You speak to me in riddles
You speak to me in rhymes
My body aches to breathe your breath
Your words keep me alive
And I would be the one to hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
And after, I'd wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes dear.
Sarah McLachlan - Possession
The sun was blazing as I stepped out of my silver BMW Coupe, black sun glasses over my eyes, to shield them from the harsh morning glare. I flicked the auto lock and alarm on before slipping my keys into the new black, shiny leather bag on my shoulder.
My dark ankle boots clicked across the tiles as the automatic door opened allowing me through, as I propped my sun glasses on my head.
Tim and Eric were standing in the doorway to the Crime Lab, eyes on me.
Tim was biting his bottom lip as his eyes swept upwards from the boots up my grey, boot cut linen trousers that hugged my hips and ass just right. He tilted his head as I stood there, arms crossed, raising an eyebrow as he took in the black, angel sleeve top, that showed a little skin before sweeping up to my bemused expression.
"You want me to take a picture or are you good with just staring?" I teased light heartedly, hand on my hip.
"Can you turn around a little? I'm trying to admire the view from the back." Tim returned as I rolled my eyes, a grin playing across my features as I stepped towards them.
"I know that grin." Delko remarked with a wide smile of his own. "Someone either got very lucky last night or went shopping."
I feigned innocence at his words.
"From the look of that handbag, I'm guessing Calleigh took her shopping." Tim remarked.
"You, Mr Speedle, would be right." I stated as Eric held the door open for me.
"So did you guys going shopping for anything else...underwear maybe." He added hopefully as him and Speedle followed me through.
I winked at Eric over my shoulder before commenting.
"Whatever happens in the changing rooms stays in the changing rooms. So did you guys miss me? Did anything interesting happen?" I asked them as we all strolled down the corridor towards the locker room.
"In the two days that you were gone we had maybe a little blood spatter you could have helped out with, otherwise...nah didn't even notice you weren't around." Tim joked, as we stepped into the locker room.
His jacket was already off his shoulders leaving me to admire his muscular frame for a second before ducking behind my own locker door as he twisted his head to glance at me.
"What Speed means to say is we're glad your back to stir things up a little, seriously it's been boring as hell the last two days." Eric told me clipping his badge and gun into his belt.
I shoved my handbag into my locker before following suit, shutting the locker door as my cell phone went off, along with Delko's and Speedle's.
"Anyone else get Coconut Grove?" I inquired as the other two men snapped their phones closed.
Delko raised his hand, indicating he had too.
"One of you needs to trade with me. I got a boat scene with Megan," Speed stated, his gaze on Eric, arms crossed over his chest.
"You always work with Megan." Eric pointed out frowning as he looked at Speed studying him.
"Not anymore."
Speed's eyes were on me expectant. I tilted my head giving him a stoic look.
"You really think that if I switch scenes with you that it's going to turn out any better than if it was you and Megan. One of us will end up at the bottom of that ocean and I look too damn hot today for it to be me." I reminded him, still fiddling with my badge clip.
"I'll trade." Delko told Speed, who looked more than relieved. "But you owe me."
Tim squinted at Delko before rolling his eyes.
"I'll buy you a round next time we're at the bar." He offered, as a wide grin spread across Delko's face.
I closed my locker as Eric patted Speed on the shoulder.
"Glad you finally came to your senses man." Eric remarked before slipping out of the door.
Tim frowned, looking pointedly at me.
"I didn't tell him about you and Megan, he's a CSI, he probably picked it up the same way I did...Detecting." I reminded him as we drifted towards the exit.
"Yea well, that's well and truly over, and the less cases we get put on together the better." He muttered as we stepped into the lift and he pressed the button for the parking garage.
"She called the other night." I remembered hearing his voice in my half asleep state saying her name.
Speed bowed his head and nodded.
"I thought you were asleep." He commented.
"It was the only time I woke up that night." I answered honestly.
From the look on Tim's face I knew he was secretly pleased by that.
"No nightmares?" he inquired.
I shook my head with a small smile.
"Not one. My subconscious must have known I had someone watching over me." I said softly.
"Kate about the other night..." Tim drew to a halt; hand on the door to the parking garage.
I held up my hand to silence him, being careful not to betray my own emotions.
"You don't need to say anything. We both needed someone that night and it just happened to be each other. You've always been a great sense of comfort to me, there's something about you that just... You make me feel safe and I needed that."
My heart was screaming at me, telling me to shut the hell up, what was I doing? Whilst my head already knew the answer to that question. I was making this easier for him.
"So you don't have to say anything more about it. I understand it's not gonna be a regular occurrence, we weren't trying to chase the past, we were just trying to deal with the now."
"So no hard feelings because I don't want to leap head first back into a relationship with you?" Speed queried raising an eyebrow.
I shook my head.
"I'd be alarmed if you did. I did an awful thing to you back then, I can't expect you to forgive or forget, although I know you're trying." I reasoned.
Tim was staring down the corridor now.
"I'm trying Kate, I really am."
I reached out and touched his arm gently; his gaze was on my hand now.
"I know." I said quietly before yanking open the door to the parking garage and grabbing the keys to the Hummer.
"Erm...Who said you were driving?" Speedle asked, as I turned to face him, raising my eyebrows.
"The keys in my hand." I retorted, jingling them just out of his reach.
"Last time you drove, you nearly hit a tree." Speedle reminded me.
"A dog ran out in front of the car, what was I supposed to do hit it?" I returned as we stepped towards the Hummer.
"You could have swerved left instead of right. Or braked."
"I did break."
"Before we hit the tree." Tim reminded me stopping short at the front of the Hummer.
"I am not handing over these keys Speedle, you want them your gonna have to fight me for them, and for the record I know you'd never hit a girl." I pointed out as I opened the driver's side door.
"If I die due to your reckless driving, you'll have to explain to Horatio why he just lost his best crinimalist." Tim warned me as he slipped into the passenger side seat, and pulled his belt on; making sure it was taunt against him.
"You are not his best crinimalist." I snorted "Calleigh is."
Tim put a hand to his heart pulling a face that made me burst out laughing as I stuck the key into the ignition feeling the engine purr as I turned it.
"You just damaged my fragile ego." He informed me with a boyish grin.
