LAUREN
I hiked down the corridor with my shoulders hunched and my eyebrows creased, not noticing the other students shuffling by. The dimmed light cloaked us all as hazy, evanescent shapes, so each person was nothing more than a passing figure in the dorm hall.
The way last night's date played out had buried me in masses of regret and humiliation. After my wild performance at the movie theater, I would never be hearing from Alex again.
I couldn't believe that I had ruined it. Out of all of the ways that date could have gone wrong, I hadn't prepared for the possibility that I would literally blow it. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life. Heat crept onto my face even then as I reminisced on it while shambling down the hall.
My heart had felt heavy all day. When I was in class, I wrote notes rigorously to distract myself. I had attempted to forget what happened, but it stuck like a shadow, following my every move, creeping stealthily behind me. I was devastated beyond hope and reason. My feet stumbled across the badly carpeted floor, trying their best to carry me to my room. Once there, I could wallow in self pity privately.
Turning the final blind corner to get to my dorm room, my eyes widened in shock, as I recognized the figure that stood against the wall by my dorm door. A worn out baseball hat hid most of his face.
"Alex!" I smiled brightly. My tense shoulders loosened and my pace quickened. The sight of his face by my dorm left me starstruck, and genuinely surprised. He looked up from his phone and stuck it into his pocket, pushing his hat back so the hallway light hit him directly, reflecting in his eyes. "What are you doing here?"
"I stopped by to see if you wanted to go on a bus tour of New York with me, Alyssa told me that your class got out in ten minutes, so I thought I would wait until you got back to ask," he stared blissfully, and I looked warily back, searching his diamond eyes for a hint of hesitation. Why wasn't he revolted by me? Why was he asking me on another date, after the first one went so poorly?
"Alyssa didn't let you in?" I questioned. He leaned against the wall we stood next to, his hands dug deep into his jean pockets.
"She was just leaving when I got here, going to the gym. I guess I didn't have incredible timing," he chuckled.
"Yeah, this is when she usually goes," I mumbled back, my brain searching for a logical explanation for why he had come back. And awkward silence formed around us, Alex broke is abruptly.
"So, about that bus tour? I've never been in New York long enough to really get a feel for it." My movie fiasco must have not scared him off, but why? If the roles had been reversed, I wouldn't have wanted a second date.
"Sure, let's go," I complied curiously. We strolled back out of the dorm complex, and down the New York street toward a bus tour station. He grabbed my hand to hold, and I let him, wondering why he would offer such a gesture. His interpretation of me should have been horrible. Whenever I was with him I blundered through our discussions, passively agreed to everything he said, and threw up. I thought of a way to kindle conversation. "So, you've never been in New York long enough to take a bus tour?"
"Well, I've never had someone like you to go with," he grinned cheekily. I gawked at him, letting go of his hand in confusion. Had the first date even happened? I decided to use this occasion as a fresh start. Maybe on this date I wouldn't mortify myself. We halted at the station and waited for the next bus to arrive. "But actually, this will be the longest the band has ever been in New York for a tour, we have three whole weeks until we leave." My heart rose up into my throat.
"Only, three weeks?" I squeaked out.
"This is the longest amount of time that we've even stopped at a location. We usually only stay for three to five days. But, New York has a larger population, which means we get paid more if we stay longer. Management's all about the money." Alex explained. He rested against a light post, his hands jammed into his navy blue coat pockets to keep warm.
"I see," I bit my lip, then tried to change the subject. "So, what did you want to to see on this tour bus?" I pulled the three different tour brochures out of the repository they were displayed in. "The Liberty Experience, The Entrepreneur Experience, or The Immigration Experience?"
"Well, what do you think? You're the New York expert." He allowed my opinion. I looked at all three brochures, and then put them away.
"I think The Liberty Experience sounds like a blast of freedom." I joked.
"I think I'm going to have to agree with you," he approved and paid for two tickets at the yellow machine next to the light post. The faded blue bus rolled up to pick us up, and screeched to a stand still. Alex handed the driver our tickets, before climbing up the stairs inside to get to the exposed upper deck of the bus. It was already pretty full, despite it being a cold February afternoon.
We found two seats in the very back. The bus jolted to a start as if it had fallen asleep in the cool atmosphere and began to choppily drive down the street, back past the dorms. My fingers were stiff and nub in my sweater sleeves.
"I want to talk to you about something," he spoke slowly, picking his words with care. I smiled and adjusted how I was sitting so I was facing him more.
"Really, what?" I asked. He grabbed my hands and held them in between us, our fingers gently intertwined.
He hesitated before speaking. "Yesterday at the theater-"
I sharply inhaled, preparing myself for whatever he was about to say. This wasn't a second chance, this was a second date.
"Why did you feel the need to lie and force yourself to watch something you hate? I mean, you threw up, you obviously didn't like it. Does a relationship with me really matter that much to you?"
"My roommate kind of got into my head--"
"Yeah, but you could have ignored her. You sacrificed your health. Throwing up isn't usually good for you, you know."
I thought about my answer for a moment, not wanting to awake the monster I had locked away all those years ago, on this bus. Not even wanting to think about it, because remembering resurfaced all of the horrible things I had pushed so far down. "Lightning Avenue really helped me out of a bad time. I had already fallen in love with you, and I wanted you to fall in love with me." I admitted. He nodded, beginning to understand.
"So you endured a movie you dreaded because I'm a celebrity that you're into and you wanted to appeal to my personality." He chuckled. The bus bumped up and down on the icy road.
