[a/n right, before you guys read this I need you to know that this chapter seriously goes from 0 to 100 real fucking quick okay? if you don't think you can handle it, please don't read. Or maybe just mentally prepare yourself. oh and i'm seeing 5sos in 6 days if anyone was interested.]
When Ashton awoke the next morning, it took him a few seconds to figure out where he was. The boy breathed a sigh of relief and rolled over, only to be met with the love of his life staring right back at him. Memories of last night came flooding back to him as he raised his hand and softly caressed Michael's cheek; everything in this moment was so perfect, he never wanted it to end. The coloured-haired boy grabbed Ashton's hips and pulled him closer, pecking his lips.
"Morning baby," Michael spoke softly. "We should get up and get ready."
Ashton groaned and nuzzled his head into the crook of Michael's neck. "Ready for what?"
"I'm taking you out to breakfast." He told Ashton simply before reaching over and grabbing his phone off the side table, eyes widening when seeing the time. "Or in this case, brunch." As Michael went to get up, Ashton grabbed his hand and pulled him back down so that Michael was on top of him.
"Five more minutes, please," Ashton begged and Michael couldn't resist the hopeful look in his eyes.
"Alright, but just because I love you." Ashton discretely spread his legs, giving Michael access to lay between them. It wasn't because he wanted something to happen, but because he wanted to feel closer to him.
"I love you, too. And I loved doing what we did last night with you." Ashton stated, looking at Michael with fondness.
"You mean; you love it when I fuck you?" Michael joked, Ashton slapping his chest.
"Don't be so vulgar!" Ashton yelled playfully and Michael just laughed.
"But yes. I love it when you fuck me," Ashton spoke in a teasing tone and grinned when seeing the look on Michael's face.
"Let's just go for round two, fuck breakfast." As Michael went to kiss him, Ashton quickly tilted his head.
"Oh, no. Times up." The curly-haired boy wriggled from underneath Michael and the boy reluctantly hopped off him. When Ashton stood up, he whimpered at the pain in his bum and he heard Michael snigger from behind him.
"Shut up," Ashton snapped at him as he bent down to pick up his boxers and jeans, Michael having a perfect view of his bare ass. As he watched Ashton get dressed into the clothes he was wearing yesterday, his eyes scanned up and down his body to assess the damage of their activities from last night. He had red marks on his hips and ass from Michael gripping them and hickies lingered up and down his neck and throat. Michael felt smug about that.
As Ashton was changing, he looked in Michael's mirror and examined himself. He stared at himself for a moment, not moving and Michael seemed to pick up on his change of attitude.
"You okay?" Michael enquired and Ashton glanced at him for a moment before looking back in the mirror.
"Yeah, it's just..." He sighed. "It's weird having marks on me that I haven't done myself." Michael frowned, standing up from the bed and walked over to him, wrapping his arms around Ashton's waist.
"I meant it last night and I mean it now. Even with scars, I still think you're beautiful, okay?" Michael left a kiss on Ashton's neck below his ear.
"You don't think I ruined my body? Because I—" Ashton giggled slightly when Michael cut him off with a kiss to his lips.
"You haven't ruined anything, babe. If anything, your body now tells a story of everything you've been through." Ashton smiled a little and nodded. "But, I don't want you hurting yourself any more. I know you can't promise, but please try for me."
"I'll try,"
_
"Ashton!" Anne shouted as soon as the boys walked through the front door making Ashton flinch. "Where were you last night? You didn't even call— what's that on your neck?" Ashton rolled his eyes and let go of Michael's hand before walking straight past Anne and up the stairs to take a shower.
"Ash stayed at my place last night since you weren't home." Michael articulated.
"Oh, okay well thank you for taking care of him. I'm guessing you two...?" Anne suggested, the coloured-haired boy scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.
"Yeah, we did."
"So you're together then?" Michael nodded.
"Um, aren't you... angry? You know, that I took your son's virginity?" Anne shook her head and smiled.
"I know that you love him, of course I'm not angry." Michael felt relieved that she wasn't angry, although he didn't know why. It's not like they needed her approval.
"Can I offer you a coffee or cup of tea?" She offered.
"Coffee?" She nodded and they made their way into the kitchen. After Anne made the coffee, they sat and talked mostly about Ashton and his progress until Ashton got out of the shower which seemed to be taking quite a while. After about half an hour, Michael was beginning to grow worried.
"I'm gonna go and check on him." Michael said and went to stand up, however Anne stopped him.
"Wait, take this." Michael immediately shook his head when Anne pulled out money from her purse and handed it to him.
"I'm really grateful for everything you've done for—" She stopped talking and her eyes widened. Michael looked at her in confusion and followed to where her eyes were looking. And so, he turned around and his heart dropped when seeing Ashton standing there looking completely heart broken.
Ashton's lips quivered and he felt as though his heart was shattering into a million pieces. "Y-you f-fucking piece of shit,"
"No, no, Ash this isn't what it looks like," Michael told him and went to move closer, but Ashton just moved away.