"Please..." I muttered, shifting the gear stick. "You have the biggest ego I know."
"You like big egos, if I wasn't so self confident, you wouldn't have looked twice at me." Tim said as I backed out the parking garage.
"Not true, it was your eyes that got me." I told him, glancing over my shoulder to keep an eye on the road.
I could tell he was surprised by the expression on his face as I turned my head back to face the road in front of me.
"I can't believe I never told you that." I said with a sad smile as I pushed my foot down on the accelerator.
"I never asked, and it's not something that we talked about." Tim recalled, his focus straight ahead, looking for stray dogs I guessed.
"We never talked about a lot of things." I remarked thoughtfully.
"You going undercover was one of them." Tim shot back.
The silence between us was heavy and thick, as I realized he was never going to let this go, he was always going to be angry. The tension in the car heightened, making the drive to the crime scene uneasy as Tim's eyes stayed focused on the window beside him, hand next to his mouth, deep in thought.
"The vic's name is Noel Peach, he's a college student." Bernstein told us as he guided us through the beautiful expensive mansion and out into the huge garden still decorated in party paraphernalia. The massive pool decorated with rose petals.
We drew up next to Horatio, who was crouched down next to the body, along side Alexx who was giving Noel the once over.
"Wow..." I muttered taking in the modestly covered young man.
Noel Peach was in his prime. His naked body was in good shape, in fact better than most men I had seen hit the Miami beaches. No wonder he was a stripper. A body like that, you use it to the best of your ability especially if you had college fees to pay. My eyes lingered on the pink silk material spread across his male area.
Speedle leaned in beside me as I tilted my head searching for an obvious sign of death.
"You can so tell it's been a long time since you got laid." He whispered.
My cheeks flushed red, at the feel of his breath on my ear and at his words.
"I wasn't...admiring ... I was looking for COD." I protested.
Speedle crossed his arms over his chest looking satisfied.
"Sure you were." He remarked smugly.
"She isn't the only one." Alexx informed us both. "It's like the guy just stopped breathing."
I crouched down seeing something shiny sticking out from underneath the pink silk. I cracked open my kit and yanked on a pair of latex gloves, before picking up the sliver of silver and examining it.
"Got a condom wrapper." I told Horatio as I tucked it into an evidence envelope.
"And I have this." I glanced over my shoulder to see Speedle holding up a sunset patterned push up bra by the straps.
"Just your size too." I smirked before seeing something as Alexx turned the body slightly.
"Got some dead mosquitoes here, they're pristine and they look full of blood." I remarked, getting out my tweezers and picked them up as gently as I could before depositing them in to an evidence envelope.
"So whatever killed Noel maybe in the blood." Horatio commented thoughtfully.
"I'll analyse them when I get back to the lab."
"Got strap marks on his wrists." Alexx proclaimed.
"You think bondage?" Tim asked as he bagged the bra.
"Too soon to tell. I'm gonna get him back to the lab and do a full Tox work up." Alexx told us gesturing for the morgue guys to roll the gurney over.
"We gotta houseful of suspects to interview." Bernstein mentioned as I rose to my feet.
"Kate, do you wanna get on that while Speed takes a look around the perimeter?" Horatio called out, his eyes surveying the scene behind his dark sunglasses.
"Of course Horatio." I twisted to face Bernstein.
"You wanna lead the way detective?" I asked, getting out my note book and grabbing my kit.
"Call me Mike. Detective's always been a little to formal for me." Bernstein said with a wink.
I swear I heard Speedle snort as Bernstein led me away form the scene and into the house.
The sun was blazing down on them, making Eric sweat underneath his shirt. Alongside him Megan pushed her sunglasses onto the top of her head as her eyes fixed on Detective Puig on the opposite end of the pier. He was standing next to a boat, talking to couple who were more than likely the owners of the vessel.
"So this is our first time together." Eric attempted to break the awkward silence between them.
He'd never worked with Megan alone before but he found that the woman unnerved him. She never joked, barely cracked a smile unless it was in Speed's direction. She was stern and her expression was more sombre than the job seemed to warrant.
"You know, you usually work with Speed?" Eric prompted, turning his head slightly to look at Megan as they walked across the wooden panels of the pier.
"Right." Megan returned nodding.
Eric pursed his lips together cursing Speedle, knowing this was going to be the most antagonizing eight hours of his life.
I was standing in front of a stunning red haired woman, clad in a black halter neck top that showed off all her curves, and black trousers that looked almost skin clad. Even in her dishevelled post party state she could still turn heads. She didn't seem to notice the attention she was getting from the younger male cops in the room.
The only people so far seeming to be unaffected were Bernstein and I, while Bernstein was off interviewing the other women; I'd managed to catch sight of this one as she was cleaning up rose petals.
"So would you mind explaining the concept of a Cupcake Party to me? I'm having a lot of trouble trying to figure it out." I told her politely, still puzzling over the whole issue.
"Cupcake is about sexual liberation, its women getting together to celebrate their sexuality." Melissa Starr raised her beautiful hazel eyes to meet mine almost bashfully before a raising an eyebrow, a sultry smile crossing over her flawless features.
"Haven't you ever wanted to feel liberated?" she breathed, trailing her fingers gently up my bare arm.
I frowned before discreetly taking a step back to break contact with Melissa.
"Oh trust me I'm liberated enough." I remarked, focusing on writing down the concept of Cupcake.
"I bet you are." Melissa whispered, pouting as she leaned forward, brushing the hair from my face and behind my ear.
Her face was literally inches from mine, her eyes on my lips as I stood frozen for a second. Well...this was a first.
"Cupcake isn't about having sex Detective, it's about taking it back." She murmured.
I reached out, resting a hand on her shoulder gently propelling Melissa's body backwards away from mine.
"I wouldn't get too close, I bite." I warned her, with a slight smile.
"Haven't you ever just wanted to stimulate your senses?" Melissa asked, her eyes roving up and down my body, taking in every curve.
"Stimulating yours senses without any release can be frustrating." I pointed out.
Melissa's eyes lingered on my face, she bit her lip and raised her eyebrows before talking.
"Not if it's the right woman, and trust me you'd fit right in here. Maybe I'll even teach you a thing or two." She spoke in a low tone, as she took my hand and slipped her card into it.
