Nik
All that was audible was her ragged breathing. She was shaking: with shock, or maybe anger. I couldn’t guess.
One thing I did know, whatever it was controlling her, her normal self wasn’t it.Because she merely glanced down and kicked Aaron off her legunceremoniously when the boy started what he thought would hurt the one who hurt his mother.
Braced back against the wall for balance,Becky never looked up again. Eyes cast on the floor but apparently not seeing anything including her son, she also was breathing heavily. But the hiatus was not to last.
Giving the staggered woman one final glance, Rina took in a deep very audible breath and carelessly wiped at her face before walking away.
I started off with a sprint after her but had to stop when Rebecca looked up. Her eyes first followed the girl stomping away then finally fell on me running past her. She probably thought I was coming for her, and it made me feel bad.
Shakily, she stood up and, totally oblivious that she still had a son crying on the floor, said rather nervously, “She … that girl must have me confused with someone else.”
‘Terrible, terrible liar’ was my thought of course but I just gave her a nod.Not being crass or anything but I was way more than just angling for this conversation to end. All I had on my mind was to follow Rina. I then noticed the very notion on Rebecca’s features, only it was multiplied by hundreds.
“But maybe you should … probably, if you have time, … check on her?”Such intent, I’d never seen this amount of desperation in anyone’s eyes before.In seconds, it got too hard for me to keep looking at her. And it was when I gave in and turned away that I saw a small boy some distance from us. And stooped on the ground beside him wasn’t someone I was too keen on locking eyes with at the moment.
But with Rina’s phone in her hand, that was just what Elizabeth did.She seemed to be working out what could’ve happened but I didn’t wait for that to finish. I broke the gaze, thankfully remembered to reassure Becky with an awkward squeeze on her arm and took off.
Curiosity gone and worry rising, my mind was now not on Rina and Becky, not even Rina and me: but solely on Rina, and her alone.
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Chloe
“Sorry. The number you are tryi…,”F*ck!
I finally accepted it was a lost causecalling her and, shoving the phone back in the bag, tried for the first time to take stock of my surroundings, and got to thinking: where the hell was I going?
142, that’s upstairs!
“Hey, where’re you off to?”
“Kate! Shit, … … I forgot to lock the door.” In fact, I didn’t even remember closing it. She gestured for the other two teachers to go ahead and my chest suddenly deflated. I can’t be stuck here right now.
“Chill, kid. It’s not like anyone’s gonna try to poison the water. I thought you were free. Even got you something to eat.” She smiled, lifting her hand up.
“No, Kate. I uhh… … just gotta be somewhere right now.” I failed on an apology and didn’t even wait for her reply before brushing past her, heading for the stairs, only to stop again when I reached it.
No, it wasn’t because I regained some sense and decided to apologize that I froze: only because I found that someone I was going upstairs for.
Marching down from the other end of the corridor, she looked … possessed. It was like her eyes weren’t guiding her on where she was going. So she didn’t cut me off on purpose: the notion not really doing the trick to force back my anger. Or worry, or the panic.
“Hey,” apparently wasn’t enough but my hand reached for hers in time just before she flounced past me.Okay, I admit I did it a little rough but it was because she was so out of this world that her whole body was awkwardly jerked around by me. And that obviously snapped her out of her earlier reverie.Even so, it took her some seconds to finally realize who she was looking up at.
Her eyes were red but she wasn’t crying, not yet: breathing hard but it was hardly nervousness behind it. Seeing that petted down the egotistic animal in mefor a second.
“What happened?” I was surprised when instead of saying anything, she just blinked and turned away, trying to get out of my grip. Of course, I didn’t let her.“Hey.”
“I wanna be alone.”
“Don’t you think it’s about time you looked my way andtried to see what you’re doing to me?”I know-after two years, another day shouldn’t seem a long wait. But at that moment, I felt somehow too desperate. So even when I tried, I couldn’t help a hint of anger in my voice.
But to surprise me, the reply came on the same tone. It was the very reply however that shocked me more. “I really don’t have time for this right now.”
“That’s sad. But do tell, when are you gonna have the f*cking time for me?!”I knew I should’ve done the one thing I felt proud that I was capable of: look through her eyes and see what was going on, and leave her be for the time being.
It’s just … I wasn’t just mad, I was panicking.And I needed to make sure what I was thinking was wrong - that she hadn’t been lost to me.
“Are you seriously not gonna leave me alone? Kimberley, let go of me!”
“Thank god, we’re back on first name basis. Listen.” She wrenched her hand out of mine. I stepped closer. “Listen! … You’re not gonna do this to me again, got it?”
“W … what did I ever do to you?” She questioned, incredulity (ridiculously) genuine in her eyes that also exuded insane proportions of disbelief.
Of course the feeling was mutualas I scoffed, “Is that even a question?”
She took in several short breaths to draw back her sobs, tears uncontrolled now. Yes, it was breaking my heart in pieces that I was the one doing that to her but I won’t let her try to slip away this time.
Especially not when she shouted again. “What did I ever …”
“You betrayed me!!” I had to cut her off. Had to. She was making out like she’d forgotten everything she’d done to me.And I couldn’t accept that. “I … all I had was you. Then you destroyed everything we had.”
“Do you even hear what you’re saying right now? You left me, Kimberley.”
