The only thing I know is this: I am full of wounds and I'm still standing on my feet
Anka
"He will Just throw that card away...you know that...and you did a big mistake by giving him your phone number...Don't forget why you're here...Just don't...The rough part passed, now you just have a little more and it's done..."
This was the thing I kept on saying to myself for the last two years. A little bit more and it's all done. A little bit more and my freedom will be bought. I will be free to do whatever I want and I will be free to go wherever I want. I will get my life back and my friends and it will all be okay. No more lonely nights, no more crying myself to sleep.
"Hello. I'm looking for Mr. Lo. My name is Cella Hart. He is expecting me.", I said to the receptionist.
"One second.", she said making a call.
"No bother.", I said throwing a quick glance at myself in the hall mirror.
Lipstick on place. Hair ruffled, makeup not smudged. I looked perfect. A lady and a whore in the same time, I mentally said to myself.
The receptionist pressed some buttons on her phone and then she turned back to me.
"Mr. Lo is in his room. 249. He is expecting you Miss Hart."
"Thank you.", I said giving her a quick smile and heading straight to the elevator.
I arrived in front of the room and took a deep breath before knocking.
"Show time Anka."
I knocked at the door and I was greeted by a small man in his late forties. He was smelling of alcohol, cigarettes and aftershave, a disgusting smell I have hated from ever since I could remember. He showed me to the room. It was spacious and luxurious.
"Hello, how are you today?", I asked putting on the cutest smile on my face.
"Waiting for you Cella. So for two days. You think you're up for that?", he said pulling out an envelope.
"You know I am always up for everything.", I replied winking and taking the envelope from him.
"What? And no kiss? Come to daddy.", he said brutally pulling me closer to him.
"You know it's business first baby.", I replied kissing him back and taking the envelope from his hand.
I showed myself to the bathroom, counted and checked the money in it. Five thousand euros. I sent a text and then refreshed my lipstick. I took off my coat as well and my little black dress and looked at the two puncture marks on my left forearm. I knew what was going to happen and how things will go down. I will add another puncture mark to the other ones.
I stepped back into the room wearing nothing but my bra, panties, stockings and suspenders and of course, my high heels. I felt cheap and exposed, but my self esteem was so low anyway, so, I didn't care anymore.
"Now that's what I'm talking about. Help yourself from the bar while I make the lines.", he said giving me a wink while pulling out a bag with cocaine and downloading the whole content on the glass table.
I lit myself a cigarette and went straight to the bar. I poured myself a glass of whiskey. If it was going to go down like this, might as well go down the drain. As per usual, we will drink and do drugs and then he will try to fuck me, but will be frustrated that he can't get it hard. Then he will be unhappy that the cocaine won't keep us awake anymore so we will go for pills. And alcohol. And then repeat. Until we get to the heroin.
That was the worst part of the whole thing. I looked at the syringes in their cases and gulped.
I've always felt dirty after being around him. It would take me at least a day to recover after the massive amount of drugs I will ingest. But it was a small price to pay for my freedom. Only a few months more. Or to be precise, a hundred thousand euros more and I will be free.
The only thing I was well aware and afraid of was the heroin that I will take. My system was well used to all the pills and cocaine...But the heroin...I took it once and then again, and I always felt snappy when I didn't take drugs after taking heroin.
I had massive self control when it came to other drugs, heroin was the most dangerous. Whenever I finished with heroin I would just tie myself to the bed with the phone next to me and throw away the keys. It would take me a couple of days until I got back on track and I knew I had to call someone to come and untie me. But it was a necessary evil.
Things happened as I expected. I felt raped and filthy after I left the hotel. But I was five thousand euros richer. There was another small puncture right next to the other two that I already had.
My hands were shaking and as soon as I stepped into the cold air I felt sick to the stomach. I kept my composure though, thinking about my hotel room that was waiting for me. I just went straight for a taxi and I went to my own hotel. I walked passed the reception, into the lift, into my room and then straight to the bathroom where I kneeled under the cold shower with my clothes on, shaking.
"Come on Anka, you've been through this before. Snap out of it.", I tried comforting myself, nearly on the point of tears.
I crawled out of the shower and leaned on the toilet, water dripping from my dress, coat and hair. I had to make myself throw up. After several failed attempts I succeeded, then crawled back into the shower. I stood there for about forty five minutes or something like that. Then, I peeled off my wet clothes off me and decided that I was ready to have a proper shower.
I was feeling remotely better now. I went straight to the dark bedroom and fell into a deep sleep. I knew myself all too well, after drugs. Plus I loved the room I was sleeping in to be pitch dark. I was woken up by the phone a couple of hours later and by the fact that I felt the need to vomit again.
"How do you think I'm feeling? Like shit!...No I'm not having an attitude, I just threw my guts out again!..I came here for that money and the fact that he paid me a two week trip...he wants to see me again?When?...The weekend...okay..."
The second I hung up I started crying. I didn't want to go through that again...not that soon anyway,but I also had to buy my freedom. I just wanted to rip my skin off my bones in frustration...
