• Justin's POV •
We laid in bed, lookin' at each other, sayin' nothing at all but it was the kind of nothing that meant everything.
Two days ago, I sat on a rooftop, wishin' I was right here beside her 'cause I couldn't let the thought of us go. I imagined her tracin' my tattoos just like she's doing now. I thought she hated me and I could understand why 'cause I hate myself too. I think about wakin' up beside anyone else and it strikes me with this dreadful feeling. I don't wanna lose this.. I can't lose her, she can't give up on me, so I will never let her down, again.
She laced her fingers between mine and smiled softly, lookin' at me as if there were somethin' to be seen.
"I wish we could lay here forever," I whispered.
Noah propped herself up on her elbow, "are you hungry- should I order room service?" I loved the way her eyebrows raised in curiosity as she blinked.
I love how her lips pursed as I said, "I'm alright."
I know that love is a dangerous word and I shouldn't be using it so lightly but I do love everything about this girl. She's flawless, I see nothing wrong with her other than the fact that she doesn't hate my guts 'cause what I did was really wrong- the worst thing I could've done, but she can still look at me and smile? She even woke me up smothering my face in kisses.
Maybe, she doesn't see that I'm toxic- she'd have to be quite ignorant not to though.
My heart swelled up in my chest, stomach burstin' with butterflies as she climbed on top of me. "What're you thinkin' about?" She pushed the messy hair back out of me face.
I smiled, "you." Noah leaned forward and kissed me softly, "I'm always thinkin' about you- in the middle of night when I can't sleep, I see you in my dreams, then I wake up and think about you all day."
She laid her hands on my chest, her eyes narrowed, "even when-"
I knew what she was gonna say before she said it, "even then-" I sighed, "but baby.. Don't think about that." I smoothed the frizzy hairs on top her head- even lovin' thoses. "You are the only person that I wanna hold in my arms- forever."
She smiled, rollin' her eyes then said, "forever is a very, very.. long time, Justin."
"That's okay with me." I nodded, "I could spend my whole life with you."
She doesn't understand how badly I wanna be good enough for her, I've had relationships in the past but not any of those girls made me wanna change for the better- if anything, they had me pickin' up a bottle more often. I enjoy being with her. Noah laid her head on my chest. I said, "if we can get through this then- baby, I believe we can get through anything."
"What if I can't forgive you?" She asked after a few hesitant seconds, "what if I never trust you again?" Noah picked her head up and faced me, "what kind of forever would that be?" She looked at me one last time then climbed out of bed- the look on her face put a ache in my heart.
I sighed, draggin' my fingers through my uncombed hair. I watched her walk over and grab her phone from the nightstand with her lips pursed and an attitude written in her expression.
What just happened? Everything was goin' so fucking well.
"Noah.." I rolled over and dangled my feet over the side of the bed. She didn't look my way- just kept tappin' on her phone screen. I leaned forward and slid my hands around her waist, lookin' up at her and asked, "do you believe what I'm tellin' you?"
She glanced at me and said, "my fathers been calling all morning.."
"Okay-" I pressed my forehead against her stomach, holdin' her against me and I know she's upset, but this isn't something that's fixable over night. I've gotta earn her trust. I pulled away and stood up, scratching the scuff on the side of my face, "you should probably call him back." I headed toward the bathroom with my own phone in my hands.
I'm shocked it isn't dead, I scrolled through the missed calls from Stella and the texts which read; call me back asap!!!!
Am I gonna call her back?
I pondered the thought while I took a piss. Why does she need to talk to me? We said our goodbyes back in New York and the only reason I've come back is to be with Noah, I don't wanna get tangled back up in Stella's drug sellin' ways. I've gotta get a good payin' job and make somethin' of myself. I could go back to school and get a degree. Someday, I'll be comin' home- carryin' a brief case and kissin' Noah and our child at the front door.
"Wow.." I laughed as I zipped my jeans back up. I shouldn't be getting so far ahead of myself but that life sounds perfect.
I'm not callin' Stella back- not yet anyway.
