asked me curiously as I crossed the room, towards the door. I put my hand on the door knob, "Humans get hungry." I said cynically, walking out the doors. I heard a laugh from around the corner, and I turned. My eyes went wide, my hands got sweaty and my smile fell. "Humans, my dear, do get hungry. But as do we."
I almost gasped; Jane was standing by the window at the end of the hall. She looked down the stairs quickly; Edward and Bella were walking in the door with a woman behind them; her dirty blond hair short. Edwards head snapped up, his eyes locked onto mine which were blood-shot with terror, and in two seconds flat he was right in front of me. "What?" he asked me, looking around frantically. "Bella, love." he said impatiently. "Sorry." she mumbled quietly, Edward re-focused on me whilst I tried to peak behind him. Jane wasn't there. Edward growled causing me to take a step back; he looked dangerous. "Alice." he beckoned rather loudly; Bella and Alice were right here with us in a matter of seconds. "What?" Alice questioned a bit too bubbly for Edwards liking; "Jane was here. That's what." he growled at her. She shrank back a bit. Bella put her hand on Edwards arm, her attempt to calm him. "Ciaran's here." I whispered to Bella, though Edward seemed to have more of a reaction, he nodded. "Why don't we take this to the library." Carlisle said calmly with Jasper by his side.
I suddenly felt like the ocean was the only sound in the world; that calm was the only feeling I was able to feel. Jasper. I groaned and followed the procession up the stairs to the fourth floor. Esme touched my arm; "I think you best stay with Ciaran, Jacob and Renesmee." I nodded gratefully; I didn't have a desire to go talk about this what-not.
I turned backwards and began walking back down the stairs whilst mumbling to myself, "That was a good welcome home.." I then ran into a stone-cold, hard body. I braced myself for death; she was back again. "Welcome home." The tall girl with the dirty blond hair that I'd seen downstairs said. I took a step back; she was absolutely flawless. No doubt she was a vampire; but her eyes were a vivid, bright green. "Thanks..." I said whilst rubbing my forehead where we collided. "Sorry, would you like some ice. Or my hand." she offered the last part a tad bit sarcastically; I laughed. "No, I'm just fine." I said with a smile, a forced smile. "Well, I'm Blair. You must be Rachel, my dear Edward's adopted daughter." I watched, stunned. "Hello Blair." A voice from behind said, a voice I vaguely remembered. Blair sighed and turned to meet the eyes I knew were a bloody, vivid crimson. "Leave this family alone, Jane." Blair said in a rather firm voice, Jane smiled. "Pain." she said in a small voice; I watched her eyes. Nothing happened. "What are you doing?" Blair wondered, Jane blinked twice and looked as though she'd just seen a ghost. "You can't win, Jane, tell us what you want." Edward said when suddenly appearing out of thing air. I sighed; Vampires..
Jane stood in front of Blair, Edward, Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Bella, Rosalie, Carlisle, Esme and myself, looking helpless as ever. "You won't kill me." she stated flatly, a smile on her face. Edward took a step forward, "The hell I will." he said fiercely; that didn't sound like him. Emmett took a step forward, matching distance with Edward, an expression on his face that only belonged to a fighter. "Aro will avenge my death." she said with a smile; "You're a toy for Aro, nothing but a toy. The whole guard is." Jasper said solemnly, his arms crossing over his chest.
I was desperately hoping that Nessie and Jake were handling Ciaran, not letting him hear any of this nor see it.
Jane's eyes pierced me with every dagger-like glance she shot at me; she believed she was inferior. "That's not true." she answered in a voice that sounded like she was trying to convince herself; "Besides, I'm not here to cause harm to your family, Edward." she said whilst starring at me. I had a twinge of something inside me; she was underestimating the power of a family. "What do you want then, Jane." Bella asked whilst focusing her eyes on Jane. I felt as though I shouldn't be here, shouldn't be with a family of vampires/half vampires/half werewolf/half whatever. "Blair." Jane answered simply; she underestimated the power of family, once more. "Blair is family." Edward said with a half-smile on his face. I knew as little as Jane did, so I starred at him whilst wondering what he meant.
Jane shifted her weight to her other foot, "You don't have any idea whom she is. You're now proclaiming she is part of your coven?" Edward laughed a humourless laugh, "I know more about her then you do, and I'm proclaiming she is part of my family." He said whilst emphasizing the word family. I watched her eyes go wide, then go back to their normal size. "Let me live and I won't bother you, or your family ever again." she said in a small voice. Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie all laughed. "As if.." I thought that's what Rose said.
I did not know the outcome of this, and I did not know if I wanted to know it, either. I'm sure, though, that Alice and Edward had insight on this. Edward and Alice both laughed quietly; I looked at Alice. How did she know what was funny? She tapped her finger to her temple. I stifled a gasp; could she read minds? Alice nodded. "I promise." Jane said, interrupting my not-needed discovery of Alice's newest gift. "Jane, no one can trust you." Edward said, taking a step closer. Emmett matched his pace, and they both grabbed Jane. She shrieked a painfully loud, ear-piercing scream. "I'm not going to kill you, now. But if I see or hear of you ever again, you're life will be a figment of our imagination." Edward whispered cynically as he and Emmett walked Jane down the stairs.
