Chapter 33
"Tell me something," he said gently from where he was sitting behind me on the couch, his legs stretched out and under mine. But that's all I could see of him. Because I was leaning forward from where I was sitting in front of him for a sweet reason I couldn't help but chuckle at.
"Sure," I said, smiling and waiting as I looked down at my lap, unable to see him from behind me. However, I felt him. His hands played in my hair, running his fingers through it, over and over... his fingers such a sensation against my head softly and brushing my neck as he played with it.
"What... happened? Yesterday with Clare," he asked, hesitantly and I understood why. It's not like the subject is pleasant like the previous topics we were casually talking about had been (like how we still couldn't believe we were together and food in general, of course. It led to an argument over which type of cheese was the best tasting but it didn't last unfortunately; it was fun fighting over silly things with him). No, this was something he needed to know and I knew he was dying to find answers. Just scared to ask me for them since it was a rough experience for me. I seriously didn't mind though. After all, it was only yesterday; it was still fresh in my mind.
Sighing, I let his hands soothe me as the tingles ran over me from him playing with my hair softly. It felt amazing to say the least for some reason. Still close behind me though, I could hear him groan slightly in my ear at the topic too he forced himself to bring up. But it needed to be.
"Well," I said, recalling everything from the start. "I was in school, it was nearing the end of the day. Then my teacher got a call to have me go down to the office. And... Clare was there. To pick me up for a doctor's appointment. Which I knew was complete BS. But... I don't know, I felt I needed to go with her out the door. Once we were outside though, I had planned on running from her. I had a sour feeling that I knew where she was taking me and I did not want to be a part of it. I knew it, strangely, that she would take me there. But before I could do anything, she pulled a gun on me. I was trying to be smart about this so--"
His fingers running through my hair froze and I knew at what. It was what I hadn't told him yet that I knew would have gotten his clear attention. I knew it was right for him to know now though. I could only guess his reaction wouldn't be welcoming of the idea. I was right. "Clare had a gun?" he asked in a quick but lower voice.
Sighing, I realized this would be something he can't just brush aside. This was big. A gun was not a knife like she use to have. Turning my body slightly around to look at him from behind me, I was close enough to his face to see the nervousness and anger of what I just told him.
Taking a deep breath, I meet those beautiful and scared eyes and found that it would be important if I told him of my theory about Clare. One I completely forgot about until this moment considering all that has happened since he saved me from that place. I didn't know if he would agree with it or not, but it was worth telling him.
"Yes. She had a gun - probably because you took the knife she uses. The interesting thing about this... is where the hell did she get it? I didn't think about that at the moment but later that day... stuff started to happen. And I realized that Clare might have connections," I said, having a hard time explaining things properly. I wasn't afraid to tell him. I just feared telling him too much. The last thing he needs is to be pissed off right before Clare gets home - a very real thing that was approaching within only a few more hours.
"How do you mean?" he asked, his eyebrows lowering in confusion. His hands no longer occupied in my hair, his full concentration was on me. I felt his hands move down and forward, grasping my hips and pulling me back more into his lap, turning me to rest against his thigh and the back of the couch so I was now facing him better. Head still slightly turned to look into his eyes from where I was sitting in his lap, his arms stayed wrapped around me, one coming to grasp my hand.
It was time to fill him in. "She put me in the worst possible place. She specifically choose that place for me because she must have known the type of things they would do to me. It couldn't have been random. Especially if there was already suspicion about that place, why would you take your daughter there? Why not any other place? Because she knew what they would do. And I think she knows that doctor. Mark's uncle. I think they were working together."
Luke looked down from my eyes and I saw him purse his lips, closing his eyes for a moment. I was on his side though with that reaction. He was seeing that as a real possibility now and it honestly sucked to have so much evidence supporting that that was true. It means she has connections we aren't aware of. It means she is ahead of us.
That thought made my heart spin in distress and pain. What else could she do to me? What other people are tied in to this? What else did she know? Did she know Luke is now on my side? I wouldn't be surprised, honestly, after that cold hateful stare Luke gave her. Now that he hit her... things are crumbling. Things are breaking apart and I could feel this wasn't going to be good.
