Enjoy my loves!!! :)
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I stood at the edge of the dock, a sickening smile on my lips. I knew it looked overly sweet, and the thought of my lips curling up in joy after the news that I was given... it was enough to cause my stomach to churn like butter. My hands shook, so I clasped them together in front of me, refusing to wave goodbye to Lord Vedil. If I rose my hand now, Skyrin would see the affect that he had on me, even after so many cycles apart.
He stood behind me, legs shoulder width apart, his face blank of any expression, hands clasped behind his back. I could feel a violet gaze ripping through my skin as he watched my every movement. The air picked up against the golden and red sea, the late hours of the afternoon now upon us, the sun slowly starting to sink into the Red Sea once again.
Father stood to my side, Mother on his arm, smiling at the boat that was slowly starting to bob away into the waved sea. Tennekoot was flying above head, seeming to be flying circles around the entire sea, large and wide wings easily letting him glide across the wind. I envied him for a few moments, knowing that a female was not able to ever turn into a dragon. It had killed so many children during their first change, and it soon had become very prominent that women were just not capable of that transformation.
But, with the death of flying, we were given the birth of life, able to mate at the beginning of the year, when our bodies were cycled and ready to bring forth life once again. Perhaps I would be carrying my child in only a few short weeks.
"You are very quiet, my child." Father spoke, his eyes watching as the ship slowly started to fade into the horizon. I never spoke, just felt the salted wing brush against my skin and hair, the skirts of my dress flowing behind me as I stood on the edge of the dock. Part of me wished to jump into the water, swim after him, leave Skyrin behind.
Yet, the other part of me was rejoicing, knowing fully well the intentions that we both wished. But, it was my duty to refuse, keep strong and pure for my future husband and King. Well, as pure as I was able to keep myself now.
"Is there something troubling you?" Father asked as we turned, moving to the carriage, the Palace in the distance. It would take us a short while to reach the gates once again. And I dreaded knowing that Mother would wish to strike conversation, while Father flew above head with Skyrin. If Skyrin flew above to scout. I found myself doubting that very thought. "You are never this quiet, Naomi." He spoke again, stopping and bending down slightly, tilting my chin up with his index and thumb.
I found myself smiling, giving a small nod to comfort him.
Though he did not show it very often, I could still see the concern dancing in his aging eyes. I could practically see the cycles adding to the fine wrinkles under his eyes, along with the smile lines that were so prominent when he laughed at something that my siblings or Mother had said or done. He never truly laughed as much wish me, seeming to always keep a closer eye out for me. Was it because I was his only Daughter? Or was it that I would soon be married, being intimate, baring children? Has that caused him to grow more serious with me?
"I am alright, I simply just have been listening to the waves crash on the shore." I whispered, stepping up the step to sit in the carriage. Mother was behind me, Skyrin having helped the both of us. Father rose a brow at me, only to let out a soft sigh, nodding his head. I had not lied when I told him that, though I suppose that I wasn't being as honest as I should have been. But, surly the small details of my inner thoughts were not needed to be shared. "Truly, I am alright, Father." I said with a smile, hoping to reassure him.
Mother watched me, tilting her head to the side, only to look at the ocean, watching the waves crash on the shore. I could see the small speck of the ship in the distance, along with Tennekoot above head, flying in small dips and circles, seeming to be catching the wind.
__________
We had returned to the palace as night started to fall across the land. Small blinks of light winkled from the Kingdom, along with the nighttime sky. I had skipped supper for the evening, knowing that there was still a few letters that I would be having to read and write. Many letters had come in from cousins and citizens, some congratulating the marriage and bond of the kingdoms, while others were simple concerns and requests from across the land. Mother and Father had been so kind as to let me start fixing the problems of our people, seeing what was needed and what wasn't.
