After my lunch with Milo I felt in a good mood. We had been texting back and forth between classes about random stuff and I found that he was really funny and made me laugh out loud which wasn't so good in class and caused me to get a few strange looks.
Closing my locker I head towards the girls changing rooms to get ready for hockey practice.
Heading out of the cubicle I bump into someone. "Argh! I hope you can still fit into your uniform Mackay! You nearly knocked me off my feet there" Lydia says in disgust. I just continue to walk past her. "What's wrong with you" she says following me "can't look me in the eye because you know that Noah wants me and not you" she says with a smirk "we were talking last night and I'm sure it won't be long before I make him mine" she says stalking toward me Noah was talking to her? He hates her? "soon a'll have the two things you want most. To be the captain of this hockey team and to be Noah's girlfriend. It must suck knowing no one wants you" she laughs and Zoe joins in walking up beside her.
"Your welcome to Noah but there is now way he will go for a skank like you, as for the being captain, well we'll see how that works out for you, this team isn't full of your little minions this year Lydia and you aren't as well liked as you want to think you are. Your mask is slipping and people are starting to see the ugly underneath" with that I walk on leaving her shocked, feeling proud of myself for finally saying something back to her after all the shit I have put up with over the years.
"Whatever fatty!" She shouts but I let it just wash over me and continue to my locker where Libby is standing.
"That. Was. Amazing!" She screeches "you are my hero Holly Mackay" she says pretending to bow to me and I swat her away.
"I am sick of her thinking she can have everything she wants, even though she probably can I wasn't taking it this time" I say stuffing my things in my locker and picking up my stick heading toward the field.
"How are you?" Libby asks concerned.
"I'm fine why?"
"Well you still haven't spoken to any of the guys"
"I know but I will, I just need time. I'm not ready to talk to them and for me to forgive them I need to talk to them and I don't think I can yet" I say pleading silently that she'll drop the subject.
"Okay, but can you do it soon? Living with Noah in this mood is giving me a headache and having to sit with all of them at lunch while they just stare into space is freaky. Theo and I left them today and I don't even think they noticed" she says "talking about lunch where did you go?" She asks cocking an eyebrow at me
"I went to my spot and had lunch with Milo" I say with a sly smile knowing she is about to freak.
"You what?? Why am I just hearing about this now?" She says grabbing my arm to make me stop.
"I took your advice and came out of my comfort zone" I say patting her on the back. taking her hand we continue walking while I told her everything that happened, leaving out seeing the guys.
"That's brilliant Holly! Do you like him?"
"He's hot! And it was nice to have nice attention from a guy that wasn't one of the guys but I don't know if there is anything there but I'm enjoying chatting to him if that means anything" I say blushing
"That means loads coming from you Holly, you don't usually do that kind of stuff so it's brilliant! I want to be kept up to date with everything that happens from now on as soon as it happens" she laughs
"Okay but I doubt anything will happen he was just being nice because I was there"
"Mhmm"
"Right Ladies!" Coach shout "everyone over here!" We walk over and stand in front of her. Once everyone has arrived she starts. "As you all know we have a friendly home game against Springvale on Saturday. They are one of the strongest teams in the league this year and will allow us to see how we fair against them. We have a really strong team this year and you need to choose a Captain you feel will lead us to victory. Someone who will motivate and inspire the team and nurture you to the best of your abilities. Before we start today I want everyone to take a piece of paper and write down the name of the player you feel will be that Captain the runner up with be your Vice Captain. I will announce who it is after practice" with that she started to hand out the pieces of paper. "And no you cannot put your own name down. I will know if you do" she says handing paper to Lydia and Zoe which makes me giggle.
I don't even need to think about it and write down Libby's name. She might have been away for a couple of years but since she came back she has done everything she can to help me with the new girls, teaching them and making them feel included. Folding up my paper I hand it back to Coach Turner and wait for Libby and head over to the field when I feel someone knock into my shoulder "Watch it thunder thighs" Lydia sneers stalking off towards the field.
Sighing I straighten myself and loop my arm through Libby's "don't mind her" she says.
"You know what Libby? I've decided I'm not letting her ruin this year. After all the crap I've been through she's the least of my worries. I know I'm overweight but if that's all she can pick on then I must be alright" I laugh
"You're something else Hols" she says rolling her eyes.
