(A/N- Narry moments coming more often from now on....but still a bit of a struggle for Niall. And wow!! This story is #111 in Fan Fiction, so thank you all so much!! Anyway....please enjoy this chapter and if I don't get to update tomorrow...the next update won't be until Monday or Tuesday. Sorry.....just have a very busy weekend coming up!! Love you all!! Thanks for all the comments and votes, lovelies!! xx )
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“I made us breakfast, Ni! Get up!” Louis shouts as he is jumping on my bed. I grumble curse words at him and pull the blankets over my head.
“There will be none of that, Mr. Horan. Now get up!” He then kicks my backside. I yelp in shock, not pain, because it wasn’t very hard. It just startled me. I heard Louis jump from my bed and onto the floor and leave my room. I tossed the covers off and slowly slid out of bed. I threw on some sweatpants and headed downstairs.
“This smells edible. That’s surprising.” I say to Louis as I enter the kitchen. We all know that Louis is not the best cook so the fact that everything looks and smells really good is shocking but at the same time still unbelievable.
“Hey!” Lou says in protest. “I’m a brilliant cook.” He huffed and then I took notice of a bag with a logo on it. I picked it up and noticed it was a logo from restaurant that serves breakfast all day long. I smiled and held the bag up.
“You forgot to hide the evidence.” He smirks and then smiles at the fact that he just got caught. He grabs the bag from my hand and crumples it up and throws it in the bin.
“Whatever.” He replies and continues setting the table.
“Thanks for last night and thanks for breakfast, Lou. I appreciate it.” I say as he is readying to leave.
“Anytime, Ni. And I always make or get breakfast for someone I just slept with.” He smirks and I laugh. “I’ll call you later. Maybe we can all go out tonight if you feel up to it. I’ll see what Liam and Zayn are up to and if you’re ok with it, I’ll ask Harry along as well.”
“I’ll think about. I have to talk with Jamie’s therapist today and then I need to get back into the studio and make up for the two days I spent in here, hiding. I’ll let you know how I’m feeling later, ok?”
“Sounds good. Love ya.” He replies and kisses my temple then opens the door.
“Love you, too. I’ll talk to you later. Thanks again. Bye.”
“Bye” he calls back as he is walking towards his car. I stand in the doorway until he has pulled out of the drive way and started down the road.
An hour later I am freshly showered, dressed and ready for the day. I have to be to the studio in another hour so I decide to take a few minutes to call Mr. Brentwood and discuss the situation with Jamie. I am overwhelmingly nervous but strangely enough, I think I am probably more curious than I should be to see how he is doing and if he still looks like the same Jamie that I knew and once, for a brief amount of time, sort of loved.
“Charles Brentwood” he answers.
“Yes. Hello, Mr. Brentwood. This is Niall Horan.”
“Hello, Niall. Good to hear from you. How are you this morning?”
“I’m well thank you. And yourself?” I reply.
“I’m doing very well, thank you.”
“That’s good. I’m calling obviously in regard to Jamie….or um…James. I’m not sure how you refer to him.”
“Jamie.” He states, frankly.
“Ok. So I have been thinking about it and I decided that it would be ok to see him.”
“That’s great. Thank you so much, Niall. I am sure it was not an easy decision for you. I’ve read over the entire case file and so I know what he did to you. But I can assure you that the man you knew four years ago is not the same man he is today.” He assured.
“Well, yes. I am slightly nervous if I’m being honest and I think I would prefer for the meeting to be in a public place. Well sort of public place. I want to feel safe but at the same time, with the type of career that I have, paparazzi can be an issue. And him coming to my place is completely out of the question. For obvious reason, you understand.” I really want to be able to talk with him privately without the worry of photographers catching wind of where I am, even though what went on between Jamie and I was never made public, but I still need the security of knowing that he can’t harm me. And I certainly don’t want him knowing where I live, just in case.
