The week went by in a blur and before I knew it, it was Friday again and I was cleaning out fridges at work.
I had managed to evade Libby's questions during the week focusing on my class work or talking to other people in my classes or making conversations with Finn during lunch. I didn't mean to pull away again from Noah, Mitch and Kayden but I didn't know how to act around them all at once. I have texted them during the week but avoided any situation that might leave us alone. Mum and Sam seem to be getting on great and it's so nice to see her happy she is going out again tonight with him and Poppy and Max have their first official date tonight so I'm looking forward to going home, munching on a bag of Cheetos and a bottle of Diet Coke and Oreos perfect Friday Night!
Wanting to finish everything before Miranda comes to lock up I work quickly wiping down counters and restocking. I clean down the coffee machine dancing and singing to Tove Lo- Cool Girl playing from the speakers :
"No, let's not put a label on it.Let's keep it fun. We don't put a label on it. So we can run free, yeah. I wanna be free like you. I'm a, I'm a, I'm a cool girl, I'm a, I'm a cool girl" I sing swaying my hips in time to the beat.
Suddenly a pair of hands are on my hips swaying with me, "Now those dance moves I give a ten out of ten, you could make a man weak at the knees with those moves Hols" Finn whispers into my ear.
Gasping I turn around and push his chest, "shit Finn!! I nearly had a heart attack! How did you get in here so quietly I never heard the bell go off" I say flustered unable to understand if it is due to the fright or the tingles that ignited over my skin from Finns hands on my waist.
"That's probably due to you singing your heart out" he says with a laugh "I'm down for some fun if you want to bring those moves out again" he says waggling his eyebrows at me.
"Get stuffed!" I shout throwing the dirty tea towel at him but he dodges it before it can make contact, stupid cat like reflexes he has. "As much as I love seeing you what you doing here? Do you not have a date tonight?" It's a Friday night he always has a date.
"Yea, with Sarah from my Chem class but their was no chemistry there." He says laughing at his own joke. "We went to an early showing at the cinema then I dropped her off home so thought I would pop in and keep you company while you closed up" he says sitting on the counter
"Wow, you are such a romantic! I hope I can find someone who treats me to a early movie and no dinner" I mock holding my hand at my heart fluttering my eyelashes at him and laugh.
"Hey! I can be romantic if I want but what's the point in dragging things out when it's not going anywhere. I am a great date a'll have you know" he says with a serious face
This makes me laugh harder and I bend over clutching my knees to steady myself.
"What's so funny? He asks
"You seem so angry about me slagging your dating skills it just made me laugh, I'm sorry" I I say moving in between his knees cuddling him "I bet you are a great date. It's just because lately you seem to end up here instead of out with a girl I thought you were maybe having a bad spell" I say looking up with a smile and wink at him which makes him smile.
"How about I prove to you I can be a good date?" He asks
"What do you mean?" I say stepping back from him.
"Let me show you how I would do a good date?"
"When?"
"How about right now? Mandy should be here soon to lock up right? So we can go do something once she arrives. What do you think?" He asks with a hopeful expression
Is he asking me out on a date? No way! He definitely only sees me as a friend. He's the player of the group.
Playing along I say "Okay, give it your best shot Romeo" with a wink.
I finish cleaning up and go through the back to change. We stand at the counter waiting for Miranda to show up making small talk before leaving.
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Walking out into the cool night breeze Finn takes my hand and leads me over to his truck opening the door for me,
"After you my lady" he says bowing holding the door open.
"Why thank you kind sir" I say brushing past him getting into his truck. He closes the door and jogs round to the the drivers side getting in and starting the car. I put my seatbelt on and pull my hair out of its high ponytail letting my long wavy hair hang free. I massage my scalp to rid me off my headache from having it pulled too tight moaning at the relief I feel.
"Everything ok over there?" Finn asks with a raised eyebrow.
"You will never know the sweet relief of being able to let your hair out of a high pony tail. That and taking off your bra at the end of the day. Those two things are amazing" I laugh, seeing his tinted cheeks.
