Disclaimer!!!
I am human just like all of you readers, so please try to understand that sometimes life gets in the way. I am not trying to make any empty promises, but I try my best to stick to the update schedule.
I am very sorry for the late update. If you have nothing nice to say, please do not say anything at all.
Thank you!****
"Wake up, Luna," I hear a feminine voice says softly. Right away I know this is my nurse, without opening my eyes. I hear a click of the lamp next to me, letting brightness seep in through my closed eye lids. I don't even open my eyes, already knowing the routine. I hold my arm out to her. Her rough hand gently grabs my arm, pulling it towards her more. Velcro is heard and a blood pressure cuff is wrapped around my bicep.
Her name is Clara, she almost forty six which shows through her facial features, but not in a bad way. She has smile creases permanently indented near her eyes and mouth. Her eyes are a mossy green and she has nice thick chestnut hair that is starting to gray. She wears her hair in a ponytail, highlighting her most prominent features. Overall, she has soft facial features, matching her caring personality. She is much better than the other nurses here, the other nurses seem to very much bored with the job. There are plenty of nurses here, being that the pack hospital is pretty large. Not too large though, it has just one floor, but it is perfect for the size of the pack.
"All right, you are all set, and ready to go.This was your last checkup, you're as healthy as a wolf," Clara chirps, while undoing the Velcro. I open my eyes to see the women that I have come to think of as my friend. She gives me a look of understanding, seeing my lips set into a frown. She sits down on the hospital bed and I move my legs to make room for her.
"Honey I know, I know," She says softly looking at me with compassion. Before she can continue I cut her off.
"You don't know," I whisper looking up at the ceiling. I have gotten my voice back just a few days ago, It has been a week since I have woken up from my coma. The only people who come to see me is the nurses, or Xander. Whenever he comes the same thing always happens, I refuse to talk then he storms out in rage. Voices are powerful, but he has silenced my voice. I will not give him the pleasure of hearing me talk, I refuse to utter a single word to him.
Her fingers then grab my chin softly, making me face her. I look at her in the eyes, my eyes teary.
"You're right, I don't know. But what I do know is that I will always be here when you need me, so don't hesitate to give me a call." She says, then her eyes gloss over, as if she is recalling a memory.
"I just want you to know that I used to babysit Xander as a boy, and he was not always like this. I know what the rumors say, but despite the rumors, deep down he has a kind soul. He just doesn't know how to act around you, I could see it. You're breaking the walls he has built up. I used to try and reach out to him after the kidnapping incident, but he wouldn't talk to me, he wouldn't talk to anybody! He would just-"
"I don't care," I state, clearly angry that she is defending him. There are no excuses for his behavior.
"Lun-"
"No, I hate him. If you haven't noticed he is the reason I met you," I snarl pointing to my neck, "And don't call me that. I am not a Luna, especially not his Luna.
A clearing of a throat interrupts our little conversation.
We turn our heads to Xander, obviously he knows he was the topic of our discussion.
He nods at Clara, signaling her to leave. She stands up from the bed, nodding. Clara looks at me full of sorrow and mouths 'stay strong' she then walks to the door, but not before showing her neck in a sign of submission in which Xander gives her a curt nod in return. The click of the door is heard, which gives Xander the signal to speak.
"Hello Arabella, how are you feeling?" He gives me a hopeful look, hoping that I would respond, but I do not. "Still not speaking to me?"
Silence.
I close my eyes, wishing that he would just go away. I hear him breathing in and out, trying to control his anger, which in recent days he has been unsuccessful resulting in him storming out.
"I brought you a change of clothes, " He leaves the sentence hanging, probably leaving me room to respond.
"Come on, you can't be like this forever," He growls at me, baring his teeth at me. His eyes flick to black but quickly goes back to green in a flash. Ever since I have woken up he has become more attached to me. I want to scream at him to leave, but that would just mean he would win.
Instead of screaming at him like my brain is telling me to, I turn my head away from him. I rather stay here, in this hospital then be anywhere near him. I should be afraid of him, seeing as he almost killed me, but what more is there to be afraid of? What else can he really do?
Another growl is hear. Good, I made him angry. Maybe he will storm out and leave me be like he usually does. Then he would come back and apologize like he usually does, but by that time I would be gone.
I grin to myself, liking the little escape plan I made in my head just a few seconds ago. Obviously I know it is not going to work, but I rather die kicking and screaming then stay here and do nothing about my situation. I mean, I guess you miss the shots you don't take.
Without warning I am thrown up over his back. My stomach on his shoulder.
"Since you're not going to come willingly, I see, then I have to take you forcibly," Xander chuckles to himself, infuriating me. He finds this humorous!
I bang on his back and kick my legs with all my strength. He begins to walk, little giggles and chuckles are heard from around us, as I am forcibly taken by him. I roll my eyes at their immaturity while I bang my fists on Xander's hard back, willing him to let me go.
I see the tile soon turn into pavement as we exit the hospital. A small grunt comes out of Xander when my knee comes in contact with his stomach. A small smile creeps onto my face knowing I had inflicted some pain onto him, even if it is just a fraction of what he has done to me.