“I certainly understand and I have a resolution for that, if you would be agreeable to it.” He says and I continue to listen. “You could meet at my office. Due to the types of people that I sometimes treat, I have security cameras set up in the different rooms and when I am seeing one of the more troublesome patients, a security staff member watches the security feed for the room that I am in. Just in case anything should happen. I wouldn’t consider Jamie as one of my troublesome patients but I can understand your need for wanting to feel safe. So while the two of you are talking, I’ll be watching the security feeds in a room down the hall. Would that work for you?” I think about it for a second and I guess that suggestion could work.
“That sounds fine. Thank you. Would I…um…be able to bring someone with me? They can stay in the room with you.” I ask knowing Harry will never let me go alone.
“Absolutely. If it would make you feel more comfortable.”
“Ok. Thanks. So when will this be happening?” I ask.
“Well, Jamie is going to be released on Monday, as you know. Then he will be spending time getting situated in his temporary flat and he will have to have a meeting with his parole officer, so I think by Thursday of next week. How about at two in the afternoon? Would that be ok with you?” I don’t know if I have anything scheduled or if Harry does for that matter but I am sure it should be fine.
“That’s good.”
“Great. And thank you so much for doing this, Niall. Like I’ve said before, I really think that this will finally put his past and his previous antics to bed. This will heal him, almost completely, I think.”
I tell him that I hope it does heal Jamie and then he provides me with the address to his office. He thanks me again and tells me how excited Jamie will be to hear that I agreed to meeting with him. We say goodbye and I sit completely still on the sofa, with nothing but my thoughts. After ten minutes, I am out the door and on my way to the studio.
It only took about three hours to finish what needed completing with Travis. I recorded some vocals to a couple songs and tweaked some others. Only a few more days working things out and I think we will be finished with all of the songs and then it’s just a matter of narrowing them down to about eighteen for the album. It feels really good knowing I’ll finally be coming out with my sophomore album and I do really hope it’s as well received as my first was.
I am home before dinner and begin to consider if I want to out tonight. What I really want to do is call Ryan. I wonder what he is doing and I miss him terribly. I scroll back and forth over his name in my phone and come close to calling him several times. But I have to respect what he wants even if I don’t like it. I’ll wait and call him tomorrow like we had planned.
I heat myself up some left over pizza and consider that a good enough meal. I wander around my house really not knowing what to do with myself right now. It’s Friday night and that usually means date night for Ryan and me and that thought makes this whole situation even more painful. Maybe it would be best that I go out to get my mind off of everything.
Before I can convince myself otherwise I call Louis and tell him that I will go and ask that he comes to pick me up; another tactic that will prevent me from backing out. He sounds really excited and tells me that we are going to the Funky Buddha, Liam’s favorite place, and that both Liam and Zayn will be meeting us there.
He asked if I minded if Harry goes but really who am I to say what he can or can’t do. The fact is that Harry and I will always be in the same circle of friends. We may date or we may not but we will always be in each other’s lives and I need to get use to that fact and stop with all the damn internal fighting. I may only want to be with Ryan right now but Harry and I have to rebuild a friendship otherwise we will have to split time with Liam, Louis and Zayn like divorced parents sharing custody over their kids. So I tell Louis that if Harry wants to go out with us than he should feel more than welcome.
It’s around ten before I get into the shower to get ready for this evening. I make sure that I look good but I can’t really be bothered to put too much effort into it. I’m really not trying to impress anyone nor am I even thinking about trying to meet anyone else. It’s only been two days since Ryan left; two days since the start of our break up; two days living as a single man. Louis is at my door by ten thirty and we arrive at the club at eleven.
“Hey. How are you doing?” Liam utters in my ear and I strain to listen because the music is quite loud. I shrug and say ‘ok’. And it’s the truth for the most part. I am ok right now. I’m upset and depressed about Ryan but I’m ok right now considering the mess I was two days ago when he walked towards the plane.
Liam smiled softly and rubbed my back. I smile lightly, back and thanked him.
“Do you want anything? A beer? Hard liquor?” He asks with a smirk.
