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how i picture Raquel ---------->>>>>
-Raquel-
I sat down in my usual seat in the back of the classroom : feeling just ready to get this day over with . School isn't exactly my thing , never has been . And seeing as how i'm graduating my senior year in a week : i can't wait .
Garret sat in the empty seat to my left and Trey in the empty seat to my right with Yvonne in the front of me . We've sat the same since about freshman year . And that has always been cool with me until now . I can barely stand to be around Yvonne anymore .
Garret tapped me " yo , " he lowered his voice " what the fuck is up with you and Yvonne ?"
I shrugged " have you ever known me to keep one girl for too long ?" I cracked a smile . I knew Yvonne was listening , but that wasn't why i was smiling . I know Yvonne loves me , with how many times she has told me i should know better than she does . I wasn't sure why exactly i was smling . Maybe i'm smiling because letting her go meant that i was even admitting to myself that i want Dante / But the fact still remains , i can't have him .
Garret grinned at me like he knew what i meant , but he really didn't .
I got barely got through first bell , english , without losing my mind . I listened in on the cap sessions the rest of my friends were having but i was completely in my own zone , staring at the back of Yvonne's head . I was wondering if she'd heard me , if she believed what i said , if she was hurting .
To be honest , i care for the girl deeply . After all the times that she's let me crash at her place or just been supportive of me , i know i care for her . But it's definatly no where near love .
When the bell rang i was almost the first one out of the classroom . Gym is my second bell class . I love gym with a passion , Especially since we share it with the Juniors , a.k.a. Raven and Dante's class . I rushed through the halls , bumping past people .
Yeah , i'm really that excitd just to see Dante .
I reached the gym doors , with my gym clothes in hand . I was the first one in the locker room and the first one out . I peeped Dante as he walked in with Raven by his side , them to laughing away about something . I didn't say anything , just watched . Dante was dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans and white and black PF's on his feet with a white fitted shirt with a pink Jordan sighn on it . I was temted to reach out and grab him but i didn't . Instead i linked back up with Garret and Trey as they exited the locker room .
" yo ass keep pulling disappearing acts and shit like you fucking Casper The Friendly Ghost . " Trey said as he laughed at his own joke . " you a funny acting nigga ."
I shrugged and grinned a little bit . Trey has this thing about him that's just funny . The dude can make you laugh about nothing at all .
Garret felt the need to come to my deffence " i know you not trying to talk about him with yo' shrimp dick havin' ass . You need to keep yo' mouth closed before you get embarrased wit' yo JJ off good times looking ass ."
I crfacked up laughing as i listened to them two going back and forth . It was funny . The two of them undeniably are the dumbest niggas i've ever met . . . and i mean that in the best way possible .
-Dante-
I usually like to wait to get to the locker rooms when everone is out . It's uncomfortable enough as it is having to change in front of a room full of guys without me having to try and keep my eyes trained on the floor . Not that anyone knows i'm gay or anything but i feel like at the same time every one knows . And shit , although i don't declare that i am , it should be pretty obvious .
What boy do you know that wears almost skin tight skinny jeans that's not gay ? Don't wory , i'll wait for a answer . . . . . .
None ? Right , that's what i thought .
Somehow i had managed to make it to class right along with everyone else today and i had to change right there . I felt myself shaking , like i was about to lose my innocence . God , Fuck me !
Once i was changed , i rushed back out of the locker room anfd ran over to Raven who was standing , waiting for ne by the bleachers .
" the next time you suggest we get to class on time i'm going to murder you !" I whispered to her .
She giggled and rolled her eyes . She knew wouldn't kill her , but it didn;t hurt to try to get her to believe it .
It's something i hate about gym class . I do love the fact that we have it with the Seniors . That doesn't bother me . I can never pinpoint what , but something is always out of place to me . Either i feel like i'm being watched or it's just plain weird .
The gym teacher lined us up and divided us into 2 teams : Juniors vs. Seniors .
" basketball , is the game , ladies and gentlemen . First team to 21 get's to sit out gym class for the rest of the week . " He blew his whistle and we all joged onto the court . I took a deep breath .
Acting confident is the key , right ?
Because i can't play basketball worth a damn . and it really doesn't help any that Raquel is on the other team , staring at me with the sexy look on his face : the one he doesn't even realize he does where he licks his lips and has his eyebrows raised . This is just all wrong .
I could fake sick . But that would just backfire because then i'd have to go home and be around my father which i'm not up for at that moment . I could ask to go to the bathroom and skip but then i'd get a detention which i hate because really , who want to be at scool a extra hour . Or i could just play and hope to god i don't embarrass myself .
Those are my options , and i think it's pretty damn clear that the first to aren't even really up for grabs .
The whistle blew , the ball went up in the arm , and i thanked job when the other team got it first . I didn't care if we lost and didn't get to sit out gym for the rest of the week , at least there would be no more basketball .
I watched as Trey passed the ball to Raquel . Some how they always end up on the same team : it was no use in even trying because those 2 always win together .
I could be tripping but i swear right before he made that shot , Raquel winked at me . It could have been my dellusional ass brain but , i'm pretty sure even i couldn't imagine a sight as sexy as that . I let out a frustrated sigh . Who am i kidding ? Why in the hell would he wink at me in the middle of a damn basketball game . That just sounds stupid .
Dazed and confused , i went along witht he game , keeping my eye on the ball and not on the guy holding it . I managed to get the ball in my hands once , and i airballed it . I wasn't as embarrassed at i thought i would be . I t was more fun than anything . But as expected we lost .
Once the game was over , i made my way quickly to the locker rooms before any one else was paying attention . We still had 30 minutes of free time and i was going to use that to clean up and changed .
" you should let me teach you how to play ."
I rolled my eyes , his voice is so familiar to my ears that it doesn't even take me by surprise anymore . Infact it warms me , makes me nervos , but not scared .
" i don't want to learn to play . " I said , not turning to face him , or stripping out of my sweat drenched clothes . My nervousness that i felt while being in the locker room with the rest of my classmates , only doubled while being in the locker room with him .
I felt his arms wrap tightly around my waist for the second time in 3 days . I relaxed into his chest , even though i know he'll pull back in a moment : just like the last time .
" can i hold you like you , just for a minute ?" His breath tickled my neck causing me to arch my back just a little .
I shook my head yes and jst injoyed being in his arms . I didn't ask questions , or somplain when he let go . I just took it for what it was : him not being ready . The occasional attention he gives me is better than nothing at all .
-Raquel-
The day ended faster than i expected it to . I passed through it in a breeze , with Dante on my mind . When i left the locker room i'm pretty sure everybody noticed the love-sick look on my face but no one said anything . My feelings were damn near leaking through my pores . It was nothing i could help . Raven was even looking at me like she knew something that i didn't . I didn't know what the hell that was about .
I entered the house with Raven by my side continuously asking why i'm being so quiet . I just told her it was alot on m mind but i knew she wasn't buying it : she didn't push me those , she knew that i'd tell her when i was ready .
My mother was in the kitchen fixing a big pot of chilli for dinner . Me and Raven both took a seat at the table .
" how was school Raven ?"
Raven shrugged " fine ."
" and you , Raquel ?"
I shrugged too . Besides the fact that i'm having withdrawls from not being around Dante , and all things considered , it was a okay day .
" my day was alright . "
I must be losing it .
I'm having crazy thoughts about telling Dante how i feel .
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