Walkin' out of the bathroom, I had a hopeful smile on my face but it became a frown when Noah wasn't standin' where I left her.
I could hear her voice somewhere closer by though, and she sounded annoyed.
"No," she groaned. "I don't understand why I've gotta come.." I realized she was in the closet- talkin' to her father, so I sat on the edge of the bed and quietly waited with my hands folded in my lap. "Jayde and I are friends- that isn't why I don't wanna go," she snapped, steppin' out the closet. She pulled her phone away from her ear and rolled her eyes, then put it back and said, "alright.. I'll be there."
She threw the phone and her body on the bed, I glanced over my shoulder and smirked 'cause although she was upset, she's still beautiful and I adored the pissed off look on her pretty little face- especially 'cause it wasn't put there by me. I wanted to just kiss her 'till she smiled again.
"What's wrong?"
"I've gotta have dinner with Eddy, Jackie and Jayde.. tonight."
I stuck my hand in my pocket, searchin' for my cigarettes as I asked, "why don't you wanna go? And who's Jayde?"
With a blank stare, Noah said, "my step- sister." She slouched her shoulders, lookin' defeated..
I made my way to her and kissed her cheek. "Maybe, he's gonna apologize for sayin' what he said, and not make you move out anymore."
"I dont think so," Noah said. "My father isn't the type to apologize." She threw her legs over mine and rested against me, sayin', "it's too late for that now anyway, I wanna move out. I'm too old to still be livin' under my father's roof-" she rolled her eyes, "even if it is a hotel." I silently agreed, thinkin' of all the things we could do with a house all to ourselves. I smirked 'till she said, "but I've gotta feelin' it's gonna be somethin' bad."
What could her father possibly do- take her money away? That would suck for her but, she'd get use to it, eventually.
"I could come with you?" I suggested since Edward's bringing his Jayde and Jackie, who I'm assumin' is his wife. I wouldn't want Noah feelin' alone or ganged up on- if it is something bad.
"No way-" she laughed. "Justin, my father has no clue that we even know each other and he never can."
How could Noah and I ever be in a serious relationship if I never meet her father properly? What the hell, "why not?"
She closed her eyes and rubbed her lips together. "I didn't mean it like that-" she grabbed my face, "not never like never but.. not for a while." She glanced at my eyes then my lips, "once the times right- okay?" I nodded, somewhat understandin'.
I couldn't help feelin' rejected but then she kissed me and the weight lifted off my chest. We've gotta establish our own relationship before meeting each others families. I realized something then- when will Noah wanna meet my mom?
Noah pecked my lips but pulled away, frowin', "get out 'cha head, babe- be here with me."
"I'm here," I uttered against her cheek. "I'm-" I kissed her pursed lips, "right here."
She positioned herself up on her knees and laced her arms around my neck, "I do wanna believe you, Justin." She rested her forehead on mine and stared into my eyes. I remembered askin' her that before and she didn't respond until just now, "but I don't know how long it'll be 'till I trust you again."
I took a deep breath and promised her somethin', "I'll still be here when you do- no matter how long it takes."
She bit her lip as she smiled, I put my hand on the back of her neck and pulled her lips to mine, smilin' when our lips made the smackin' sound and we kissed again- harder, longer this time. Our chest rising in sync as I left kisses along her jawline. I loved havin' her in my arms.
I suddenly felt somethin' vibrating against my thigh, Noah felt it too but didn't loosen her grip on my hair. I ignored it as well and kept suckin' on her neck, her soft eager moans drivin' me insane. The phone vibrated for two minutes straight, but I couldn't detach myself from her body.
I dug in my pocket and grabbed the phone, then answered it without even lookin' at the number.
I guess, I already knew who it was.
My breath hit my own face as I breathed against her neck, "I'm busy-"
"He turned himself in," Stella stated. "The fucker who murdered our friend turned himself in."
