(A/N- I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, for those of you who celebrate it. And for those who don't, I hope you had a wonderful 25th of December! :) The song in this chapter is called "Breakdown More" by Eric Hutchinson. He is so amazing. A very talented singer/songwriter. And is wonderful in concert. I've seen him a few times. You should check him out if you don't already know him. I have the lyric video for the song attached. Anyway, enjoy chapter 8 and the next update will be on Sunday! xx )
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“Got any big plans for the weekend?” Travis asked.
We have been in the studio every day this week working on new material and it has been going really well. I am surprised how well Travis and I gel, musically. He really understands my vision and I couldn’t be more appreciative.
“Not really big plans per say. Just going to a party on Saturday night.” I reply with a shrug. I may be slightly nervous about the whole thing because Ryan will be coming with me and it is Harry’s party but I don’t know Travis well enough to divulge my personal life in much detail.
“Harry Styles’ birthday party?” I cocked an eye brow at his response.
“Yeah. How did you know?” I inquired.
“I hear it’s going to be a big one. I’m actually going as well. I hear that best friend of his invited over a hundred people and you know each of those people will probably be brining someone, so it should be a huge turnout.”
“Wow. Didn’t think that it would be that large. I know Harry probably doesn’t like that idea.” I replied knowing very well that Harry isn’t one for large parties. He never has been.
“Well, I’m sure he won’t say anything about it. Harry’s too nice to mention it.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Harry usually goes along with any of Lou’s plans.”
“So, should we get back to it then?” He asks, looking at his watch.
“Sounds good.”
With another song written and our session slowing down, both of our brains overworked with notes, lyrics and melodies, I suggested calling it a day. I flipped through my leather bound note book, mindlessly.
“….Niall” I snapped my head up and looked at a chuckling Travis. “Must be something good in that little book of yours.”
“Not really. I must have zoned out for a minute.” I replied and closed the book.
“What’s in there?” He asked.
“Just a bunch of my ramblings. I usually fill one of these a year.”
“I figured. So, any more songs coming out of that thing then?” he points to the book. I shrug.
“I think that I have gotten all I could out of it. I can’t really make out anything else. I already have about eight songs from it and then about four of the ones we did together have some of the lyrics from in here.”
“Well, not that I want to pry into something as personal as your lyric journal, but a fresh set of eyes might bring something else off the pages and into a song.” I thought about his suggestion. I really thought about if I wanted someone else to read over all of the thoughts that I have had traveling through my mind over the last year. But I guess it couldn’t hurt.
“Maybe you’re right.” I conceded and handed the book, with its pages filled with blue and black ink, over to him. “I’m kinda tired. Let’s just pick this back up tomorrow, yeah? That will give you a chance to look it over tonight and see if you can come up with anything.”
“Sounds great. I’ll see what I can make of some of the things written. I’m sure there are great lyrics in here that you are just missing because you look through it all the time.” We say our goodbyes and a half hour later I am home and in bed. Sadly, it’s only a cat nap that I am allowing myself. I have a date with Ryan at seven and have to be up to get ready in about two hours. I am very happy to be seeing him and I am sure we will have a great time, but I just wish I could sleep all evening.
Ryan arrived just before seven and looked as handsome as ever. We greeted each other with a kiss and were out the door soon after and heading to the restaurant at which Ryan already made reservations.
“We really haven’t seen each other much this week, babe. I’ve missed you.” Ryan states and takes hold of my hand across the table while we are waiting for our food to arrive.
“I know” I sigh. “You’ve been really busy and so have I. I feel like we haven’t even talked that much.”
“So, darling…” he began with a posh accent, swirling his wine around in the glass, earning a smirk from me. “what have you been up to?”
“You know, the usual. I spent last night with Fredrico and the day with Antonio and after I finish with this boring dinner, I’ll be going with Priscilla to Monaco.” I quirk an eyebrow and wink.
