Because Loving You is on #17 Spiritual this morning! :D Thanks everyone! Lots of Love xxx
After Durdanah fell asleep, Yusuf had been wandering around the apartment, he was tired but didn't feel like sleeping.
He sat on the table quietly reading and rereading the letter Rania had hastily written for him.
Durdanah's words rang clear in his mind. It didn't make sense that she would leave Hamsa. Rania had been a loving wife to Yusuf but her love for Hamsa was absolutely unparalleled.
"She's beautiful." Rania whispered into the amiable silence as she looked at her . "Beautiful."
Yusuf beamed with pride. "Isn't she? She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
"I'm sorry, Yusuf." She apologized suddenly much to Yusuf's confusion. "Hm, why?"
"I think I love her more than you." She chuckled as she smiled at her daughter with adoration in her eyes.
Yusuf placed a kiss onto her forehead, "I have both my girls here with me right now, what more could I want? I think I may love her more than you too." He winked, teasing her.
"But Yusuf just look at her. She's everything. She's so delicate and I think she's too precious for this world. Just look at how innocent and pure she is. No hate, no anger, no sadness." Rania spoke softly, just soft enough that Yusuf could just make out the words. Dismissing the tears in Rania's eyes that of happiness, he nodded.
"You know who she reminds me of?" Rania asked, a small smile playing on her lips.
"No, who?"
"Duri." She smiled, remembering her friend. It had been years since she'd seen her and while she was angry at Durdanah for not replying to any of her thousands of calls and texts, she still couldn't help but remember her fondly.
Yusuf looked at her as if for her to go on and elaborate. "Remember how I used to say how Duri was made of love? Hamsa has that same sparkle in her eye and I can't help but remember her when I look at Hamsa. I miss her, Yusi. "
Not knowing what to say, Yusuf brushed his lips against her temple and whispered sweet nothings.
"Yusi?"
"Ya?"
Rania looking at her daughter lovingly, "Isn't it cruel how our beautiful daughter will suffer in this cruel world?" Yusuf looked up alarmed at his wife's words.
"What do you mean?"
Rania gave a humourless chuckle and her somber hazel eyes looked into his light brown ones. "She has Down Syndrome, Yusuf. If people like us suffer so much, how much do you think Hamsa will? Promise me. Promise me you'll love and cherish her and protect her from this world should anything happen to me."
"I promise, love." He pulled her into his arms. "She's perfect." The two said at the same time as they held their adorable daughter.
Yusuf shook his head from the precious memory. It didn't make sense. Rania had loved Hamsa so much, she'd been obsessed with their daughter to the point even Yusuf would feel somewhat envious of all the love she showered upon Hamsa. So, why did she leave?
And, if she did, as much as he was grateful to her for not, but why didn't she take Hamsa with her?
His head was beginning to hurt from all of the thinking and he got up to go sleep when his eyes happened to rest on the book Durdanah had been reading earlier in the day.
"Love, Stargirl." Just a hint of a small played on his lips as his fingers grazed the title of the green book. It had been read over and over again. He opened the book and began reading. He could tell she loved it. Her favourite passages highlighted, and the pages were worn.
Durdanah had woken up again. Ever since she was young, she'd wake up several times in the middle of the night for no reason, and it'd be a miracle if she didn't wake up at least twice.
She got out of her bed and yawned as she stretched her arms out. Figuring Yusuf was still sleeping in his room, she didn't bother changing out of her pajamas.
About to open the hallway light, she realized that living room light was open. She followed the light to see Yusuf intently reading a book. Not wanting to disturb him at first, she checked the time.
3:37 AM.
What was he doing up this late?
She knocked on the wall to get him to notice her but to no avail. Left with no choice, she walked up closer to him.
"Yusuf?"
He looked up, looking a like a deer in headlights and immediately closed the book, trying to hide it from Durdanah.
It would be so embarrassing if she saw him reading that.
"Yusuf? Is everything okay?" She asked groggily, wiping the sleep from her eyes.
"Me? I'm just fine. I was just reading. Why are you up this late?"
She yawned. "I just woke up, I tend to wake up a lot during the night. It's an old habit of mine." She explained.
"What were you reading?" She asked, curious.
"Nothing."
"I've read that book by Janne Teller. It was an interesting concept but I guess the translation didn't do it justice. And I usually prefer bittersweet books but this one was dark." She replied thoughtfully. "Hm, maybe the book was better in its' native German, I suppose."
Yusuf looked at her oddly. "Actually, I was reading this." He showed her Love, Stargirl. Durdanah's eyes lit up in recognition at the worn out copy of the book.
"I was reading this earlier today."
"You read a lot, don't you?" Yusuf asked.
"Maybe I do." Durdanah tucked her arms inside her t-shirt making it look like she was armless. It was cold.
"Are you cold?"
"Nmhm."
"What is that supposed to mean?" He asked, amused.
"Nah, It's okay. I'm good."
"By the way, what are you wearing?"
Durdanah looked down and flushed in embarrassment. She was wearing a red tshirt that reached her knees.
"My stache brings the girls to the yard." He read slowly. She shook her head. He was enjoying this a little too much.
"Wali's friend gave him to this and you know how tall Wali is and I might've kinda stole it."
"Your brother's friend has some interesting fashion sense." He mused.
"It's comfy." She shrugged.
Yusuf stared at her and Durdanah looked at him.
"What?" She asked quietly. Oh no. Did she anger him? Was he mad? She quickly fixed her t-shirt. "I'm so sorry."
"I was wrong." He whispered. "You still sparkle." He paused for a moment as he looked into her eyes. "Even after all you've been through, you still sparkle."
Her breath hitched. What was he saying?
"What?" She choked.
"You didn't let idiots dim your light." He smiled at her before shaking his head. "Nevermind, whatever."
They sat in an amiable silence, each lost in their thoughts before Yusuf spoke up.
"That book. It's old."
Durdanah nodded, smiling. "Do you remember?"
He shook his head much to Durdanah's disappointment. Well, of course it made sense. She was just Durdanah and he had never paid much attention to her.
Her smile faltered as she spoke. "You gave it to me." She murmured.
"Hey, Duri." She looked up from the book she was reading to look at the boy standing in front of her.
"Hi, Yusuf. Rania's coming in a few minutes. She got detention for talking in class." She dismissed him.
"Is that a present for Rania?" He was holding something behind his back. He shook his head.
"Nah."
"Oh."
"Come on, Duri! Stop reading for just a second." Yusuf didn't know what came over him when he saw this book on the bookstands at Chapters but he just had to buy it. Durdanah would cry tears of joy upon realizing there's a sequel of Stargirl.
"Mhm." She muttered as she read. Yusuf grabbed the book in irritation. "Duri!"
But when he saw that the book she was reading was the same one he'd bought for her last night, his smile faltered and turned into a scowl.
He walked away, tossing the book towards her. "Here."
Befuddled, Durdanah picked up the identical crisp new book from the floor and wiped away the dirt before smiling brightly.
"Thank you." She smiled quietly to herself at his retreating back as she clutched the book to her chest.