this morning, i found out that carrie fisher had past away. when i had first found out about the heart attack prior to her death, i had felt what could only be described as a cold feeling resting in my stomach. my prayers were to her family and i was so thankful that she had survived and i prayed for her speedy recovery.
but on tuesday at 8:55 am, carrie fisher died. when my mother first told me, i was in disbelief. ever since i was a young girl, star wars had been a sort of protection for me. princess leia was my role model and when i was old enough to watch other movies and explore the internet, i realized how much of an amazing person carrie fisher is.
when the dreadful fact settled in that she had died, i could not and would not stop crying. just when i had thought that the horrors of this year had ended. one of, if not the most, influential person in my life passed away. it causes me to be painfully aware of everyone's mortality.
carrie fisher will always be dear to me, and nothing can change that. she, and her family, will be in my prayers. one of my greatest legends is gone and I cannot stop fucking crying.
rest in peace my dear carrie fisher, my dear princess leia.