Her finger tips tickled my hand as she raked them across my palm.
"Ok..." I said with a little uncertainty, as I pulled my hand away. "First off, I don't swing that way, secondly..." I wrapped my arms around my notebook, giving her a look of distain. "You're a suspect in what looks to be a murder investigation, that occurred in your own home. You don't seem to be too concerned about the man in question."
"The truth is I'm not, he's just another man trying to upset the balance of women's power." Melissa informed me, crossing her arms over her chest.
"So is this all men, or is it a selected few?" I queried, tapping my pen on my own folded arms.
"Haven't you ever felt oppressed by men, objectified even?" Melissa asked me.
I shrugged my response.
"See that guy over there." I turned my head to follow the direction she was pointing in.
Speedle was bent over searching through the bushes for evidence. His unruly dark hair falling over his forehead as we watched him.
"He's been watching you ever since you came in here, like you're his property or something." she spat as I turned back to her, studying her face.
"Is that what your little show was about trying to make him jealous?" I inquired, starting to make sense of her psychology.
"It was protecting you, showing him that he can't get away with looking at you like that. Just like that male Detective over there leering at you." Melissa indicated towards Bernstein.
"I don't need your protection Melissa, that is what they're here for. Do me a favour and take that overtly feministic mambo jumbo as far away out of my personal space as you can muster ok?" I demanded, with a shooing gesture.
Melissa clamped her mouth shut before storming away haughtily. I rolled my eyes as Bernstein appeared at my side.
"You ok?" he asked lightly, his eyes on the fuming red head as she collected yet more rose petals from another vase.
"A little alarmed by her views and forwardness but otherwise dandy." I responded, still glaring in Melissa's direction.
"I was gonna say it looked like she was trying to get a little one and one action with you." Bernstein remarked, never taking his eyes off the woman in front of him.
"That's because she thought you wanted to get a little one on one action with me Detective." I told him, tilting my head in time to see a faint blush climb across his cheeks.
"I told you Kate, call me Mike." He said bowing his head and looking a little bashful.
I pursed my lips together before taking a deep breath. It was best to stop this before it even had a chance to start.
"If I start calling you Mike, you'll start thinking I'm interested." I told him directly.
Bernstein raised his head, his gaze meeting mine as a smile twitched at his lips.
"Don't you think your being presumptuous? How do you know I'm not just being friendly?" Bernstein asked as I turned my back on him to put my notebook in my kit.
"You mean you weren't going to ask me out for a drink or for dinner after we'd finished this case?" I asked, turning around to face him and raising an eyebrow.
Bernstein looked at me surprised at my directness.
"That was eerie." He told me.
I shrugged as I lifted my kit from the work surface and clasped it in my hand.
"So hypothetically...if I did ask you out?" he began.
I held up a hand to silence him.
"I'd keep telling you to take a rain check until you started to resent me for not giving you a chance. You're a good looking guy Bernstein, but I'm not looking for anything at the moment. I have far too many issues running around to get involved with anyone." I explained as we walked together into the garden again, looking for Horatio.
"So not ever?" he asked hopefully as he came to a halt beside the rose bushes.
"I'm sure your gonna make some girl wonderfully happy some day but it ain't gonna be me." I concluded.
"You wanna be friends instead?" he offered his hand to me, grinning from ear to ear.
I was guessing this one of the best rejections the guy had ever had. Saying that just by looking at Bernstein I could tell it wasn't often he got rejected by the opposite sex.
"Friends I can do, but no benefits." I warned, wagging my finger at him.
"I can do that." Bernstein nodded, as I took his hand and shook it firmly.
The living quarters of the boat were clean but looked used Eric through as he shined his crime light around looking for anything that could be used to cause blunt force trauma.
Megan was still on deck, interrogating the married couple who owned the vessel.
There was a flash light on the work surface, resting in plain sight, the end clotted with what looked like blood and hair. His nose was beginning to tingle a little. He picked up the flash light and brought it closer to his face, studying it with the crime light.
That's when it happened. The tingling got worse and as Eric's eyes rose to the light he sneezed.
The minute the sneeze was over; Eric was cursing himself, for compromising the flash light. Megan's footsteps were on the stairs behind him.
"You get anything?" she questioned as she entered the room.
Eric wasn't sure what he was more surprised about, the fact he'd just sneezed on the evidence or the fact Megan had just spoke three words to him.
"Yea, some blood and hair on the flash light."
"Maybe able to get DNA." Megan murmured, leaning over Eric's shoulder to get a better look.
"I'll bag it and get it back to the lab." Eric muttered, wondering how the hell he was gonna fix this.
"An orgy is an orgy, no matter what weird little things you're mixing up in it. Drugs, cupcakes, whatever. Noel Peach was the one that got screwed here." Speedle said as we loaded the evidence boxes into the back of the Hummer.
"Cupcakes is definitely a first for me. The idea of having a cake in the immediate area while you're having sex is freaky." I agreed as I handed my box to him, he took it from my hands gently before shoving it inside the vehicle.
As he drew back, I stood on my tip toes to close the back of the Hummer.
"I never took you for someone who played for the same team." I twirled to face Tim as he spoke, his expression unreadable.
I leaned against the closed Hummer door and rolled my eyes.
"I don't play for the same team she was flirting with me to tell you to keep your hands off." I told him, irate.
Tim's hands were on either side of me, body leaning in close as his dark eyes met mine and I saw something I recognized. Jealously, even in our relationship he had been possessive. Not overbearing, just enough for me to find it a turn on when he decided to claim me.
There was hunger in his eyes, the same as there had been back then. His body was inches from mine, I longed to reach out and close that gap. Grab his belt buckle and yank him against me, to show him I was his, and his only.
Instead I did nothing. There were two many boundaries, walls that we'd both erected to protect ourselves.
"Is that what you want? For me to keep my hands off?" he murmured in a husky voice.
His hands were firm and strong as they caressed down my arms and came to rest on my hips. His finger tips dug into the thin sliver of bare skin there, making my body buck a little. His taunt lean body was inches away from mine, my skin already sensitive to his touch before I breathed my answer; my eyes closed enjoying the sensations that were running through my body.
"I don't know. I always liked your hands. You were always good with them...and your mouth." I whispered through barely parted lips.