-
Anxious and aggravated, I opened Stella's car door and plopped down in the passenger seat with a lit cigarette between my lips as I slammed the door shut. She said, "what the fuck took you so long?" I just glanced at her then at myself in the review mirror. "Look at you-" she scoffed, hinting at the hickeys on my neck. "How long have you been back? Why didn't you return my calls? Lots of shits been goin' on, man! I'm freaking out and you're-"
"What are you talking about?" I stressed, turnin' toward her. I thought today was gonna be a good one but now, Stella's got me questionin' that. I had to get out of bed and leave Noah. She really didn't want me to go... She was kissin' on my neck- basically doin' anything she could to make me stay but, I just had to go.
I can see now that Stella needed me.
She shifted the car and sped away from the curb and began to explain, "my guy got busted this mornin' and the guy turned himself in yesterday- he might be rattin' people out." She drummed her fingertips on the steering wheel and flicked the blinker on.
"Well.. What's his-"
"His names Carter Matthews," I'd never heard the name before. Stella continued, "he's married, has a daughter but she's in middle school and he's a college professor." She puffed on her cigarette a few times before tossin' it on the window.
"How'd you find this out?"
She glanced slyly at me, "I did some easy research then made a few phone calls.. and got a visitation set up."
I licked my lips, fixin' the beanie on my head before I asked, "why would a college professor have any reason to murder Cole?" Cole probably never even set foot on a college campus, how'd this Carter guy know him? I didn't understand and there were so many other things runnin' through my mind. I needed to focus, but I was already missin' Noah.
"I don't know," Stella shrugged. "I'm assuming since he turned himself in.. Then maybe, he's willing to come clean."
• Noah's POV •
Why does my father want me attending a dinner with his family? I've disappointed him, I'm nothing but a disappointment to the Hayes name.
No, don't think that. It isn't true.
I cranked the radio up louder, tryin' to think positive like Justin told me to do before he kissed me on the lips and walked out the door. Glancin' at myself in the review mirror, I rubbed my lips together and sighed while stoppin' at a red stoplight.
My phone began to vibrate in my lap, I wouldn't have answered it- if it was anyone other than Justin. I smiled, thinkin' about how he'd just crossed my mind before calling.
We greeted one another at the same time, we laughed about it afterward.
"Are you on your way to dinner?" He sounded kind of tired.
"Yeah, are you with Stella still?"
He said he was and told me to call him back once I'd handled my family business. I smiled when the call was over, because I knew I'd be sleepin' in his arms again, tonight.
I know he messed up and I may look like a fool but, I am my happiest with him and that's what matters to me. He makes me feel cared for and loved, I almost wanna look past his mistake- pretend like it never happened, it isn't possible though. There are often moments when Justin and Elle come to mind, I hate those moments the most.
I pulled into the restaurants parking lot, instantly noticin' Jayde standin' at the front doors with her phone pressed against her ear. The knots in my stomach tensed as I think of all the things that could go wrong tonight. I park the car and hand the valet my keys. He complimented my car, but I'm too 'in my head' to thank him.
"Noah!" Jayde squeals, hurryin' toward me. "I've missed your beautiful face," she says and tosses her arms around me. I buried my face in her bundles of hair, huggin' her while she apologized for missing my performance at the Annual Holiday Hayes but honestly, I wouldn't have noticed her presence anyways. I was all about Justin that night and I'm not sayin' that was a good thing either...
As we enter the restaurant, the atmosphere is so hot and stuffy- my sweater and jeans stick to my skin. I pulled my sleave to the side and let it hang off my shoulder, feelin' as if I'm suffocating only nodding my head and looking around as Jayde rambled on. About what? I haven't got a clue.
My fathers chosen another hibachi restaurant however- my eyes rolled.
I could feel a lump formin' in my throat. My legs almost goin' weak as we got closer to the table, because I was so nervous and stuck on all the possible 'what ifs.'
Earlier, I called my Nonna but she didn't answer the phone which has definitely made me worry even more. I've tried not to assume the worst, but it's simply what I'm best at. I really hope she and my mother are alright.
Of all the faces in this crowded restaurant, I finally find my fathers- who already had his eyes on me. He leans over and whispers somethin' in his wife's ear then she looks at me again. I smile at the couple, lettin' out a deep breath when they smile back.
