I jump back in horror.
He wouldn't meet my eyes.
I walked over to where he stood and held his face with my hand and I made him look directly into my eyes.
That cold stare seemed to bore a hole through my chest. I had Dan's undivided attention, and I wasn't exactly sure that was even a good thing.
It sucks. Wanting to reach out and talk to someone right in front of you, but you're scared.
I did not know the person who was in front of me.
"Why." I say with anger in my voice.
I look at him straight in the eyes, not moving.
He looks away and says nothing.
"WHY!" I yell in his face.
I catch a tear gliding down his face and he looks down at his shoes.
He bites his lip and the tears fall down his face.
He felt bad, I could tell. Good. He should feel bad.
Dan grabbed hold of my hand and held it in his- Under normal circumstances, I would have pulled it away. But it was different this time. I understood how he felt.
"Why did you do it?! Why did you just-" I begin, but am cut off by him squeezing my hand, tears still falling.
"I can't reverse time and take it back.." His voice cracks a little, the way it does when he's anxious or troubled.
"ANSWER THE QUESTION DAN. WHY DID YOU DO IT." I raise my voice.
He winces, I have never seen him like this.
"You didn't need to protect me, Phil. I would've been fine." He says with tears in his eyes, "What did you want me to do, let you get killed?!" I yell.
Even though I was asking the questions that had to be asked eventually, I understood why he looked scared out of his mind.
"Phil, Im-" He lets go of my hand.
"No, Dan. Answer the question. WHY DID YOU LEAVE?!"
In a swift and hasty move, he grabs onto my shoulders and gets so his face is inches away from mine.
"Phil. I chose you and I am never changing my mind." He says, the tears pouring all down his face. Once one falls, another one is already halfway down his face.
I take this time to take a good look at him.
There are huge bags under his eyes, his eye color is faded, his hair is messy, skin is stained with grey, he's pale, too.
Wearing black skinny jeans; ripped. A long sleeve black hoodie that wraps around his torso.
Seeing him like that, it does things to a person; horrible things.
We both stay quiet for a long time.