My breath caught in my throat as his lower body came in contact with mine. His lips were on me, sudden and demanding, his tongue slipping into my mouth teasing my own. I moaned into his mouth as his muscular body pinned me to the Hummer, his knee jammed my legs apart as I arched against him. I felt him against me hard as his hands grabbed my wrists holding them against the Hummer, putting him in complete control. He thrust against me; I bit his lip hard enough to make it bleed at the sheer force of the ecstasy that was rushing through my veins.
To my surprise Tim pulled back, leaving us both panting. His forehead resting against mine, his eyes closed, his body slumped against me as I tried to catch my breath.
Tim opened his eyes; I felt my heart break as I saw the remorse and the regret shining in them.
"Kate I'm sorry..." he murmured, his hand trembling as his finger tips stroked my cheek.
"It's ok." I whispered, my chest and throat aching as I tried to hold back the emotions that raged through me.
Everything hurt so much, and it killed me when he pulled away, arms wrapped around himself looking lost as he cleared his throat. He couldn't look at me; his head was turned towards the house as he spoke.
"I think you better leave before I do something we both regret." His voice broke as he spoke wrenching at my heart even more.
I couldn't speak, I could barely breath. My chest felt impossibly tight, and I was having trouble trying to get a grip back on myself.
Tim was calling out to someone now and I saw Bernstein walking towards us, his eyes flickering to me before resting on Tim.
"Can you give Kate a lift back to the lab?" Tim asked, his eyes never moving from Bernstein.
"Sure. You can throw your kit in the back seat if it's easier." Bernstein offered with a kind smile.
I stared at him before my eyes strayed to Tim, whose jaw was clenched, head bowed, determined not to look at me.
I snatched up my kit before returning my attention back to Bernstein.
"That's fine." I stated, feeling the pain in my chest begin to subside giving way to the cold numbness, I knew and was beginning to love.
Bernstein reached out for my kit, I frowned at him confused.
"Let me take that." He offered his hand out for the kit.
I let him take it from me feeling upset and weary as he led me towards his car, chattering about the Cuban restaurant he thought I might like.
Bernstein hadn't learnt his lesson and apparently neither had I.
Megan was back again for the third time in an hour she was asking after the DNA on the flash light. Eric had to admit it was getting harder and harder to lie to he. He'd have to tell her eventually. The only reason he hadn't yet was for the sheer fact she was unpredictable.
If this was H he would have had no problem admitting he'd contaminated some of the evidence. H would understand it had been an accident, something he couldn't control. Megan however...
He gave her an uneasy look as she breezed down the corridor towards his lab again. Megan scared the shit out of him. She was so freaking stern and rigid, it reminded him of a teacher in school who used to make him read out loud when he was new to the class. He'd go all red and stutter.
Being around Megan took him straight back to those days and making a mistake like this...She was not going to be impressed.
Best to bite the bullet and get it over with.
Megan was in the lab now her mouth opening to speak.
Eric cut her off before she could get the words out.
"I have something to tell you." He uttered.
Megan frowned, narrowing her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest.
"I sneezed on the flash light from the crime scene, so any DNA from it will be useless." Eric blurted out, trying to gauge Megan's reaction as he took a step back.
Megan's hands were on her hips as she glared at him.
"Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" she snapped.
"Because I didn't know what to do..." Megan interrupted him.
"I can't believe you did this. I knew you were going to make some kind of mistake. I can't believe Horatio brought you onto the team. Tim would never have done anything as stupid as this." Megan was yelling now.
Eric found himself shrinking back at her onslaught as she paced the length of the lab.
"And you didn't even think to tell me either. Jesus! I requested Tim especially for this reason, he's the best damn scientist around here...You are freaking useless."
In the end it was those words that caused Eric to snap.
"Jesus Christ Megan, Speedle swapped cases because he didn't want to work with you!" he erupted, his eyes burning into her like hot coals.
Megan stopped dead, before twisting to face him. The expression on her face was one of complete and utter shock, and Eric wished he could take the words back.
Megan's face was beginning to contort with anger, her fists clenching by her sides.
"He swapped cases with you?" she asked in a dangerously low tone.
Eric recoiled slightly as the full weight of her gaze landed on him.
"Where is he?" Megan seethed.
Eric shook his head, not able to get any words out. Megan spun on her heel and was storming out of the lab in seconds. Eric breathed a sigh of relief as she left, before trying to dial Speed to give him a heads up.
The locker room was quiet and was giving Tim, the solace he needed to pull himself back together.
That moment at the scene with Kate had been everything he wanted and yet everything he feared at the same time. His emotions were powerful and gripping. Leaving him feeling exposed whenever she was near him. He found it too easy to slip back into the way they used to be and that was becoming a problem.
Seeing that red haired bitch and then Bernstein flirting with Kate had brought back an emotion he hadn't felt in a long time. He was not a possessive man, by nature. Yet there was something about Kate that flicked a switch in his brain, and as soon as that happened he found himself losing control on his feelings and trying to claim her. The worst part was he knew Kate liked that, she enjoyed it.
He felt like he was leading her on, offering something she couldn't have and taking it away. There wasn't a chance in hell he was going to get into a relationship with her again. She'd burnt those bridges when she'd screwed him up so badly he could barely function.
He was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of the main door to the locker room slamming open. He turned his head to see Megan, storming towards him, the expression on her face one of severe agitation.
"You switched cases." She accused as he pushed his locker shut and twisted his body to face her.
"I don't want to work with you, I thought you would have got the message when I stopped returning your calls." He told her, arms crossed over his chest.
"This is about her isn't it?" Megan growled, her eyes narrowing.
"Who?" Tim asked, knowing full well who Megan was talking about.
"You and Kate, you were on her case!" she spat.
Tim had to stop himself from laughing out loud at the sheer audacity of this woman.
"Is that what this is about? What are you jealous Megan? Thought I would always be there like a puppy begging for attention whenever you called?" He snarled.
Megan's gaze softened as she took in the anger on his face, trying to open up and show him part of her reasoning.
"She's gonna hurt you Tim, I'm warning you don't get involved." She told him.
Tim stared at Megan incredulously as he listened to her words.