I didn't expect my father to stand up and greet me with a hug, but he did and Jackie pecked me on the cheek- I'm sure her dark lipstick was left behind on my check, but the thought was lost as I turned my head just a bit and seen someone.. I was not told would be here tonight.
"Have a seat Noah Jane," my father referred to the empty chair in between Ryan and Jayde. I'd been frozen for a moment, but still forced my legs to move. "We've been waiting for you to get here to order." Ryan pulled the chair out for me, not sayin' anything. I slowly sat down, avoiding any eye contact with him but I knew he was smirkin'.
Who invited him? Why did he come? I walked away from him the day I left London, leavin' him standin' alone in the airports parking lot after he'd confessed to still lovin' me. He shouldn't be here, this is beyond awkward and even a bit dreadful.
The clutch in my lap vibrated, knowing it was my phone, I reached inside and read the text message that'd just came across my screen.
From; Justin
are u almost finished?
To; Justin
I literally just sat down. 😭
The waitress had come and gone and everyone had their food set in front of them. They were all talking about something, expect me. I sat there, very anxious and antsy. I'd pull at the hairs on the back of my neck, or mess with my nails and picked at the pasta on my plate. The time drug on so damn slowly. I kept checkin' the time on my phone- well, more like waitin' on Justin's reply.
What if he really isn't with Stella? What if-
"Are you surprised to see me?" Ryan inched closer, finally speaking to me. I was beginning to think that he was gonna sit there in silence the entire dinner.
"Of course," I grinned, "my father didn't tell me you'd be here."
I needed conversation to get me out of my thoughts which only constant of what Justin's currently doing. How do I know I can believe him when he says he's with Stella? I could forgive him but being able to actually trust him again is totally different.
"I know," Ryan smirked. "I asked him not to- I wanted to surprise you."
Justin replied then, sending a second message before I could even read the first.
From; Justin
Sorry lol
I miss you so hurry up 😉
I glanced away from the text, smilin' so hard my dimples were surely showing. He misses me.
"I'm not with Ash anymore," Ryan suddenly informed me. I pulled my lip between my teeth, my mind drawing a blank on the name. Eventually, it hit me. He's actually meaning to say- he's single now. I remember him mentioning that his relationship was complicated- could that have been because he likes telling girls he loves me while he's in a relationship?
I'm just not interested in what's comin' out of his mouth. We had a good time on my birthday but things have changed- it's clear who it is I wanna be with now.
Jayde set her fork down and asked, "could you go to the bathroom with me?" I swear, she must've know I needed some saving. I nodded and stood up, but Ryan stopped me by catchin' my fingertips in his hands.
What's wrong with him?
"I'm going to the restroom," I yanked away after he winked.
"I can't believe him," I scoffed once the bathroom door swung shut behind Jayde and I.
"Who?" She questioned from inside a stall.
"Ryan," I sighed, walkin' over to one of the many mirrors on the wall.
"Didn't you spend a few nights with him back in London?"
"Yes.." I tightened my ponytail and stated, "but just as friends."
"Oh," the toilet flushed- very loudly. I felt my back pocket for my phone but it wasn't there or on the counter. Shit, I must have left it at the table. She came out and started washin' her hands and said, "sorry- I just thought you fancied him still.." Our eyes met in the mirror, I looked down at my shoes because the subject is awkward and I wished I hadn't brought it up. I also wish he hadn't surprised me tonight.
"I thought I did too," I shrugged.
"Ryan swung by the house a few days ago," she told me as she dried her hands. "He and Edward talked- I don't know what about," she shrugged before turnin' on her heel.
As Jayde and I approached the table, I noticed my father was missing from the group. I figured he must've stepped out for an important phone call or is using the restroom. He wouldn't leave without having at least a conversation with me- would he? I sat back down and looked around for my phone, where could it have gone? Slowly, my heart beat began to race- y'know what it's like to misplace your cellphone?