"Get away from me!" Ashton yelled, tears rolling down his cheeks.
"Please, Ashton, I wasn't gonna take the money!" Michael yelled in a pleading tone.
"H-how could you do this to me?" Ashton asked quietly, not even knowing how the day ended up like this.
"I wasn't going to take the money, let's just talk about this, please." Michael begged. He was desperate for Ashton to believe him.
"I actually thought you loved me..." Ashton laughed dryly. "I don't blame you though. I mean, who could?"
"Stop it. I love you more than anything, you know that!"
"No. I don't." Ashton retorted. "I thought I knew, but..." The boy sounded absolutely drained and it terrified Michael.
"Can we just talk about this?"
"I don't wanna talk,"
"Fine, then just listen."
"I don't wanna do that either." Michael knew this was a losing battle, but it didn't make it hurt any less.
"I want you to leave," Ashton suddenly spoke up and what he said hurt Michael. He thought Ashton trusted him.
"I thought you trusted—"
"Get out! Please, just get out!" Ashton shouted and Michael jumped at the outburst.
"Alright, but we're talking about this later okay?" Ashton didn't say anything when Michael hesitantly walked over to him and pecked his cheek, however he did feel himself break inside.
Once Michael had walked out the door, he looked towards his mother who was just watching the argument unravel. He honestly wanted nothing to do with her, he couldn't believe she gave him that money and gave him the opportunity to betray his trust.
"Don't you have work to get to?" Ashton snapped at her.
"Ashton, he wasn't gonna take the—"
"I don't wanna hear it!" He cried. Anne sighed, but grabbed her bag and car keys before walking out the door and leaving him standing there. As soon as he heard the door slam his lip quivered and he broke down into sobs.
He felt hopeless. He didn't know whether or not to believe Michael, it was hard for him to trust anyone. Was he telling the truth? There was no way he could know for sure and if he chose to believe him, he could still be lying. And if he didn't, it'd be over between them. Ashton didn't know what to do without Michael, he truly believed that he'd always have the boy to guide him through everything.
The realisation that he had no one anymore hit him and he no longer felt like he had anything to live for. He was only going to try and get better for Michael, but now that he didn't have Michael anymore there was no reason to. There was no way he could do this on his own and he didn't want to. The world was disgusting and he truly believed that he'd be happier if he just ended it. He had the control to end it. Nothing could get in his way. f he'd just did it right the first time, he wouldn't be falling apart right now. He wouldn't be falling apart right now. He wouldn't be in pain.
This was it.
The boy stood up and made his way up the stairs and into his mother's room, searching through her draws until he finally came across what he was looking for. Sleeping pills. It wasn't a very good hiding spot, she probably thought he was stupid. The boy quickly grabbed them and walked back into his bedroom, locking the door behind him. Ashton walked over to his own draw and grabbed out the pre written suicide note he'd written months ago. He read through it, leaving a few tear drops here and there and decided that there was nothing he needed to change. He still meant every word even if he didn't want to.
The boy placed the note on his bed and made his way into the bathroom, bringing the pills with him. Without hesitation, he unscrewed the cap and poured a small number of pills into his hand before putting a few in at a time and swallowing some water and doing it over again until all of the pills were gone. He gagged a couple times but managed to make it back to his bed before lying down and closing his eyes, waiting for the peaceful silence of death.
He didn't know how long he was laying there when he finally felt the pills starting to work. However, then he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He weakly grabbed it and looked at who was calling, although it was quite difficult because he was due to pass out at any moment. Luke's name was on the screen. He was thinking of ignoring it, but then he may suspect that something was wrong. So, he unwillingly answered.
"Hello?" Ashton spoke drowsily.
"Hey, Ash," Luke's cheery voice came through the receiver.
"Um, w-what's up?" The boy was trying his best to sound normal, but he knew Luke wasn't buying it because of what he said next.
"Are you alright? You sound a bit... tired," Ashton's eyes were slowly closing and he knew it wouldn't be long now.
"I-I'm fine, I didn't sleep much last night,"
"Okay..." Luke spoke, still unconvinced. "Anyway, can you come over to Calum's? He has something he wants to tell you."
"About..." Ashton paused, trying to stay awake for just a little longer to end this conversation smoothly without raising suspicions. "About what?"
"He'd rather tell you in person. When can you get here?" Luke asked hopefully and he could no longer keep his eyes open.
"I-I... can't..." Ashton whispered.
"Can't what?" Luke enquired, panic spiking his tone. Silence.
"Ash?" The blonde choked out. Still nothing.
And in that very moment, Luke knew. Calum knew by looking at the expression on Luke's face. Michael knew, not because of either Luke or Calum. But because he always knew.
Ashton was gone.
[a/n are any of you crying? because I am. Ya'll probably hate me but this was always how the story was gonna end, I didn't just put there for the heck of it. and hey, if anyone needs closer i may do an ultimate ending.
so there's one more chapter after this, which is the epilogue and i wanted to ask a question.
inline comment here what songs + lyrics remind you of this story because i'm making a playlist!]