23-Healing
"Xepher, Xepher, wake up." Xepher heard the angelic voice whisper.
"No." He mumbled and then tucked his head deeper into his pillow. Xepher suddenly tensed at the gasp he heard. Then he realized that this was not the pillow he had originally been sleeping on. Not by a long shot.
"X-Xepher that's not a p-" He shot up instantly.
"Yup, yeah, I uh, just realized that. M-my bad." He stuttered as he stood out of bed faster than he ever had before.
"It's 7:13." She muttered and Xepher cursed, grabbing his bag. He was going to be late to school. He yanked off his tank top without thinking but froze when he heard Aria's squeal. He turned and saw she was covering her eyes.
"Crap, so sorry." He said.
"J-just change!" She whisper/yelled and Xepher chuckled to himself. Suddenly he felt like teasing her, and decided to walk up to her, grasp her wrist gently and pulled it way from her face, pressing it to his chest. Her eyes snapped open as her cheeks reddened.
"X-Xepher." She visibly gulped.
"What's wrong Baby Girl?" He asked, faking innocence. He watched her eyes as he saw the look in them change from embarrassment to desire. God, he loved that look from her. He felt her hand on his chest move and her nails scraped gently against his skin as she looked down at his torso. Her eyes slowly made their way back up to his.
"You're going to be late for school." She rasped out, her voice an octave lower. He leaned into her then.
"Screw it." He said as he kissed her. She responded immediately. He'd never get tired of this feeling. Nothing could beat it. He felt her other hand in his hair, gripping it tightly and he groaned.
Suddenly the sound of his phone going off pulled them apart, their breaths uneven.
"Yeah?" He answered irritated.
"We're outside, let's go, we're going to be late." Jax said.
"Yeah, I'm coming." He said before hanging up and kissing Aria one last time.
"Sorry Baby Girl, we'll have to finish this later." She nodded then, her teeth gripping her bottom lip and in that moment Xepher could've killed Jax for interrupting them. He quickly changed and said his good-byes to Aria, before leaving.
Raven sat at their usual table, bummed that Aria wasn't with them, where she should be. She looked around, seeing Cassidy sitting with her friends at a table a few yards away. She caught her eye but when she did Cassidy quickly turned her head away, fear evident in her eyes. Raven smiled as she thought back to just a week prior, to how Aria had been kicking ass, putting Cassidy in her place, fighting Karen, but now she was in the hospital. Her fists clenched at just the thought of what her stepfather had done to her. Disgusting pig, she thought to herself.
"Hey Raven." Kenzy's voice filled the air as she slid in next to Raven. She had three slices of pizza on her lunch tray and Raven chuckled to herself. Where did this lanky girl even put all that food?
"Hey Kenzy." She replied, only to stare off into space again.
"Thinking about Aria?" Kenzy asked as she ate her pizza in large bites.
"That obvious huh?" She asked.
"Yeah, but I mean, only because it's been on all of our minds." Jax answered out of nowhere, sitting on Raven's other side as Kenzy already finished with one slice. Good grief woman, chew!
"You worried too?" Raven asked him.
"Yeah, I mean, I think we all have been through something in our lives to one degree or another, but Aria, she got the worst of it." His face was sad, and Raven wanted to comfort him somehow, but she held back. She had her own demons, but Jax was right, Aria had it so much worse. At least her demon was dead.
"I agree." They all turned to see Marco come to the table.
"Hi Marco!" Kenzy said happily, cheering up at his appearance. It was obvious that she'd like him from the moment they met and vice versa, but they were both quite oblivious. Marco smiled as he leaned down and whispered "Can I talk with you? In private?" Kenzy's eyes widened in pure curiosity as she nodded, shoveling the last piece of pizza into her mouth. She wiped her hands and held out one to Marco who gladly took it, helping her out of the bench seat. Together they walked out of the cafeteria, staying in sight through the glass windows of the room.
"What's going on?" Raven turned to Xepher standing with a lunch tray in his hands as he looked over to the two people in question with a knowing smile on his face.
"Marco pulled Kenzy out to 'talk'." Jax said with air quotes. Xepher chuckled before he sat down and watch them through the glass.
"Nice." He said. Wait, did he know what was happening?
"Yeah." Jax grumbled, irritated. They both seemed to know what was happening.
"What are you talking about?" Raven asked. Jax's head shot towards her and he spoke quickly.