And, at the time of receiving the new duty, I found joy in it, comfort from it even. I would lose myself in the letters, finding the my quill pen never ran dry of ink. My wrist and fingers hurt from the constant move of my fingers, the letters scrolling out in calligraphy before me. But now, I would catch myself slowly drifting off into my mind.
Several hundreds of letters soon turned into only a hundred through out the day, and my pen had become so dry from the ink, it had broke at the tip. Now, here I stood on my balcony, a goblet of wine sitting on the railing, and I watch as the dragons flew above head, vanishing into the clouds, only to return with the stars blinking behind them. I was procrastinating from my duties, from the wedding, writing letters, listening to concerns, and taking action that was needed on small things.
But, as of recently, I just simply couldn't muster up the willpower to do such things.
My nights were filled with stripping fear, blood filling my mind from the nightmares, and a scream constantly logged in my throat. It was unnerving, and I wished that it would stop. The only time that it had... I let out a sigh, bringing the cup to my lips, tasting the bitter sweet taste of the drink. Skyrin seemed to be the only thing that would stop my from swaying in the wind. He was the foundation that I stood on, my shelter that shielded me from the strong storms and tides of the land. Yet, I had refused to return home, turned away from protection, going to stand on my own.
Closing my eyes, I felt the pounding behind my eyes begin to deepen as time went on, and the more that I drank. My head ached, was filled with a dazzling fuzz that reminded me of a furl's pelt. It was soft and hazy, keeping me from seeing clearly, and with it, the pain of something stabbing into my third eye, my mind.
For a few brief moments, I allowed myself to seep into the pain of my slightly drunken state. I allowed my body to sway and lay on the railing of the balcony. For a few, just a few short moments, I allowed myself to just be me, to feel the pain and take it with open arms. This that I felt, it was my pain, and my pain alone. It didn't effect anyone but me, and I enjoyed the knowing of that.
But, it's never enough.
The sound of wings flapping came from over head, and I found myself snapping my gaze up to watch. Skyrin flew above head, black and purple scales sparkling in the full moons light, reflecting off comfort and power. He had been circling around, rising into the clouds, and plummeting down to the earth, only to swing back up, leaving the breeze to follow behind him. It was magical, mesmerizing even, to watch him as he flew. And I found myself being envious of him.
Up there, away from the land, the palace, the kingdom he was free of worry, of thoughts and cares. For a few moments, he would be nothing, floating on air, flying above all worry and fear.
Why was I not able to grasp something like that?
I watched him for a few more moments, the cool breeze of autumn slowly sinking into the wind, finding myself wishing that I could join him. Not just in this life, in the now, but for many cycles to come, and so far beyond that.
The slight chill of the air caused me to grab my robe, wrapping it tightly around me. My hair flowed around, a curtain of black that seemed to curve and curl around in the wind. Some strands seemed to be reaching out towards him, while others flowed around my body. It was the perfect representation of what my emotions and thoughts had been the past several days.
"Naomi?" I heard behind.
I found myself snapping out of my thoughts, and I looked over my shoulder to see Regina looking at me with a smile.
"Are you ready to turn in for the night?" She asked, coming to stand out on the balcony with me. I shook my head no, going to look back up as Skyrin took another turn around the palace, only to seem to lift up, going towards the kingdom. "He's so graceful." She whispered in awe. I found myself smiling, nodding my head in agreement.
Regina wore her robes, her fiery hair flowing down her back in natural waves, freckles covered in the cotton of the cloth that covered her pale skin.
"Do you ever become envious of men?" Regina asked, tilting her head slightly as we watched the moons rise higher into the sky, mixing in with the swirls of navy, black, purple, and golden stars of the night sky. "It makes me wonder why they are able to fly, and we are meant to stay on the land, never leaving it." Letting out a slight sigh, she reached for the goblet, going to take a drink.
"I feel as if there is something that you are trying to hint at, yet I'm too exhausted to make the connection." Looking at her with a slightly playful glare, I shook my head. "So please, for my sanity, just tell me what you are trying to say."
