Chapter seventy.
(AN – PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT)
Song for this chapter - the scientist by coldplay ( I link it to Emma and Harry's relationship later on in the chapter)
EMMA’S POV:
‘’Harry where are we?’’ I say a small giggle slipping from my lips.
I’m not mad at Harry because when I think about it he didn’t intend to hurt me it was just a massive misunderstanding. But I am still concerned about our future as I find it hard to believe Harry really wants to marry me it just seems so out of character.
‘’You’ll see in a minute love’’ he whispers into my ear my heart fluttering at his choice of words.
His large hands are covering my eyes he leads me to wherever this secret location may be. His body is pressed closely behind mine as he urges me to carry on walking.
‘’we’re here’’ he murmurs stopping us still but still yet to uncover my eyes.
‘’Wait just a second...keep your eyes shut’’ he says letting go of me and walking somewhere.
His feet crunch over what I’m presuming to be leaves as I hear him strike a match well at least that’s what I think he did.
‘’Open them’’ he says loudly.
My eyes open as a small gasp falls from my lips, looking around we appeared to be in the small abandoned woods not too far from our apartment.
In front of me there’s a fire and set just behind that a little white tepee tent filled with cushions and blankets.
‘’I planned on taking you here the other night after you’d hopefully said yes to me, I’d though we could spend the night here’’ he shrugged setting himself down inside the tent.
I followed and took a seat beside him.
‘’This is really lovely’’ I smile honestly.
‘’I knew you’d like it’’ his smile proud and wide.
Silence falls between us for a minute or so as we watch the crackling fire.
‘’I’m not asking you to say anything and I’m not expecting anything in return but well I have something for you’’ Harry mumbled.
‘’What?’’ I ask offering him a small reassuring smile.
‘’Well I’d planned on giving you these that night too and I still want you to have them’’ He says fumbling around behind the cushions.
First he pulls out a packet of what looks to be over 50 envelopes.
‘’I started writing these when we stopped seeing each other, when I realised I loved you but didn’t think you felt the same way, when I knew someday we had to be together’’ he said handing me the envelopes.
The first one said ‘’read now’’ which I set aside to look through the others.
The second one said ‘’ for when you’re feeling sad’’ the one after that said ‘’for when you need a laugh’’. Flicking through I read many more some of which being:
o For when you’re feeling lonely.
o For when we fight and it’s my fault
o For when we fight and it’s your fault (but it’s really my fault)
o For when you’re sick
o For when you need to know how much I love you
o For when you’re stressed
o For the night before our wedding
o For when you want to escape the world
o For when you’re feeling worried
o For whenever I’m not around
o For when you have something to tell me and don’t know how to say it
o For when I mess up
o For when sorry just isn’t enough
o For our anniversary
The list went on and on each letter relating to some possible time in my life.
‘’Harry?’’ I asked raising and eyebrow at him whilst showing him my massive smile.
‘’Just read the first one’’ he says simply showing me an equally massive smile.
Nodding I reach for the first envelope.
Emma,
The whole point of these letters is because well although I haven’t quite got round to telling you yet (maybe I have by the time you’re reading this) but well I love you.
Like not in a friend way, not in a family way. In a love of my life kind of way.
I hope by now you know this and maybe we’re together? Although I never said I wanted a relationship I guess maybe me and you could make it work.
Actually I don’t even know if you feel the same way about me, you probably don’t but I really hope you do.
I don’t know how many of these letters I’ll write or if you’ll ever even see this one but I’m going to stop now and leave the rest blank to write on the day I decide to give it to you…..
Emma,
What I wrote a few months ago is just how I feel right now well more than I did then a lot more!
The whole point of these letters is because clearly I’m no good with words I tried to propose the other day and look where that got me haha.
I’ve written these for lots of different times in your life and you can read them all more than once such as the one for when we argue and its my fault and the one for when I mess up because I can guarantee that’s going to happen a lot more than once. And for that I’m sorry but I’ve just got to hope you can deal with me and all my shit because without you nothing seems right.
A few months ago when I wrote that I loved you like the love of my life I don’t think I fully realised what I was saying but I do now. I love you more than I thought to be humanly possible, you and your love it consumes me. It makes me who I am, it makes me a better person, the person I wish I’d being all along. I love you like a soul mate.
I love you like a husband loves a wife.
Be my wife?
Forever and always no matter what you say I’m yours, Harry xxxxxxx
Blinking a couple of times as a tear or two slip from my eye I look up at Harry to see his face full of doubt and worry.
‘’That was beautiful’’ I smile wiping away the couple of tears that had fallen.