After I heard him take a deep breath, he finally looked back up and to the side at me. Head tilting towards mine, eyes searching, I rose a hand and delicately ran my fingers up to his cheek, rubbing my thumb across the smooth plains of his skin. So beautiful... he didn't deserve any of this drama. I wished as if I could just take it all away from him.
"You're right. You must be right," he said, glancing away and becoming lost in his overcrowded thoughts at such an idea.
I nodded, recalling something that could only verify just how sure I was and how true it was. "Apparently, my therapist was in on it. She approved for me to go and I think that was Clare's excuse to put me in there."
His eyes shot back to mine and widened. "Your therapist? You're sure?" he asked, as if in hoping I would say I was only joking. Voice broke, I hated what I had to say next. I just wanted to tell him I was lying or something because I am so sick of him dealing with everything.
I bit my lip and nodded, denying him such a hope. "Yeah," I swallowed. "I think Clare paid her from the start."
Closing his eyes again, I watched his face and saw his eyebrows dip in frustration. I also felt his hand in mine tighten. All I could do was squeeze back; I couldn't make him feel better, especially when it was essential truth. It only made me question everyone else I knew. If she could have gotten the therapist on her side, that doctor... who else did she have? And was it anybody I knew? I wasn't sure. Who knows, maybe not. Those two people were the connection to the mental hospital. That, as far as I know, was her only goal. She might not have anyone else. But all it did was raise suspicion in me.
"Do you know what I would love?" he asked, his voice holding a tired humor and I felt myself slightly smile at him in curiosity and because he began to lightly chuckle. He was happy to take things off topic after something like that that bothered him.
He answered to my eyes. "Just to runaway with you. That would be so nice...." he said, eyes closed and smiling at the thought and it made my heart swell within me. But it also made me laugh to be honest at the same time; I couldn't help it.
Letting out a small amount of laughter, his eyes opened and met mine once more, eyes questioning and not sure how that was funny. Smiling sadly to me, I needed to respond to him. "That was the most... typical teenage thing I've ever heard you say." I paused. "I kind of liked it."
He chuckled slightly at my words, pursing his tilted lips a moment later. Sighing, he nodded slowly and said. "Most girls would say 'awe that's so sweet,'" he teased me.
I smiled down at him. "That really was very sweet," I admitted, leaning down more from my side in his lap and coming to cup his other cheek with my hand. Brushing my nose against his, I saw his eyes fill slightly with that humor and warmth I loved and the stress faded, even if it was only for a bit. "But I'm not like most girls. Will you be able to handle that, copper?"
His smile grew into a full grin, with his teeth showing brightly. I felt my chest flutter and I knew it would take a while to get use to this. Because right now, it was so intoxicating, even if I was joking about what he said. "I can handle that. It will just be hard to handle you."
I smiled and felt my heart swell. Because it was instinct to sometimes tease him about this stuff, it didn't mean I didn't love it. Moving back from where I was close to his face, coming to sit straighter up in his lap, I looked down at him and smirked. "Good. Because I was born a dominatrix in disguise. Nobody can handle me," I joked. But in all honesty, as I have said before, he was the only one I will listen to. He is the only one that could handle me - and I would let. And I felt such love over him for that.
A moment later, I dipped my head back down and leaned towards his ear as I slid my arms around his neck. Resting my head on his shoulder, I sighed and whispered against his ear, "I would love to runaway with you too." Twisting to rest my head on his shoulder slightly, I felt his hands turn me around until I was fully facing his body and resting against him. His arms wrapped around me in return and I knew that it was impossible to runaway with him at the moment, obviously. But that was okay. He was my home, really. And we would stay and finish this.
***
He went back to playing with my hair after that, the silence between us welcoming and not awkward. A first. Time to break out the wine to celebrate. In reality though, I think we were content to just sit there together, rest against each other, and to have him play with my hair. More so, I was positive his thoughts were the same as mine. That things will be changing the moment Clare got here. It would be different. All I could think about was the future possibilities. Either way, she was still coming home. Soon enough. We needed a game plan.