Regina smiled, shrugging her shoulders.
"There's really nothing that I am trying to say. My personal thought is just that, a thought. I always wonder why women are the ones to bear children, and the men that are strong change and fly. Was it thought out by the gods? Or was it just fate that seemed to mold men and women into what was needed to be to keep the lands balanced? No one knows," she looked at me with a smile. "But, I suppose that's the beauty of it: Not knowing what will happen, or why it happens. It's you who must decide what will happen in your life. You can choose if it was predestined, or take what is given, and smile anyhow."
I found myself watching Skyrin as he flew back, violet eyes glowing in the night sky. My heart skipped a beat, her words sinking into me.
"Yes, I suppose you're right." I whispered, feeling the warmth spread over my body as our gazes locked, violet eyes watching me, softening from the hardened glare that he held only a moment ago.
And I smiled up at him, finding myself wondering if perhaps there was a way to fix the wrong that I had done, that we had done to each other, and yet still hold the kingdom together.
Turning away, I started to head towards my chambers, the wine causing my stomach to warm and allow sleep to settle in.
"I believe I'm ready to turn in for the night, Regina." I spoke as I slowly started to remove my robe, the soft wool gliding across my skin. She simply nodded, coming behind me, bringing the goblet in her hand.
As I set the robe down, I watched as she went to the pillars, removing the knots of the ropes that held the heavy curtains back, allowing the balcony and chambers to be one. Yet, as the flowed down, leaving me in full privacy from the night sky and watchful eyes, I found myself wishing that for once I could sleep on the balcony, laying in a bed of pillows, just watching as Skyrin flew above head. He just seemed to dance and glide across the air, floating and falling at once.
It was beautiful.
I just wondered how much higher he would have to go to reach the stars.
________
I woke sometime in the night, the scream in my throat ripping into the night air. My body was covered in sweat, and I found myself shaking.
Blood, blood was everywhere, flowing on the bed, off my hands, clotted and dark. Tears ran down my cheeks, dripping in large droplets that reminded me of rain. My body shook, and for a few moments, I was in between sleep and being awake, a strange reality that made me grasp onto the duvet with my life.
The curtains flowed as a dark figure ran into the room, blending in with the pitch blackness. My eyes still were adjusting to the pitch black, barley able to see the outline of my hands and the curtain. The fire seemed to have burned out, the only light coming from the coals that still burned a soft red, reminding me of blood. A chill ran down my spine as the nightmare rushed back into my mind's eye, causing me to shudder and wish to turn away.
For a moment, the world was quiet, the nightmare was gone, and my hands were no longer covered in blood. No, there was nothing but peace and quiet.
The violet eyes were in front of the bed, Skyrin watching and looking over me in concerned gaze. I instantly held the covers over my naked body, the chill of the air flowing in behind him as the curtain flowed in the large gust of wind that followed him.
"Are you injured?" He asked, his voice quiet and calm. I knew what he was doing, it was the same thing that he had done night after night, soothing me from my nightmares that woke me. Regina had learned it from him, now knowing how to bring me back into the reality of the world. Shaking my head, he nodded his, closing his eyes for a moment. "Did you have the nightmare again, Princess?" He asked, going to stand to the side of my bed, the thin curtain between us, shielding me from the things that flew in the night. Including him.
Sitting up in the bed, I used one hand to hold the sheets to my chest, while the other helped push me back into a sitting position. My shoulders and spine hit the headboard and pillows, yet with the warmth of them, I still felt cold. I nodded my head, looking up at him as he placed a hand of the canopy, moving it to the side.
All the air seemed to leave me as he moved the canopy completely, his eyes glowing, causing a soft light on the bed. I found the feeling of the warmth start to grow, and a longing for him that started to sink into my very bones. He stood there, watching me as he slowly tilted his head to the side, eyes turning a darker shade of violet.
My pulse started to race, my head slightly fuzzy from the left over wine in my stomach, but the rest from his gaze, the spell that he cast.
