Playlist:
Fools- Michael Jameson (cover)
Love Will Light The Day- The Fosters (please listen to this song if you have the chance it's beautiful and I will be adding more of these songs later at the right time:) )
Ryder's POV
I practically spring off the couch at the sound of the front door opening.
"Ryder!" Shawn calls out. "Ryder what happened?!"
"Shawn, look!" I sob, rushing over to him, tightly gripping onto the white paper. "Look, look what dad did!"
Shawn frowns at me quickly setting his stuff down on the floor, taking hold of the paper in my hand. I place my hand over my mouth, to stop my crying as I watch his eyes scan the paper.
"When did he do this? When did you get this?" He questions, looking up at me appalled.
"This morning, he came and dropped it off this morning before he headed off to work." I sniff, wiping my nose with the back of my hand. "I bet dad already told Harry and..." I bite my lip and tilt my head back.
"Agh, this isn't fair." I groan up at the ceiling.
"Ryder it'll be okay." Shawn says placing his hand on my arm." I will-"
"Okay? How will this be okay Shawn?" I say looking up at him. "We can't see each other anymore without having the risk of him going to jail."
"Oh God..." I breathe. "What if dad somehow makes him go to jail too? What if-" I stop shaking my head, tears running down my cheeks.
"Why? Why would dad do this to his own child?" I cry, practically begging him for answer. "Why would he take away the person that bothers to actually care for me?"
Shawn shakes his head at me, pulling me into a tight hug as I sob loudly against his chest.
Harry's POV
"This sure is bad, Harry." Liam sighs, placing the paper down on the counter of the kitchen island. "I swear you must be married to calamity."
Yeah, no kidding.
I shake my head, pacing on the other side of the kitchen island. "I don't understand." I mutter.
"What did I do, Liam? What did I do to deserve this?" I ask. "And I don't mean just the restraining order I mean everything else that has happened in my life."
I sniff. "Maybe he was right? Maybe I know nothing of how damned I really am." I say, moving around to Liam's side of the counter.
"Maybe this is a sign?"
"No Harry, this is just a selfish act made by a father filled with his own guilt." Liam says, turning around on the bar stool to face me.
"I promised her." I mutter sadly, running my tongue over my top teeth as a tear ran down my cheek. "I promised Ryder I wouldn't leave her and now..."
I hitch in a sharp breath through my teeth while clenching my hand and suddenly swinging it back over the counter, knocking our wine glasses off the counter making them shatter loudly onto the floor, earning Liam to stand off the stool in surprise.
This is all so damn frustrating!
I shake my head, placing both of my hands over my face letting out a frustrated growl.
"This isn't fair. Why do I get a restraining order but my brother practically got paid by James to break up with Ryder? Why does he get to be roaming free while I," I say gesturing to myself. "The one who truly loves Ryder, gets banished to be by her side?"
I sniff and glance up at Liam who gazes at me with a jaw dropped expression.
"What?" I hiss, scowling at him, annoyed.
"Did you just realize what you just said?"
"Yeah," I nod, blinking at him perplexed. "I said why does Nathan get to roam free while I, the one who loves Ryder gets to..." I trail, pausing my sentence as my lips part at the realization of my own words. I look up at Liam a slow smirk pulling on my lips.
"Oh my dear God." I breath. "I love Ryder."
"Yeah, you do." Liam smiles at me. "Which means you can't give up so easily."
I shake my head and turn trying to organize my now running thoughts and worries, that were storming around in my head.
Am I really in love with Ryder? How is this possible?
"You have to go and tell her, Harry." Liam says behind me, gently urging me.
"What? No. I can't." I refuse, shaking my head, turning my body slightly around to face him once more.
"Why not?" He frowns, sitting back down on the stool at the end of the counter, resting his arm on the dark polished marble. "You just told me you loved her. You are so upset by all of this. Hell, this girl is changing you and you don't even see it. Why-"
"I do see it." I counter.
I feel it.
