The next two days went by fast. Poppy and Libby spent Thursday night with me at work while all the guys had soccer practice. They have their first game tomorrow away to Meadow Park an hours drive from here but we have our first game at home against Sky Academy so we made plans through text to all go over to Mitch's tomorrow night to have take out. Poppy and Max have a date so she won't be there or might come over later on.
I pick up my stick and close my locked but I'm pushed from behind into it. Turning around I come face to face with Lydia and Zoe.
"Oops don't know how that happened it's not like I could miss an elephant standing in front of me" Lydia laughs and Zoe joins in.
"Seriously Lydia? What age are you eight?" I say brushing past her but she grabs my shoulder spinning me around.
"I wasn't finished!" She shouts "you better leave Noah alone! He might be your friend but he is going to be my boyfriend sooner or later. We're texting all the time and I know he wants me so you better back off!" She says pushing a finger into my chest.
Little does she know! I laugh out loud and stare at her.
"Go ahead Lydia!" I brush past her.
"I don't know what your offering the guys in the school to talk to you or even look at you but it won't last Holly! Who would want a freak like you." She sneers " your just a charity case!" She shoulder bumps past me speed walking away.
"Don't think I haven't notice the looks you and Finn have been giving each other." Zoe stops to whisper into my ear. "Did you know we kissed last weekend?" What? My body runs cold at the thought of him being anywhere near her. He wouldn't. Would he? I look at her and she smiles. "I didn't think so" she says chuckling walking off to catch up with Lydia while I stay rooted to the spot.
He wouldn't do that to me. He knows how much I hate her. But we weren't going out then so he could do whatever he liked, right? I don't want to believe what she says but what reason does she have to lie?
I feel myself all tense and tears burning behind my eyes at the thought of them together so recently but I pick my head up and walk towards the field acting like nothing was said, I don't want her to know she has gotten to me.
Practice went well and although I was distracted at times we seem to be getting tighter in defence and are beginning to understand how each other plays. Lydia and Zoe are still being selfish with the ball but I managed to swipe Zoe's feet from her during our practice game which brought a smile to my face. We should be ready on Saturday.
Poppy had went home with Max and Kayden after school so I decided to get Chinese for dinner and head home.
Bing
Sam: hey that's me back! Tried to get your mom but no answer.
Back? Back from where? I didn't know he was away anywhere, Mum has said she has been over at his during the week I'm sure? Or was that last week? Maybe she's right and we haven't seen each other that much lately, at least we can get a catch up tonight.
"That's me home!" I shout letting my mum and Poppy know I'm back but I can't hear anyone moving around.
Going into the kitchen I put the food on the counter and head up to my room to shower and change.
I pack my bag for the game tomorrow so I'm not rushing around and head down stairs to put a wash on. There was still no sign of anyone so I decide to go and search for Poppy.
Knocking on her door I can hear her walking around but no answer so I open the door and go in. She's dancing around her room with her headphones on tidying up. I lean against the open door and laugh. She turns around in one of her twists and spots me letting out a shriek!
"Holly you weirdo!! Why are you just standing there watching me" she shouts taking her headphones off holding her chest.
I'm bent over laughing at her with tears in my eyes holding my stomach. "Stop laughing at me" she says hitting my head and I fend her off. "I nearly wet my pants!" She scoffs but joins in laughing.
"I shouted to you when I got back with dinner but no one answered and I did knock but obviously you were busy" I gasp out trying to calm down pointing at her.
"What did you get for dinner?" She asks rubbing her stomach.
I roll my eyes at her. Where does she put it all the girl is a gannet! She is so petit but could eat her body weight in food and not put on a pound. So unfair. "Chinese. It's in the kitchen do you want to come down now?" I ask
"Sure"
"Have you seen mum?" I ask. "Her car is there but she didn't answer when I shouted.
"Maybe she went out a walk?" Poppy says walking past me out the door and I follow behind.
"You go and set everything out i'll go check her room." I say heading towards my Mums room.
I knock the door but there's no answer. Deciding to check if she's maybe on the phone or something I poke my head in slowly.
The first thing I notice is how dark it is but then I noticed the stale smell in the room. Is she sleeping? I can see her on the bed and walk over to her. I kick something on my way and look down to see it was a bottle of wine. Looking around the floor I can see at least five more bottles and some cans of beer lying around.