What kind of scene was that?
Alice laughed; "Sorry, I didn't see any of that. I wasn't looking." she apologized solemnly, skipping over to hug me. "Its okay. You're only vampire." I said; everyone laughed. Ciaran burst through the door with an awkward expression on his face as he took in the grouping of people at the end of the hall. He looked oddly at Rosalie, whom laughed in return, and walked over to my side. "Are you okay?" he whispered; I laughed. "No, my family is conspiring against me to kill me." I said, Emmett chuckled from behind me. "In your dreams, princess." he said whilst lightly flicking my forehead. I stuck my tongue out and turned back to Ciaran, "Yes, I'm fine. Still hungry though." I said while my stomach growled, accenting my statement comically. Nessie and Jake walked out into the hallway, Renesmee's expression looked ages older then it should have, and terribly troubled. She looked like Edward. "Well, we just got back from lunch, but I'm sure we can sit with you and talk." Rosalie covered up the awkwardness whilst managing a wink for me. I laughed and began the trek down the stairs, relieved that Jane wasn't a nuisance any longer. Hopefully.
I wondered when Renesmee was going to announce her engagement with Jacob; I didn't dare think about it due to the fact that apparently Alice can read minds now. Edward laughed from across the room, I just shook my head and took a sip of my lemon-aid. He then walked over and sat in the chair opposite me, a grim smile on his face. "How was your weekend?" he asked mischievously, I rolled my eyes whilst replaying the 'Jayden and Ciaran' scenes in my head, Edward laughed again. "Its not funny." I said firmly, trying not to crack a smile, but failing miserably. "So.. You know?" he asked whilst motioning his hand towards the sleeping Renesmee on Jacob's chest, I nodded with a smile. They both looked tired, and that made me laugh a bit. Ciaran was leaning back in his chair, almost to the point where he fell. I nudged him, smiling, and his chair went backwards. I was prepared to scream when I saw Alice pushing the chair up with her pointer finger. Ciaran's face was priceless; scared, but cute. "Holy shit.." He said, gasping for air. "Thats not the language to use around ladies, Ciaran." Alice teased him while pulling a chair out and sitting in it.
Ciaran sighed and looked at me. I sat my lemon-aid down on the table and brushed his hair back and kissing him on the cheek. "What time do you have to be home?" I whispered quietly, twidleing my thumbs. He sighed, "Three thirty. My father wants to crucify me." he said humorlessly. I sighed, "Its three thirty now." I frowned, as did he. I stood up and walked towards the door, holding Ciarans hand. "See you at school tomorrow." I said when I opened the door, he smiled and kissed my forehead. "I'll see you before that." and with that, he left, leaving me standing in the open doorway, wondering what he possibly meant. Edward walked over to me, "He'll see you in his dreams." he answered whilst closing the door that I was standing behind. I nodded, laughing, and walked over to the couch which Renesmee and Jacob were both now sleeping on. Renesmee shook awake, her eyes on me. I laughed at her akward expression, "You're safe now." I said with another laugh, she smiled and jumped up from the couch, waking Jacob up. "Its time, its time, its time." she sang to him, kissing his forehead. He laughed, rubbing his eyes, and stood up.
She ran upstairs with Jacob, causing me to wonder aimlessly what to do for the next ten minutes. I didn't want to go up to mine and Nessie's room, therefore I walked to the computer room.
I sat down and sighned onto my e-mail, which I hadn't checked in over a month. I had fourteen messages. There were two from my older brother David, six from my grandmother whom lived in Guam, three spam messages and three individual messages from people whom were un-identified. I opened the ones from my brother, whom was thirty and wanted little-to-nothing to do with me.
Rachel Santos,
Why didn't you call me back? I've been trying to get ahold of you for two months.
E-mail or call me back.
-David Santos.
I deleted that one and went to his next one, which was sent three days earlier.
Rachel Santos,
I understand you may be mad at me, but I just found out that you've been adopted? That your father [our] has been abusing you physically and sexualy? Why couldn't you just tell me? These are things I need to know. Is this new family good to you? Because if they're not, you can come and stay with me and Miranda. We'll paint the attic for you.
-David Santos
I stifled a groan; he didn't care, he just wanted something to say. I sat there pondering the thought of actually sending him an e-mail for the first time in three months. I placed my fingers on the keys to type.
David,
I am mad at you. You're possibly the WORST brother that I could've had. And yes, I have been adopted. And I have three amazing brothers that treat me better then you ever have, or would have. They actually CARE about me. I love them. All of them. And he's not my father, he was my step-father. If you hadn't had left when OUR mom died, he wouldn't have abused me. I hope you're happy to know that I blame you for all of this, and that means I would have to thank you. I wouldn't have changed a thing; your shitty actions brought me to the best family I could've had. They LOVE me like you NEVER did. And I would rather be a homeless person then live in your attic. You're a jackass, and deserve to burn in hell for the pain you cause me and MY dead mother. You're a disgrace.
-Rachel Cullen
Send.