"But I can't." I add. "What if Ryder doesn't feel the same? What if she isn't ready to hear those words from me? What if I say them and suddenly life comes sweeping in and turns everything good into bad and-"
"Harry," Liam interrupts me. "I can't promise you, that things will be easy. Life has nerve been easy for guys like us, and it never will be; especially for you. But I know that as long as you keep on fighting, in the end, you two will be okay."
Ryder's POV
I sigh, staring up at my bedroom ceiling, dressed in my night shirt. My nose is stuffy from all of my crying and I bet my eyes are no way near better.
Why God, why would you send me someone as perfect as Harry and yet have him so distant from me?
A knock from my bedroom window startles me from my thoughts. I turn my head and see the silhouette of a person through the curtains of my window. Walking over with my heart, practically in my throat. I reach out and push one of the curtains aside and I blink seeing Harry smiling at me giving me a wave.
I shake my head, pushing the curtains away before quickly unlocking the window.
"What are you doing here?" I ask once I lifted the window up. "How did you get up here?"
"Liam is holding the ladder." He replies with a nervous laugh. I place my hands on the windowsill and look down seeing Liam, gripping tightly at the bottom of the metal ladder.
"Hi!" He calls out, giving me a wave. I giggle while waving back at him.
I shake my head, looking back over at Harry. "Are you crazy? How did you even get here?"
"Jumping the fence wasn't that hard."
"You know you could have used the door right? My brother doesn't hate you." I smile, biting on my lower lip.
"Yeah, but it wouldn't be as romantic, now would it?" He smirks, reaching over grabbing my hand.
"Harry, what are you doing here?" I ask with a small frown, my worries coming back to my attention. "Didn't my dad give you the restraining order? What if he has someone following you and then they see you here and-"
"I don't care, love. I had to see you because I have to tell you something."
I shake my head. "Harry, no this is risky for you. I-"
"I love you." He blurts out making my eyes widen and the world stops spinning.
"W-what?" I stutter.
"I know it may be too early to say, but it's how I feel and I'm not hiding it." He mutters. "Because how I mentioned a few times to you before, you have made me feel again. You have given me something worth waking up each day for."
"I'm not giving up. I am willing to risk everything, to risk of being sent to jail, to fight for you. What do you choose?"
My heart spikes at his words and I am not sure as to what to say. My mind still processing what he just said.
Is this really happening? Am I finally getting the love I deserve?
"Tell me you feel the same and I will be here, and I will fight for this, for our love." He says with a subtle nod, giving both of my hands a squeeze. "But if not, I will leave and not cause you any trouble."
No I don't want you to leave.
"You really love me?" I ask, my voice barely a whisper as tears sting in my eyes.
"I do." He nods, reaching up with his thumb to dispatch a tear that has fallen down my cheek.
"I love you, totally...tenderly... and tragically." He says, breathing and emphasizing each word, starring at me with a loving, deep, intense gaze.
Tears sting in the back of my eyes and threaten to pool as I continue to gaze at Harry's endearing expression. I purse my lips taking in a shaky breath.
"I love you too, Harry." I whisper, and for the first time in my life as I say those words, I really mean them.
He blinks at my words, looking quite surprised.
Was he expecting that I wouldn't feel the same?
Tentatively, Harry moves his hand to fully press on the side of my cheek and I stop breathing. My lips hung, slightly parted, as his eyes stay on mine. My heart is in my throat and I think he is going to kiss me and when his other hand moves to caress the other side of my face, it confirms my assumption.
Shit, Harry is going to kiss me.
Everything around me seems as if it has come to a sudden stop as Harry slowly begins to lean in, as my body waits in the anticipation. My lips slightly shake as his are only just a breath away from mine, not touching but so close that I could feel their proximity.
I don't know if we are moving too fast, or if we are just acting our age and rebelling against my father as our dose of fun, but as Harry's lips press against mine all of my doubts vanish and slowly it begins to feel like home.
The next morning I head downstairs still dressed in my pajamas, considering that it was the weekend I didn't need to go to work. As I step into the kitchen, I glance up seeing Hannah place a hot fresh pancake on a white plate adding it to the small stack.
"Morning." I say sounding happier than expected as I sit down on the bar stool.
