I'm going to tell you a secret...you don't have to believe everything that pops into your head.
Jared didn't even look at me. He just mumbled a 'good morning' and sat next to Ella.
"What have you got there?"
"The article. And the photos. I was thinking of these ones. What do you think?", she said handing over a pile of photos.
"Yes, I like them. Did you pack your bags?", he asked Ella as he took another photo from her hand.
"Pack my bags? For what?"
"Tokyo. You booked two plane tickets, right?"
"Yes but I assumed they were for you and Clara...That's why I asked you for her name.", she said blushing slightly.
"Please change the name on one. And if you can't do that book them for the next flight.", concluded Jared.
"I will see what I can do. It shouldn't be a problem given the fact the flight is in six days.", she nodded, handing him over the finished version of the article and a red marker.
When he heard my name he acknowledged my presence as well. He just nodded, visibly annoyed and I just felt that tears were about to sting my eyes. I stood up and waved 'goodbye' to Ella , and decided to go back to the house and start packing. I went to my room and started to pull out my clothes from the dresser. Not that I had that many. I just stayed in the house all the time, so I didn't need too many to change into.
This was the end, I felt it creeping in rapidly. Jared got bored and decided to end things. But I didn't like the way things ended. I hated the thought of saying 'goodbye' for good. There's nothing good that could come out of that. Nothing good that could come out of a 'goodbye'.
Just as I turned round to grab a perfume I saw Jared standing in the door frame with an amused look on his face.
"What are you doing Clara?"
"Isn't it obvious?", I replied biting my lip.
"It is, but why? Your flight is tomorrow."
"It's not like we've been talking too much these last two days. You've been distant and I don't understand why. And I think it's the best way. For me to leave. I can book a hotel, and I can manage from there."
"Come here.", he said opening his arms.
I went towards him and let my head slowly on his chest.
"I want to show you something.", he whispered, nuzzling my hair.
He took me down the hallway and opened the door to a bright and spacious room, filled with paints, musical instruments and sheets of paper. In the middle of the room was a canvas. My eyes widened and I let out a big sob when seeing the person in the painting. It was me.
It was the exact opposite effect that Jared had hoped for a reaction.
"Hey, hey....look at me.", he said forcing me to look into his eyes.
"I can't...because I know what this means.", I managed to say through tears.
"You know it had to happen. Sooner or later. I'm doing this because I could end up fucking up your life. It's bad enough that you're cheating on your husband because of me. I can't do this. I can't let myself have more feelings for you than I already have."
"But..."
"No, it's best that way Clara.", he said slowly kissing me on the forehead.
I looked into his eyes and realised that the feeling was the same. He suffered just as much as I did. The timing between us was so bad. Too bad. We were good for each other, but we were also destroying us.
In any other circumstances, hell, we could've ended up growing old together! That is if Jared ever decided to commit to a serious relationship.
We spent the last day together. Like nothing happened. Like we weren't suffering. The next day he took me to the airport and kissed me one last time. And there he was gone the next minute. As if it was a dream...
Jared's POV
I knew that I did the right thing. And no matter how much it hurt to let her go I did it anyway. I wasn't the one for long goodbyes or sad breakups. I just took things as they went and how I felt they would end up right.
I headed to the office to see that Shannon and Ella were really bonding. What a difference a good talk with Shannon! They were laughing and sharing a cup of coffee together.
I decided to join them to ease my mind a little, plus, I felt a lot relieved that they were actually getting along and Shannon wasn't torturing her anymore. It was a good distraction to see them making funny faces and I knew that Ella would keep it professional in the same time.
"Ooooh long time no see! Look who decided to come back to life!", greeted Shannon.
Ella on the other hand looked really concerned.
"Jared are you okay?"
"I bet he is really tired Ella, nothing too bad. His little Irish friend took care of that."
"Shan!", she said gently slapping him.
"Am I missing something between you two?", I snapped.
Both of them looked at me confused. One moment I was scolding Shannon to be on his best behaviour regarding Ella, then the next, I was at their throats for being too friendly. Shannon left the cup on Ella's desk and followed me into my office.
"Jay is everything okay?"
"I let her go Shan."
"Come on Jay don't tell me you were falling for her! You did didn't you? Leto brothers don't do feelings remember? Plus I thought it would make you happy to see me and Ella getting along for a change.", he replied playing with a pen from my desk.
