He kisses my forehead and holds my hand as we walk to the 3rd gate.
"Are you sure?" I say, resting my head on his shoulder and we hold each other for a few minutes.
"I'm sorry, Phil." He whispers and kisses the top of my head.
We stay like this for a while; mainly because I just can't let him go.
He starts to pull away, when I pull him back and hold him tighter. "C'mon Phil, I'm supposed to leave now."
"I can't stand being without my baby." I frown.
We pull away at last and he looks around, seeing everyone else leaving for the flight.
We walk over and it's just a few steps until I have to let him go.
"Don't leave me.." I start. "Please."
"Phil. I have to go."
He holds me for the last time, and starts to walk away when he hesitates.
He turns back around and pulls something out of his pocket.
He hands it to me and I look at it.
It's the picture of us I ripped when we were having problems.
He still has it.
He has had it for all this time.
He squeezes my shoulder and starts to walk away, leaving me standing there.
"Don't Miss Me, Phil." He says as we walks off.
I nod, but notice I'm only nodding to myself because by the time I do, everyone around me is gone.
I hold the photo close to my heart as I walk out of the big place.
It stretches around, and I don't really know where it ends.
I make my way home and throw myself onto the couch, thinking about it all.
I miss him so much.
I miss him and he hasn't even been gone an hour.
What am I going to do now?
What do I do for the rest of it?
Do I have purpose?
No, don't think such things. That is what Dan does..
Dan.
The name makes my heart ache.
I'm already regretting it.
I miss him.
I turn on the TV, trying to get my mind off of things.
But I can't.
I need him.
I need him next to me, I need him holding me.
I just need him.
What will I do to pass time?
He's not returning.
I lower the volume on the TV, as it is disrupting my thinking.
"Ugh. What a waste." I say.
I remember when he would make me take a shot every time I laughed at one of those Try Not To Laugh challenges and we would get absolutely hammered and hangovers would be endless.
Somehow I can still taste the alcohol and strong air.
I rub my eyes and try to think of something else.
Drugs, sex, alcohol, weed, strippers, clubs, RAVE. Noooooo.
I'VE BEEN THINKING TOO MUCH.
HELP ME.
I walk to his bedroom and throw myself onto Dan's bed,
and notice PJ's hands coming all over me.