"Ouch, easy there doll face, we are almost there. You have become more feisty," He says while now holding my legs down. My face contorts into a look of disgust because of the nickname he gave me.
I stop squirming because his shoulder digs deeper into my rip cage every time I do so. Instead I let myself hang off of him like a rag doll, watching the grass beneath me. I do not know where we are going, but I do not even care.
In about five more minutes we stop. Xander lowers me down to the ground gently. The blood rushes back to my head making me dizzy. It takes me about thirty seconds to be able to look at my surroundings. It must be about eight 'o'clock in the morning. The morning dew can be smelled, giving the place a fresh woodsy feeling. Xander walks off to a barn that is located at my right.
We are in an open field, the wild grass swaying with the morning breeze. The only things that rest in this peaceful field is a pole in the middle of it, surrounded by grass, and the barn that is off to the side. The pole is too far away for me to see what it is for, but from here it looks like just a pole sitting in the middle of the field.
I hear a crunching sound next to me, making my head snap towards the noise. I see Xander standing with a whip, he looks at me with no emotion in his face.
"Let's go," he states while grabbing my bicep, pulling me up to my feet. He begins to walk towards the pole in the middle of the field. Grass tickles my legs, making me realize I never changed out of my hospital gown. That is the last of my concerns now. I begin to struggle, beginning to realize what the pole is for. It is for binding people to it when they are getting whipped. Fear of him crawls up my spine. No, now he is really going to end me, while inflicting the most pain as possible.
His grip on me does not halter though, as my struggling gets more and more the closer we get to the middle of the empty field. This place no longer feels peaceful, but rather deadly.
I pull back with all my force, seeing we are nearing the pole. His strength is no match for me, making me frustrated. I do not speak but rather, shake my head chanting the word 'no' over and over again. I will not beg him for mercy, I will not submit.
We stop in our tracks, encountering the silver pole that is rusting on the bottom. Grass sways on the blood splattered pole, letting those know what kind of pain it can enforce. A rope hangs about midway, the rope that will bind my hands together as my mate enforces his fury on me, it hangs midway intimidating me. It just reminds me how much power I really have.
Xander turns around and faces me. His hand still rests on my bicep firmly. He looks as me with hard determined eyes, the eyes that scare me, the eyes that belong to my mate. He raises his hand with the whip in it, and I flinch looking at the deadly weapon. Xander then does the least expected thing, he holds the whip out for me.
I stare at it in confusion, wondering what he wants me to do with the horrid thing. Xander looks and me with no expression.
"Take it," He rough voice instructs, his face void of any kind of emotion. Before I can even process what he is doing, he shoves the whip in his hand. He walks over with dignity, his posture perfect, as if he does not fear the whip he has given me. Xander then grabs his shirt with two hands on either side of the hem, and pulls his shirt up above his head. He throws his black t-shirt to the side off into the uncut grass. I have never seen his back in the daytime, and what I see scares me to no ends.
He has slashes upon slashes. Claw marks upon claw marks. There is no sign of untouched skin. Every inch of his back has been tainted. A tattoo of a large moon wraps around his back shoulder going to his peck. Patterns sprawl behind the moon, but they only cover up to half of his torso.
Xander interrupts my thoughts by walking to the pole. He kneels holding his hands to the pull, waiting for me to tie him up. He kneels. I do not think he has kneed before anyone, yet alone a female, yet alone the person he has tortured to no ends. But he kneels, letting me know how broken this man is on the inside. But looking at his scars, he is not just broken on the inside, but the outside.
I stand still, not moving. I know this could be my chance, my chance of revenge, my chance to inflict every ounce of pain to him like he has me.
He turns his head to me because he does not hear my footsteps coming.
"Do it Arabella, I deserve it," He whispers defeated. His eyes now full of sorrow.
Xander whispers, "Do it like I did to you. Hurt me like I hurt you. Bring me to the brink of death like I did you. No, do worse then I did you. Do twice as worse. I deserve it."
As I remember all of the torturous nights, bitterness starts to creep up into my heart. I want revenge. I want his blood. I walk over to him with fury, raising the whip, ready to inflict the most pain as possible. Before I bring it down to his already scarred back, I stop and realize what I am doing. Hurting him won't make me hurt any less. Revenge won't make me feel any better. I would just be as bad as him, letting revenge take over my life, my soul.
I drop to the ground, realizing the girl I have become. This is not me, the old me would not have even thought about that. Hating will just eat my heart up, just like it did Xander's. I am better than him, better than that. Because I do not mercilessly torture him does not make me weak, it makes me strong. It makes me stronger than him. With that thought I get up, placing the whip in front of him. He looks at me with confusion.
"Why?" My mate whispers that one word. That one word I only had one answer to.
"Because I'm not you."
***
VOTE & COMMENT
word count: 2340
I am very sorry for the late update, I have just been so busy for some reason. I try to stick to the updating schedule as much as possible. Thank you for your understanding, I will update tomorrow hopefully to make up for the extremely late update.
Secrets will be out in next chapter!
Thank you for reading, I appreciate all of you readers! You are the reason I got so motivated to write! So a huge thank you goes out to every single one of you.
Thank you all so much,
Amanda