"It can't hurt more than I've already been hurt. At least she has some true feelings for me. She doesn't just need me to fill some physical void." He retorted, shaking his head.
"I care about you Tim a lot. Far too much to see you being used and abused by her again." Megan said stoically.
"You had a hell of a way of showing it Megan, and to be honest with you, I don't want you to care about me. I don't want you to call me; I don't want you to stop by. It's over. Not that there was much there to begin with." Tim snapped, feeling the disgusted with the woman across from him.
"That's a blade that cuts both ways Tim, I won't be there when you need someone to pick up the pieces when she runs off again." Megan scowled at him, things not playing out the way she wanted.
She expected him to be weaker than this. She thought he was playing his own game, seeing if she'd chase him and when she called she thought he'd come running back. Now she was starting to see, she's pushed him too far. Tim wasn't going to be coming back anytime soon, at least not without a little help.
"Don't worry about me. I'll do just fine on my own." He told her, his expression cold as he stepped around her and exited the locker room, leaving Megan behind.
The observation room wasn't as large as I would have liked. It put me and Tim within a two foot radius of each other. Bernstein was in the interrogation room along with Horatio and Nikki Olson. Me and Tim hadn't spoken to each other since he'd practically thrown me at Bernstein.
We were standing side by side peering through the window listening as Nikki explained that Noel had gone into anaphylactic shock. The silence between us was awkward to say the least. I didn't know what to say to what had happened and apparently neither did Tim.
I was listening closely to Nikki now describing her fantasy about Noel dressing in her clothes. I raised my eyebrows, jaw dropping when she asked Horatio whether he thought about strapping on a pair of four inch heels and push up bra.
"Wow." The word slipped out before I could stop it.
Tim tilted his head towards me frowning in surprise.
"You like to see guys wearing your shoes?" he asked, looking disturbed.
"I like my men manly, you know that. Why you ever think about trying on girl's underwear?" I shot back, a little nerved.
"I can't say that's a fetish that has ever crossed my mind." Tim retorted, shaking his head.
"It would explain why my underwear seemed to constantly disappear." I remarked thoughtfully, my hand by my chin.
"That's because you took it off in strange places." He reminded me.
I felt a grin spreading across my features as my cheeks flushed red.
"That is because you used to take it off in weird places." I corrected.
"Remember the picnic in that park land..." Tim prompted, bowing his head and chuckling.
I found myself laughing despite everything that had happed between us.
"I have this image of the rangers finding them on one of their clean ups" I giggled.
Tim held his hands up in mock surrender.
"Hey I was not looking where I was throwing those things."
I turned my head towards him, our eyes met as we shared the moment.
"You were too busy paying attention to other areas."
Tim gave me a lopsided grin, giving him an innocence that I rarely realized he had.
"You weren't complaining at the time. Or that time at the beach." He reminded me.
I put a hand to my face blushing as I started to giggle again.
"Dear God we had no shame." I smiled, shaking my head, before turning my head to him.
The laughter drifted from us both as the air between us became still again. A calm descending between the two of us as we remembered those events with jovial pleasure, but then the rest came flooding back, all the space in between, all the damage that had been caused.. We were staring at each other as the sadness stretching out between us.
"I've got to..." Tim gestured to the door.
"Yea me too..." I looked down at my hands and nodded.
I waited until I heard the door click shut again before letting out the deep sigh I'd been holding in.
The Trace Lab was otherwise occupied when I entered to claim my results from the computer. Tim was in the lay out room. An uneasy truce had been formed between us. Our main focus was the case; it was time to keep it professional. There had been moments I'd forgotten that today and I was determined not to do that anymore.
Megan was perched at the table in the centre, her gaze riveted to the papers in front of her. I doubted she'd even heard me come in.
I picked up the paper the printer spat out and held it up to read. The doses for the syringe Nikki had used to jab Noel in the heart were there, and the dosage that had been coursing through Noel's system seemed to low to actually do any damage. I tilted my head from side to side, saying that I wasn't up on the recent medicine doses.
"Tim, will probably be able to make more sense of this." I muttered to myself, eyes still fixed on the paper as I walked towards the door, trying to figure out what the unidentified chemical was on the next page.
"Haven't you hurt him enough" Megan's voice rang out loud and clear, stopping me in my tracks.
I twirled on the spot to face her, thinking I hadn't heard right.
"Excuse me?"
Megan's eyes were on me, her eyebrow arched as she sat rigid in her seat.
"You heard me." She said clearly.
I bit my lip, clasping the papers to my chest before responding.
"I think that's rich coming from the woman whose been using him as a sex toy for the past few months."
My eyes were on hers intense and unwavering. Megan rose to her feet; her palms placed on the desk, leaning over it to glare at me.
"You know nothing..." I cut her off, slipping my papers onto the work surface and smirking.
"I know that he was a replacement fuck buddy for your husband and I think that was pretty unfair on your part since he seemed to have genuine feelings for you." I informed her, crossing my arms over my chest.
"You have no idea about my feelings for Tim. How dare you come in here like you own the place and talk about things you know nothing about!" Megan growled her face contorting in anger.
"When you comment about my relationship with Tim, I get to comment about yours, and for the record sleeping with some one who's practically been a son to you for the past five years is pretty screwed up Megan." I snarked at her, managing to keep my temper even despite the fact Megan was clearly infuriated.
Megan moved around the desk so we were face to face. We were practically the same height, although my heels had an inch or two on her.
"Tim is a big boy, that is our business not yours."
I shook my head before looking at her pointedly.
"You make it my business when you treat him like shit, he doesn't deserve that." I told her calmly.
Megan's fists were clenched by her sides, and she was grinding her teeth.
"That's something you have first hand experience in, isn't it Kate? Treating people like shit. You walked out on him."
Her words rang true, but like hell was I gonna let Megan get the upper hand, not after what she'd done.
"And that's coming from the woman who just told him he wasn't good enough to be anything but your bed warmer." I snapped. "You tossed him aside and left him to pick up the pieces, alone."
"Takes one to know one sweetheart." Megan returned, with a snide smile.
I felt my eyes narrow as I shook my head, my voice cold.
"I'm nothing like you, I came back. I'm trying to make amends for what I did."
