Her hands and feet were cold. Freezing, actually.
"Numb," She'd told me they felt.
The cold air was consistent, and uncomfortable, further leading me to grasp Rose's fingers, and draw circles on her palm with my thumb.
I watched intently as her body motioned towards me, it's last resort for restoring warmth. I couldn't do this.
"You have to," he spoke up, aggression in his tone.
"Rose," I stuttered out hopelessly, already feeling the muscles in my throat tighten as her hazel eyes, that were once watching endless cars roam by on the neighbourhood road, met mine.
After almost eight years...
"Let's talk for a little bit."
The glider bench beneath us rocked casually under her feet, as they pushed onto and then off of the cement to gain some momentum.
"Are you finally going to tell me what happened outside in the backyard yesterday?" Her voice muffled out into my chest.
I gulped in worry, "It has something to do with that..." I could feel her tense under me.
Rose's soft hair met my fingers as they combed through it, "Um, let's just talk about us."
This time her body turned to face me entirely, and I was unprepared by the anxious look on her face, "What about us, Ty?"
This was the moment I hadn't practiced in my head to the absolute core.
"Do it, Tyler. You have to."
There he was again.
"Do you ever wonder what it would be like if you didn't waste so much time on me?"
What the fuck, Tyler? Why did I just say that? Stupid...stupid.
"I don't understand, Tyler," Rose went to reach out for my hand, but I left her grasp and instead, buried my head into my hands.
"Babe, talk to me. What are you trying to say?"
I shook my head and stomped my feet onto the floor as I stood up haphazardly, startling Rose. "I-I don't -"
"Say it Tyler!"
"I can't be with you any longer."
Regret filled me entirely. The life that was in her had disappeared in that split moment. Her mouth opened slightly in shock, and she began shaking her head. Immediately after, Rose began to tear up, the cuffs on her sweater covering her face as she sniffled, "Tyler...how long have you been feeling like this?"
"Tell her a year."
"A year," I repeated, a feeling I could not explain erupting in my stomach as he stood behind her, mocking Rose and rolling his red eyes. The lump in my throat grew larger as I heard her voice crack at my words, her short tears now becoming endless sobs.
"Don't you dare even cry, Tyler."
I covered my face with my sleeve in order to hide it from him, not wanting to show him my developing tears.
"I've never wasted my time on you, ever, Ty. I don't - I just can't believe where this is all coming from. You've never shown me any signs of discomfort, or of having you completely fallen out of love with me. I-I -" Rose stopped to move the hair away from her face, and to gasp a few breaths in.
She shook her head, but I wanted her to continue, "You what, Rose?"
She turned away from me, concealing her face. "Rose...just say it. Please."
A pause fell upon us, "I thought we would get married, Tyler. I thought we would have little children that looked like us running at our feet. I was starting to picture all of the things we would do together in the future, because I thought you would be my future, Ty."
I could feel his presence behind me as I choked up, and sighed shakily, wiping my nose with my sleeve.
"Argh!" I screamed, turning to punch the nearest thing closest to me; the houses wooden column. The impact left the pillar untouched, but my hand was the complete mess.
My knuckles bled but I didn't care, the pain of hearing Rose explain her thoughts was a lot more to bare.
I could hear her small feet rushing over to me, taking my bruised hand and enveloping me into a tight embrace.
Rose was like that. It seemed that no matter the damage you did to her, she would still come to your aid if you were ever in need of help.
"I can help you fix up your hand, and once I'm done, I'll pack up and leave, I promise," She wasn't looking into my eyes, but down to the ground. She couldn't look at me.
As we entered inside, Josh peaked over the corner, "What was that noise outside?" And when his eyes found my hand, panic rose in him, "Tyler, what the hell happened?"
"Could you just leave us alone, please," I spit out harshly, my eyes cutting into his. I immediately regretted it, having it been the first thing I said to him this morning.
His lips closed shut, and he nodded defeatedly, turning his back and heading towards the living room.
"Go sit in the bathroom, I'll grab what I need," Rose ordered me.
"I think the aid kit is in the -"
"I know where it is," She interrupted, turning away to retrieve the box.
Now, my lips were closed shut. She was completely over it. I knew I wasn't though, I couldn't be. This wasn't what I wanted at all. Everything Rose said about our future, was what I had been imagining for us as well.
My ears perked up to the sound of her voice in the distance, "I'm leaving soon, Josh."
I couldn't make out what Josh had said back.
"He doesn't want anything to do with me. I'll let him explain the rest to you."
And then I'd shut the door, as my tears seemed to become never ending after hearing Rose's words.
"You don't need her, Tyler."
"Shut the fuck up," My voice dragged out carelessly, but I knew I would care later when I had to deal with his consequences.
I gathered myself as the door swung open.
My eyes never left her hands as they quickly opened up the antiseptic.
She'd given me no warning before completely drenching my hand in the horrid liquid. She looked lifeless as she kneeled in front of me, cleaning away the peeled skin, and grime that gathered underneath of it, as this was the hand that I had hurt yesterday as well. She had not took my pain into consideration whatsoever.
"Grab the end," Rose asserted, referring to the long, cotton bandage she was about to place over my hand. I obliged.
Seconds passed before she spoke up again, ordering me to "let go," as she began finishing up. She took the two ends and sealed them together with the metal clip, then stood up, cleaned the surrounding area, washed her hands, and left out the room.
As I tried to grasp her hand, she tucked it away from me, and continued on her way.
I wasn't used to this. Never has Rose acted this way towards me, and I couldn't blame her for it, I just hated it. I hated him, and his power over me. I hated that I was so weak to let Rose go.
My feet followed Rose into our bedroom, and I stood in the doorway, watching her blushed face wander around, grabbing everything she could remember to grab, her grey suitcase laying open on the bed.
I walked over to her, taking the shirts out of her hands without even thinking, "Rose, please..."
"Tyler, don't touch me right now," She took her t-shirts out from my grasp and threw them onto the suitcase.
"I don't want you to go, I just -"
"You just what, Tyler? Why are you being so confusing? Stop playing around with me. You can't tell me that you don't want to be with me, and then tell me you want me to stay. It doesn't work like that. Either you make up your mind, or we can just act like the eight years we've spent together never happened and move on."
The hurt in her eyes was all I could see as they stared hard into mine. She was so angry at me, so pained.
I stayed silent as he watched me intently from
behind her, and she took it as my response.
"Goodbye, Tyler."