Practice went well, I feel we're ready for Saturday. As long as Lydia and Zoe stop trying to be selfish with the ball and defence stays tight we should manage to hold them off as Grace in goals is amazing with her lightening speed reflexes. "Everyone over here" Coach shouts " I will open the votes here, organise them and then count them so that you can all be present for a fair vote and I have added my own vote into the pile"
Opening all the votes she began to place them into piles. "You excited" Libby asks bouncing on the spot
"Not really" I shrug " it's going to be Lydia or Zoe, next year the girls will hopefully get someone they want to be their Captain" I state
"Don't be so pessimistic all the girls in the team apart those two love you! Again you don't see yourself like others do and let your bloody insecurities take over" she says flicking me on the nose.
"Ow! Don't do that!" I say trying to do it back to her starting to giggle. "What you doing after this?" I ask rubbing my nose
"Theo is waiting for me and we're heading for some dinner. Do you wanna come?"
Not wanting to be a third wheel I shake my head. "No, no it's ok-"
"Right ladies! The Vice Captain of the team this year will be ... Libby Jacobson"
Amazing!!!
Turning to Libby i see her frozen in her spot, I grab her and start to hug her jumping up and down. "Libby that's amazing! Well done!! "
"Oh my god! Thanks everyone!" Libby shouts to the team, all of the girls except Zoe and Lydia run over and congratulate her telling her they are so happy she will be helping to teach and train them. Looking over to them I could see them frantically talking to each other shooting daggers over at Lib.
"Ok, ok everyone quieten down we still need to announce your Captain. This year your Captain will be...Holly Mackay" coach states nodding and smiling at me.
Did she just say my name?
Staring at coach I try to understand what she was saying. I'm going to be captain this year? Me?
Suddenly I am tackled to the ground. Looking up I see Libby on top of me! "Aahhhhh Holly your the Captain! Can you believe it? Me and you! The gruesome twosome back together, even bigger and better!!" She screams in my face hugging me "this year really is going to be amazing!!" She says getting off me and pulling me up.
Once standing the rest of the team rush over and congratulate me hugging me and patting me on the back, Zoe and Lydia are no where to be seen. "there is a god" I hear in my ear and look to see Grace smiling beside me "I thought for sure Lydia and Zoe had blackmailed the girls and we would of been in their shadows all season. I'm really happy for you Holly you are exactly what this team needs" she hugs me and heads to the changing rooms not giving me a chance to say thanks.
Once everyone has calmed down and start to head to the changing room Libby and I start to head too. I can't believe it! I know I said I didn't care but being Captain has always been something I've wanted and now it's finally happened. I'm going to put my all into this year.
"Jacobson, Mackay" coach shouts waving us over. "Well done girls. You both deserve this. You have been part of this team from the very start. Holly you have so much passion and enthusiasm for the game I'm sure you can inspire and motivate the girls. Libby you have come back and fit right in as if you have never been away and your patience and understanding for the new girls will help to nurture and guide them. Both of you together are a fantastic mix and don't forget that no matter what anyone says. I have a feeling you may have a couple of people who won't like this outcome but just remember you are who the girls voted for and deserve it." She says smiling patting us on the back "a'll see you on Saturday" she says walking away.
"I can't believe it Holly, we have both wanted this since the first day we picked up those hockey sticks in freshman year"
"I know Lib! Let take this team all the way" I say hugging her into my side while we walk.
"All the way baby!" She shouts wiggling her bum and we start to do some booty pops laughing continuing on our way to get changed.
"I don't know how you both did it but there is no way that I am taking orders for both of you" Lydia sneers as we come up to her and Zoe.
"Come on Lydia. I don't like you and you don't like me but if you had been given the position I would of accepted it and moved on can you not do the same?" I ask honestly
"You aren't even a good player, you can't even run fast with those big thighs of yours and who wants to see you in a skirt?" She laughs
"Lucky for me it's not all about running but stamina and skill and it's a sport not a fashion show so I don't care what I look like in the skirt it's just my kit. If you want to look pretty you should just stick to cheerleading or modelling not hockey Lydia" I state
"Don't mess with me Holly, I can make your life here a misery" she scowls
"You don't bother me any more Lydia. I've decided that there are worse things in life than dealing with petty drama in high school and bullies who think they're better than everyone else. If you had a genuine reason not to like me then I could maybe understand your behaviour but the fact that you treat me like shit for no reason makes me feel sorry for you." I say and continue to walk past leaving her once again surprised by my words. I'm sure I will regret pulling her up later but right now I was so excited about what the rest of the year will hold.