"You coming back was the worst thing that could have happened to him, you've fucked up his head so he doesn't know what he wants." Megan's finger was jabbing at my chest now, but I refused to back down.
"That's coming from you of all people, the most fucked up bitch in this place. Tell me Megan was there attraction to Tim before your husband died, or were you just trying to fill the void that Shawn left..."
The force of her hand across my face practically turned my head. The echo of the slap reverberated through the lab so loudly I was positive that there wasn't a single person who didn't hear it. Pain erupted in the left side of my face and from where Megan's ring had caught on my bottom lip. I put my hand to it, seeing blood on my fingertips as I pulled my hand away and straightened myself.
My fist was already clenched by my side. Megan eyed it wearily, looking stunned by her own actions.
I had pushed her; part of me reasoned I deserved it. The other part wanted me to lash out and break that pretty nose of hers.
Yet I did nothing but stand there glaring at her trying to regain my calm and composure, if I lashed out, that would be it. Career over, and kicked out the lab, a reputation as a trouble maker, possibly down to post traumatic stress from being undercover far too long. At least that's what they'd say.
Horatio had gone out on a limb hiring me, against several people's wishes, I knew that, and I wasn't going to disappoint him.
I put my hand to my lip again, dabbing it gingerly with my fingertips. My eyes were on Megan's, hers were still full of rage and fire, but I knew mine were merely cold.
"I'm not gonna hit you Megan, God knows I want to right now but your not worth it. I know that you think you're all tough coming after me, that maybe in your fucked up mind you think this will make me go away and he will come running back into your arms. But I'm not going anywhere. I've made my mistakes and I'm trying to fix them myself." I paused for a second; studying the sticky red blood on my fingers to judge how bad my lip was cut. "You? You're just making your problems grow. I'm not going to retaliate; I'm a much bigger person than you."
I snatched the papers up off the table, hearing the door burst open behind me. I twisted to see Horatio in the door way, frowning at the sight in front of him.
"Ladies, what is going on here?" he demanded in a low tone.
My fingers were still pressed to my lip, blood trailing down the back of my hand.
"I think that's a question you'd best be asking Megan." I told Horatio grimly. "I need to get myself cleaned up before I contaminate something."
Horatio's oceanic blue eyes were on me intently analysing me as I stepped towards him.
"I need you to come to my office after you've cleaned yourself up." Horatio said, handing me the hanky from his breast pocket.
"Thank you." I muttered gesturing to the hanky as I held it up against my lip.
Horatio simply nodded, as I slipped past him and headed towards the locker room to check out the damage and congratulate myself on not punching out the bitch.
The Trace Lab was silent and empty as I stood in there pouring the Red Kill in a test tube to see if it matched the same strain of nicotine that had killed Noel Peach.
After I'd cleaned up the blood form my lip with Horatio's handkerchief and water form the sink in the break room, I'd gone to his office just like he had asked. Megan apparently had not been very forthcoming in response to why she'd slapped me in the middle of the lab. In the back of my mind I knew that she resented Horatio for taking the position that she thought she could walk back into. Answering to him didn't sit right to her and that's why when he'd asked she had basically walked out muttering about a minor disagreement.
As for me...I trusted Horatio enough to tell the truth. I had been out of order, I had been cruel and I shouldn't have said those things to her. Megan had pushed my buttons and I should have known better than to retaliate. Horatio appreciated the honesty asking if I wanted to file an assault charge against Megan to which I had shook my head.
It was then Horatio had told me Megan had been suspended. He couldn't enforce violence in the workplace and Megan had a two day suspension. I knew this wouldn't help her case to get her position as Head of the Crime Lab back. At the same time there was nothing I could do, the decision had already been made by people higher above me. It was out of my hands.
"I already tested that."
I stopped dead what I was doing, staring at the bottle of Red Kill in front off me, my hair falling over my face. I'd been so lost in my thoughts I hadn't even heard Tim enter the lab.
"You could have mentioned that before I spent five minutes trying to work out a safe way not to get it on my skin." I snapped.
"What's wrong with you?" I could hear the defensive tone in his voice as I turned my head towards him.
Tim was standing, legs apart, arms crossed, a frown etching his handsome features.
"What the hell happened to you?" he asked striding towards me and cupping my chin in his hand.
"Megan and me got into a fight. I was pretty mean to her." I sighed as he examined my lower lip.
"Megan did this to you? What does she look like?" he asked cautiously, before pulling away eyes still on my face.
"Actually I was a good girl; I refrained from smacking her back. I think, I at least deserve a treat for that." I reasoned, whilst pouting.
Tim bowed his head before smirking at me in that knowing way of his.
"Did you clean it out good? You could get a nasty infection." Tim asked, tilting his head upwards so he could see the cut again.
"Will you quit looking at it? You're making me self conscious. And I cleaned it with Horatio's hanky. It'll be fine." I told him shortly.
Tim rolled his eyes at me before grabbing hold of my wrist and tugging me out of the lab and towards the locker room.
"I think I've got something for it in my locker. I should have some antiseptic wipes on the top shelf." Tim told me as he yanked me through the doors and into the eerily silent locker room.
Tim let go of my hand abruptly as we reached his locker. He already had opened his locker and was routing through the top shelf for the small medi-kit he was telling me he kept in there.
"You could have just said that instead of dragging me all the way here, or did you just want an excuse to hold my hand?" I growled at him as he pulled away from his locker, antiseptic wipes in hand.
"Your too stubborn for your own good, you would have just left it to get infected." Tim pointed out taking a wipe from the packet.
"You just don't want it to scar my pretty face other wise you wouldn't have anyone besides Calleigh to ogle." I informed him, as he took a step towards me.
"You are such an egotist." He muttered as he tilted my face upwards to meet his gaze.
His eyes slipped down to my lips, as he folded the antiseptic wipe over his index finger.
"I am not, I just happen to accept I am an attractive single female, working in a largely male populated environment." I said before Tim rolled his eyes.
"You think you can stop talking for a second so I can clean this up for you?" Tim snarked.
I let out a deep sigh before narrowing my eyes at him and parting my lips slightly. The antiseptic stung as it touched the wound, causing me to flinch.
"Sorry." Tim murmured, his fingertip tracing along my lips gently as he dabbed at the cut, making sure it was thoroughly cleaned.