"You can't be nice to her when she gets home," I said, staring at the leather design in the couch as he continued to play with my hair.
"Why?" he asked. "We don't want her to be suspicious."
"Exactly," I said. "You hit her. You can be open and sorry about that. But you still need to show your anger at putting me in that hospital. If you were sucking up to her, it would look too obvious. She knows you wouldn't get over that so show her you didn't. Make it so she needs to be the one to apologize. I think it would be beneficial to us."
As he thought over my words, I knew that was the best route to go for stability, even if it wouldn't seem so. If Luke stops being himself and starts constantly saying sorry to her, it would look as if he is begging for her to remain loyal. We don't want that. The best we can do is show his true reactions. Because as much as it irritated me, she knew Luke inside and out for the most part. He had loved her, opened up to her, and she knows what makes him tick. She will know what would keep him pissed off and what wouldn't.
"So... you want me just to be myself? Show my true feelings about what she did to you?"
I nodded and it earned a scoff from him. "Albany, if I did that, showed her how I really felt, it would end with her being brutally tortured."
I rolled my eyes and smirked back before letting it leave my lips. "You know what I mean. Just show how angry it made you as if she was still the loyal wife you knew her to be."
You would think that would be much easier than sucking up to her like he did last time. But I could tell it wouldn't be. He struggled the whole time with trying to control that anger to the right degree for her. If he was going to get angry, he argued, he'd let it all out and we didn't want that. Just a good fraction of it. And he'd have to control that.
By the time six o'clock came around, we knew she'd be coming home soon. And despite some nervousness, we decided to make dinner. We were hungry by then, after all. And though it would be a very awkward dinner, we needed to be able to tell just where she sat with her relationship with Luke. I planned on heading up to bed early to give them time to themselves for Clare to really show Luke what she was feeling (which I had no clue of besides general anger). We were praying though at some point, weather at dinner or when I go to bed, that she will cave. That she will give in to Luke and apologize for what she did. Show that she is still somewhat loyal.
We made meatloaf. Yuck. I am not a picky eater guys; I was American. But I just never cared for that shit. Maybe because it reminded me of shit. I guess it was fitting; shit for the piece of shit to eat when she gets home. But we found out that would be a longer time than we figured. We sat, talked, and I managed to find a snack to hold me over (and to basically substitute for that pathetic excuse for a dinner). Her being gone... only led to more wandering thoughts on where she could be. Was she just avoiding coming home? That was our guess. That was the most likely. Or was she busy? Making deals with devils?
She came home at around 8:40. We heard her car pull up in the driveway and it was time to be ready. Our plan was to give her the silent treatment - more so Luke than me. I at least had the freedom to say whatever I want to her ugly ass face. He needs to show his disappointment, anger, and disgust with her at the moment. And that would be done by just not saying anything to her.
When she pulled in, we began to make our plates of food (which we needed to reheat). My heart beating faster than before, I was seriously a little paranoid with her. She put me in that place for me to die. I wasn't comfortable being around her now. I wasn't scared of her. I just knew I needed to be ready for anything with her. Luke knew that as well. Even though he changed his clothes and was wearing a simple grey tee-shirt and jeans, he knew better than to not have a gun on him. After all, we didn't know what to expect from her. We had no clue and that was something that put us on edge.
He planned on showing her anger through silence. But that would only happen if she came in here without that gun, without foul words and violence, and without intent on finishing me off right then and there. I mean, it was really possible. She failed. Luke got me out, saved me from her huge plan, and she would not be happy. She was crazy; so I would understand her need to come in and shoot me if she felt like there was no way she could stop me. Obviously, I knew she wasn't at that point. But it was still possible. Hell, she might even be hell-bent on shooting Luke too if she discovered he betrayed her....