"Hmm, you seem in a better mood." She smiles adding some pancake mix on the frying pan, making it sizzle. "Must be the late night visit."
I blink at her. "What? How did you-"
"Who did you think Harry borrowed the ladder from? He texted your brother before he got here asking if he could use it." She giggles and I shake my head while rolling my eyes at Harry's sweet yet idiotic antics.
When did he get Shawn's number?
"Speaking of Shawn where is he?" I ask, crossing my leg over my knee. "Did he go to work earlier today?"
She shakes her head.
"No, he actually went out to try and figure out a way to take the restraining order off of Harry." She says flipping the pancake around on the pan with a black spatula.
"He won't be able to do anything." I mutter, sadly.
"Not him, but his lawyers will." I nod, giving her a sad smile as I reach over grabbing a cooled off pancake from the small stack, placing it on the empty plate in front of me, trying to distract myself with eating.
"I really am sorry, hon." She mutters, placing her hand over mine. I look up at her and she is gazing at me with sympathetic eyes that make me want to cry some more, but I push my tears to the side. I have done enough of that.
"It just doesn't make sense you know?" I say looking quizzically up at her. "Like why doesn't my dad like anyone that I date? I mean yes, Evan was an ass but what about Harry?" Hannah purses her lips into a line, staying silent.
I sigh, and climb off the stool. "I'm going back to my room." I say leaving my untouched pancake behind.
Shawn's POV
"Dad, what the hell do you think you are doing?" I demand as I burst into his kitchen. My dad blinks at me from behind the counter.
"Eating breakfast..." He trials popping a piece of omelette into his mouth.
"Dad, cut the crap." I scowl. "How could you place a fucking restraining order against Harry?"
My mom gasps, standing right next to him. "James, you did what? How could you do that?"
She doesn't know? Hmmm, makes me wonder what other things he is keeping from her.
"Because I'm trying to protect my daughter."
"Protect her from what?!" I snap, glowering at him. "From love! From the love that you haven't given to her but someone else is more than willing to give!"
"Harry is not a good man for Ryder." He bites back, setting his fork down on the plate.
I scoff. "Oh,but you are a good man for my mother?"
"It is not the same thing." He says, shaking his head. "I-"
"It is the same thing!" I burst. "I told you dad, I told you to not do anything stupid and it's the first damn fucking thing that you do!"
"I am not going to defend you this time." I shake my head. "This time I am fighting back. I am calling my lawyers to have Harry's restraining order expunged."
"Shawn, you can't do that." My dad gapes at me. "Do you not care for you sister at all? Don't you know that Harry-"
"I know who he is! It's clear that you don't!" I interject, pointing angrily at him. "Do you not care for my sister at all? Evan, well Nathan as you say, beat her up and guess who came in to rescue her? Harry!"
"At her graduation, she was almost kidnapped, who rescued her? Harry!" I hiss, holding my arms out in front of me to emphasize my point.
"The night she got stranded at the train station on her birthday, the same day you didn't bother to show up to dinner by the way, who came in to help her? Harry!" I scowl. "Harry! Harry! Harry!"
"It has always been him that has been by her side, the many times that you have failed to do so. You want someone to have a restraining order than that should be placed on you." I snarl."Because you and I both know that all of the shit that has happened is because of you. Because of your mistakes of your fucked up past, and I am sick of you allowing it to ruin your daughter's life."
"So, I just came to warn you that one day if you no longer see a restraining order on Harry's name, don't act surprised."
Ryder's POV
It's been a week, a full week without out seeing Harry and it's been torture especially since we told each other we love one another. The restraining order may not allow him to be a hundred feet from me but it doesn't forbid us from calling or texting one another.
"Hey baby." He mutters through the phone.
"Hey," I say resting my elbow on the kitchen counter. "I miss you."
"I miss you more. The lads are starting to think that I am going into some depression stage." He says with a small chuckle.
"Don't worry, Shawn's lawyers will find a way to get the order off your back."
"Yeah, I know." He mutters. "In the meantime, your beautiful voice will have to be enough to fill the void inside."
I sigh, rubbing my hand against my forehead." This just isn't fair."
"Everything will be okay." He says softly, trying to reassure me.