I asked Ryan, "have you seen my phone?" He simply shook his head and filled his mouth with a spoonful of garlic mash potatoes. The waitress walked by and handed Jackie the bill for our meal, I asked, "where's Eddy?" He should've been back by now.
She grabbed her wallet while explaining, "Edward remembered; he has a meeting in Birmingham tomorrow morning." My father left that quick? "He's gotta get on the jet immediately," she sighed.
I'd leave right now- if only I knew where the hell my phone was!
Justin's waiting for my response.
"Noah, would you mind taking Jayde and Ryan back to the hotel?" Jackie asked me as she stood up, "I'm going to have a few drinks and start enjoying my vacation." She wiggled her shoulders, grabbing her purse. She didn't look at all bothered by my father leaving and I didn't wanna spoil her good mood- not that she would've let me, she was half way across the restaurant and the bill left behind on the table.
-
"What do you mean? Aren't y'all stayin' at the hotel- meaning hotel Hayes?"
"No," they answered without even glancin' my way as if they didn't notice the confusion on my face. "Mr. Hayes said-" Jayde interrupted Ryan, "all the rooms are booked."
"Really?" I scrunched my face up, "that's crazy." The hotel hasn't been completely filled up in months. "Well, just tell me how to get there then."
Jayde laughed, "we don't know this area!"
I laughed too then the idea of a GPS came to mind but I had to leave the restaurant without my phone- I didn't wanna but Ryan convinced me that if they find it, they'll call so I left them the number of the phone in my suite. I'm only worried because I need to call Justin but his numbers in my phone. I had Jayde call it over and over but, it went straight to voice mail.
Justin's gonna think I'm ignoring him.
I sighed, leaving the parking lot and tellin' Jayde to put the address in her GPS. I think it's gonna rain soon which will only make this night worse because I hate drivin' in the rain.
Hopefully, Justin just goes to my suite on his own.
Twenty minutes had passed- those minutes consisting of many turn arounds and slammin' on breaks because Jayde can not tell directions for the life of her!
"There aren't any hotels around here," I looked over my shoulder at Ryan then turned to Jayde.
Ryan chuckled, "clearly."
"Well, where the hell are we going?" I glared at him, deeply annoyed by him- I don't fuck with his energy and I'm still upset about the disappearance of my phone. He's only makin' things worse.
"I think we're close," Jayde said. "This thing says our destination is up on the left."
"Alright.." I mumbled and pressed on the gas pedal, prayin' that Jayde has the right address after all this driving around. We aren't even in the city anymore, there's just houses everywhere- the ones with tall black gates surrounding them. I should look around in this neighborhood for my new house..
I don't understand how they don't know where to go, didn't they come here once they got off the jet? They should remember where it's at! I don't mind givin' them a ride but I've got things to do- a guy to be cuddlin' with.
"This is it!" Jayde exclaimed, suddenly excited. She grinned, wigglin' around in the seat.
This is it? I looked past Jayde, seein' the huge house and my jaw dropped. "How- how long are y'all stayin' here?"
She insisted that I pull into the driveway, so I did, then I put the car in park and waited for them to get out. "Oh!" She gasped, "I forget- there's something I've gotta show you, please come inside!"
"I gotta go, I-" Jayde threw her seatbelt off and hoped out the car, not hearin' anything I said. I watched her scurry away, a bit confused by her ecstatic mood. She had been giggling a lot on the drive here too.
I decided to get out the car because I didn't wanna be rude.
Justin's probably wonderin' where I am- or maybe, he's not... you never really know.
As I closed the car door, I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to realize it belonged to Ryan. I rolled my eyes and he just laughed quietly, "welcome to your new home, love.." He threw his hand out- toward the house, my wide eyes followed.
"My what?" I asked when he started strollin' toward the house. "Ryan!" I called after him, but he didn't bother turnin' around and that angered me even more! I groaned, draggin' myself up the stoned drive way. I'm not sure I heard him right, is he sayin' this is my house? He stood by the front door for a moment, 'till I got to the steps and asked what the hell he was talkin' about, again.