I was glad to get that out. I hadn't thought about David for months, he was barely there to me. He'd put me through just as much physical pain as my step-father had, and I didn't care that he was my brother, or that I was supposed to love him; he ruined my life, and he killed my mother. His actions drove her to what had happened.
There was a knock on the door, and in stepped Jasper. He took one look at me, and pulled me into a hug. "Don't." I said as I felt him trying to calm me, "I just.. I.. Please, don't." I mumbled into his shoulder, the tears hadn't fallen and they weren't going to. "Okay." Jasper whispered, reading the e-mail over my shoulder. "I love you too." he said, I smiled, a bit embarrassed. "Love me enough not to kill me." I mused, calming down. I pulled back, rubbing my arms. "I'm going to turn the computer off and get a sweater.. Meet you downstairs?" I said with a smile. Jasper nodded, brushing his hair back from his face before walking out the door. "Sorry grandma." I whispered whilst exiting out of my e-mail, "I can't talk today." With that I shut the computer down and walked out the door, down the hall and into my room. Nobody was in there, so I hurried into my closet and grabbed a random pink hoodie from the rack behind the door. I ran down the stairs, skipping a step or two here and there, hoping to the high Heavens I won't slip and fall.
I didn't. I walked into the living room where Renesmee, Jacob, Jasper, Bella, Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Edward and Blair were all standing. I skipped in, sliding on the wooden floor, and fell face-first onto the rug. I laughed, but sat up. All eyes were on me. I shook my head, "Sorry. I'm not okay." I answered with a nervous laugh, "Go on." Blair's eyes stayed on mine, as if she was burning something into my soul. I shrugged and turned back to Jacob and Renesmee.
Renesmee lifted her left hand, and Jacob held his up. "We're engaged." Renesmee tried not to squeal. Alice, on the other hand, squealed. "Oh my god!" she shouted, Bella walked over and kissed Nessie on the cheek, and hugged Jacob. "I couldn't think of a better match. Probably because you claimed her as yours the day you were born..." she punched Jacob on the arm, it sounded like it hurt. I laughed, Jacob winced, the room was full of 'Oh yay' and all sorts of greetings. I, for the most part, just sat aimlessly on the floor, not sure what to do. My mind, though, was wandering to the e-mail, and hoping that David would feel guilty. He used to torment me, he was twice my age. When I was born, he was fourteen. Edward came and sat by me, "It's really bothering you isn't it?" he asked with a half-smile. I nodded, "He was supposed to take care of me." I said, laughing.
I dealt with pain the absolute worst way.
Simple: I didn't.
I kept everything bottled up inside of me, and when I broke down it was hard to tell anything was wrong.
I might sit there, hitting a pillow with my head-phones in, blasting the music.
I might have random fits of humourless laughter.
Or late at night, when I knew nobody was awake to hear me, I would cry myself to sleep.
I would write poems, and then burn them.
But my easiest escape, which cured all my insecurities and worries, was playing the piano.
I hadn't played in months.
I shook my head, realizing that Edward had heard every word (thought) of that, my cheeks flushing red. "Would you like to play?" he asked me; with a slight smile on my lips I nodded. He stood up and offered a hand. I grabbed it and let him pull me up. We walked down the hall, leaving the rest of the family in the living room, and into a room I hadn't been into before. I gasped; there was a baby-grand piano by a window, it was sleek and black and absolutely beautiful. Next to it was a microphone and a stand, and a little room was off to the side. It was like a recording studio. "Thats exactly what it is." Edward said, switching on a dim light. It flickered for a moment, but then lit the room lightly. "Why?" I asked, my finger tracing the glare the light made across the glossy paint. Edward sat down on the bench at the piano, "Because Alice and myself enjoy recording." he said before playing one of the most beautiful pieces of music. It was something that made you feel light, happy and sleepy in a way. It was the type of music you were glad to hear, and even happier to play. "Its beautiful.." I mumbled in awe; I hadn't heard it before. "Did you write it?" I asked him as he stood up. He nodded, smiling. "I did. Nine years ago today." he answered, I gasped. "Does it have a name?" I said, resting my finger on the key. He nodded, "Bella's lullaby." The name sold itself; he wrote it for his wife. "She was seventeen, and human. She was the most important thing in my life." he seemed to be in awe himself, thinking of Bella at least. He patted the piano with the bottom of his hand, "And now she has to share that space with two others. But I'll leave you to deal with this." Edward said softly. He kissed the top of my head, and left the room.
I sighed; I missed playing piano, and Edward just brought the one thing that has never failed me back into my life; music. I sat down on the bench, running my fingers across the keys, testing the tones to see if they were in tune. They were flawlessly in tone, much more then I'd even been able to tune. I placed my dainty fingers on the keys, and began playing the song I'd written for my mother the day before she died. Once I began playing, I knew the tears would fall. I got up quickly and locked the door before returning to the bench. "This is for you, mommy." I whispered before kissing two fingers, and raising my arm upwards as if the kiss would reach her in heaven. I started playing again, remembering everything that I could about my mother.
© 2010 Amber Snyder (AmberNicoleCullen)