God I was confused. I didn't wanted to stay tied here forever, and I told Red I would leave with her, but I could have a life here. I could become a doctor, there was a med school near mey house, like a 15 minute walk or something. I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to help people. I wanted to, somehow, in a way, compensate all the death I caused by bringing life. Well, I guess that maybe, if I succeded in becoming a doctor I wouldn't have to leave, assuming that Red didn't want to leave. But what if I got other job oppourtinities? What if I wanted to move or something? Well tk be honest getting other job opportunities was probably the least of my problems. I had always ran from my enemies, or more especificly my brother's enemies. I also didn't exacly wanted to face them or bring trouble to the peole of this town.
But I was sure Red wanted to leave, considering her current situation. However, if I was Luna, I could make things better for her, I could make her happy or something.
Which bring us to the mate topping. Did I wanted a mate? No. Maybe. I dont know. Did I liked Ashton? No. Maybe. I dont know. Did I imagined a future with him? You guessed it! No. Maybe. I dont know. I guess if he wasnt like he had been lately, going all possessive and shit I would like him a lot. But it's really not something we can avoid. We were supposedly choosed by the moon godness because we complete each other or some romantic crap like that. Did I belived that? Maybe. I had hope for us, I really did, I just really disliked his 'Alpha mate' personality. I was a girl with many secrets, ones that I has not able to share with everybody. I mean I was sure I shared some kind of bond with Red, like a trust bond, that was why I had tolded her a great part of my story. With Ashton, it was more... I dont know the atraction was strong bettwen one another, but there was another feeling, something I just couldnt describe. Love probably. The mate bond was clearly stronger, but still, I valued trust a lot more than attraction and I would always go for a bond made of trust than a bond made of love. I hasnt very good at loving anyway, and most my lovers ended up dead but still,who wouldnt like to have a long, loving and happy live. But was that really what I wanted?
I guess it was basically what I was here for, to live long, loving and happy life. But it wasn't what I expected. I didn't expect to find my mate! The one I am pretty much promised to! Geez there was just so much at stake! In a normal relationship, you never knew were you were going to be in two or three years, you didn't knew if you were going to be ingnoring each other or marring each other. With mates, as soon as you accept then, you know you are going to spend the rest of your life together, until death sets you apart. I'm not ready for a relationship that serious with someone I just met.
"Judge me all you want werewolf population but my opinion stays the same: I won't start a relationship with him unless I am ready and I know I can. I just have to talk to Red about it. If she wants to go. .. God that's going to be complicated. I guess, maybe, in a way, somehow I do want to stay. Now I just have to tell Red." I said talking to myself, ignoring if I looked crazy or not.
I heard the door creak and snapped my head up, becomimg suddenly allert to my surroundings.
"No need honey I already know." Said Red entering in my room with an unreadable expression in her face.
I swallowed, hard. I was not supposed to tell Red about it like this. Damm why was I crazy and talked to myself? I quickly got up and walked up to friend, who had dark bags under her eyes and a hungover look on her face, which brought a small smirk to my own.
"You look like crap." I said, feeling the stress and tiredness in my voice. She gave me a small chuckle and said looking at me, equally tired:
"Well you haven't seen yourself in the mirror today, have you?" She said before yawning. I looked at her dark bags and tired face, almost positive that I did not looked as bad.
"Didn't you sleep well?" She chuckled again and said to me raising an eyebrow
"No actually, I barely slept. Wanna know why?" She asked with an evil smirk forming on her face, making me dread the answer, but nodded her to continue either way.
"Well, you see, I remember last night, I wasn't as god damm wasted as you were, and I remember all the fun I had with Philip an-"
"Philip?" I asked confused.
"Yeah, I don't know if you remember but there were two guys here last night-"
"Yes, yes, yes I remember." I said quickly, trying to aviod the topic.
"Well me and Philip had our fun but you and Daniel... damm you guys were all through the night! I could hear you guys from outside the house! I'm honestly not sure how the neighbours didn't woke up because jesus I honestly don't know which of you was screaming louder-"
"Oh my God stop! Please stop! God, I don't even want to hear it! I just want to forget this morning and last night." I said with a disgusted face, avoiding to imagine what me and Magician guy had done the night before.
"Well congratulations you already did half those things!" Red said with a mocking smile, making me roll my eyes at her.
Suddenly silence was around us. You know that slightly terrifying silence before that dreadful conversation that you don't want to have. I decided to face it head on and started my apology.
"Hey look I was going to t-"
"April." She said cutting me off, making me even more scared.
"Yes?" I said managing not to get chocked on my own words. I really didn't want to lose Red, not at all.
"Before we talk....can you get dressed?" She said with an awkward but amused smile.
I exaled deeply, releasing a breath I hadn't realised I was holding, relieved.
"Yeah sure sure." I said walking over to my walk in closet and trowing on underwear, some skinny jeans and a band tshirt, hurring then back to the bedside were Red had sat on.
I sat next to her, taking a deep breath, before looking at her with an apologetic look, which she responded with a negative shake of her head.
"I want to stay. I wanted you to know that." The words floated through the room. The words that did not came from my mouth. I furrowed my eyebrows and slowly turned to Red with a questioning look.