"I just really wish I could see you."
"Me too, baby." He says and my eyes glance up when I see Hannah walking into the kitchen with her laptop.
"Hey, Harry. Hannah is here, I think she needs to talk to me. I'll call you later, okay?"
"Okay baby. I love you."
I smile. "I love you too."
I hang up the phone and look up at Hannah who came to a stand beside me, placing her laptop down on the counter.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." She blushes, biting on her lower lip.
I smile kindly at her. "It's okay. What do you need?"
"Well as you know Shawn and I are organizing for our annual charity event for the kid's cancer foundation and well..." She says opening up her laptop. "I need your advice on choosing the right venue."
"Okay." I nod, shifting my sitting position on the stool. "What theme is it?"
"We decided to switch things up a little and make do a masquerade theme." She says opening up a folder on her desktop. "We were also planning on have a little dance number, with a choreographed routine just to entertain the crowd a bit."
"Do you already have someone to come up with the dance?" I ask.
"Yeah." She nods. "I just have to find the pairs."
"Well, I can do it if you want but..." I trail, my mind flashing back to Harry.
She gives me a sad smile. "Shawn, already figured you might want to do it, considering you are into this type of thing, which is why he has already volunteered to be your partner."
"You don't want to try?" I question.
"No." She says shaking her head, widening her eyes. "No, I have two left feet. Besides, being in front of crowds scare me."
I giggle. "Okay, Hannah. I'll do it."
Harry's POV
I sigh, hanging up my phone running a hand through my hair.
"Harry, it's only been a week. It's not like she is dead." Louis mutters from the couch.
That's not even okay to say as a joke.
"At least you get to hear her voice." He continued. "At least James didn't send you to jail, can't you see the mercy in that?"
"This is torture, not mercy and let me remind you that James is the one causing this pain in the first place." I say shaking my head. "I finally have someone and I want to show her that I care, that I love her, but I can't."
"I... I just don't understand what I did wrong." I say shaking my head, tears pooling in my eyes. "What did I do to deserved this?"
I am just so tired that nothing ever works out for me. Am I really a devil walking around on Earth? Am I really damned?
"Harry, calm down. You are overreacting." Louis frowns as the doorbell rings. Liam sighs and stands up to get the door.
"Overreacting?" I repeat. "How can you say that I am overreacting"
"How would you feel if all your damn life everyone has judged you for what you have done?" I ask, my voice shaky, as tears ran down my cheeks. "That nothing will go your way because of the awful things you have done. That no matter how hard you try to change, to be better your mistakes are following you around like a damn shadow."
"How would you feel when you finally found someone, that despite of the darkness they see in you they can still manage to find light, suddenly have them ripped away from you?"
"If you were like me," I say stepping towards Louis. "Hating everything in the world but then stumble upon an angel walking in your darkness, fall in love, then be banished by her side and feel like your world is going back to being dull and grey as before...until you have been through that, then you can speak and I would listen."
Louis blinks at me with wide blue eyes, completely at a loss for words.
"Harry?" Shawn's voice calls down the hall. "Where's Harry?"
Louis stands up from the couch as Shawn steps into the room with Liam right behind him.
"He is right here," Louis grumbles. "Drunk in his own tears."
I sniff, wiping my tears off my cheeks as Shawn makes his way over.
"What do you need Shawn?" I ask clearing my throat. He sighs.
"Don't worry my sister misses you just as much." He nods. "Which is why I am here. But first, I have to ask you something."
"What?" I ask, giving him a perplexed expression.
"Are you really willing to do anything for my sister?" He questions. "Because what I'm going to have you do is risky and-"
"I don't care." I shake my head. "I'll do anything to see her."
Shawn smiles at me. "I knew you would."
Author's Note:
Hey loves! How are all of you doing? Sorry for my late update I'm just trying to finish my Through the Dark series so I can update here more regularly. I hope you enjoyed this update?
What do you think of Harry and Ryder's situation? What did you think about Shawn going off at James? What should be Harry and Ryder's ship name?! Maybe, Hyder? Please tell me your thoughts in the comments. Love you!!! Xoxo