Clearing his throat he says,"I'll take your word for it."
Pulling to a stop I realise that we are outside "Sauce and Sprinkles". They do amazing chocolate fudge brownie ice cream here. Finn turns off his car getting out and coming to open my door but I was too fast in my excitement getting out the car.
"Hols you are meant to wait for me to open your door" he says with a pout. I lean over and squish his lips together making a fish face.
"I'm an independent lady, I don't need no man to open my door" I say laughing letting his face go. He sticks out his tongue and closes my door with a huff. Walking towards the door still laughing, Finn comes up to my side and takes my hand in his. I stop laughing and turn to look at him. He's never done that before? I hold hands with Mitch and Kayden sometimes but Finn and I don't usually do that. Looking up at him I see he's looking at me with a shy smile.
"What?" He asks with a confused look "I'm showing you that I can be a good date". Remembering this I feel more at ease and lean in to his shoulder as we walk inside.
Sauce and Sprinkles is quiet for a Friday night probably because it's near closing. Walking up to the counter we are met with an overly excited and flirty girl, I vaguely recognise from school.
"Hi Finn" she says sweetly, "what can I get for you?" She asks crossing her arms over her chest making her boobs nearly burst out her shirt.
"Hey Frankie" Finn says " a'll have a double scoop tub of raspberry ripple. What do you want Hols" he asks turning to look at me. Frankie notices me and the change in her features nearly made me laugh out loud. If looks could kill. What have I done to annoy her, I don't think I've even spoke to her before. Ah it must be because she wants Finn to ask her out and I'm the threat. Laughing to myself I decide to have some fun.
"A'll have a double scoop tub of chocolate fudge brownie please baby" I smile coyly at him holding on to his arm cuddling in close. Finn looks lost for words as he looks down at me. "A'll go get us a table" giving him a kiss on the cheek "don't be too long" I wink at him and walk off to find a table giggling under my breath. I look over my shoulder to see Finn staring at me with red cheeks and Frankie frozen mid scoop of Finns order. That was too much fun.
Moments later Finn walks over with our ice creams. He places mine in front of me not making eye contact. Looking down at my ice cream I notice his with writing on it,
"No way! She has no shame!" I say picking up the tub and pointing to it "you could of been on a date with me or anything and she would still have given you her number? Does that happen often to you?" I ask handing it back to him
"What can I say, I got mad skills" he says blowing on his hand and pretending to dust them off on his shoulder.
"God, I'd hate to your girlfriend having to deal with that" I say nodding towards the counter shoving a big scoop of the chocolatey goodness into my mouth. After a couple of spoonfuls I realise Finn hasn't said anything.
"What's wrong with you? Is it cause I'm not sharing?" I ask holding out a spoonful of my ice cream for him.
Smiling at me he leans across and eats the offered ice cream. " nothing's wrong but thanks for the ice cream" he laughs. " you finished?" He asks motioning to my tub.
Eating my last scoop I wipe my mouth "done". We both stand up and head for the door. "Bye Finn" Frankie shouts, he turns and smiles but doesn't say anything. When I look over my shoulder I spot her holding her hand to her ear like a phone mouthing "call me". Shameless!
We got back into the truck and Finn didn't bother to open my door, he drove seeming distracted. "Where are we off to now?" I ask looking out he window to see where we were off to.
"My secret spot" he says winking at me turning back to the road without explaining further. Secret spot? How do I not know about this? If he wanted to tell me more he would have so I decided to keep quiet and watch where we were going to see if I could work it out myself.
We drive for a time heading out of town towards the woods. I haven't been out here for a while since the guys and I stopped camping two years ago. I wonder if we will do it again soon now that Noah and Libby are back. We realised fast that we couldn't be trusted out in the wilderness without those two. The last time we came no one even remembered to bring tents so we ended up going home after we ate all the food we had brought.
Ten minutes later Finn parked in a passing place and got out the car, coming round he opened my door and held his hand out for me. Placing my hand in his he helped me down and pulled me so I jumped over a mud puddle crashing hard into his chest.