"I know I said it before but I will say it again. You are my hero!" Libby laughs "this deserves a celebration" she states " we are going to the party this weekend to mark the beginning of the sport season and I will not take no for an answer" she states with her hands on her hips.
I hate parties. People get drunk and do stupid things and I end up having to hold Libby's hair while she pukes her guts up or having to carry one of the guys to my car and take them home that's why I stopped going, that and the fact the I have seen what drinking does to a person from my Mum. Once you get the taste for it, it can consume you and I don't want to take the risk. But I don't need to drink I suppose? I could stay sober and still enjoy myself and get out my comfort zone once more?
"Okay" I say smiling
"Okay? Did you just say okay to going to a party? I had a whole speech about why we should go and all the positives you sure you don't want to hear it?" She laughs
"Nah, I'm ok I will just agree to go instead of my ears bleeding with all your moaning" I laugh.
"This is going to be great! Theo and the guys will all be there and can start the season right!" She says excitedly heading into a cubicle to get changed and I follow in to another.
The guys. As soon as I realised what coach was saying I wanted to tell them all about it and then I had a pang in my chest realising that I didn't know what was happening between us anymore. I had been avoiding them and hadn't given them a chance to discuss everything. Being captain of my hockey team in my senior year is a big deal and I want them to share it with me.
Waiting for Libby to come outside I decided that I am going to talk to the guys tonight about everything.
"Ready to go?" Libby asks walking out the changing rooms
"Yea, and by the way, I'm going to talk to the guys tonight" I say smiling when I see her big smile
"That's great! They'll want to celebrate with you. They'll be so proud of you"
"Yea Ano" I whisper.
Walking out to the car park I see all the guys standing off to the side. Theo walks off from them and heads towards Libby and I.
"Congratulations girls!" He says hugging us both "you guys will have a fantastic season. We've been watching you and you are really strong"
"Thanks Theo" i say "I'm gonna head off. See you both tomorrow"
"See ya pretty girl" Theo says with a wink and I just smile back knowing there is nothing in the comment.
"Bye bestie!" Libby says hugging and shaking me from side to side. I walk off laughing heading towards the guys.
Just as I'm about to head over I notice Finn sitting against Mitch's car with Zoe in between his legs with her palms on his chest. looking away to see where the rest of the guys were I notice that Lydia is draped over Noah playing with her hair and his top button while Mitch and Kayden appear deep in flirty conversation with two other girls I recognise from the cheerleading squad.
Seeing them I feel my blood run cold and I start to sweat. My head begins to proud and I think my heart if going to fall to my feet.
Why would they tell me they want something more from me and tell me that they don't want anyone else to then just continue on as always. There was me thinking I had got it all wrong and I had over reacted and it was my fault for the fall out but this has just shown me that they really don't want me but don't want anyone else to have me.
Turning to head away from them back to my car hoping not to be seen I start to walk away but my stupid shaking hands make me drop my stick and boots. "Shit" Bending to pick them up I hear footsteps on the gravel heading towards me and look up to see Noah squatting down beside me.
"Do you need some help?" He asks with a smirk.
"No. I don't need anything from you. I don't need anything from all of you" I say in a deadly whisper.
"Holly what's wrong?" He asks with a concerned expressions.
"Why don't you just go back with the rest of the guys and continue what you all do best. You don't want to let Lydia get the wrong idea" I spit grabbing my gear and standing up.
"Holly they came over to talk to us, that's all" he says grabbing my hand to stop me from leaving.
"Well Finn looks awful cozy" I say jerking my head in his direction where Zoe hasn't moved "and I don't see how talking requires you to talk inches apart like them" I say nodding to Mitch and Kayden " and don't think I didn't notice you and Lydia. " I say snatching my hand away "it's my fault. I thought that maybe I had got it wrong and you guys actually did want something more but seeing you all just now I realise that I was actually right about you. You guys don't want me, you just don't want anyone else to have me!" I shout the last part and turn to walk away.
"Holly wait-"
I cut him off by flipping him the bird over my shoulder and stomp off to my car. Opening it up, I fling my kit into the backseat and jump in starting the engine and drive off, wiping angrily at my tears that have decided to spring a leak.
Why did i let me myself have hope?