It is October 11th, National Coming Out Day. I am homoflexible. There, I'm out. After school let out, I rush home and impatiently wait for my email to load. When it finally turns on my heart starts beating faster. I see an email from Sleepy.
To: never_ending_morning_alarm@gmail.com
From: always_asleep@gmail.com
Subject: Re: halloween
Hello, Eunwoo.
I do love Halloween. I don't think there is anyone who dislikes halloween. If there is there is, I don't know them. Halloween is the best holiday for me. It is when I get all of my house decorations. I get to dress up and be myself without people bullying me.
I don't think I am ready to meet in person though. I am scared. I have things I have to sort out first. I don't know how long that will take.
I'm sorry. Eventually we can, but not yet.
From,
Sleepy
To:always_asleep@gmail.com
From: never_ending_morning_alarm_@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Re: halloween
I agree that Halloween is the best holiday. I know no one that doesn't like halloween. As far as I know, everyone likes halloween.
It's okay. It is a little early and I can wait. I just hope that we can meet before the end of the school year.
From,
Enwoo
I took a deep breath and sent it. I sat back and smiled. I love talking to Sleepy. He goes to my school, but I don't know who he is, and he doesn't know who I am. It is okay like this. It makes him feel safe and that is all that matters to me. I don't care about anything but him feeling safe.
We started talking in August on the school forums. It started when he commented something and I replied to it. I asked for his email and he gave it to me in private message. I emailed him, and boom, we are friends. I think I may be liking him. We have a lot in common and I feel like I can trust him with everything.
I go and get dinner at about 4:00 after watching a few episodes of It's Okay That's Love. I got the food and went back to my room. I sit at my laptop and refreshed my email to see if he emailed back yet. I start eating and see that he did. I get excited. I read it.
To: never_ending_morning_alarm_@gmail.com
From: always_asleep@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Re: Re: halloween
Thank you for understanding. I really do want to meet you, I just am not ready yet. I am excited to meet you in person eventually but not yet. You are super kind, caring, and you seem like you have an amazing person. I just don't feel comfortable to meet you yet. I'm afraid that this will end up like the last time this happened to me.
With care,
Sleepy
To: always_asleep@gmail.com
From: never_ending_morning_alarm_@gmail.com
Subject: Getting to know you
I have been thinking. We don't know that much about each other and I have a few questions I want to know. Don't worry, none of them are about your identity. I just want to get to know you better as a person. Is that okay? I don't want to push the limits and accidentally break our unspoken rules. I just want to know if you are willing to let me into your life as a friend and maybe someday more.
Always,
Enwoo