My mind gave me enough reasons for Luke to have a gun even if we weren't expecting it. So he kept one tucked into the back hem of his jeans, his long shirt covering it. It reassured me, but at the same time, it left me anxious and tense. So when we heard the car door slam, and knew she was coming up to the house, it was hard to be casual and try to eat - and eat shit! I was just happy I was going up to bed early. Unfortunately for Luke, he would be talking with Clare for a while after.
By the time he and I were sitting down at the table, eating, we heard the door open and Clare come in. We said nothing, and the only noise that was in the air was that of our forks scrapping on the plates. I also found that the sound of even the clock ticking made it seem like one of the loudest noises in the room. Then came her footsteps. Her very gradual and heavy steps that neared the entrance of the kitchen.
Eating at the head of the table but away from the entrance, Luke sat next to me and I noticed us both left our heads, turning our eyes towards the approaching sound. Glancing to Luke, he kept his face blank, eyes holding the disappointment he needed to project as well as the anger. And eventually, she got it. It reached her the moment she stepped into view in the kitchen and her eyes landed on Luke's.
I took her in and tried to figure her out as best as I could. She looked nice, professional, beautiful like always. But her eyes... were skeptical. And filled with fury, a roaring fire that only wanted to grow when she walked into the kitchen and stopped in place. That was all I could get out of such a presence. It made my stomach turn and my breath hitch slightly. But I composed my face and just stared at her too. And neither one of us... knew where the first step was to be taken. Nobody was the first to say 'hi' or anything. No smiles, no nothing.
It was so... awkward. She just stood there, staring at Luke, then she eventually glanced to me. Her eyes... burned me. Wanting to send me to hell. And though I thrived in making awkward stations funny in my case, I was a little hesitant. But I still did it anyway.
I gave her a bright smile and set my fork down. In the next moment, among the stillness and pure silence in the room, I raised my hand to the sky and gave her the bird. It was honestly a sight that just would make you scoff because she didn't respond with anything besides glancing away as if my middle finger wasn't commanding her to go fuck off. Watching her, I eventually lowered my hand. I acted as if I shrugged off the tension and my unwelcomed bird, but really it only made me that much more anxious for time to pass.
No one word was said - not one - when she walked into the kitchen and walked towards the stove. Luke looked away from her as she had us and he continued to eat. Eyes down on his plate, his eyebrows furrowed as he chewed. And though I did the same, I continued glancing to him. I noticed he was just as tense as I was, if not more so. I knew Clare was uncomfortable too but I was worried about Luke. He determined if he could keep his 'relationship' with her alive. And that was incredibly important in our case. We needed her, the house, for evidence. And if she decided to split, she could take me with her and not Luke. I was her child, not Luke's. She owned me until I turn 18.
As Clare was at the stove, making herself a plate, Luke finally and discreetly caught my eyes. His eyebrows dipped more in worry over me and he offered me a small and caressing smile. Though I could tell... he was offering sorrow and the acknowledgement of tension.
The first word was spoke after she sat down and began eating across from me at the other head of the table. And I knew it was a lie when she said it. She let out a loud sigh that drew my eyes to her, though Luke purposefully kept his eyes down. "I just want to say... that I'm very sorry Albany," she said, and her voice broke. I narrowed my eyes on instinct and saw her even glance to Luke, hopefully to get some type of recognition from him. But he didn't acknowledge what she said like he shouldn't. He was doing good so far. "You're therapist recommended that place to me and I only did what I thought was best for you. And I... I know I need to make it up to you."
It was good she was backing down with her anger. However, it only seemed that way with me. She was saying sorry as an act to me. But she was still furious at Luke - and even more so for not acknowledging her.
"When you're done talking out of your ass, you can go fuck yourself," I said calmly, glaring at her. All it did was piss her off even more I knew, though she tried showing that hurt side of her. The next moment, I put my attention back on my food and continued eating. One bite at time, one second at a time....
It was the most awkward situation I've experienced in a very long time. Worse than the times tension would filter in between Luke and I. The three of us eating at dinner, saying nothing... and it was unsettling because we knew every relationship between the three of us became corrupted in a way. Nothing was said. And it only built up and up with every quiet second passing.
