......A few days have passed since we went to the orphanage..
All i can think about is my mothers letters and the fact the Mina and i almost share the same past. How could i been so selfish and inconsiderate i never asked for his past or never knew what he really feels , he's been alone same as me and she treated me special...
Few letters from my mom lingers into me......Even if i'm fat away , i'm always thinking about you....? I love you.....? What does she meant by that , there's a lot of questions still unanswered...
(....she loved me ?)
How can she say that when she left me at an orphanage ? how can she loved me is she abandoned me ?
(If you love me... then don't throw me away...Come back to me !!)
I think of the anger and sadness i felt towards my mother. I don't feel it anymore...
And i keep remembering everything..
(.....I worked so hard so that i could meet my mother...)
(But......what will happen after i meet her...?)
....I don't understand anything anymore...Eve the thought of meeting my mother has become terrifying...
(What should i do....?)
(.......Mina....)
(How did you get over this , missing your parent , how can i be strong as you ?)
While i'm full of anxiety , Mina's face comes to mind...
( I want you to be by my side....)
(....But i...lately , i might have been cold towards him....after all that we've been through i know more about him now , how we share the same past....)
(I've hurt him so many times now , physically and mentally....i'm not gonna be surprised if he left me one day.....)
(He.....N-No....) the thought of loosing him scares me , i won't let that happen , i'm not gonna let it happen again..
But....wanting him by my side now seems so selfish of me...after all that i've done to him....all the pain and the hardships all those sufferings...
(......W-why am i so selfish even after all the , i still want him at my side....)
.....I think gloomily..
"Ah ! Yomiko !'
"!! M-Mina !?"
"C-can you come to the living room later ? I want to talk to you ...i'm sorry y-you might be busy can you squeeze out a little bit of your time ? i will really appreciate it , i'll see you later ..."
"......!?" i just stood there silently even though i want to say to him to stay with me....
After that...When i go to the living room...
"Yomiko ?....A-are you angry for some reason ?"
"Huh ?"
"You've been really tense recently..."
"Ah......"
(......H-He's worried about me ?)
......I feel a but relieved at his usual kindness...and then, all of the thoughts i've been harboring in my chest overflow...
"......Hey , Mina ..."
"Is...it really okay for me to meet my mother ?"
......When is say that , Mina tries his hardest to encourage me.
(.....I guess..when i'm with Mina , i can calm down...)
I want to depend on him more and gently take his hand...
"Mina....Please..."
".....Stay ...by my side."
(.......... ........If i'm with Mina...)
( I should be fine when i meet my mother , right ?)