Time seemed to slow down as he took another step forward, his shoulder keeping the canopy back, allowing him to see me as I now saw him. Large eyes seemed to look into my very soul, stilling me, yet causing me to wish to move forward. The pull towards him was stronger now, stronger than it had been since our reunion. And each moment that I spent with him, the more I started to realize how strong the bond was becoming.
My breath was shaking, shallow, and I felt like I was going to faint. But, the he reached out for me, seeming to forget everything but this moment, just as I had. There he stood, dressed in his armor, his weapon on his hip, and the darkening gaze in his eye. It was a spell that I never wished to break. His head came out, slowly moving towards me. The air was still, time stopped, and my pulse quickened to where I couldn't distinguish when it started and stopped.
The heat of his palm caused my fear of the dream to vanish in an instant, blown away by the strongest gust of wind. The pads of his fingertips caressed the skin of my cheek, and I found myself melting into the welcomed warmth. I didn't feel cold, just protected. I didn't feel afraid or alone any more.
Closing my eyes, I lay my head in his palm, feeling the callouses on his palms and fingers, feeling the hours of work and blood that he had put into his life. And I found comfort knowing how strong he was. He was determined, strong, a wall that could never be torn down.
I didn't realize that he had moved forward, his lips coming to press softly against my forehead. My eyes opened for a brief moment, only to flutter back closed. I felt comfort and peace and he stood there, kissing me. And I found my hand coming up to place on top of his. My fingers slowly dipped between the openings of his own, and he slowly folded them closed together. They were small and weak compared to his own, but with us together, we were both strong, holding the other up.
My lips pressed against the bottom of his palm, and I felt him move his lips from my forehead slowly. His lashes moved against the skin he had just kissed as he closed his eyes, the bridge of his nose leaned against me. And I kissed his palm once more, he let out a soft sigh, seeming to be as content with the moment as I was.
But, all things could not last for eternity.
"Naomi," He whispered as he slowly moved his head away, causing me to look up at his violet eyes once more. And for the first time in several cycles, I watched as the corners of his lips curled up ever so slightly into a comforting smile. "Sleep now, sweet Naomi."
My body seemed to move into the sleeping position at his words, his body slowly moving away from my side of the bed, heading towards the balcony. Either it was the spell that he cast on me, or the knowing that he was there to prevent the nightmare from returning, I allowed myself to sink into the warmth of the covers.
The few moments before I slowly started to allow sleep to take me under once again, I found my ears perking up at a simple request from the voice that I would always remember the sound of.
"And dream of me," He whispered, only to leave in a moment, the wind coming after he had flown off.
Smiling, I closed my eyes once again, feeling the soft breeze wash over me, helping lull me into a comforting, dreamless sleep.
______
I felt the water as it rolled down my body, the heat of the droplets leaving cool trails on my legs. Regina had stepped out, allowing me to dress myself that morning, leaving me with the steam of the tub and my wondering thoughts. I could feel Skyrin standing on the balcony, his close presence causing my heart to skip a beat. How I had tossed and turned all night, wishing that he would return and sit with me, lay with me. It didn't matter to me if all we did was look at each other, a smile on my face. I simply wished to spend time with him, in private.
But, that just wouldn't be for a few hours at least. Not with my day filled with each moment.
My hair lay on the top of my head, keeping it from becoming soaked with oils and soapy water. Now, as I removed my body from the tub, placing my rob over my shoulders, I allowed the strands to fall down my back, tumbling in soft curls and waves.
Regina stood by the fireplace, my brush in her hand, the fire going. Skyrin still stood on the balcony, his back towards us, hands placed in the bend of his back, stance wide and powerful. He hadn't even given me a single glance this morning. It was worrisome, to say the least.