“Good. That means I’ll have time alone with Anastasia for the next couple days. It’ll be good to be rid of ya.” My mouth drops open in fictitious shock and I pick an ice cube out of my glass of water and toss it at him. He ducks his head and the cube falls on the floor. We both begin to laugh and notice disapproving stares from other patrons of the restaurant sitting in our vicinity.
We reigned in our playful actions and began to discuss the actual events of each of our weeks, so far. After a few minutes I remembered that we never talked about the bonfire at Liam’s and that also means that I haven’t told him about Harry’s birthday party on Saturday.
We talked about his night out and my night with the boys at Liam’s and I was glad to hear that he had a good time with his friends. I decided now would be a good time to talk about the party.
“So, Harry’s birthday party is on Saturday night” I said.
“Really? That should be fun. You’re going right?”
“Actually, we’re going.” I replied and waited for his reaction.
“What? Are you sure that’s a good idea? What about Harry’s feelings?” He sweetly replied. Always thinking of other’s feelings over his own.
“Yes. It was Harry’s idea that you come with me.” His mouth dropped and I smiled.
“For real? Harry wants me there? Are you sure?”
“Yes, Ry. He is really trying to be my friend and I think him inviting you was the first big step for him. So, will you go with me?”
“Of course. If you want me there, that is.”
“I absolutely want you there with me, baby. Nothing would make me happier.” I brought our joined hands up to my mouth so I could kiss the back of his hand.
“Thank you” he replied with a smile. “I’d be happy to go with you.”
“Are you coming in?” I ask as he pulls up in front of my house after our dinner and movie date. He looks at his watch and then back at me.
“I probably shouldn’t. I have to be up super early to get to the studio and I am sure I wouldn’t get much sleep if I were to stay the night.” he winked.
“No. You definitely wouldn’t” I responded seductively and ran my hand down his chest, slowly, stopping just at the top of his jeans. I leaned my body close to his and pressed a kiss to the base of his jaw and then lightly licked the lobe of his ear. His breath hitched and his hand moved to grab the back of my hair. He looked deeply into my eyes and moved his lips onto mine.
After a few minutes of heavily kissing, I began to move my hand, still at the top of his jeans, lower and started to palm him through the fabric. He tilted his hips up to meet my hand and I applied more pressure. He moaned and I gently bit his bottom lip. I felt his grip on my hair tighten and he tilted my head to the side and worked down my jaw and neck with open mouth kisses.
The windows of the vehicle were becoming cloudy with steam and the soft music from the radio was being drowned out by our moans. We, after much hesitation, slowed down our actions - eventually coming to a full stop. Our breathing was still heavy and eyes still very much filled with lust as we rested our foreheads against one another.
He looked back down at his watch.
“That was the best fifteen minutes I’ve ever spent in this car.” He smirked and I laughed and placed another kiss on his lips.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, babe. Drive safe.” I place one more kiss on his lips and exit the car. He said goodbye and drove off.
I got right into bed and looked over at my alarm clock. I set it for eight in the morning, allowing me plenty of time to get to the studio by ten. I lay my head on my pillow and look at the clock once more; 12:01 AM is what the bright red numbers and letter read. I thought about it for a minute and then it came to me. It is officially the first of February. It is officially Harry’s birthday.
Without a second thought, I grabbed my phone and began typing.
To: Harry
Happy Birthday, old man!! ;)
I received a response right away and smiled.
To: Niall
Yeah, I get fitted for my prosthetic hip tomorrow. ;)
To: Harry
Haha. Really!? I would have thought you needed a hearing aid. I mean, I would’ve called to wish you a happy birthday but you’re hearing isn’t what it used to be, so I figured it best that I text.
To: Niall
Very funny, wise guy. But seriously, thank you. I appreciate it and am happy that you remembered. You’re the first to wish me a happy birthday. You even beat Lou.
To: Harry
Well I’m glad I’m first. I’ll have to rub that fact into Louis’ face when I see him next. I guess I’ll see you on Saturday night. I hope you have a really great birthday, Harry! Goodnight!