"Ow!" I say rubbing my forehead "what's your chest made of? Rock?"
"Rock hard abs baby" he says making a muscle man pose. "Ow! Stop doing that! You're becoming aggressive in your old age!" He says rubbing his stomach
"Ha.ha.ha" I say sarcastically. "So what are we doing here?"
Taking my hand he begins to lead me into the forest "you'll see" he tells me with a big smile.
We were only walking for five minutes when we pushed through some overgrown vines and into a clearing. Looking all around I could see tall thin trees that looked like they could touch the sky and right above them twinkling and sparkling like diamond was the night sky stars.
"Wow! This is beautiful" I say squeezing his hand and I turn to look at him. "Why have I never been here before?" I ask
"I use to come here all the time when my Mom first left when I needed to get away from the house but then as time has gone on I've not needed to come out here as much. I've only just started coming out again."
Letting my hand go he goes over behind a nearby tree and came back with a plastic bag. Opening it he pulled out a cover. He lay it on the ground and sat down. "Are you coming to join me" he asked patting the space beside him.
"How did you know that was there" I ask
"I keep it there wrapped up so it doesn't get wet. When I come here I like to lie down and look at the stars and you can't do that if the ground is wet" he looks at me as if I should have known the reason why.
We lie side by side in comfortable silence staring up at the sky listening to the wind in the trees and the animals making their way home for the night or waking up. Finn takes my hand and gives it a slight squeeze. Looking to the side I see him staring back, his bright green eyes look as if he's searching for something.
"Did you mean what you said back at Sauce and Sprinkles? " he whispers never breaking eye contact. I feel like he's trying to look for answers to questions not yet asked. The look in his eyes makes my breath catch.
Clearing my throat I stutter "wh-what?"
"When you said you would hate to be my girlfriend, what did you mean by that?" He asks
"Come on Finn, you're a player. You flirt with anything in a skirt, girls fall over themselves to be with you and half the time fall over each other to get with you. You never miss an opportunity to get a girl in to bed and don't seem to bother if you don't see them again. You use girls Finlay but it's not my place to lecture you on that" I say with a laugh and nudge his shoulder with mine.
"The reason I said it back there was because I pretended to be all over you and Frankie still flirted with you and gave you her number and don't think for a minute I didn't see her asking you to call her. I couldn't deal with having to compete with all those skinny, pretty girls even if their personalities suck" I laugh.
Turning on his side to face me he leans in close tucking some hair behind my ear. He slowly runs his thumb up and down the side of my face staring straight into my eyes and I find myself leaning in to him. That look along with his skin on mine causes heat to lick all over my skin. I feel my stomach tighten and my heart starts to pound so hard in my chest I'm sure he can hear it.
He leans in closer and I can feel his hot breath on my face "If you were my girlfriend Holly you would never have to worry about another girl coming between us. I would never look at another girl, I would never flirt with another girl and I would never EVER sleep with you and not care. I have actually only slept with two people, I might come across like I sleep around but I actually don't." Leaning his forehead on mine closing his eyes he takes a deep breath and leans back.
As soon as he moves away from me I feel like I can breath again but already miss the warmth and comfort of his touch. I can't seem to think straight even with space between us, why is he talking about me as a girlfriend?
"Do you know why I've only slept with two people Holly?" He asks sitting up looking down at his hands, I sit up along with him "or why I end up back at your work on a Friday Night with you instead of staying on my dates?" He whispers looking up at me. "It's because I don't feel anything for them" he says staring me straight in the eyes. " I don't want to kiss them, I don't want to get to know them and I don't want to sleep with them. I only want to be with one person and that one person is you. You are the one I want to be with Holly" he says picking up my hand rubbing patterns over it.
Seriously!? What is going on with these boys?
"I- I"
"You don't need to say anything Holly. When you told me that you would hate to be my girlfriend it made me realise that I might of ruined any chance with you and then what you just said there, well it made me realise that I had to make you see that I'm not the guy you think I am. That's the guy I pretend to be to try and stop myself from being hurt. I didn't want to ruin our friendship, I didn't want to loose the best thing in my life so I tried to hide my feelings for you and hoped I could move on but I can't." He says holding my face in his hands.
