It had been a week or so since I hung out with Louis. I wanted to hang out with him again, but I didn't want to seem too eager. I was still unknown in this city and my friend list wasn't as long as I wished it was. He was about it for people I wanted to see right now.
I decided since I was feeling lonely that I should probably call my mom and dad, I haven't talked to them in such a long time, and I had to admit I'd been missing them. Even if we weren't passionately close, they were still my parents and I was still half way across the world from them.
I walked through my finished apartment to my bag in the kitchen. It was just past noon and I was still in my pyjamas, my hair up in a messy bun and no makeup. I hadn't bothered getting dressed because the only thing I had going was work at 8 tonight. Most of my days in London so far have been spent watching Netflix for 10 hours straight and then working 10 hours straight. I really needed to go out and meet some more friends, however I was fine with just Louis, and seeing Jamie, and Becca at work.
I fished my iPhone (which I always seemed to lose) out of my bag, and unlocked it. One message from Claire, *delete*. I didn't even bother reading it, she wasn't worth my time. She texted me constantly, and after the few first ones, I just began to ignore her. I did miss her a lot though; she was still technically my best friend. She betrayed me though, and I needed to stop worrying about it. A couple nights ago I was unpacking some more stuff. I found an old birthday card from her from when we were in grade 7. I tried my hardest not to read it, but I eventually gave in.
Dear Emma,
Okay so, you've been my closest friend since grade 4! Yay, that's a long time. I don't think we've ever even been in a fight? Yay, that's a good sign. You're always there for me, and I can always trust you! I love you so much Em. Friends for ever and ever!
Love, Claire
It was just a short message, but it was enough. Enough to make me start sobbing, the kind of sobbing that you do when you realize they won't be coming back.
I was so frustrated for her, like how can one even do that? Here I was half way across the world, if she knew it wasn't going to work out why couldn't she have given me a heads up? I'm angry at myself for barely being mad at her too. Overall I simply missed her and wanted her back in my life, but it was her who did it to me. It was her fault, and she hadn't even tried to defend me. In her mind it would always be her and a guy.
I wanted to cry and scream out to the world, but I know that wouldn't change a thing. The only thing that could change was me, and I didn't want to forgive her. It was up to her to fix this all.
I started to dial my mom's phone number, hoping that she would be awake. I had gotten a long distance package so that I could call her landline phone. She had also gotten a new laptop recently so we could video chat. It would be as if I hadn't left.
On the third ring, she answered.
"Hello?" It sounds as though she has just woken up.
"Hey, mom. It's me, Emma." My voice shakes, I'm not sure why I'm so nervous.
"Hello sweetheart, how's London been? How's Claire?" Of course. The first thing she brings up Claire.
"Well it's actually been quite good. I, uhm, I'm not living with Claire actually. We chose not to live together." More like she chose. "But, I'm living in my own apartment, it's quite nice, and my landlord got me a job too, which is great. I've met a couple people." I had no siblings so I usually told my mom everything. We felt more like coworkers than family, or like friends. We told everything without consequences. For some reason, I wanted to keep the Claire situation on the down low.
"Well I'm sorry things didn't work out with Claire, hun. That's good you have your own place! Meet anyone good?"
"I'm friends with Jamie and Becca, they work with me. I'm also friends with this guy Louis, he was at my work one day. We hung out the other day too. He's really nice."
"Is that it?" She asks, inferring that I sound like I'm leaving something out.
"Well..." Should I tell her about Harry? "I uhm, also met this guy, Harry. On my first day. He helped me get my apartment, and stuff. He was decent."
"But...?" She says impatiently.
"But he turned out to be a jerk who plays with different girls and then throws them aside when he's done with them." I say harshly.
"Wow, he sounds like a real gentleman." My mom comments sarcasm clear in her voice.
"Tell me about it," I roll my eyes. "But then again he's extremely sweet and he tries so desperately to do the right thing and help people. There's too many sides to him and I'm always unsure which part of him I'm going to get that day."
"Well sweetheart, some people aren't actually who they let on to be. If you get to know him maybe he's not who you think he is. Maybe that's just his exterior showing, try to find his interior. See what that hearts about because maybe he is trying to be the good guy. I got to leave for work hun, I'll video chat you later. Love you."