I pulled a face as he took the antiseptic wipe away; his doe brown eyes looking directly into my own evergreen eyes as he tossed it in the trash can next to the bench.
"That tastes freaking horrible." I whined, cringing at the sharp taste on my tongue.
I leaned back on the lockers behind me as Tim's fingers trailed up my arms gently, causing me to shiver a little.
"I can help get rid of the taste." He said in a low tone, his eye never wavering from mine.
It took me a few seconds to realize how close together we actually were. My back was pressed against the cool surface of the lockers. Tim's body was inches away from mine, and it was taking all my self control to not reach out and close that gap between us.
"You got a lollypop in that locker of yours?" I said light heartedly.
Tim let out a hoarse chuckle before placing both his hands on the locker behind me to brace himself as he leant in.
"Something you like better." He whispered, his voice sent shivers up and down my spine.
"Gummi Bears?" I asked hopefully.
I was trying to be the logical one here, but Tim was making it antagonistically hard for me. His body was inches away from mine, sending tingles rushing through me as I tried to keep my head clear. I swallowed hard as his fingers traced along my jaw line, before his hand slipped down to my neck. His finger tips were tickling down the back of my neck. I clenched my jaw, trying not to shudder under his touch.
"You know we should probably..."
His lips were on mine, his hand tightened in my hair, pulling me closer against him. My hands were running through his unruly dark hair as he slammed me against the lockers, his hands running down my back and grasping my ass firmly. His tongue ran along my lips before slipping into my mouth and teasing mine.
I arched against him, my hands running under his shirt over his taunt chest muscles. Tim bucked against me, his fingers digging into my ass as he moaned into my mouth. His hand slid down to my thigh, as he guided my leg over his hip, allowing him direct access to my lower body.
A low growl escaped Tim's throat as he thrust himself against me, his lips raining red hot kisses on my throat, as his free hand toyed with the waist band of my pants, caressing the sensitive skin there. I could feel him hard and firm through his jeans, making me wet at the sheer knowledge that it was all because of me.
I called out his name, my skin flushing under his onslaught, my heart racing as his hand grasped my other leg hoisting me upwards so I could wrap my legs around his waist, forcing a closer skin on skin connection between the two of us. His hands kneaded my ass as his teeth grazed my collar bone; my hands were on his shoulders, nails raking across his shoulders through his shirt, head tilting back in utter bliss.
I saw stars momentarily as my head hit the metal locker behind me. Pain exploded in the back of my head causing a loud sudden thud to echo through the locker room as I swore out loud.
Tim practically jumped back; his hands slipping from my buttocks to my thighs as he dropped me unceremoniously, barely letting me get back on my feet. My hand went to the back of my head, feeling for blood or any other damage as Tim took another step back, his hand rubbing across his mouth.
"I... I'm sorry... I just...I can't..." Tim's eyes were wide, staring at me in disbelief.
I pulled my hand away, glancing down at it to see no blood. It was just a bad bump.
"I didn't mean..." he hesitated, running his hand through his hair before continuing. "Look I'm sorry."
"You know, your saying sorry an awful lot for something that is becoming a regular occurrence." I said softly.
Tim wrapped his arms around himself and glanced at the door before sighing.
"You think I'm leading you on." He stated.
I leaned back against the lockers, staring at my hands.
"I didn't say that." I returned quietly.
"You didn't have to." He muttered.
I sighed, the silence between us stretched until Tim broke it.
"When I'm around you, I feel like its back then, when we were happy and things weren't as screwed up as they are now." Tim confessed.
"I can't help that. I'm trying to keep things separate but you're not helping." I was pacing now, running my hands through my hair as he turned his gaze back to me.
He was sitting down now on the bench ion the locker room looking forlorn, his head in his hands as he spoke.
"I thought I could do this. I thought we could be friends...But this...this isn't working Kate. I'm trying as hard as I can, but you just keep sucking me back in...I can't function when your around."
I let out a deep breath, clenching my jaw. I could feel my temper slipping. The whole day I'd been wrestling with my emotions, trying to fix everything in my head. Trying to make sense of it all. Tim was right, he was leading me on. A mixture of raw anger and utter sadness was filling my veins and I'd been trying to restrain myself all day but I was getting to a boiling point.
I paused my pacing, feeling an imminent tension head ache coming on. I pinched the bridge of my nose in attempt to stifle it.
"So what do you want to do? What do we do?" I asked Tim, feeling bitterness deep inside me and above all hurt.
He closed his eyes tightly before exhaling and opening them again. His arms wrapped around himself as he raised his eyes to me.
"We have to stay away from each other; we have to keep things separate. It's the only way I can deal with you being back in my life." Tim gestured with his hands while he spoke, a clear sign that he was agitated.
I crossed my arms over my chest, and swallowed hard before bowing my head.
"You know what...I can't do this. I can't be around you right now Tim. You are not the only one that is trying their best to get on with their lives. I work damn hard every single day just to live with myself for the mistakes I've made. Every time I look at you I see the biggest regret of my life and it kills me that this keeps happening, because my feelings haven't changed Tim. They never did."
I was yelling now, and I couldn't stop. All that pressure, the anger and the pain that I was feeling was leaking out of me, leaving me feeling tired and emotionally drained.
"I can't fight this anymore Tim. I'm trying to and you ramming me up against Hummers and lockers reminding me of the good old times isn't helping. Especially when you've made it pretty damn clear you want nothing more from me. So you can shove your antiseptic wipes and the little shared jokes we used to have and stick it where the sun don't shine, because I don't want to have to even speak to you unless its work related."
And with that I was out the door, slamming it shut behind me leaving him to wallow in his own misery.
I had had enough of being walked all over. I was sick to death of being hurt.
We were back at the place where it had all started. Melissa Starr's house was still beautiful and blooming with roses. It was the roses that given her away.
A crime of passion but not in the traditional sense.
For Melissa it was all about the battle of the sexes, a war she thought that women as a sex were losing. It was never about war, it was about power and for the woman who had everything, everything wasn't enough. Melissa needed a thrill.
Melissa Starr was dominant, and Noel Peach's infringement on her life wasn't welcome. The call records showed Noel calling Melissa up to fifteen times a day, the calls lasting up to a minute at a time. Melissa was losing control and then being driven by her own prejudices she decided to put an end to Noel, permanently.