“A beer would be good, thanks.”
“Coming right up!” He exclaims and then takes off in the direction of the bar. I try to engage myself in conversations that are going on around me ran by Louis and Zayn but I really am only able to nod or smile or say one or two words in response to most things. I’m trying to be upbeat and not bring others down with my depressing mood but by the pity filled looks be directed at me by Zayn and Louis, I know I’m not doing a very good job of it.
“Here. Liam said you wanted this.” I turn my head to face the person that just whispered into my ear. Harry. He has two pints in his hand and from what he just said, one of them is mine. “Liam got talking to someone at the bar and saw me walk by and stopped to give me this to give to you.”
“Oh. Ok. Thank you.” I reply and take the glass from his hand. Our fingertips brush and I can see the way he is regarding me. It is an intense stare; enough to make me feel like the only other person in the room. I can feel my body getting hotter and I haven’t even put any alcohol in it yet. I smile before I take my first swig and he does the same; never taking his eyes off of me.
After about forty five minutes and two pints later, the sound and massive amounts of people are getting to me. I think I have reached my capacity for extreme noise tolerance and I begin to shift back and forth. Louis looks to be having a grand time and I hate to have him leave to drive me home. I’m sure there are plenty of taxis out front that can take me home and with that thought, I begin to say goodbye.
“We still on for Sunday?” Zayn asks before releasing me from our hug.
“Yeah. Should be fun. Come around one-ish?”
“Sounds good.” He replies and turns back to his conversation with Siobhan, the same girl I met at Harry’s birthday party. I liked her. It’s good that he has seemingly kept her around for a few weeks.
I had basically the same parting conversation with Liam and Louis. Although Louis said that he would leave and take me home but I insisted that he stay and enjoy his night. I then looked to find Harry. I couldn’t leave without telling him goodbye because that would be rude no matter how I am feeling.
“I’m leaving.”I say
“Really? Already?” He looks sadden by the news.
“Yeah. I thought maybe I could handle this all night, but I think that I am just ready to go home and go to bed.”
“Oh. Louis taking you back then?” He asks and then finishes the drink in his hand.
“No. I’m going to grab a taxi.”
“I’ll drive you home. I’m ready to call it a night as well.” He hands his empty glad to a waitress walking by. She flashes her best ‘do me’ smile and he gives her his dimpled smile and all I can think is that she is barking up the wrong tree. She doesn’t have all of the necessary equipment to make him happy.
“No it’s ok. I’m fine in a taxi. Anyway, how much have you had to drink? Maybe you should take a taxi as well.” I finally reply once the waitress has walked away.
“That was only my second beer. I’m completely fine. Seriously, let me take you home.” He stands closer to me and then places his hand on the small of my back and leads me towards where the boys are congregated. He says goodbye and whispers something into Louis’ ear and I can see his eyes slightly lighten as Harry is talking to him. I can only guess that Lou is happy at the fact that Harry is bringing me home but I ignore the thought and wait for Harry to finish with his goodbyes.
We walk side by side out of the club; his hand still on the small of my back and begin the two block stroll towards his car.
Forty-five minutes later we arrive back at my place and he puts the car in park and we sit in silence. I am struggling with whether or not I should invite him in. On one hand, I guess I could talk to him about the meeting with Jamie next week but on the other hand, I am unsure of what will happen once we are alone in my house. I don’t want anything to happen. I know I’m not ready to explore my possible feelings for Harry yet. I’m not ready to do as Ryan suggested and kiss Harry. I take a deep breath and just go with my gut feeling.
“Do you wanna come in?” I ask and it’s spoken so softly that I am sure he had to strain just to listen.
“I’d like that.” He softy replies and turns the vehicle off. We walk into the house and I toss my keys onto my shelf in the entry way and toe off my shoes. He does the same with his and then removes his jacket and hangs it on the rack at which I hang mine.
“Do you want something to drink? Water, tea, coffee…..” I ask as we make our way through the living room and into the kitchen.
