When I walk in the room, the musical director, Gideon Burke, introduces himself before he takes his place behind the piano.
Daniel and I chat for a bit about my past with any musical training and if I'm comfortable reading sheet music.
I tell him I am and that I have been doing musical theatre since I was a kid.
I don't tell him about Carnegie. I don't tell him about how I lost my voice.
I tell him that I've missed musical theatre and would love to get back into it.
Which isn't a lie, despite my silence for almost a year.
Daniel tells me I can give my sheet music to Gideon and take my place on the duct tape X they've placed on the floor. I follow his instructions and before I feel completely ready, Gideon begins to play my song.
However, while I hadn't been mentally ready, I had been physically ready. It was as if my body had been hungry for this moment, wanting nothing more than to sing again. To perform for someone, even if it was just an audience of two.
I close my eyes as I sing, feeling the words flow out of me as I hit every note as I had rehearsed. It almost feels like I 'm floating, or even sitting in the audience as I watch myself perform.
I'm almost not ready to stop singing, wanting to run the whole song instead of the 32 bar requirement I was given. But the song ends and I end with it.
I open my eyes as I look at Daniel watching me from the table. It didn't occur to me until then that I had been crying throughout my entire song. However, the unexpected release of emotions doesn't surprise me.
Daniel and I wait in silence for a moment as I let out a few sniffs and wipe my eyes, anticipating what he might say. His expression is unreadable and I'm suddenly worried that he hated my piece.
Maybe I had actually blacked out and it wasn't as strong as I had hoped.
But then he clears his throat and only says two words.
"Callbacks. Friday."
When I leave the room I feel like I could collapse on the ground due to the emotional rollercoaster. I just sent myself on. However, I manage to keep my wobbling legs moving as I greet Nat and she begins to spit one word out after another.
Something about how she could hear my from out in the lobby and that I sounded amazing. And why I never told her I could sing like that. And why I hadn't decided to sing with Liam and the rest of the band.
But my head is clouded and the only clear thought is focused on a single person.
I lift my puffy eyes as I begin to look around the lobby, hoping to see him leaning against a nearby wall with that smirk spread across his face.
The kind that says, "I told you so."
But he's nowhere to be found. I begin to wonder if he was even really here at all.
Until Nat tells me that he left.