I was waiting for an explosion throughout all this silence. I was waiting for either Luke to stand up and show how angry he was or for Clare to do the same. But something worse happened. And that was nothing. Nothing happened and it scared me. She was pissed off and not backing down; she never said a word to Luke while I was down there, which wasn't a good sign. We wanted her to crumble and to apologize to Luke and let her hide her anger at him. If she did that, she would have shown her loyalty. So far, that didn't happen. We just... ate in silence. It seemed to have lasted forever.
I was tempted to tackle her, scream, do something. But the results needed to come from her reactions to Luke's anger. And it appeared that as long as I was here, that wouldn't happen. That's why we planned to have me head up to bed early. It was a relieving exit for me.
"Well, that tasted like shit," I said, breaking the incredible long silence. Glancing to Luke, he gave me a sad smile and he finally said something since she was home.
"Sorry. I haven't made meatloaf in a long time," he shrugged, looking back down at his plate on purpose, to even show he wasn't much in the mood to talk to begin with. He was putting on a good show.
"It's alright. I'm going to head up to bed then," I said, standing up and grabbing the plate with me and put it in the sink. I didn't waste any time leaving the kitchen though. Jack, who was sitting under the table the whole time by my feet, followed me out of the kitchen like the happy dog he was. After letting him outside to do his business, I practically raced up the stairs with Jack, leaving Luke and Clare alone. God, this would be interesting, to see if anything different happens between them now that I am out of the room.
Closing the door behind me when I got up to my room, I sighed in a big gust of relief I was out of that tense space. Of course, Luke was still down there with her and in that haze of furry with her. So I sat on my bed with Jack, trying to listen. My ears strained to hear anything... but nothing came. I didn't hear any voices; just the sound of my own even breathing. That is, I heard nothing for the first couple minutes. Then... then came the show. Luke was the first one I heard start to scream at her.
"What the fuck were you thinking?!" I heard his voice boom through the floorboards under me and travel up to me, muffled. I raised an eyebrow at that and felt myself take a deep breath. Please back down, back down I kept thinking, over and over, for Clare. She needed to surrender to his shouting. It didn't seem like that would happen though.
"What the fuck were you thinking?!" I heard her scream back and it made my heart jump. Not just because her voice, screaming... brought back the terrible memories of what she would do to me. But rather... she sounded like herself. And when I say that, I mean she sounded like she let down her guard with Luke. This wasn't Luke's wife yelling at him. This was my mother. "She is my daughter! Not yours, mine! I refuse to sign her out of a place I believed would get her help and what do you do? You go in and bust her out! Who the fuck do you think you are!"
"I told you, told you that that place was fucked up! You said you were sorry!"
"I am! I am sorry because I didn't fucking know! But I wouldn't sign the papers to release her because I was scared," she screamed back at him but at this point, I heard her voice break open and I felt myself smile. At hearing that... I remember what Luke and Shannon said before. And that was that before they came and got me, Clare did crumble. She said she was sorry even if she wouldn't sign me out. Even though she really wasn't sorry, that wasn't the point. The point was to lie to Luke and say so, to back down. And now, when she repeated that and I heard it this time, I believed it.
Not that she was sorry, not that she regretted it. But I now believed Luke had that power over her I was afraid we lost. I knew our connection with her had weakened badly. I knew she was suspicious - and still very much is! But she is letting love get in the way. And I can only be incredibly thankful for that.
Love was a weakness. That's how I honestly looked at it. And it takes a lot to build up to be strong enough to gain such weakness, as backwards as that sounds. It blinds you, easily, and that's why I felt cautious about Luke for the longest time. And though I am willing to accept it, accept I love him, I'm not willing to say it. Because I don't want to admit my vulnerability even though it's true. Same goes to Clare. Unlike her, I knew that love is dangerous and a sacrifice of instinct. She was blind and was letting love control her, like I could only hope. She was weak for him. Just as I was. We just used hers to our advantage, no matter how wrong that is. That line has been crossed.