Suddenly getting flash backs to that night two years ago when I found her in here unconscious from the amount she had drank and unsure if she had taken an overdose.
I begin to panic and walk over to her in the bed. The first thing I do is check that she is breathing and let out a huge breath I hadn't realised I had been holding when I see she is in fact sleeping.
Shaking her she moans but doesn't wake up. "Mum! Mum!" I say in a shaky breath. Please let theses bottles and cans be from days ago.
"Mum wake up dinner is here!" I say in her ear not wanting to frighten her but she just waves me off.
"Mum come on" I say getting frustrated now that she has been drinking again and hiding it.
No wonder I couldn't find any drink the other night. She has been hiding it in here. Has she even been to work this week? Thinking back I can't remember seeing her at breakfast or her car moving from the spot it's in tonight. Has she been sacked?
"Mum!" I say angrily mainly for her lying to us but also at myself for not noticing sooner. I've been so wrapped up in my own little bubble I've been ignoring the signs.
"Fuck off!" She shouts. Not good! My mum has a fiery temper with that Scottish blood running through her. "Get out my room!"
"Mum get up!" I shout pulling at the covers
She sits up and turns to look at me settling her bloodshot eyes in my direction. Looking at her I can see she's still in the clothes I seen her in on Wednesday night.
"Have you been to work?" I ask taking in her greasy hair and rumpled clothes.
"Nope!" She says popping the p like a child. "What do you care anyway I could of rotted away in here and you wouldn't have even noticed. You and your sister are ungrateful bitches!" She sneers getting out of the bed and coming towards me making me take a step back from her shaky form.
"You are just like your father. He only ever cared about himself and ignored everything else around him that he didn't want to deal with." She spits at me and I can smell the drink on her breath.
"Whatever Mum just get a shower and come and have dinner and a family night." I say trying to change the subject and keep her calm.
"And why would I want to do that? To sit and be ignored or given evil eyes by you and your sister once you tell her I've been drinking. I may aswell just stay here where I can drink in peace" she says flapping her arms around.
"Look mum, Sam texted to say he has been trying to get you so why don't you get ready and see him if you don't want to spend time with us" this seemed to hit a nerve and before I knew it she was in my face and had ahold of my hair pulling it hard.
"Don't you dare even think about telling Sam about me drinking. He's the only good thing I have going on in my life and if you fuck that up by telling him I will never forgive you!" She growls into my face and I can't help but hiss at the pain in my head from her pulling on the strands and tears start to fall.
I put my hand up to cover hers and squeeze it to try and get her to let go but she only tugs again. "Mum your hurting me let me go" I plead.
"You think you can use Sam as a threat to try and get me to do what you want? We'll think again. He's probably been away cheating on me like your father did so I don't even want to see him right now either untill I'm ready. Do you know how much it hurts me to see you all pally with your dad after everything he put me through? After all the hurt and heartache you still think he's the best thing since slice bread when I'm the one knocking my pan in trying to keep a roof over our heads and food on our table while he has his perfect little family. Well news flash! Your dad didn't want you. He only wants Carol and his precious son Alex but your too blind to see that he couldn't give a rats arse about you or Poppy!" She hisses out and shoves me away letting go of my hair and I fall to the ground hitting my back on the chest of drawers.
"He doesn't bother with either of you or pay a thing for you. Why don't you ask him next time he see's you why he never calls or spends time with you! Carol hates that he has any connections with me through you and soon enough she will get her way and your dad will cut you both completely out of his life. And who will be there for you? Me! That's who but you both treat me like dirt because I have a drink now and again and don't appreciate anything I do!" She shouts.
I can't say her words don't hurt me because they do. My Dad has been acting strange ever since he got with Carol. When my mum and dad first broke up he seen us every weekend and had us at least one over night then Carol came along and it was only weekends we would see him then it was one day a week and now it's whenever Carol is busy he will make time for us.
"We do appreciate you Mum" I say standing up rubbing my back. "we love you and know how hard you work for us. And we don't think dad is amazing we hardly ever see him. Your right we don't like when you drink because you become some one who we don't want to be around but we thought you were doing well and Sam has been so good for you that I guess we thought you were alright" I say walking towards her putting my hand on her shoulder but she pushes it away.