“What was I to do? You were leaving no matter what I did. To think I would’ve died for you …”
“You would have…,” She stopped for a breath, which I found myself short of. “You tortured me. To a point where I began to …”
“Don’t you dare make this my fault.”My anger tightened the grip on her hand but she didn’t even look like she felt it. “I made up for it. I more than made up for it. I gave you everything. I protected you.“
“I was your fuck-toy!” That left me mouth-agape, at a total loss for words.“You think I didn’t know?”
For the first time since this conversation started, I failed to look into her eyes.
“You know that’s not true.” I said but I knew she meant it. It was what she believed in.
“You messed up my life and tried to call it quits. And I … I was stupid enough to forgive you. Stupid enough to save you from that pervert. What did I get for that?I got to be your plaything.” She paused for a breath, which I found myself suddenly short of.“Those two years with you … they couldn’t pass fast enough for me.”
“I loved you.” My breathing had become panting. But I didn’t remember to control it.“I love y… . What? I … it was me. I saved you from that guy.”I trailed off, and everything around me except her began to blur as past stormed over me.
No, it was her. It was her he raped.
It had to be her: not me.I was never the vulnerable, never the weak.
“Still won’t face it, huh?”
“Stop.”
“What, is that too hard to accept that you’re the freak and not me?”
Hands balled up into fists, there was nothing I wanted to do more than just smash her face in: that teary face gracing a cruel smile. But I didn’t ‘cause even when she was tearing me apart and seemed to be enjoying every second of it, hurting her was still something out of my reach.
“You’re lying.”
“Look,” she stepped into my face, grasped my chin so I’d look back at her. “Until you wrap your stupid head around that fact and realize what you did to me, don’t … just don’t come into my sight.”
I shut my eyes tight in an attempt to dam the tears while her footsteps echoed away for eternity till finally they disappeared: taking with them the other part of my soul.
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Nik
“The f*ck?”
I felt crestfallen. I was so prepared for ‘At last!’ and a forced hug.“Okay, sorry. Umm … carry on.”So disgruntled, I even forgot to apologize to the girls for interrupting their suck-face session, and hauled ass out of the gym.
But I didn’t really know where to go next from there. Stood by the entrance, I slumped back against the wall and absently slid down till my ass was on the floor, and to boot, even extended my legs all the way out.It all but showed what I was feeling inside: exhausted, worried. Helpless.
I had to find her. I had to before something crazy happened.
But. Where. Was. She?
Even with class rooms off the list, there was still quite a lot of places she could go hiding in.And I knew I didn’t have all day for it.
“Nik, it’s not what you think.”
“Huh?”I opened my eyes, to find Ashleystood before me. Wait, that was her in there?
F*ck, who cares?
“What’s not what I think?”I asked, taking a glance at the other chick behind her who was soft-glaring me. She certainly was a newcomer, considering the fact that she seemed jealous of me over someone like Winters.
“You ignored me first, Nik. But I’m glad that you’re mad I’m seeing someone else. Thing is …”
“Help!”
“ … I’m not really dating her. We’re just…”
“Shut up!”I cut her off, picking myself up, and strained my ears.
“Help!Someone.”
“Nik, you have to lose that atti…”
I said no more and, incidentally knocking her out of the way, took off towards where the voice came, and found seconds later that it was the indoor swimming pool: one place I purposely avoided all the time. But not right now.
Two other guys made it in there first before me and I rushed after them inside all the while wishing, whatever was going on in there, she wasn’t involved. But wish turned into wishful thinking, at what greeted my eyes.
“What happened?”
“She drowned. Hurry, she’s not breathing.”The woman answered the boys, giving way for one of them who stooped down.
The fact that I still could hear and actually process what they were saying was something of a miracle.It was so because of the sight that had my world spinning: the sight of her lying there on the pebbled edging.
“You take care of the sternum. Five to one.”It surprised them and even myself when I blurted out. I found myself already on my knees between them by her side, taking her head in my hands. “The compression, damn it!”
It woke the woman up at last and she moved down to replace the boy in pressing Rina’s chest.
“You two, go get people: doctor, the principal. Someone, now.”
One, two, three.
I kept telling myself – be calm. Be calm. If I screw up this time around, …
“Four, five.” I heard her remind me and leaned in. And missed her lips. “Hey, focus.”
I finally opened my eyes and thought about looking down. But I didn’t wanna see Danny’s face: cold, emotionless. Still.
“Three, four, five. Hey, … arghh, you come back here.”
“No!”I had to do this. I had to or I might as well kill myself. I took in several sharp breaths and, with everything in me, forced myself to look down.
But it was Rina fading away in my arms: not my lifeless sister.
Reality kicked in.
“Four, five. Now.” I’d already parted her cold lips with my fingers and this time made no mistake and sealed my mouth over hers: breathing life back into her.
Then it dawned on me: why I was panicking so much even when, deep inside, I knew it wasn’t the fear of losing Danny all over again that was driving me.
“Three, four, five. Again.”
It was the fear of losing the girl dying in my arms.
“Three, four, five.”
No response. I gulped down the sobs forming in my throat.
Please, don’t do this to me.
“Five. Now.”
You can’t. You gotta give me another chance.
A lump of missed opportunities beginning to block my airway, I turned to the woman doing the hardwork and panted halfway, “She’s … she’s not ….”
“She will. Don’t panic. Again.”
Trying to knock resolve back into my head, I gave it another go. And rose up and looked at her face.
I imagined through the closed lids her emerald green eyes gazing back at me.
And it all came perfectly clear: what she meant to me.She wasn’t my sister nor another one of my two-week flings.
No, she was more than that.
For the second time in my life and, God, just about at the worst timing imaginable, I have fallen in love again.
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