Smiling, I bit my lip. I felt such a sense of relief lift from my shoulders. They spoke more after that but not loud enough for me to hear. I was still worried, still anxious. At the moment though, I was just happy he pulled it off. He managed to get her to back down from her anger, hide it, conceal it away because it proved she loved him still and wanted to make things work.
It was a while until I heard my door open. Up to that point, since I could no longer hear what they were talking about, I was busy playing with Jack. Climbing all over me to reach his toy that I waved around in my hand and teased him with, I laughed as I buried it in my covers and saw him dive for it. But when I did eventually hear the door open, I glanced over to the sound from where I was laying on my back over all my covers. But before I focused on Luke, I noticed Jack's frantic movement at hearing that a visitor just entered. He raced up to peak his head out of the covers to see who it was, his tongue emerging from his mouth as he was breathing hard.
Glancing back to Luke, I offered him a proud smile and hopefully he could see how happy I was that he pulled it off and got the reaction we needed. But as I took him in just as he shut the door behind him and locked it, I could feel that cold feeling creep back over me that I was relieved just left me. Only for a brief amount of time though. Luke's eyes... held a cautious color mixed in with his green. Lips flat, eyebrows dipped and framing his panicked eyes... my smile soon left and that feeling and confusion set in.
Sitting up, I waited for him to respond to what I knew were questioning eyes. And slowly, he walked over towards me. His eyes meeting mine, they lit up slightly but it was clear he was still worried about something. Jack moving towards the end of the bed to lay down, Luke came and sat down next to me. He offered me a soft smile but I wouldn't be able to respond the same way until I know what it was that was bothering him.
Taking a deep breath, he moved closer to me to talk. After all, anything above a whisperand it can be heard outside these walls. Leaning closer towards my ear, he gently moved my hair back and curled it behind my ear before he came closer and spoke. "It went... well. But I still feel incredibly uneasy about it."
Leaning back slightly, I stared into his eyes. Pursing his lips, all I could do was sigh. I just didn't understand... I thought it went well. "Why?" I asked under my breath to him.
"Maybe it's just a feeling," he whispered as he shook his head slightly, shrugging. "I can't be sure. But... you see, I know she is still somewhat loyal. But Albany, when I looked into her eyes... it was as if she was taunting me. She broke, yes, but I can still tell there is something more there. And it bothers me. I think she is loyal and loves me... but not to the degree she could before. My trust with her is shot, and... I have this sick feeling that I just... can't explain," he said, shaking his head in frustration, his eyes resting on my bed in thought.
Sighing, I felt my body erupt in shivers. Shivers that activated my heart to beat faster. I didn't like what he said. At all. I was happy she gave in... somewhat. But I knew to trust this feeling Luke has. There was more to it.
"It's okay," I said, leaning forward more and whispering in his ear. "We have so much evidence on her so far... she might have people, might be catching on, but even if she is, I don't think she would do anything about it right away, at least something that would affect us directly. If she knows, she knows about the evidence. And if she knows of the evidence, she will realize she can't do anything spontaneous. We are okay... we still have time to figure out what else she's up to." I said in hope. But I really did believe that.
Leaning back once more to look into his eyes, I saw his expression shift. Eyes lifting to mine, they danced in them and I saw a sweet smile come to his lips. Staring into his eyes, with an encouraging smile of my own, he just... observed me. Stared into my eyes for a long moment and eventually, I saw his smile get bigger for me until he finally said something.
"You're sexy when you sound confident."
My eyes widened at his surprising words and I felt a blush come to my cheeks, to my own embarrassment. It's only been a day and I already was comfortable with the different and open way we were connecting. But that doesn't mean it doesn't still send a tremor through me that spark something within me. Damn.
"And you're hot no matter what you sound like," I whispered and smiled and though it was a bold thing to say to him, I was happy I did. He was surprised too, with eyebrows raised and a smirk coming to his face. And once again, one of the few times it happened, I saw a blush come to his face. Either way, it didn't stop him from leaning in closer towards me. But this time, it wasn't to whisper anything.