To: Niall
I’m sure Lou will really appreciate that and I’ll laugh! Thank you again, Ni. And yes, I’ll see you on Saturday. Have a good night! x
Ok. So he sent ‘a kiss’ with that last message. Probably nothing to it. Just a slip up on his part or even something that he meant in a friendly way. I mean, I send a text kiss or two to Lou, Liam and Zayn on occasion so I shouldn’t really be reading too much into his little ‘x’. I set my phone back on the charger and close my eyes, ready for sleep.
“I totally have something. You are so brilliant, Niall. I can’t believe that you didn’t see these lyrics. Once I put all of the fragments together, it made perfect sense and I think this may be a hit. It’s a perfect song. I’ll play you what I have come up with and then we can spend the afternoon perfecting it. Sound good?” Travis said excitedly and I responded to his excitement with a smile.
“Sounds great. I’m looking forward to what you found.” He hands me the lyrics, typed out and I look them over quickly. Recognition of the words that are typed in front of me are flashing through my head and hitting emotions that I haven’t held in a long time.
I remember what I was feeling after the breakup when I wrote the words ‘give me a reason and I won’t break down.’ I also remember, around that same time, thinking that I can’t do any of this without Harry when I jotted down ‘I can’t write my words, when I don’t have you’. I remember those days and those words clearly and felt like giving it all up because, even though it was my decision, I no longer had Harry. I also know the pain he was going through and the look on his face when I walked away, so when I wrote the words ‘how could you leave me, just when you see me crying’; I wrote those on behalf of him, because of my guilt for ending what we had.
I continue to read what Travis arranged and I looked up at him, obviously waiting for my reaction, and I smiled. Regardless of how personal and painful these words were, he really did come up with a beautiful and heartfelt song. I see him visibly relax and smile.
“So here are the chords I’ve come up with to accompany it.” I nod and he begins playing. I let the strings on the guitar make the melody for a few minutes and then I finally, with the paper full of my lyrics in my hand, begin to sing.
“It’s really great” I smile. We have spent the last few hours filling in any spots that needed something extra, coming up with a few new lyrics to add to it and tweaking it to perfection. Travis agrees and suggests that we record it to make a rough cut of the song for the label.
Another hour has passed and we have completed with the initial recording of it and by that time I am ready to sleep. I gather my things and thank Travis again and let him know that I’ll see him on Saturday night at Harry’s party.
“I’m glad you came over” I smile and place a kiss on Ryan’s lips. It was a late night for the both of us and he didn’t arrive until about eleven this evening and we weren’t naïve in thinking that we just wanted to cuddle. No, this was a physical visit. This evening was dripping with half met passion and lust from last night’s date that were never fully fulfilled. However Ryan, being the terribly sweet boyfriend, insisted on a little bit of romance and sweet nothings spoken between us first; when I just really wanted to take him into my room and have my way with him.
“Can I hear what you and Travis did today? Play something for me?” He asked while softly massaging my back. I lightly moaned and rolled my head back in pleasure. His hands felt amazing and I didn’t want them to stop.
“Can I?” He asks again and places a kiss at the base of my neck.
“Sure” I reply softly and turn my face to his and kiss his lips and remain lingering there for a few moments. I then stand, place a kiss on his forehead and walk to the other side of the living room to get my guitar. He sits up straighter on the couch and I take a seat next to him and we both turn our bodies in towards each other. I get situated and begin to strum out the chords to the song that Travis and I completed today.
“……how could you leave me? How could you leave me? Now you’ll never see me. Give me a reason and I won’t breakdown. Give me a reason and I won’t breakdown. If you go, I’ll never be found. You gotta, give me a reason and I won’t breakdown.”
I continue on with the song and eventually after about three minutes the song is completed and I play the last chord.
“What do you think?” I ask with a nervous smile. He smiles brightly.
“Ni, that was a beautiful song. I loved it. You are so talented. I’m proud of you, baby” He removes the guitar from my lap and climbs onto to the spot that was just occupied by my guitar; straddling my hips. I smirk up at him and he grabs either side of my face.
“I’ll sing sappy songs more often if this is the reaction I get” I then wink and he chuckles; lower his face towards mine and our lips press together, finally.