"Nothing." He said, his voice a few octaves higher than normal. Raven raised an eyebrow, her suspicions raised. She turned back to the two outside and her jaw dropped instantly. She watched as Kenzy smiled, her squeal echoing through the cafeteria, even as they were outside. Then she jumped up, wrapped her legs around Marco's waist, and kissed him. Raven fell backwards in shock.
"What the hell? Wh-what the- I mean I know they liked each other, but like-huh?" She stammered out.
"It's called a kiss Raven." Jax said sarcastically and Raven turned to glare at him.
"I know what it is Jax, it just surprised me is all." Jax rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, because Marco and Kenzy ending up together was a total surprise." Okay, now he was just getting annoying.
"What crawled up your ass and died Jax?" She sneered at him. His jaw clenched and he turned his head away, resting his elbows on the table, gripping his hands together.
"Nothing."
"Really? Well it sure seemed like something. What the hell?" Raven pushed.
"Don't worry about it Raven." Xepher said with a smirk, "He's just upset because Marco was brave enough to ask the girl he like out and he isn't." Raven froze. Jax liked another girl? She felt a sudden pain in her chest, realizing that she really didn't like the idea of him liking someone else, then confessing. If he got together with another girl, Raven truly thought she wouldn't be able to stomach the sight.
"Shut it, Xepher." Jax replied as he tucked his head into his arms on the table, his food abandoned. Just then, Kenzy came barreling into the cafeteria again with Marco in tow.
"Guys! We're boyfriend and girlfriend now!" She squealed excitedly. Raven smiled.
"Congrats guys!" Raven said, genuinely happy for them.
"Yes, very happy for you." Jax grumbled before resting his head in his arms again.
"Wake me up when the bell rings." Jax mumbled. Raven looked over to him, his ginger hair having been getting unruly lately, his closed eyes keeping her from seeing the grey irises. Without thinking, Raven moved her hand, and rested it on his leg that was closest to hers. His eyes opened instantly, and he looked at her in shock. To be fair, she was shocked too. She really didn't like men touching her or vice versa, but with Jax, it hadn't been that way, ever. But she'd kept her distance, making sure she didn't get too close. Her demon may be dead, but it haunted her every day.
They looked at each other for a few more moments, before Jax winked at her, then closed his eyes once more. Then his leg moved, coming flush against hers and they stayed like that for the rest of the lunch period, Raven wondering if she could defeat her demon once and for all for the guy she cared for.
That night, Raven couldn't sleep for the life of her, her mind awake and thinking. She thought about the man that caused her this pain, how he had stayed with her even after these years. She thought of Jax, and what she wanted from him. She didn't want him to be with someone else, but she didn't know if she could be the kind of girl he needed. Or even wanted. Her heart clenched painfully as she remembered all the memories she had with him beside her. He was an absolute dork, and a downright idiot at times, but he made her laugh. He made her feel butterflies when they walked too close together, and he always sat right beside her, every time they were together.
Raven sighed as she looked at the clock. 4:37 in the morning. Mumbling to herself she looked at her phone, the one that had been in her hand for the last three hours. Every time she would type in his number, trying to get the gump to talk to him, she'd delete it. Something kept her from pressing that call button. Raven shook her head as tears formed in her eyes. She didn't know what to do. In a moment of uncertainty, Raven unlocked her phone and hit a contact she knew would ease her worries. It rang three times, and Raven nearly hung up, of course she'd be asleep. Then the line connected.
"Hello?" Aria's tired voice came through the speaker. Raven smiled in relief.
"Hey." Was all she could say.
"Raven? Is everything okay?" She asked, worried.
"Yeah, sorry, I know you were sleeping I just..." Raven trailed off, unsure of what to say.
"It's okay, take your time." Aria's, now clear, voice punctured through Raven's barrier and she felt herself crumble.
"It's Jax. I-I like him, and I heard he liked someone, and now I'm freaking out. I don't know what to do Aria. I just know that I don't want to lose him, but I'm worried he'll reject me, or that I'm no good."
"Why would you ever think you are no good?" She asked, her voice soothing Raven's nerves.
"Be-because Aria, I-I killed someone." She said. There was silence for a moment.
"Keep talking Raven." She said simply, and so Raven did.
"My father, he was a drunk and abusive bastard. He'd beat my mom and me. He'd come home and scream and yell and just hit us until he got tired. W-we tried to run away, but he found us, and it continued. There was no way out. One day, he was beating me in the kitchen when Mom came home from work. She tried to stop him, but he smashed a liquor bottle over her head and knocked her down. He kept hitting her, over and over. I thought he was going to kill her. I grabbed a knife from the drawer and I-I stabbed him. I didn't mean to kill him, but I punctured his heart. He died. I-killed him Aria. I was fourteen and I killed a man. I'm a monster. How can I expect happiness and love? Is it even fair?" Raven had let it all tumble out. She hadn't told anyone her story before. Not like this. Saying it, she choked out her own tears.