He smiles weakly still not speaking.
I don’t say anything either because I’m not sure what to say.
‘’Can I have a little while to think?’’ I ask nervously.
‘’Of course’’ he nods slipping a little closer to me as we both look up at the sky.
‘’ there’s more letters too but I’m keeping those because they’re for things that might not ever happen and if they do well I’ll give you them then’’ he mutters softly.
‘’this is honestly the sweetest most romantic thing ever’’ I thank him.
‘’ well I’m no good with speaking so I assumed this was better…oh I’ve got something else too’’ he says turning to grab something else from behind the pillows.
‘’Here’’ he mutters passing me an iPod.
I raise an eyebrow prompting Harry to explain.
‘’it’s an old one of mine, I cleared everything off it and made some playlists for you. I know you already have an iPod but these are sort of like the letters but with music because I’m sure the lyrics are better than my words too’’ he says.
‘’Look at the first one’’ he says
I click on the playlist revealing a list of three playlists; I love you, sad and happy.
Clicking on the I love you playlist the first track began to play into my ears.
The scientist – cold play, I look up at Harry smiling because he knows I love this song and also because the lyrics sort of fit ‘’ nobody said it was easy, nobody said it would be this hard’’ because Harry and I went into this relationship knowing it wouldn’t be easy at all. And when it says ‘’take me back to the start’’ I think about how maybe this marriage would be going back to the start, that’s where our relationship started with a fake marriage, maybe the perfect way for us to be together is to go back to the start and do it all again for real.
I scrolled through to see some of the other songs Harry had put into this playlist:
o 1,2,3,4 – plain white T’s
o Closing time – semisonic
o Torn – Natalie Imbruglia
o Wherever you will go – the calling
o Stay – hurts
o Never say never – the fray
o Come to me – the goo goo dolls
o You make it real – James Morrison
o First day of my life – bright eyes
o Crack the shutters – snow patrol
o Deathbeds – bring me the horizon
o Parachute – Charlie Simpson
o Eskimo kiss – the kooks
o Flaws – bastille
o Heart of gold – bridy
o Love love love – of monsters and men
o Love steals us from loneliness – idlewild
o Miserable at best – mayday parade
o My kind of love – Emeli sande
o Asleep – the smiths
‘’there’s a lot of very different stuff on this’’ I smile at Harry.
‘’I know well I wanted the cheesy shit as well as the stuff I know you really like’’ he nodded.
‘’Thank you it’s perfect…mind if we cuddle?’’ I ask.
‘’Not at all’’ he smiles pulling me closer to him and wrapping his arms around me as I rest my head on his chest listening to the music. I offer him an earphone and we continue to listen to Harry’s playlist together.
While doing this my head is in a whirlwind trying to think about what to do.
Then I realise maybe I’m over thinking this maybe it’s not that much of a decision to make because deep down I already know the answer and I’m just afraid to admit it.
If Harry didn’t want to marry me he wouldn’t have put so much effort into telling me otherwise, he wouldn’t have done the most romantic things imaginable and he wouldn’t still be here. If he didn’t want it as much as he says he does he’d have given up and left me like everyone else.
But Harry isn’t everyone else, he’s perfect and he’s mine.
I pause the music and pull away from him letting the earphone fall from his ear.
‘’I’ve made my mind up’’ I say quietly.
His eyes widen a little as he motions for me to continue.
‘’There’s something about you Harry Styles that intoxicated me, you were right our love is consuming and without it it’s like nothing matters. I want to do this with you, I want to start again, I want to have the perfect life with you. I love you like a wife loves a husband’’ I say my voice a little shaky here and there due to nerves.
‘’Really?’’ he says so quite it’s barely audible.
I nod silently.
Harry stays quite a couple of seconds too his eyes burning into me.
‘’I love you so fucking much’’ he mutters pulling me towards him allowing my lips to collide with his.
‘’ I love you more than you’d ever imagine’’ I giggle against his moving lips.
‘’So you’re really going to be Mrs Styles?’’ he asks in-between our many kisses.
‘’Yeah I really am’’ I mutter back pushing my lips to his.
*** sorry notes long read it pls ***
Authors note ----- thank you all so much for reading, I love you all.
What did you think?
OMG she said yes?
Was it predictable? I hope not.
Opinions?
Predictions?
I know there was quite a long list of songs in this chapter and I’m assuming you probably didn’t read them all it wasn’t too important check them out if you want to though some of them are really good, others are a little cheesy haha.
Please can I get 45+votes and 20+ comments on this chapter:)
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