"Don't get too cozy with her. That's all I'm asking.", I replied tapping away at my laptop.
"Don't dodge the question little brother. You had feelings for that little Irish girl."
"I had, but what was the point of manifesting my feelings? Plus I don't think it was real love anyway."
"Well, you should really move on. You came, you saw, you conquered. End. Plus I think there is someone else who might be worthy of your undivided attention."
I frowned, while I saw Shannon point at the door, or more precisely who was behind that door.
"Don't even think that I like her more. But I think she really cares about you more than that girl ever did. At least you can be assured that she won't hurt you.", he added.
"Are you kidding me Shannon?! Snap back to reality please. I don't have time for office mingling or flirting and I don't encourage it. It will pass, this whole feeling of anxiety. I just want to be alone now."
Shannon nodded and went outside. I needed to be alone for now and I didn't want anyone to throw me a pity party. I did the right thing by letting go and that was it. I took a seat in the chair and started looking at the L.A skyline. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, both at night and at day. It soothes me and pulls me into it's magic.
Suddenly I'm woken up from my thoughts by a quick knock at the door. I turn around to see Ella, totally transformed. Her black shirt makes her look even paler than she usually is, and her eyes are red from tears. I immediately jumped in my panic mode. Something isn't right.
"Ella what happened? Come in. God are you okay?"
"Jared, I'm so sorry...can I take the day off?", she barely says, gutted by the tears.
"Ella what's wrong?"
"My mother. She is in hospital. She had a heart attack in the middle of the street. I know it's quite busy to..."
"What hospital is she in?"
"In the Los Angeles Community Hospital."
"Let's go.", I said grabbing her by the hand and storming out of the office.
Everyone stared at us in confusion. I texted Shannon to let him know what was going on and screamed at Josh to take in calls while I was out.
"What happened?", I asked her again while we were speeding off to the hospital.
"She just collapsed in the middle of the street. I can't lose her too! I just can't!", she managed to say through tears.
"It's all gonna be okay.", I said forgetting for a moment who she actually was.
"You don't understand don't you?"
And then it hit me. She's lost so much, so many people she loved. I never knew this kind of loss. I mean losing your grandparents cause they're old is one thing. But losing your kid, your husband, no Mayer how big a dirtbag he was, people that you love the way she has...well...it's not easy. It's unimaginable.
The second we got to the hospital, she jumped out of the car and rushed to the hospital reception. I tagged along the second I parked the car.
"Your mother is okay...for the moment...but if something like this happens again, she might not be so lucky."
"Can I see her?"
"For now she is resting. You can sit and wait here and a nurse will let you in as soon as she is awake. Okay?", said the receptionist with a faint smile on her face.
"Thank you."
She turned round to face me and hugged me tightly. I hugged her back.
"I've been here before...", she said softly.
"What? What do you mean?"
"I was here in the same hospital...twice, only in different wings...five years ago and then...three years ago...I came here to have Alice and to collect her body...talk about luck right?", she murmured bitterly.
"I don't know how it feels...I'm trying to understand..."
"You can't...not unless you have kids..."
I said nothing. Instead I hugged her again, inhaling her perfume and stroking her long brown hair gently.
After two hours of waiting we were let into her mother's ward. I could tell where Ella got her beautiful features. She was the spitting image of her mother.
They sat and talked for a little while and then Ella's mother went back to sleep.
"Is she gonna be okay?"
"I hope so...I really need a drink...", she said unbuttoning her top button of her shirt."
"We can go somewhere if you want."
"I can't go somewhere...you know that...not anywhere and definitely not with you..."
"So what do you suggest?"
"I will just go back home for now. I will come back later on to see how she is doing. Thank you so much for coming with me."
"If you want I can join you. You don't have to go alone through this.", I replied.
We arrived at her place and I was surprised at how beautiful it was. It was tastefully decorated in pale shades of violet and pink, with potpourri scattered in glass vases. The glass coffee table was filled with papers and files and I realised she often took her work back home.
"Water, juice, coffee, tea? I know you don't drink."
"Water. I'm down with that."
She came back holding a bottle of water and a glass of something that looked like whiskey.
"To the beginning of a wonderful friendship.", I said raising my bottle in the air and trying to cling with her glass.