"Raven." Aria's calm voice reached her ears. "You are one of the kindest souls I have ever met on this planet. That man deserved what happened. Was it fair that you had to do it? Of course not, but it was choice that needed to be made. You protected your mom, and yourself. You are not a monster and you could never be. You have five people that love and adore you to no end. Jax is one of them. He cares about you, hell I think he might love you with all the puppy dog looks I see him giving you. You're beautiful, inside and out, but you cover it up with all the black because you think that's who you are. You think that there is no good in you, but you couldn't be more wrong. There is more good in you than the rest of us combined. I sit and look at the ring you gave me and think about how kind you were to give it to me, a stranger. You are someone that deserves all the good that could come your way. Jax is the start of that, but it won't begin unless you set it in motion. Don't let your father control who you are. Don't hide behind that mase. Don't be somebody else because the Raven that I know is the best kind of person there is. So be happy, take action, and start a new beginning for yourself. Its time to leave your father in the past. Its time to heal." Her last sentence was merely a whisper but it had a fresh wave of tears streaking down her cheeks and her heart hurt, in a good way. She shut her eyes tightly and whispered.
"Thank you."
"What are sisters for?" Aria chuckled and Raven followed, her heart warm in her chest.
"Okay, I'm starting fresh, and you are going back to sleep." Raven said.
"Sounds like a plan." Aria said sleepily.
"Goodnight Aria."
"Night-night." She yawned and hung up as Raven smiled. Raven stood then. A new beginning, healing. It all started now. She looked at the makeup on her dresser. Aria was right. She did hide behind it. Some people liked Goth style because that was who they were, and that was okay, but it wasn't who Raven was. She grabbed the trash bin next to her desk and swiped every piece of makeup into the bin, the plastic hitting the tin with a smack.
After every piece was gone, she looked at her phone and took a deep breath. Typing in the number she'd remembered by heart ages ago, she finally hit that call button. As it rang, Raven felt butterflies in her stomach. She chewed her thumb nervously. She nearly gave up, when that familiar voice grumbled into the speaker.
"Raven?" Her heart thudded at the thickness of his sleepy voice as he said her name.
"I'm sorry to wake you Jax, but I need you to come here. Now." She said.
"Are you okay?" He asked, worry laced in his voice.
"Better than you can imagine. Can you come?" She asked.
"Uh, yeah, just give me like ten minutes?"
"Perfect." She smiled, "I'll see you in ten."
"Okay, see you." They hung up and Raven walked to her closed. She grabbed an old pair of blue jeans and a long sleeve maroon shirt. She put on her leather jacket, then winter boots. She ran to the bathroom and made herself presentable. No makeup, and it felt so damn good. She smiled to herself and ran out of the room, grabbing her keys. Her mother was at the hospital right now, so she was the only one home. She stepped outside and locked the door, shivering even in her jacket as her boots crunched into the thin layer of snow on the ground.
The sound of that familiar engine turning the corner caught her attention and she turned as he honked. The engine was cut and his door opened, getting out of the truck. He wore straight leg black jeans, and a red and black flannel. His ginger locks had flakes of snow and Raven knew this was the best choice she could have made. Thank you Aria.
He was walking to her, but she started jogging to him. When he was closed enough, she jumped and his eyes widened as he caught her. She wrapped her legs around his torso and he grabbed her legs as he stabilized them.
"Whoa there, you okay Raven?" He asked once more. Raven pulled back and looked him in the eyes. It was still dark, the streetlights their only light.
"You're not wearing any makeup. You look beautiful." He said, and Raven's heart swelled. She looked at him, her stomach flipping as she took a breath to speak.
"I don't want you to be with anyone else. I know I'm a pain in the butt, but I-I like you Jax. I always have. I want to be with you. Properly." She spit out and his eyes widened in shock his hands gripping her thighs tightly. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to, because he leaned in and kissed her hard. Raven was surprised, but so happy. They stayed like that for quite some time, until the need to breathe became too much and they had to separate. Raven felt a fire in her cheeks as she looked at Jax's smiling face.
"About damn time woman. Will you be my girlfriend?" He asked bluntly. Raven nodded and they chuckled, then made their way inside to warm up until it was time to pick everyone else up. Raven made them hot chocolate and they sat on the couch, cuddled together, sharing a kiss, and starting anew.