He brought his lips closer to mine and gently, he connected them together. And... ugh! So... wonderful every time he kisses me. His lips pressed against mine, I felt the deep swelling sensation reach me through the pit of my stomach. So close to me... and tasted so amazing. His lips over mine began to move slowly until I moved mine with his. Felt so nice... moving them in sync together, offering our taste, our breath. I felt his tongue start to twine with mine when our lips were parted enough and I moaned without even realizing it. His spicy fresh breath filled me and it brought goose bumps to my skin. And with that breath, I became intoxicated too with his scent of shampoo and that natural aroma that was just... him.
In the next moment, I felt his arms move behind me as he leaned forward even more. One hand wrapping around my back, holding me to him, fingers sprawled.... they claimed me. His other hand came to rest at my hip. However, he came to lean forward even more until he forced me back to rest as I was before on my back, with him over me.
Laying over me, the weight of his body... just increased the wonderful sensations that began to run over me. To feel him, his entire body, over mine was just so welcoming to me. And something I'll never get over is the plus that he is a full grown man, not some kid. I figured he would feel that with me, that I was too immature for him, for his body, for his mind but for some reason that wasn't the case. It was just an added bonus for me. I don't know how anything like a 'plus' could be possible with a guy so perfect but it was.
His hands holding me to him, my hands slowly began to run up his strong and muscular arms and around his neck. After that though, I felt his lips suck me in deeper, in more ways than one too. A moment later, I felt him break away from my lips and travel down my cheek with his lips I became obsessed over. Down... until his mouth caressed and tilted up when he reached just below my chin. He kept going, leaving me breathless until he reached my neck. Sucking on the skin there, he kissed me over and over there in a way I wont forget.
Then... I felt him slowly move up until he was sucking just below my ear. And with that, I felt him whispered something. "You say I'm hot. Do I still stink?" he asked, voice rough but covered with humor.
I chuckled just slightly as I ran my fingers through his hair, recalling one of my bullshit stories I told my therapist. About how Luke has an odor problem. "Not as much," I offered and just as he continued to move back down my neck, I felt his mouth tilted up at my words as he continued to kiss me.
"Good," I felt him mumble. A moment later, I felt him bring his lips back up and connect them to mine. We stayed like that for a while, wrapped in the sweetness and the desire for each other. It was just so... incredible. It will never get old for me. His hands wrapping in my hair as I did the same, it took a while for us to let our lips just gradually untwist for each others. And as breathless as I was, I noticed he was too, his breath hard in my face. His smile was there too over me, his fingers moving back to caress my face.
"You're so beautiful," he said in a soft raspy voice I shuddered at in excitement. Before I could even think, I told him back the truth.
"So are you. You're very pretty."
He scoffed, continuing to caress my face as he stared into my eyes and I stared back. "Should I sleep on the floor?" he asked me more seriously. "I'm fine if you aren't comfort--"
"No dude, you're staying right here," I said, moving up a bit more after I laughed and lightly kissed his lips once more. It's not like I had an issue falling asleep with him. I really liked it. I wasn't scared he would violate me or anything. I'm about 55% sure he isn't a rapist so all is good here folks.
"Awesome," he said in excitement under his breath against my lips and it made my smile grow even more. Just the type of answer I expected and loved from him.
He took my mind off of all our problems we were about to face. Clare is going to be even more tricky from here on out and I'm not sure how we are going to handle it. The issues with the gang just didn't go away either. Neither did the memories of a terrible day yesterday at a nut case zoo. But... to know I have him, that he is placed in my heart and feels the same back, I didn't feel defeated. It just gave me more power to want to fight back. Which, we discovered, would have to do earlier than expected soon enough.
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Hey guys, I stayed home from school today to write this chapter. You're lucky I managed to do it and didn't fall asleep because I was tired haha.
(the '55% sure he isn't a rapist' thing was fully a joke on her part. Just to clarify. Obviously, if she was only 55% sure, she would not welcome him near her ;))