"No! No, no. Not-"
"It's alright, Lauren." His face was close enough to mine, that I could feel his breath on my nose. The way he said my name made my heart beat louder. "I thought this was going to be an issue. Because of my career, everything's always different. But it's alright, I'm used to it. I just hope that you want to date me for me."
"Of course," I smiled warmly, squeezing his hands. A tiny gust of wind flew through as the bus slowed down to talk about a landmark. "I just hope you want to date me, period."
He let go of my hands and grabbed my chin gently so we were staring directly at each other. His sudden abruptness and touch surprised me. Underneath his hat I could see his shadowy features, his eyes glistening. "I really do. I like you, and I want to give this a chance."
"So do I," I sighed.
"Yeah," he laughed. "Maybe I should learn a little bit about you, since you know so much about me. Maybe we could even the scales."
"We could play the let's-ask-random-questions-about-each-other game?" I suggested.
"Sure! What's your last name?" He began.
"Greenwood."
"That's cool, mine's Morrison," he smiled proudly and intertwined our fingers again. I rolled my eyes. "What about your favorite animal?"
"I don't know, maybe a panda. They're pretty cool. What about you?" I decided.
"Giraffe," he responded nonchalantly. I snorted. "What?" He raised his eyebrows, slightly offended by my reaction.
"Why giraffes? They're all limbs, skinny and awkward."
"Well maybe I like skinny and awkward," he shrugged. I chuckled a bit more and he finally gave me a glare. "Well why do you like pandas? All they do is eat and sleep"
"Maybe I like eating and sleeping," I gave my best, most inferior impression. "What's your favorite hobby?"
"What?" he asked, laughing.
"Like, what do you like to do?"
He understood, and began to slowly list things off. "Sing, eat, breathe, sleep, watch TV, listen to music, be outside, watch baseball, play video games, eat-"
"Did you just say you like to breathe?"
"If you don't like breathing, life must really be a bummer," he explained lightly. I laughed and threw my head back so I could see the bright sky above us. The clouds were light and airy, not blocking the pure sun glaring down. "I mean, don't you like breathing?"
"I love breathing," I agreed.
"What are some of your hobbies?" Alex retaliated.
"Breathing, obviously, homework, homework, school, watching TV, reading, listening to music, exploring New York, school-"
"I'm guessing you don't have a lot of free time," he joked. I nodded enthusiastically.
"Amen." I paused, thinking before speaking again. My face flushed. "I sing a little bit too."
"Yeah?" He grinned. "Are you any good?"
"Maybe, I guess," I shrugged modestly, not wanting to brag. "I've written a couple of songs."
"I'm sure you're wonderful," he complimented, then changed the subject. "What's your college major?"
"Business Administration," I chuckled.
"Is it fun?" I shook my head, and he gave me a funny look. "Then why are you doing it?"
"Mostly because, I guess, I don't know what else I could do."
"Well, you like singing, why don't you sing?" He asked sincerely. I closed my eyes and laughed, twisting a piece of my hair around in the sunshine so it glowed bright yellow.
"You know, not everyone had the incredible rise to fame that you and the band had. You got to the top of the charts pretty quickly. Making music is fun, but it's a dangerous and risky profession. Business Administration is, well, safe. I guess."
"You don't like taking risks?" Alex grinned, but underneath I could sense his curiosity, which was incredibly flattering.
"I think other people, and responsibility come before the wildest dreams and fantasies that live in our heads," I explained, reminiscing on the people in my past. Alex nodded respectfully. "What about you? Did you have a dream before music?"
"I wanted to be a lawyer," Alex chuckled. "That is, I was on the path to being a lawyer. Kind of like you, I thought music was too risky. The whole YouTube channel that made us famous, it was more of a casual thing at first."
"And then you had your big break," I continued for him. He nodded. "Not a lot of people get that, which is why I don't like taking risks, I guess," I answered his question.
"Fear of failure?"
"Inevitable failure, Alex. What you have, it's one in a million."
"And it's something I try to never take for granted, but it sure can be a pain sometimes. All of the games and politics people play." He twisted the silver band on my left pointer finger. "What about this ring? You wore it on our date, and to the meet and greet. Does it have a story?"
I pulled my left hand away and stared at my finger, twisting it around so the silver dully sparkled in the snowy daylight. "It's a promise ring," I smiled, memories I hadn't thought about in a long time dusted themselves off and twinkled prominently in my mind. Thoughts like intense snowball fights outside the house, parading around the neighborhood selling lemonade in a wagon to raise money for a bicycle, making syrupy pancakes in the ugly kitchen with blue plaid wallpaper and getting flour everywhere.
"What was the promise?" Alex curiously held my hand to examine the plain, old ring. He obviously wasn't impressed by the condition it was in.
"To always be there for each other, no matter how tough life got." I sighed, pulling my hand away from him and hiding it behind my torso. He looked at me, his eyebrows furrowed with concern.
"What happened to him?" He asked softly.
"I didn't hold up my end of the promise," I sternly answered and pulled my sleeve down over my hand. "But I think it's my turn to ask you a question now."
"Ooh, ask away, let's see, what could you possibly want to know?" He boasted. I smiled smugly.
"In 2014, when you were spotted on that cruise ship in August with Emily Winston, were you dating her?" I demanded. Alex laughed a second before nodding his head.
"Yeah, we were. It lasted for five months, but then we were spotted on the ship. She got a lot of hate for it, so she broke it off because it was too much for her to handle. I feel really bad about it. Now it's my turn," he pondered and mulled over several question options before turning to me, "Hard shell tacos or soft shell tacos?"
I gave him the most serious face I could possibly muster and responded in a threatening tone, "How dare you make me choose between the two."