"Don't feel sorry now because I made you see how much of a shit daughter you are!" She sneers
That's it!
"Shit daughter? Who's the one who looks after you when you have got in a mess and can't get yourself home? Who cleans up after you when your sick or puts you to bed when you can't get there yourself! Who was the one who took care of you when you had drank so much you were unconscious but didn't want to go to the hospital when you woke up? Who's the one who has been there for Poppy because you couldn't because you were drunk off your face and could even look after yourself? ME!! That's who if anyone is shit it you!" I say shouting in her face.
I didn't even see it coming but the next minute she slapped me across the face and launched herself at me. I was screaming and pushing her to get off me but she kept trying to grab at me pulling my hair and clothes. I cover my face with hands not wanting to hurt her or be hurt. Even though she is my mum I know that it's the drink that's made her loose her senses and I don't want the guilt of injuring my mum. I love her.
"You little shit! Think you can come in here and speak to me like that!" She shouts still trying to get ahold on me but I keep squirming out of her grip trying to do as little damage as possible.
"Mum!" I hear Poppy shout as the door flies open. "Mum get off her!" I can feel the weight lessen on me as Poppy pulls her back. "What's going on here?" She demands standing between us.
Instead of saying anything my mum grabs a bottle of wine off her dresser and runs into her ensuite locking the door.
"Let's get out of here" I say grabbing Poppy's hand as she stares on numbly but follows me out the bedroom. I head to my room and tell her to pack an overnight bag with some things and I do the same.
We get in my car and I let the tears fall. Poppy leans over and hugs me to her.
"What happened Holly? I've never seen her like that before?" She asks while stroking my hair.
I don't think I can say anything and I don't know what to do now. I'm scared she will do something silly because of her guilt and drink herself into oblivion but I also don't want to be anywhere near her.
Deciding someone needs to watch her I text Sam. I tell him we've had a argument but don't tell him all the details and ask him to go check on her but not to say I sent him. He agrees and asks if I'm ok but I don't respond because I don't know how I feel.
Putting my phone in my pocket I pat Poppy on her shoulder to let her know I'm ok but I can't seem to stop the tears from falling. "I think I'm going to go to Noah's. He knows Mum drinks and I don't feel like explaining anything to the others do you want to come and stay with Libby?" I ask through sobs.
"Do you want me to come with you? I was going to go to Max's? He knows about mum" she says with a worried look.
"I just want to go to sleep so you should go to Max's I think we should give mum some space and I'll text Sam tomorrow after my game to see how things are so ask if you can stay the weekend or go to Ruby's that ok?" She nods looking at me with a pained expression. "What is it?" I ask.
"Your face is a bit of a mess" she says reaching out to me but I pull back. I don't want to know right now I just want to go.
Starting the car I drive to Kayden's house to drop her off. "Please don't tell Kayden anything if he asks just say I'm with Noah, but don't let on about anything else" I plead.
"I won't" she says hugging me. "You sure your alright? I can come with you if you want".
I just nod and look ahead out the windscreen. "I'll be at the game tomorrow. You can let me know what you want to do then about tomorrow night" she says patting my shoulder getting out the car.
I watch her walk up the path and wave before I head to Noah's. Picking up my phone I dial him.
"Hey!" He greets happily.
"Hi, can I stay tonight?" I ask trying to keep all emotion out of my voice.
"What wrong?" He asks worriedly and I can hear him moving around his room probably looking for his shoes to come get me.
"Nothing" I say quickly. "I'm ten minutes away. Can't I come see my boyfriend?" I say trying to smile.
There is a long pause "see you soon" he says thoughtfully.
I hang up and push the blinding tears out my eyes and drive to Noah's. I know I probably shouldn't be driving but I want to be away from that house and my mum and in Noah's arms.
Why would she go off like that with me? I do care about her and worry, why would she think I didn't? She knows dad and I don't get on so why would she be jealous? But most of all why would she physically hurt me? I've never seen her so mad in my life, well not directed at me anyway.
I hope I didn't hurt her when I was trying to get her off me.
Pulling up at Noah's I grab my kit bag and over night bag and get out the car. I hadn't even shut my door and Noah had me wrapped in his arms.
I instantly felt safe and pressed myself into him letting the tears fall loudly in his arms.