A/N: I haven't edited this so please forgive any typos x
Spring was creeping up on us quickly, and by April, Hemmings and I were still frequently getting it on after class in "detention." Of course, the girls were all still completely clueless to this and I intended on keeping it that way. Everything was great aside from the fact that Alex seemed to be trying to make things happen between us again. Or so I thought they were.
Something occurred to me while I was sitting in English, watching Hemmings reading something aloud to the class. My stomach turned at the thought, and I knew I had to bring this up and end it as quickly as possible if my fears were right.
"Professor Hemmings, may I speak to you?" I asked after class ended, approaching his desk. Another student was standing and waiting with a question.
"Yes. Go wait in my office, Miss Williams," he said. I carried my bag in and sat down, waiting slightly impatiently.
Within a couple minutes, he entered his office and started making tea. I'm not going to drink it, you might as well stop now.
"Are you married?" I asked. Hemmings almost dropped the cup he was trying to pour, catching it and setting it down, looking at me startled.
"What?"
"Are you?" I raised my eyebrows.
"No, I'm not. Where--"
"Do you have a girlfriend back home?" I asked, interrupting him.
"Daisy, no. Where is this coming from?" He asked.
"What are we?" I asked, not caring that it's supposedly annoying or stupid for a girl to ask that.
Hemmings sighed and handed me the tea he made and I set it on the desk without taking a sip from it.
"You know, we have sex all the time. Once a week sometimes, and yet we know nothing about each other," I said. "Do you know my favorite color?"
"No."
"Do you know my parents' names?"
"Okay, I get it," he said.
"We have no romantic relationship," I said. "Am I your girlfriend?"
"I don't know." He covered his eyes.
"Are you having sex with other students?" I asked.
"No, of course not," he said.
"Then why am I not your girlfriend?" I asked.
"I don't know," he said, standing up and beginning to pace. "Daisy, I need time to think."
I crossed my arms, staring straight ahead of me. I thought about everything going on in my life. I didn't like this. I didn't like being that student, or that girl for that matter. It didn't matter if I was having fun or being a reckless teenager and learning from my mistakes later on. I knew these were mistakes and I didn't want to pay for it later even though i knew I'd have to sometime, and I had a bad feeling it would be very soon.
"You know something?" I said finally, and Hemmings looked up at me. "Alex has been spending a lot of time with me lately." His face changed.
"And you know, he asked me on a date yesterday," I continued. "Even after all the bullshit he put me through, I almost said yes because I need more in a relationship than just sex."
I didn't give him any time to react. I got up and left without drinking any of my tea or looking at him again. He can think about it and really absorb it later when I'm gone.
I made my way to the library, then changed my mind and went to the dorms instead. When I got in the room, none of the girls were there, which I was grateful for.
My homework seemed to suck up all my focus, but my mind kept wandering back to Hemmings.
Why would he need time to think? What was he thinking about too? He was probably wondering how to break it to me that I'm just some temporary student-teacher fling he'd always had a kink for growing up. Maybe he lied to me about being married or having a girlfriend and he was just using me because he was lonely. For some reason this idea seemed logical despite everything he said to me before about supposedly caring so much for me.
My heart sank when I realized maybe this was it. What if everything I'd brought up to him just meant that he'd realize how ridiculous this relationship we had was. I mean, I'm only 18 and he's 25. I'm sure he had so many other opportunities to find someone who wasn't just going into uni after she graduates. He would probably find some other girl who was far more sophisticated than some silly little school girl who had a crush on her teacher. The thought made me feel sick to my stomach.
I held it in though, and I put on another faked enthusiastic expression for the girls when they returned. It killed me that I had to keep pretending to be happy instead of actually doing so.
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A/N: JUST BARELY MAKING IT BEFORE MIDNIGHT I KEPT MY PROMISE
I've been having a rough few days but it's okay because writing this is a nice little escape. thank you all so much for all the reads and comments. I do read them all and I appreciate it!! I love you all xx