"Why do you want to stay?" I asked Red, who was starting at the wall.
"I don't know." She said simply. "I really don't. But I feel like things are going to get better, not just for me. I'm not sure how but...I don't know I just feel like things are going to get better. I know it."
"So does that mean. .." I said hesitantly
"Yes." She said firmly, a smile taking over her face. "I'm going to stay."
I smiled at her, happiness floading every cell or my body. She was going to stay. I was so happy I almost could walk up to Ashton and forgive all the dumb shit he had told me - almost. I was so glad she was staying. She was basically my best friend even thought we had only met a couple days earlier. I really wanted her by my side to help me and I really thought I could help her, though it was visible that she was changing. She seemed more confident by the day and I was sure that in no time I would be the one to hold her back from remodeling Victoria's caked face. I was proud of her, I was proud of my best friend.
Over the next few days, my life was pretty normal: hanging out with my friends, getting occasionally sent to detention, mainly thanks to Cody, avoiding Ian, avoiding Victoria, avoiding Cole, and most of all, avoiding my mate. It was hard, very hard. I could feel the mate pull pushing me to run to his arms and have babies with him, but I fought it. Every time I senced or smelled him I would quickly turn arou6ng and walk the other way until he stopped chasing me. He never gave up. He would try to catch me every time he could, but I always out ran him. Fox perk.
It was complicated, the mate bond. On one hand, you hand the burning desire of being with the person, loving him and being loved back, but on the other hand, i really just wanted to get him out of my sight. I was struggling to keep it that way, but I knew that neither him or I could stand much longer.
My fox, although she denied it, also felt the pull and she was beginning to get weaker and weaker, from being away from her mate. This wouldn't be such a bad thing if it didn't weaken me too. I was having a hard time focusing on class and I couldn't sleep at night, which definitely didn't improve my grades, that were dropping like rain by the way. I needed to see him, or else my happy plan would be destroyed because I was too scared of facing the supposed love of my life.
It was Friday now thank god and I was walking home, listening to a new song that I had taken quite the liking, waiting for love by Avicii and Jonh Legend, while mindlessly humming the lyrics that I knew, which was only the course.
Monday left me broken,
Tuesday I was through with hoping,
Wednesday my empty arms were open,
Thursday waiting for love, waiting for love.
Thank the stars it's Friday
I'm burning like a fire gone wild on Saturday,
Guess I won't be coming to church on Sunday.
I'll be waiting for love, waiting for love
To come around.
Suddenly I was ripped from my little world when someone harshly grabbed my waist and pulled me into a van, speeding off just as the door closed, a scarf or something being pulled in front of my eyes. I was about to punch the living crap out of the guys when I recognised one faint familiar sent and stopped struggling in my captor's grip.
"Derek?" I asked confused. "What the hell Derek? Don't you know things called cellphones?" I asked a little annoyed at him for scaring me like that.
He didn't answered me, which resulted in my struggling a little, and him tightening his grip on me, making me wince, supressing the small cry.
"Derek stop! Get off me it's not funny!" I said trying to remain calm. He stayed still, making panic more and pointlessly struggle against him. He gave me a hard squeeze and I involuntarily let out a small cry.
'What is Derek doing?' I though confused. I could fell Derek's sent I knew he was the one holding me, I just didn't understand why he was doing this.
Realising that I couldn't escape his grip, I started trashing and screaming, yelling at my captors to let me go and announing the multiple ways I would kill then and threatening to skin then alive if this was some joke Cody pulled for filling his bag with peanuts yesterday, something he is highly allergic to.
Suddenly an ice cold hand covered roughly my mouth and pulled my head up, so my hear was near Derek's mouth, and he opened his mouth amd said in a mockingly and amused voice, an evil voice.
"You know, if you keep screaming like that I'm afraid I'm going to have to remove your vocal cords. And you want to keep them if you're going to talk to your little mate." He said taking his cold hand away from my mouth. My eyes widening in realisation when I recognised the true owner of the familiar sent.
"I-Ian?" I said, freezing completely
He chuckled, happy for my response before taking my blind off, revealing the inside of an old van as well as another person I had worked so hard to avoid this week.
"Beta." I said dryly, recomposing myself. He smirked at me, eating a hatefull glare back.
'Why are you so freaking scatted of Ian? Geez he's not that petrifying!' I scolded myself. 'Well. .. He kinda is.' I said. 'Great, I'm having a mental argue with myself now!' I thought sarcastically.
I slowly shook myself out of Ian's grip, which he allowed, and lazily dragged myself to a corner to the moving van, supporting my arms on knees and staring at nothing.
"Do you guys want to tell me what I'm doing here?" I said, covering my insecurity with and anoyied voice.
"I've told you already, princess, you're here to see you're prince." He said, sarcasm soaking his voice.
"Well why couldn't he call me or something?" I said. 'Like I would answer!' I thought to myself.
"You were avoiding him. You made it pretty clear, so when he asked us to bring you to him, we just thought it would be faster like this." Ian said indifferently.
"You thought that kidnapping me was the answer?" I asked rethorically.
"Yeah, we did." He said as the van came to a stop. "Now come on darling, time to face your fears." He said winking mischievously at me.