He pushed the door open and stepped aside for me with a stupid smirk on his face. I sent him a confused glare, but entered the house anyway.
"What the-"
I found my father awaiting me inside.
Walkin' through the foyer with wondering eyes, I didn't know whether to be thrilled or terrified. It's become a routine ever since my teenage years- when something bad happens, Eddy gives me somethin' and this is a whole fucking house.
"I thought you had a flight to catch," I stood beside my father, both our eyes fixed on the dark orange and lavender sunset reflecting off the pool water and the lake behind the house. It's so beautiful- if I had my phone, I'd snap a picture.
"There is no meeting," he chuckled. "We planned this- we all wanted to suprise you." Jackie came walkin' down the hall then, a joyful smile on her face. Ryan was lingering in the foyer still, Jayde was the only one missin'.
"You should know.. I don't drink," she said- lockin' eyes with my father. "I'm the wife of a recovering alcoholic," Jackie spoke softly with the look of love in her eyes. She placed her hand on his chest,"it was just part of our little plan." She pecked my fathers cheek then mine, excusin' herself to go and find her daughter.
Will Justin and I ever be like them? Maybe? I caught myself smilin' at the thought but only time will tell.
My father watches her walk away, I notice there's a tint of red in his cheeks but it's gone before he begins to speak. "After the conversation you and I had in New York, I went home and chatted with Jackie and she made me realize how wrong I was." He took a deep breath, "I want you to know that I am very proud to call you my daughter and I feel horrible about the things I said to you."
I kind of felt like the wind had been knocked out of me, and finally hearin' the words come from his mouth helped me actually believe them.
He said, "and I know how much potential you have that's why I can't bare to see you waste it. I want you to change the word in all the ways that you can, I wanna see you succeed in this life- like I almost have," he added with a smirk then he finally looked away from the sunset and at me. "I have so much faith in you, Noah Jane- so much that I bought this house for you to live in."
I'm always speechless during deep conversations with my father. I never know what to expect, but walking into a house that he bought for me hadn't crossed my mind at all. I was too worried about my phone, Justin and all the little negative things instead of enjoying dinner with my family.
"I know the hotel is your home but, this'll be better for you and for me." He assured me, "I'll know you're safe in a house. There won't be any paparazzi getting behind that twelve foot gate outside or blocking the doors of my hotel any longer."
Before today, my father and I went the longest amount of time without talking that we ever have. I was really shocked this morning when I grabbed my phone and seen all his missed calls- of course, I amused something bad had happened but it looks like everything's swell. Eddy wasn't shutting me out of his life, he was buying a house to better my life.
He looked past me, I heard the sound of heels clacking against the marble floors and turned around- knowing Jackie had found Jayde.
Jayde looked at me and grinned, "have you told her yet?"
My father's back stiffened, a look of uncertainty on his face as he reached inside his pocket and cleared his throat. He must've been moving too slow for Jaydes liking because she started waving the gold key in her hand around and beaming with excitement, "we're gonna live together!"
My father handed me a key, but I'm not sure the feeling that struck me was excitement.
My mind was piecing some of the odd events that took place earlier together. Jayde purposely pulled me away to the bathroom so my father could leave and come here. Jackie said what she did so I wouldn't have a clue, however.. I still don't know what happened to my phone. I'm hoping it comes up soon.
I can't believe I'm gonna be living with Jayde- my step sister. She's so outgoing and beautiful, has the perfect body, and she's beautiful. Justin could take one look at her and not give me a second thought.
"You may not under any circumstances, throw a party in this house." I swallowed my amusement, noticin' Jaydes eyebrows furrow and her jaw dropped slightly. She'd probably already been thinking about the parties we could throw in this huge house.
I looked behind me for Ryan but he wasn't there anymore. I really hope he won't be living here too, that'd just be weird.
My father checked the time, mentioning that he hadn't realized how late it'd gotten. He'd been rambling on about responsibilities and exceptions for the past twenty minutes.