I don't think I know how to breath anymore. Finn wants more, he wants a relationship not just a friendship. He wants me? Out of all the skinny pretty girls in school or those he's met he wants me? Surely I've got this wrong?
"Finn" I whisper "you don't want me. I mean come on, your you and I'm well you know..."
"What? You mean beautiful, smart, funny, caring, thoughtful, sarcastic, aggressive? I think I would be lucky to call you mine!" he says tilting my chin up to make me look at him. Smiling at me he leans in and hugs me. "I know the guys have told you their feelings too so don't worry about telling me what you feel just now. I just wanted you to know"
Pulling back from him "Why now" I ask without thinking, "why have you and Noah, Kayden and Mitch decided to tell me now? I've known you all for years"
Looking at me he says " when we seen you and Theo it was like something snapped. The feelings we all had raised to the surface and were overwhelming us! Every time I seen him cuddle in to you or call you "pretty girl" it ate away at me" he starts to run his hands through his hair showing how upset he was. "It made me jealous, it made us all jealous. I finally understood that how I felt about you was stronger than even I knew it was but because I have never seen you with anyone before, none of us had I think it put it right in front of us"
What?? Just because someone showed an interest in me they now decide that they have to tell me because they don't want to see me with anyone else?
Standing up I start to pace. "Are you joking me!" I shout " so you all just decide it's time to tell me because someone finally showed an interest in me?"
"No Holly that's not what I mean, I meant-"
"Don't!" I cut him off. " I have been friends with you for years, I've had crushes on you, on all of you but I pushed those to the back of my mind because I felt it was a one sided deal. I've watched you all with girls over the years some with more than others and even though I felt a pang inside I never once thought about saying something! So what now because you thought I might like someone you all need to come in and pee on me to mark your territory?"
"Hols it's not like that-"
"Then what is it like? Because from where I'm standing and from what I've heard, you have all had a discussion about this, you have all agreed to tell me how you feel and all because you felt jealous and want me to be with one of you and not someone else? So what? everything would of stayed the same, feelings would have been kept hidden and nothing would have changed as long as I never had any interest from a guy? I mean heaven forbid someone would like me?but it was ok for me to feel slightly crushed every time you got with someone else?" I seethe at him.
He comes over to me and try's to hug me but I push him away.
"Don't, please don't Finlay. I just want to go home" I ask. I didn't even notice I had been crying until my breath catches and I feel wetness on my face. Wiping my tears away with my sleeve I start to walk back the way we came not caring if I was going in the right direction I just needed some space away from him, from all of them.
We get back to his truck and I slip inside it. Closing my eyes I lay my head back and take deep breaths.
I can't figure out if I am over reacting or if I am justified in what I said. Surely they can't expect me to think it's alright that they have kept their feelings from me probably knowing I love them all in what context I'm unsure right enough but still they were happy for things to stay the same unless someone showed an interest in me that they seen as a threat?
What seemed like five minutes later the car has stopped. Opening my eyes I see that we are outside my house. It's midnight and all the lights are off. Without looking at Finn I gather my things and head out the door slamming the door shut. Stomping up to my door I unlock it and go inside. I know he's still sitting there as I haven't heard his car move but I refuse to look at him. Yes I'm angry at him but I also know if I see his broken wee face I will cave and go back to him and right now I need time to think and process everything that has been happening.
I head up to my room checking in on my Mum and Poppy to see that they are already asleep in their beds. I get changed into my pjs and turn my phone off Finn will no doubt tell them what happened and I don't want to speak to any of them just now. Lying on my back I start to think about everything that's happened since the first day of term.
It's going to be a long night
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Hey!
Long update but felt it all had to be in this one :)
Big shout out to SanLovesYou for following me, reading my chapters and voting. It's given me a boost and made me want to keep going. Thank You! :) xx
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