|Sarah's P.O.V|
Basically running down the hallway to get to the room Niall was in, I felt my heart drop, break, and pound very loudly all at the same time.
I haven't felt this way in years, and it was all for a different reason.
FLASHBACK
"I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing. Roman cavalry choirs are singing Be my mirror, my sword and shield my missionaries in a foreign field.." My voice echoed in my bare room. Moving day was today and I couldn't be less heart broken than I already was. I've grown up in this house since memories weren't foreign to me. All these great times are flooding through my mind quick, such as a slide show.
Tears started to sting in the corners of my eyes. It hurt, it did. I hardly cry, but when everything builds up and I can't hold it in much longer... I tend to explode. And this was happening right now. Suddenly I fell down onto my mattress which was laying on the floor. My head fell onto my knees and my hair surrounded me like a shield.
Every time I sucked in a sharp breath my heart broke off just a little more.
Why does he do this to me? I've done nothing to him and he treats me like I'm a piece of trash.
Fuck Niall Horan.
My thoughts left my head when a knock came from my door. As much as I wanted to hide, pretend I wasn't here, I knew I couldn't. My music was not loud enough to escape. I lifted my head up, knowing whoever was going to walk in was in for a surprise. I was still crying, but the person on the other side of the door needed in.
I wish it was easy, easy for me to speak to people again. My life is double sided. The outside of me speaks lies, and the inside builds up the truth... Very fast, and it sucked.
Not even saying a single word the door opened and appeared a messy blonde. His eyes met mine, a look of sadness and fear. I needed him as much as he needed me. It's crazy to say, my feelings for him were scattered around my brain. I feel hatred one moment and love the next.
"I'm sorry," he whispers closing my door softly. His blue eyes were softened. I wasn't sure if he was crying, but if he was my heart was only going to break more.
I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. What he has done to me, what he has put me through, he doesn't deserve. He doesn't deserve me.
But he does, and I need him.
My mouth begins the tremble as I open it slowly to speak, "Stop," is all I say.
He takes a couple steps closer to me. I want to jump back, but I'm already to the wall. The sickening thoughts running through my mind won't let me last here for more than two minutes. The window is right there and I'm ready to jump.
"Sarah, let me love you," Niall reaches out and grabs me by the waist. I don't struggle, I don't want to. My head is pounding so hard and I don't know what I want to do. Die, or be next to him.
I lay my head in his chest and just cry. I cry with all my might.
"Shh, baby it's all going to be alright now. Niall has you," he whispers, but suddenly the door is slammed opened and I'm jerked away from Niall's arms. I lose my balance and fall onto my mattress, bumping my head on the window. The pain doesn't even phase me.
My eyes return from the ground and to a angry looking sister. Niall's mood has changed to caring to being psychotic.
"Oh my god your sister is such a skank. She was trying to get in my pants, let's get out of here Logan."
END OF FLASHBACK
It's been five years now since I thought of that memory, the memory where Niall was too much of a pussy to tell my sister he was in love with me.
And not her, Logan.
He hurt me that night, almost to the point where I wanted to end my life, but it was also the night where he told Logan he was leaving.
I knew before her, I knew how much singing meant to him, she didn't. All she wanted was something to rub in my face and that's what Niall was for.
FLASHBACK 2 weeks before Niall Leaving
It was family game night, a normal Friday night at the Horan's. Not once so far has Niall tried to push pass me or run into me. It really was surprising since I was actually scoring tonight and playing good.
I'm not saying it is a bad thing he is ignoring, but sometimes I miss the occasional push or snotty comment. Niall was simply not acting himself and it was really bothering me. Logan didn't even seem to notice, she's honestly the worst girlfriend on earth.
Bobby, Niall's Dad calls a timeout. Most likely for a beer break with my dad. The timeout didn't bother me because it gave me a chance to sit down and text Chad.
Breathing a little heavier than usual, I stumble over to a patio chair and sit down comfortably. My phone was already sitting on the table so I grabbed it right away and began to reply back to people.
From the back of me, I heard Niall and Logan arguing like never before. I didn't really want to turn around, but I found it funny when they fought.
Casually turning around, my eyes met Niall's right away. My heart dropped fast before I wasted no time to turn back around and play on my phone.
Why was Niall starring at me?
He was literally spinning the soccer ball on his finger and staring at me while getting yelled at by my bitchy sister. What's his problem tonight?
"Yeah, yeah, can you go inside for a second? I uh got a surprise for you?" I barley heard Niall tell my sister. I knew right away he was telling her shit to get her way from him. Logan begging the dumb girl she is, she does what she is told and rudely walks past me calling me a name before shutting the patio door.
"Love you too," I whispered to myself even though Logan couldn't hear me. Niall must of because he laughed. His laugh jerked me out of my trance on my phone. I noticed Chad texted me back, but for some reason I was more interested in what happened with the two of them.
Niall walked up behind me, resting his hands on my shoulders. This surprised me a bit making me flinch.
"Follow me." He said before removing his hands. I didn't know what to think, but I got up and followed him.
Niall lead us to around the house were there was a small spot behind the bushes where nobody could see us. I was confused and Niall sure could tell I was.
That's when he began to explain.
"I have to tell you something." This wasn't Niall being mean or joking around, this was Niall being nice. He had my full attention.
Over the past week I've thought about the past years with Niall and I. We've been worst enemies, but have spent the most time with each other like best friends. He knows everything about me, and I know everything about him.
I realized how stupid this has been, him picking on me constantly. Violet pointed it out to me one day that Niall stares at me a lot and will do anything to talk to me.
As much as I have hated Niall all these years and all the pain he's caused me, a little spot inside of my heart made me sort of... like him?