"We'll be going soon but first- one last thing," Jackie stood beside him, supporting every word he said. "Jayde's here for cosmetology school and you've got your modeling to purse- I only ask that you focus on your goals and as long as you do, you'll have this house to call home." He took a deep breath, "please girls... Don't ruin this house-
Jackie stepped in, "or there will be consequences." They both smiled tight lipped like and chuckled, but it was kind of intimidating.
"We'll behave ourselves," Jayde promised.
"We won't let y'all down," I promised and I intended on keepin' it. My father has baffled me completely tonight, they all planned this for me- even after the way I behaved in New York. I couldn't be more thankful than I am right now.
"Alright," my father pulled me in and kissed the top of my head, "I'll see you soon then." Jackie quickly said her goodbyes then followed him out.
Jayde and I were the only two left in the house.
She was the first to speak, "it was really hard not telling you about this!"
"How long did you know?"
She walked around- checkin' things out as she replied, "just since this morning but I think they've been planning this for some time now." I questioned her thoughts and she explained, "my mother's threatened to 'send me to the states' ever since the day she married Edward and I like pressing her buttons, thinking she'd never really do it." She laughed softly, "who's life would she be able to control then?" Her eyes rolled, sighing, "little did I know.. She was waiting for the perfect moment to break me- waiting until I finally, found someone to love me."
We took ourselves on a tour around the lower half of the house, talkin' as we went.
"She sent you away because you got a boyfriend?" I wanted to believe Jackie wasn't the momster Jayde made her out to be, why would my father be married to her if she were?
"It's a bit more complicated than that." We neared the front door and Jayde turned to me, "but I should go before she convinces them to leave me behind."
"She would really do that?" I asked as we hugged.
"I wouldn't put it past her," she shook her head. "Oh-" She was almost out the door when she remembered something. "I actually am staying at the hotel- saying I wasn't was just part of the plan."
I should have known that already, I smiled anyway, "let's get breakfast tomorrow mornin' then?"
She nodded, "I'll meet you in the lobby- around tenish?"
"I'll be there," I felt a breeze come in through the patio doors which reminded me to shut them.
Havin' Jayde around might be nice, I've missed havin' someone to shop with or get my nails down with and I've always wondered what'd it be like livin' with a sister- just as long as she stays away from Justin.
Goin' outside just as the Escalade left the driveway, I walked down the steps and turned around- looking up at the house that'll soon be my home. I doubt my father could've picked anything better and I haven't even seen any of the rooms yet. I'd love to look around but I still need to find Justin.
I started heading for my car- my lips pursed to side as I thought more about tonight and the fact that my phone is still missing, but then I heard somethin'. Quickly looking behind me, I seen Ryan, sittin' on one of the steps with a cigarette between his lips.
I walked over and sat beside him, "don't take this the wrong way but-" I rested my chin in my hands, "why are you still here?"
"Well," he kicked his legs out infront of him and ruffled his dark hair and for the first time tonight, I realized his hair wasn't perfectly quiffed.
"Mr. Hayes came to me with the impression that you needed some saving." He tossed the cigarette and continued as he blew out the smoke, "and I've always wanted to be your hero."
I sighed, smiling because he sounded ridiculous. "I'm not some damsel in distress, Ry'. I'm fine," I said.
The moon was out and shinin' bright up above us. The air was crisp and chilly, we listened to the sounds of the night for a moment. I knew the word to define me was far from fine but, I didn't wanna go into detail about the things that have happened or the thoughts in my head. It'll be easier to just lie and pretend that I'm fine until I actually am.
"How can I be sure you aren't lying to me, love?"
"You can take a look at the house I'm moving into, or the smile on my face." I gave him a million dollar smile, even showin' my teeth which I've always preferred not to do.
He cleared his throat and sat forward, "yes, but the house is just another thing and smiles can be forced just like that one was." I looked at him. His head slightly tilted, showing the tattoo on his neck which is identical to mine. I often forget about that tattoo, but I could never forget the quote it represents.