"Love you." And I hang up my phone.
Not who you think he is.
Not who I thought he was? I thought I already knew him, I've seen numerous guys like him, why would he be any different from them?
I was swiping up and down my contacts list looking for Louis' number. Thankfully we had texted a few times, and I had it saved in my phone now. I wasn't one that would often talk about my feelings, but I needed someone to take my mind off Harry. I click "call" and wait for him to answer.
A couple rings in I hear someone answer the phone.
"Hello?" The other side says. I know that voice anywhere. And it's certainly not Louis'.
*Harry's POV*
I was just starting to stop thinking about Emma. I had spent the last few days mopping around Louis' house. Louis finally snapped at me the other day.
"Are you going to keep doing this?" He says, staring at me.
"Doing what?" I ask, avoiding eye contact.
"Sitting around the house, feeling sorry for yourself because you lost a decent girl you never really had. It was your own fault." He shouts.
I look up at him, "She was decent. And impossible. She didn't even know who I really was. No one can be that good. That's like a clean slate with a girl, what if she was just playing dumb and she knew who I was? What if she was just trying to get to me and then she realized she couldn't?"
"No, she definitely had no idea. She says she doesn't have cable 'cause she just uses netflix so that gets rid of talk shows, and she almost always losses her phone while she's texting me so I'm not quite sure she's up to date with twitter and that. Other than netflix she's not too tech savvy. She didn't know our song on the radio, or if she did she doesn't know who's behind One Direction. Well, you need to decide for yourself." Louis says.
"Then I just her." I say roughly, realization finally hitting me that I'd lost her completely.
"I guess you'll just have to decide then." Louis speaks up.
"Decide what?"
"Decide whether she's worth going after, or if you need to get over her. I suggest you do it fast."
I had decided I needed to get over her. It's not like me to be like this, and I hate being like this. It was everything I stood against. And she was making me a complete sucker. I suppose that's why I was being rather rude to her after the other night. I was just angry she was so difficult to figure out and get to. Like she put up all her walls and refused to take them down.
Louis had just gotten up to find his cleats and his ball, we were going to play football soon with Niall. While he was gone his phone started ringing. I looked over, half expecting it to be Eleanor again, but when I read the screen I froze.
Emma.
How did he know Emma so well?
After quickly debating, I decided to pick it up.
"Hello?" The other side of the line is silent. "Emma, you there?"
She speaks, "why are you answering Louis' phone?"
"Why are you calling Louis' phone?" I reply back.
"Uhm. I wanted to know if he wanted to have lunch or something."
"He's busy."
"Well can I speak with him."
I stare at Louis as he walks back in the room, mouthing "who's on the phone?" I mouth back, "EMMA!"
"No."
"Why not?"
Louis speaks up, "Harry give me the phone!"
He reaches for it and I back away clutching the phone with my arms outstretched blocking him from reaching it. I don't understand why I'm being so defensive over the phone. I don't want him talking to Emma though. Louis hastily grabs my extended arm and finally takes the phone.
"Hey, Emma. How are you?" Louis says to her.
I mouth to him, "put it on speaker!" He shakes his head no at first, but I lunge for him and he quickly obeys.
"I'm alright, you?" She says.
"Fine, what's up?"
"I was wondering, uhm, if you wanted to go to lunch or something. I'm bored." Of course, she calls Lou when she's bored. Why doesn't she call me when she's bored?
"Sorry Em, I was going to play some football with the boys in a few."
"Oh." She replies.
"You can come if you like? Have you ever played?"
"Surprisingly, I have." Great. Of course she plays footy.
"Great. I'll text you the address. Just bring cleats, and wear work out gear or whatever." Louis tells her.
"Wait, Louis." She says, oh no.
"Yeah, Em?"
"Is Harry going to be there?"
Louis looks from his phone to me, back to his phone and back to me. He rubs his forehead, and scrapes his fingers through his messy hair. He knows if he tells her I'm coming that she won't come.
"No, I don't think so." He lies.
My eyes light up and all my plans of how to forget her fly out of my mind, I'll see Emma later.
a/n
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