“Tea would be great actually. Thanks.” I nod and walk over to the kettle and fill it with fresh water and place it on the stove top. It is when I am turning the burner on that I feel his presence directly behind me.
I look down towards my feet and see his feet on either side of mine. I then feel his hands on my hips and moments later his face is lightly pressing into the crook of my neck; lips pressed to my sensitive skin.
I can feel the heat from the burner turned on high and I can feel the heat from his body. I take a few deep breaths to calm my body and stave off the shivers that want to release from my muscles.
I feel the tip of his nose run along the outside of my ear, gently, as his hands slide to the front of my body, encasing me around my stomach.
“I’m so sorry, Niall” He says, softer than a whisper. I lean my head towards his a little more and wrap my arms around myself; on top of his arms and hands. He places a kiss to the side of my neck and his lips linger.
I find myself being extremely comforted by him and I don’t want the feeling to go away. I am hurting terribly and I want to feel the warmth of another. I want to feel the caring of another. I want all of this but at the same time, I don’t. I don’t want Harry to be making me feel this comforted. I don’t want Harry’s lips to send shivers down my spine. I don’t want Harry’s words to calm me. I want Ryan. Still. I’m not ready for this.
“Harry” I breathe and start to turn my body so that I can face him.
His head stays dipped down so that when I am fully facing him, his nose is touching mine; his forehead is resting on mine. His lips are now centimeters from touching mine.
“I can’t. Not yet.” He closes his eyes and slightly turns his face and places a kiss just to the left of my lips on my cheek and it’s at that time that the kettle begins to whistle.
Our tea is made and we are resting on the sofa in what I could describe as a comfortable silence. I have the radio on in the background playing a soft, soothing, quiet melody; too quite to even really recognize the song. The lights in the house are dimmed and this could all be considered a romantic setting but in this case it wasn’t. I decide to break the silence between us.
“I spoke with Jamie’s therapist today.” I said and then took notice that it was two thirty in the morning. “Well yesterday” I smile, correcting myself.
“So, what’s the plan then?” He finished his tea and placed the cup on the coffee table.
“I’m meeting with him on Thursday at two in the afternoon. It will be at the therapist’s office, downtown.” I then explain about the security cameras and that I will be monitored the entire time, just in case.
“Good.” He states and then purses his lips. “Do you still want me there?”
“Yes. I would appreciate it very much if you could be.” I reply.
“Ok. I can maybe pick you up around noon and we could get lunch before hand, if you want, and then go over to the office together.” He looks down at his hands, unsure of the response I will give. I know he is hoping I’ll say yes, but is obviously apprehensive about the fact that he just asked me out to lunch.
“I’d like that.” I can see his body relax and he smiles with his eyes. He leans his head back on the couch and we return to our silence.
No more than ten minutes later, I begin to hear the familiar sound of Harry’s soft snores coming from his lips. I smile at the memory that those snores would keep me up on some nights. I don’t want to wake him and make him drive home so I ease myself off the couch and grab a pillow and blanket from the guest room and bring it back to him.
I gently lift his legs and place them on the couch and lay his head down on the pillow. He lightly hums and curls his body up onto his side. I lay the blanket over him and kneel down next to the couch. I sit on my feet and rest my arms on the cushions and just watch him for a few moments as his body goes into a deeper sleep.
He is so painfully beautiful and I remember spending many nights just watching as he slept. Watching as his lips would part and his chest would slowly rise and fall. This was the man that I loved with every ounce of my being. This was the man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. This was the man that I considered my soul mate and maybe still do. But this was also the man that broke my heart.
“I love you, Niall” He murmurs, so softly that it is hard to even make it out. It’s hard for me to decide if he is half asleep and half awake or if he is speaking in his sleep.
I lean over towards him slightly and card my fingers gently through his hair, moving it off of his forehead. I lightly press my lips to the very corner of his mouth and pull away. I slowly stand and head towards my room and to the comfort of my bed.