I don't know, it's stupid and I'm pretty sure I am only thinking I do because of Violet. I shouldn't like him because I have Chad and everything, but there's something about Niall and I's relationship that isn't right...
"Okay" I said softly, motioning him to continue. The bushes and brink house was making me feel itchy.
I watched as Niall's eyes softened and then his lips parted, but he didn't say anything. He was completely silent.
"Is it about my sister? Or is it about you acting weird? You haven't pushed me once tonight." I say, already waiting for a rude comment. But no comment was thrown at me, only Niall's confused face.
"I uh- well- I don't know."
Why is Niall stumbling?
"You see-- um, uh-"
I looked at him, more confused than ever.
"Niall spit it out, you are acting so weird... this is not the Niall I know and hate." I say jokingly, even though I do kind of hate Niall for what he does to me.
About to nudge him, he stops me.
He stops me with his lips pressed against mine.
And I like it.
END OF FLASHBACK
It was stupid of me to let him kiss me back then. I let him into my heart and let him break it. Chad didn't know I technically cheated on him with his best friend, I didn't have the balls to tell him. Chad was my cover up for having feelings for Niall because I knew it would end up bad.
It did, shit hit the wall and since then it has been a whole heck of a lot better. Even though I'm balling my eyes out while standing in front of Niall Horan's door... seconds away from telling him I love him.
FLASHBACK
Then it began, the make out sessions, the less fighting and the secret compliments. I never would of thought I'd be falling for my worst enemy.
But the thing is, both of us were in a relationship. This fling between Niall and I was bound to be but to a stop soon. Whenever I seem happiest, something wrong is right behind the corner.
I should of seen it coming, but I didn't.
It was not a good day, well for me at least.
Chad was sick with the flu which left Niall open to say whatever he wanted to me without Chad being at school to hear. He obviously would make sure nobody was around either.
Usually we'd talk in between classes, like "how are you?" Niall would say it so softly to me, then I'd answer... right afterwards he'd make sure to say something mean to me to make it seem like nothing fishy was happening. But right after our 'fight' he'd mouth a 'sorry' while walking off.
It didn't bother me, I knew how he truly felt.
Sitting in study hall, looking over my chemistry notes I heard someone walking up behind me. Our study hall was located in the cafeteria which allowed people to walk around and talk without supervision. It's nice, but I earned it for being on honor roll.
Figuring it was a person that needed help with something, I was completely wrong when I turned around. Niall was standing behind me with a huge smile on his face.
Returning a confused smile back, I began to turn around to face him.
"What are you doing here? " I tried to ask kindly. Usually it was strange to find Niall and I together in school. He could give people the wrong idea about us.
I looked around, thankfully nobody was watching though.
Niall noticed I was looking around, but he didn't say anything about it and took a seat next to me. He looked like he had something important to tell me.
"I have to tell you something important." Guessed it.
My heart started to beat a little quicker, not knowing what this could possibly be about.
Niall took my hands in his, which surprised me... what is he doing?
Looking at him worryingly, he didn't seem to notice.
"I am auditioning for The X Factor." Once those words left his lips, my heart dropped.
A couple months ago I'd be so happy, but now... it feels like someone ripped out my heart and put it in my stomach.
I didn't like this feeling.
Trying to find something to say, I found myself lost for words. Niall kept looking at me, waiting for me to say something great back. The thing is, I didn't know what to say back, I didn't know how I felt.
Before I knew it, some kids were snickering behind us, I didn't know why, but quickly Niall took his hands away from mine.
Oh.
He stood up in disgust and began to fake puking up, going way over the top.
"Why are you all over me?!" He shouts, looking at me like he used to before. My insides twisted together, hurting. This Niall didn't seem like he was faking.... maybe he was, but suddenly I felt weak.
Like he hated me again and was trying to make me look pathetic...it sure worked which set me to tears. He didn't notice though because he started to walk away like nothing happened.
END OF FLASHBACK
My fist found it's way to the hard wood in front of me. I knocked twice, as hard as I could. The pain in my knuckles didn't even bother me, all I could feel was pain in my chest.
This was it, this is happening.
I waited a few seconds before the door slowly opened, revealing Harry with dripping wet hair. He didn't say anything to me, only stared with big eyes.
I didn't have time for explaining what's wrong, all I needed was Niall.
"Excuse me," I said to Harry, pushing past him a little rudely. He didn't say anything back, thanking him mentally for minding his business. I walked around the corner, knowing what I wanted was going to be face to face with me in seconds.
A few strides in, I heard Niall's voice.
"Harry, who is it--" And there he was, standing in sweatpants and a baggy shirt. His hair was a wreck and his eyes were a little watery. This made me notice his blotchy face and red nose.
I probably looked the same, even worse.
"Sarah-" I stopped him, I didn't want small talk, I needed to get this of my chest before I explode.
"Stop." I say harshly, a few tears trickle down my face. He steps back at my outburst, this makes me feel awful. Feeling my heart break a little more, I open my mouth.
Here it goes.
After five years of not seeing each other.
After eleven years of knowing each other.
After years of loving him, I'm finally ready.
"This might not be the perfect timing, but I could of died today." I stared him dead in the eyes. Every ounce of my confidence building up to express how I feel. I'm ready to explode.
"And all I thought about was you."
Here it comes.
"Niall, I'm truly, madly, deeply in love with you and I have been since you spilled a mild acid all over me."
-Authors Note-
Mom did it.
She finally said it.
Praise Jesus hallelujah.
Anyways I had like three days off of school because of freezing rain but I was so lazy that I didn't write like kms.
But I hope you liked this chapter :))
ALSO PLEASE CHECK OUT MY NEW STORY IM GOING TO START WRITING ITS CALLED Kaleb and Kimberley!!! MY FIRST CHAPTER WILL PROBS BE UP TONIGHT
Please vote and comment!
•Kiley