"You seem to have slept well," Regina said as she handed me my brush. I nodded with a small smile, running the thick bristles through the strands of my hair, loosening the curls into soft waves, only to have them return. "Did you wish to take a stroll after you have had your morning tea?" She asked, looking in the corner of her eyes to look at Skyrin. My lips curled up in a secret smile, knowing fully well that she wished for me to have alone time with him, almost as much as I wished for it.
You're to be married in two weeks time! Stop this foolish thinking this instant, Naomi!
And with that one thought, I felt the smile drop as the ring on my finger came back to my attention. Taking a breath, I placed the brush down on my lap, folding my hands together. Shaking my head, I looked into the flames of the fire, the realization finally slipping back into my mind. Yes, that was right. I was to be married, to Lord Vedil, not Skyrin. He was just my protector, a bodyguard until my betrothed decided that it was best for him not to be my shadow.
Regina's eyes went wide for a moment, only to blink them as she tried to realize the thoughts that were rushing through my head.
"Are you sure, Naomi?" She asked, looking from Skyrin to me. "I'm sure the fresh air will be quite good for you, yes?" Her eyes were giving me a screaming look, practically demanding me to spend a few moments alone with him. But, I simply shut her down, shaking my head no once again.
Looking out off the balcony, I could see that the day was cloudy, filled with a thick fog that reminded me of smoke. The sun was not shining, and the day felt almost... gray in color. It was a little sickening to watch, making my stomach ill at the realization that my mood was turning into that very thing: grey. The fire that had once been in my heart for Skyrin -though it still burned in the ambers- had now simply turned into gray smoke, billowing into the air, only to drift away.
And it was how it would continue to be, if I was to save my people.
"Then, perhaps you would just like to sit and wat-" Regina started. I shook my head at her, giving her a knowing look, shutting down her thoughts. "Right, as you wish." She whispered. "Shall we get you dressed for the day?"
Nodding slowly, I stood up, seeing Skyrin in the corner of my eyes as she looked over at his shoulder. I was met with a violet gaze, heated and warm, sending a chill down my spine. Turning my back towards him, I allowed Regina to pull the knot of the curtains, leaving us alone, allowing me to dress.
_______
Regina had left for a few hours, having to rush to the market to fetch something for Mother. She seemed to be rushing around twice as quickly these past few days. However, she seemed to have gotten her previous wish: leaving me on a stroll with Skyrin.
He walked behind me, eyes watching all around us as we moved through the halls of the castle. I had finished breakfast in my chambers, allowing him to relax as the curtain was still fallen to shield us. He had sat, eating a few pieces of bread and smothering them in jam. Regina had left us to bring the dirty sheets to the heating pools where things were cleaned. I had never been there, but whenever she returned, she always smelt of honey and sweet spices.
Now, as I turned to move back into the chambers, no guards in the hallways, I felt a hand stop my movements.
My footsteps stopped, and I looked over my shoulder at Skyrin, seeing his eyes glisten in the dusky light that seeped through the windows.
"I must speak with you," He said in a low voice. It was the first thing that he had ever truly spoke to me that wasn't so formal. Skyrin had barley even lifted his voice at me when the possibility of being heard was there. Even if it was a simple smile. He was just so private and knowing. But, it had always been like that. "Privately."
He gazed as the door of my chambers for a moment, then back at me, raising a brow. I looked to see that they were closed, and the guardsman had left it.
"What is it that you wish to speak to me about?" I asked, placing my hands in front of me, keeping my face blank from any expression. His eyes darkened at my words, and in a moment, he was close against me, a mere breath keeping us apart.
"Of why you have believed that it would be acceptable to distance yourself from me." He growled out, only to wrap around me as bring us into the chambers. I felt a gasp leave me as he closed the door, locking it behind him.
My heart was in my throat, the shaking in my hands becoming prominent, and the heat growing over my skin turning into like that of a flame.
And then the air changed, filled with anger and lust.
I noticed that it was as much mine as his.
That terrified me to the core. He terrified me, yet I still loved him.