Let's get one thing straight. Five years ago I decided to become an escort. I wanted to have a better life, for me and my loved ones. So, since I didn't know where to start with I decided to call a friend, that called another friend, one thing led to another and I ended up in Germany. I stayed there for about six months, prancing around in sky high stripper shoes and skimpy outfits. And then I flew to Ireland, England and France. But somehow I found Ireland to be my home. I did start to have a good life, the only downfall to it was that I wasn't actually that independent. I had a woman I was giving money to. For, helping me...you know, get the right connections..But I was slowly getting to the age where in my opinion I had enough, so I wanted to quit. Turned out it wasn't that easy. I had to pay up two hundred thousand euros. And now I was a the last hundred thousand. That was it. And this is how I ended up in Tokyo.
I heard my phone buzzing again and looked at the screen. Unknown. Who could it be?
"Hello?", I asked in a weary voice.
"Hello? Is this...Anka?", a woman's voice asked me.
"Yes...who is this?"
"...I am calling on behalf of Jared..."
My heart pounded at the name. I tried remembering if I had any client named Jared but my mind was blank. Could it be him?? But, then again, why was a woman calling me?
"Are you still there?", she giggled.
"Yes I'm still here. I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting this."
"Jared was wondering if you are free to join him for dinner..."
"Yes...sure...uhm...what time? And when?", I asked rubbing my temples.
"Would tonight, let's say...sevenish be okay?", she said in a giggly voice.
"Yes sure..."
"I will text you the details. Have a great day."
"Thanks...you too.", I said hanging up.
A couple of minutes later I got a text. It was a small and exclusive restaurant not far from Lo's hotel. I knew the restaurant. Lo was a regular there. I felt the urge to text that woman back and tell her I can't make it, but I really wanted to see Jared. Or to see if it's the Jared I was rooting for.
I started looking round the closet for something to wear and opted for a cute black, long sleeved overall and stilettos. I knew the sleeves would cover up the marks. With shaky hands, I proceeded with doing my hair and makeup. My hair was long, so it didn't need that much care, but I tried taming it as best I could. As for my makeup, it had to be....Something delicate, I didn't want to look cheap and also wanted to make a good impression.
I looked at myself satisfied. My hair had its natural curls, which made me have that 'sexy I just got out of bed looking like this look'. I just had a stroke of liner on my eyes, making them pop out a lot more and a shade of nude lipgloss.
I also took a sniff from my vile that I had in my wallet and then I put it back for safe keeping. That's the way things went. I had to look sober enough to keep a conversation going.
At half six I was out of my hotel and in a taxi. I had a bad feeling about things, but decided to go for it anyway.
I arrived at the restaurant and asked for Jared. He was already at the table browsing through his phone. A strand of hair was in his eye, making him look even more sweeter. He noticed me and stood up.
"You look amazing!", he said hugging me and kissing my cheek.
"Thank you.", I replied putting my clutch down and unbuttoning my coat.
Like a true gentleman he helped me out of my coat and with my seat, and I started wondering when was the last time someone ever did that for me.
"You know I thought I will have to turn Tokyo upside down to find you.", he joked.
"Well you would've had a lot of turning upside down to do.", I joked back.
"Did I tell you that you look stunning?"
"I can settle for amazing. It's fine. You don't have to compliment me.", I said.
"Do you always refuse compliments?", he asked putting his hand on top of mine.
"I'm rarely complimented.", I admitted.
"That's too bad. You should be complimented a lot more."
We kept on talking and talking. It was so easy to talk to him. And we would've talked a lot more if the waiter wouldn't have come to take our order.
Just as the waiter left my phone started ringing.
"You can answer it you know.", he said smiling.
"It's fine...", I said a bit nervous, as I took a quick glance at who was calling me.
"I think it's urgent. That person is calling you again...", he noticed.
I knew who was calling. I felt very nervous about how things will go. I knew she was going to cause a scene and I didn't want to scare him off or make him think less of me.
"Hello...no...when?...but...why?"
I looked behind me and saw Lo with a rigid expression on his face. And then I handed the phone to Jared.
"What's this all about?", he asked, taking the phone from my shaking hand.
"I'm so sorry...I shouldn't have been here...", I whispered, feeling my eyes water with tears.
"Yes, speaking...yes...yes she is with me...no, I don't know what she does for a living...ok...so what's the problem?...yes...", he said on a lower tone, turning himself away from me.
Jared kept on talking for a couple of minutes more, minutes that felt like hours, and then I heard him say.
"Ok, so how much for you to leave her alone?... A million dollars...look lady you don't know who you're messing with...what you're doing is illegal...I don't give a fuck if she agreed to it...I don't want to ruin my night....I will have my assistant call you to set up everything...but in my terms. Bye."
"What did you do? I shouldn't have come out to meet you. I told you I was trouble."
"Let's go to your hotel, to pack your bags. You're coming with me.", he said taking my hand in his.
"What?"
"You heard me. You're free. Now let's go Anka."