"I swear if you touch that I will kill you."
I smirk at her attempt to threaten me. She looks so cute trying to glare at me with dagger-like eyes. I circle the pizza with my eyes trained on her.
She takes a step toward me. "Uh uh uh, I'd stay put if I were you."
She groans and stomps her foot with a pout. I laugh, I have to record her one of these days. This is too adorable to commit to just memory.
"Jared I will beat you senseless."
"With those scrawny arms." I teased moving closer to the pizza. "I'll take my chances." I grin.
"Jared Anthony Warren."
I smile and pick up the pepperoni pizza. Its cheesy goodness has the sharks in my stomach acting up.
"Okay fine, please Jared." She pleads. "Please, please, please Jay Jay."
That almost catches me. All that begging mixed with pouting and eyelash batting. She gets me all the time with that but hey this is pizza we are talking about. The last warm and delicious slice. I have to stand my ground on this. "I'm not falling for that." I raise the pizza to my mouth.
She flips her hair and sighs. "How about a kiss."
I freeze. Did she just say what I think I heard her say? "A kiss?"
"Yeah, a nice big one."
I admit she threw me off guard and if she was standing closer she could have snatched the pizza and run a good distance away. I would do anything to feel her lips on mine again. I smirk as the shock has finally worn off. "Hmmm... On one condition."
She narrows her eyes at me. "What."
"I want it on the lips." There was no way she would agree to it.
Her eyes widen for a bit and she walks closer to me. Holy pizza slice. "Fine, just as long as I get my pizza."
I bite off a piece of the pizza and hold the remainder to my back.
"Jared!" She yells.
"How else do you think you're getting any of my pizza?"
"That's disgusting."
"Mmmm this is so good." I tease. Taking another bite.
She steps up to me. She moves her hands and at first, I think she has caught on and is going to reach for the pizza behind me but then she puts her hand on my shoulders and reaches for my lips.
I can't tell you how many times my heartbeat is skipping right now because I lost count at fifty. She has no idea what she does to me and at times like this, I do not mind.We stop and I roll my eyes pretending to be annoyed. "Next time I'm chewing it all up."If only she knew then.
*******With one final blow, the third punching bag splits open spewing its guts on the floor. I kick the stupid bag in all my anger. Such a weakling. Can't take a few hundred punches.I miss her. I am lost. My next move is blank. I don't know what to do. Ever since I met her I have been drawn to her. Little did she know that she had me in her palms at age ten. What if I had told her then? How much I was in love with her. Would today be any different?Would she still have gone out with that asshat Davis in the following week? Would we still have fought and would she still have left? Somehow I know a lot would have changed. For instance, there would be no Eric, no Angelica just us. All the others were unimportant. I would have been with Shane.
"She's mine." Eric's smug voice replays in my head.
She is not and she never will be his. I launch my hands at whatever is in front of. I am going to kill him. I hear smashing and thudding but I don't register what or who is causing it.
How dare he! Smash! Who did he think he was claiming her like some possession and then taking her like she was not a human being but a piece of rag or forgotten shoe. Thud! Taken from her life, from me, from her babies. More smashing.He put his hands on my kids. Smash! The picture of their faces in the bloody bathroom keeps haunting me. Bang! They did not have any serious injuries but I know who will the next time I see him.
Mark. It was all my fault. They found Eric's DNA in Mark's fingernails. Eric attacked him no doubt thinking that he was me. Thud! Screech! Bang! I should have known. I should have seen it coming. I should have known that a guy like Eric would not just let things be. Why didn't I see it all before?
Pain and heavy breathing take me down to my knees. My body feels like it is on fire. Why can't all of this just be a bad dream? Why can't I protect my brother? Why can't I have Shanaé?
"Jared? Oh my gosh baby what happened?"
Shane. My heartbeat increases. "I.. I thought I lost you."
"No, baby no I'm here now okay."
"I don't want to lose you."
"I'm here Jared. I'm here for you."
"Hold me, so I know you are real, please."
She kisses the back of my neck as she wraps her arms around my body. Instead of tingles, I feel chills. Instead of setting my body on fire with her warm touch, I am set on a course of repulsion. This is wrong. This is not my Shane. I break away from whoever it is and shoot up to my feet. I look at the junkyard in front of me and sure enough, it turns into my room. Everything is either broken, dented, torn or destroyed, and on the floor.
I look down at my hands. They were aching. I did this. Shit. My mother is going to kill me.Shane is gone. My life is over. My life is gone. I can not find her. I can not save her. How am I supposed to do this without her? How do I go on living each day knowing that he has her?
"Jared?"
I spin around so fast I could have broken my neck. Anger washes over my body and my fists clench. Was she there the whole time? "Why are you here?"
"I wanna talk."
"Then call, you're not welcome here."
"You don't answer your phone!"
"Look if you're gonna start shouting.."
"I'm sorry Jay ..please as you can see we have to talk." She begs.
I shake my head. "Not really."
"Jared are you still going to deny this... We have a baby on the way... I know we are young but babe... We are gonna be a family... Your baby needs you, Jared."
I do not want to believe any of this. I can't picture Angie being a mother. I will not even try to picture us as a family because that will never be happening. I do not want to abandon my child. I just do not want this one to be mine. Not with Angelica. Is that such a bad thing?With all that's going on in my life this situation with Angelica is just pushing it. Why does she have to keep doing this to me?
"Look, we are done, there is no family with us. You gotta understand that."
"What about our baby?"
I grimace at the word 'our'. "That's your baby..." I pause then point to myself. "I won't be giving you another cent until I have a confirmed paternity test that says it's mine."
"What.. What about us? We can make it work for the baby."
"Get out," I growl.
"We belong together Jared, I love you... Just look at this mess..... She left you, Jared. She dumped her kids and left you. You think she cared... I do and I won't do that to you, babe... She"
I grab something next to me and throw it, it hit somewhere and shattered. "Get to fuck out of my sight right now Angelica... I am not playing."
She raises her hands in surrender and backs away. "I'm sorry." She cries then runs off.
I sigh. What just happened? Oh my gosh. Did I? Sure enough the bottle I threw broke on the wall next to Angelica. I thank my subconscious for not allowing me to hit her. I am losing it.She crossed a line saying that Shane left me and I just snapped. How dare she even say such a thing like that to me. I should not have reacted like that but thinking straight is something that I am currently incapable of doing at the moment.
I close my bedroom door and lock it. My room's condition mirroring how I feel inside. Right now I deserve to be thrown in the dump for what I just did to Angelica. I am not my father and I am not a murderous animal. I just can't take anyone saying anything about Shane's abduction like that. I grab the other bottle of strong rum and sink to the floor. This is what it feels like to be broken.
***
Oh boy, Jared was on a miserable rampage. He's mad as hell and he has all reason to be doesn't he?
Angelica does not know when to quit at all... Its been seven months he's over you hoe. Coming around and trying to mess with Jared's head like that or was that part all in his head? He's losing it.
He's drinking and driving himself crazy with memories and what if's. Sigh hold on Jared, we'll find her. *cue evil laughter.* I promise.
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Jared really needs it.