I smiled- a real one this time, "moonlight is proof that there will always be a light through the darkness." He looked over, smiling back. "Everyone has bad days, " I shrugged, "it's your decision how you handle them and I may be petite, but I'm strong where it matters." There's worse things I've dealt with than my best friend sleeping with the guy I like.
I'd slipped into thought suddenly and couldn't stop rambling. "They talk about how life's too short but, really it's big- it's too big to let unfortunate events ruin you."
Ryan stood up, offering out his hand to help me up. I took it as he asked me, "did you smoke something?"
Dusting off any dirt that might've gotten on my jeans, I rolled my eyes. "I don't need to be high to realize things," I scoffed on the walk to my car although I had more to say, but when I turned around Ryan had my phone in his hand. "What the f-"
"I'm sorry.. it wasn't part of the plan," he said as he placed it in my hand.
I glanced between the phone and him, "it wasn't part of the plan?" My face scrunched up in confusion. He faked scratchin' his nose just to hide his shameless smirk. He watched me panic and search for my phone when he had it all along? I wanted to scream in his face, but I've stressed enough for today and really, I'm too exhausted. My ponytail swung as I quickly whipped around, reaching for the door handle.
Ryan stepped in the way, "I couldn't help myself- I saw you smile every time your phone would buzz and the way your eyes lit up-"
"Don't be so dramatic Ry'," I scoffed, crossin' my arms over my chest.
"I'm being honest with you!" Stress stained his voice, his eyes went wide then he took a deep breath. "I guess, I just got jealous.."
I stepped forward and yanked the car door open, not caring that his body was in the way- he definitely got out the way though. I put one foot in the can and looked back at him, "I'm sorry if you came here with the impression that I needed you to save me."
I said, "I don't need savin'. I'm not broken and if you chose to stay in Miami-" I felt a raindrop hit my hand, "then you need to understand what I'm telling you; you and I are history. I'm not in love with you anymore.. I'm not sure I ever really was."
I dropped down in the seat and reached for the door, wanting to leave before he could say anything else. I didn't feel bad about what I'd said because it was the truth- he could take it or leave it, I gave zero fucks at the time.
He caught the door just before it shut and asked, "why'd you kiss me in that field on your birthday then?"
"You kissed me," I slammed the car door- locking it then shoved the key in the ignition. What kind of question is that? As I backed out of the driveway, I rolled the window, "and stealing my phone is the most childish thing you could've done!"
The raindrops begin to fall only seconds after the window was shut, I sped down the slippery streets- not paying the cars around me any mind and not even the radio could shut out my thoughts. I drove with my acrylic nail tappin' against my lip, completely zoned out. I couldn't stop seeing the look on Ryan's face, it's the same look he had at the airport.
He and Elle must feel the same way- both being rejected by the person they love. He stole my phone and Elle told me Justin killed an innocent man because.. Love can make one very shady.
The rain poured down hard as hell- makin' it impossible to see the streets. Where did this rain come from? The sun was shinin' all day. I can't drive any further.
I pulled over on the side of the road and picked my phone up. Shakin' my head, I powered it on and got mad at Ryan all over again. I cursed him out under my breath, watchin' text message after text message pop up across the screen. They were all from Justin.
I didn't respond, but called him instead. The rain beat against the metal roof of my car, not showin' any signs of slowing down and I sighed, waitin' to hear his voice on the other end.
"Noah? Babe, what-"
"I'll explain everything," I sighed in exhaustion. "Where are you?"
"I'm at the hotel," his voice was soft and sweet, "waiting for you."
💓💓💓
I haven't updated in in a month but it feels like a whole year!
I couldn't find a good place to add this in the chapter, so here's the outfit Noah wore to the dinner- minus the purse.
I swear, I always forget what I needed to say in these little notes.
I really miss Justin. I know he's touring and stuff but, I lived for his instagram post. I thought he'd be back by now.
ARIANA AND MAC THOUGH.
I fucking love em together. I've always wanted them to rise AND THE DIVINE FEMININE IS A BLESSIN'.
Don't have much to say about Fixing You, y'all just gotta keep reading and see what's next.
Xoxo, ❤