She'd stolen the condom from the school teacher's purse and poured Red Kill into the latex barrier, before using it to give Noel one last ride.
I was standing across from her now, studying her beautiful features in disgust. There was a yell from the garden; I twisted my head to see Speedle holding up the used condom for me to see. His eyes never met mine. Then again I don't expect him to.
"You could have killed yourself." I growled at her. "You killed a guy because he was in love with you."
"Why is it always about what the man wants? His needs, his desires, his orgasm! I thought you of all people would understand" she exclaimed, her face contorting in manic smile.
"I'm never gonna be able to understand." I told her; shaking my head and taking my cuffs off my belt.
"Turn around." I ordered as Bernstein appeared by my side.
Melissa's shoulders slumped in resignation as she did as she was told.
"At least I got a new type of thrill." She cackled as I clicked the cuffs onto her wrists and then tightened them.
"Your gonna be getting a whole new type of thrill where your going." I snarled, grabbing her by the arm and hauling her towards the waiting patrol car, Bernstein flanking us all the way.
I opened the door to the patrol car, while Bernstein helped Melissa in.
"You could have been one of us." She said; that same insane smile never leaving her features.
I found myself run cold at her words, my facial expression becoming blank.
"I could never be like you." I snapped, slamming the car door in her face before hitting the roof twice signally to the driver the Melissa was good to go.
As I watched the car disappear from sight, I realized although the case was closed I was still left feeling unfulfilled and empty.
The case was over; Noel Peach's family had the closure they deserved and his killer Melissa Starr was now residing in an eight by eight cell. Yet Tim Speedle felt no peace inside his soul.
Usually he felt satisfied when they closed a case, but right now he simply felt numb. Numbness was a feeling he was accustomed to, it was the one thing that had kept him going through the years. The only way he kept living.
Now it wasn't merely something to help him cope, it was his defence mechanism. The walls were closing in again, like they always did when he needed to think and repair. But where had they been when he needed them?
Those walls he erected to protect himself had failed him and now he was watching, with a dull ache in his chest, the woman he had once loved tread down each of the steps leading from the Crime Lab toward her Silver BMW Coupe.
There was no bounce in her steps; the feeling of elation that came with closing a case was absent. She was upset, he could tell in the way she slumped her shoulders, the fact her head was bowed as she stalked towards her car. To the outside world she looked strong, and wilful. But he knew her and he knew right at this moment she was at her most vulnerable; she just hid it better than most.
No matter how much she tried to hide it, he could always see right through her.
Kate was pinching the bridge of her nose again, a clear sign of a tension head ache. She had been on prescription pain killers during the exam period in Columbia, the intense pressure had almost broken them both, but they'd come through with their Master's Degrees. He'd never been as proud as he had when he'd seen her up on that stage at graduation. The only thing they'd had was each other; both of them were orphans in one way or another.
Kate's parents had been killed during her high school days, in a car accident. She didn't talk about it often; it had taken almost a year for her to tell him what had actually happened to her parents. She'd inherited a trust fund at the tender age of twenty one, and used it wisely to fund her way through college, and eventually her MA after she made it through the academy.
His own story was different. His parents were still alive and living in New York. They hadn't spoken since he'd picked up and left after his friend Marty had been paralysed in a freak accident that Tim himself had walked away from virtually unscathed. His parents didn't understand the crippling guilt that plagued him after Marty had died on the operating table during the third surgery to correct his spine. He'd dropped out of education, and disappeared for a year.
He barely remembered that year himself. A lot of booze, a lot of girls, side jobs and a deep downward depression. It was when he ended up in hospital having to have his stomach pumped from alcohol poisoning that Tim decided enough was enough. He needed to get himself back on his feet and he needed help.
So a year after his disappearance Tim made the one call he'd been dreading. He called home.
His father had put the phone down on him, immediately. He was dead to them.
So Tim Speedle learnt to pick up the pieces of his life, alone.
Then he met Kate Callahan and everything changed. He discovered someone exactly like him, and it startled him how easy she was to be around. He found himself opening up and telling her things he'd not told a soul before. He liked trusting someone like that. She believed in him and she gave him hope. He started to live again, and he knew he had her to thank for it.
Watching her now, he wondered where that girl had gone. Kate had changed and so had he, but his emotional battlefield between them had not. His heart kept telling him that she was the same as always, she was Kate. He loved Kate, he trusted her. Hence why he was slipping backwards again.
Just having her near him brought back feelings and memories he kept buried or hidden in the box at the back of his closet. He couldn't stand next to her without feeling his heart beginning to beat a little faster in chest, just like it used to whenever she walked into a room and smiled at him, her secret smile, the one she used only for him.
Kate was inside her car now, sitting in the driver's seat. The engine wasn't running, she was just sitting there, the back of her hand near her mouth her elbow resting against the padding underneath the window of the door. The deep set weariness on her face told him exactly how she felt, she was emotionally exhausted and he knew he was the source of that.
They were back to square one it would seem after her explosion in the locker room. He had to admit he deserved it. He'd given her everything he knew she wanted and then taken it away all over again, just like she has all those years ago.
The truth was he couldn't stand to hurt her the way he was doing despite all the hell that had passed between them. This was never his intention. On the first day she'd appeared in back in his life, he was adamant he was going to stay as far away from Kate Callahan as humanly possible. Yet he still felt that connection between the two of them. Although they had changed, it was still as strong as ever and no matter how much he tried he couldn't' shake it.
That scared him, because that meant he wasn't in control anymore. He relished control it was what he needed now more than ever. Yet every time she was around it slipped and he found himself falling back into old habits. He couldn't do that anymore, for both their sakes, he knew it was hurting her as much as it was hurting him.
Just seeing her sitting in the car contemplating was enough to break his heart into a million little pieces all over again. But he couldn't do it, he couldn't go to her. He couldn't take a step forward and trust her again, because he was convinced that she'd just break his heart all over again, and he wasn't sure he would be able to survive that this time around.
So in an act of self preservation Tim Speedle did the one thing he never thought he'd do. He turned his back on Kate and left her to deal with it the same way he would.
Alone.