Playlist:
Recovery- James Arthur
Free & Lonely- X Ambassadors
Heathens- Twenty One Pilots
Until the Levee- Joy Williams
Ryder's POV
Cautiously, I open the door and take a step inside the house. Shutting the door behind me, I glance up seeing Shawn walking out of the living room.
Oh no.
"Look Shawn." I say as he made his way over. "I know it was wrong for leaving like that but-" I stop when Shawn wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close against his chest. Immediately, I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck.
"I'm so sorry." He whispers in my ear, hugging me tightly.
"I'm sorry too." I mutter, before he pulls away, looking down at me with soft blue eyes.
"I didn't mean to be so hard on you Ryder." Shawn frowns shaking his head.
"It's okay. I know you mean well. I shouldn't have been so dramatic." I say rolling my eyes at my outburst from earlier.
"You have a right to be angry." Shawn says, giving me a small nod.
"I have a question though." I mutter.
"Shoot."
"Did dad buy me my Shelby GT or did you?"
"Oh no, dad really did buy you that."
"Oh."
"Yeah, I actually wish it was for me." He pouts.
"Well you can use it." I say gesturing my hand towards him. "It's not really my style anyways." I say scrunching up my nose.
"Really?" He asks, his eyes lighting up with excitement.
Oh boys and their cars.
"Yeah." I nod.
"Thanks. So where did you go?"
"I went to the park." I shrug, taking off my jacket before placing it on the coat rack by the door.
"I ran into Harry and he gave me a ride." I say kicking off my converse before picking them up in my hand looking up at Shawn who was grinning down at me.
"What?" I ask, blinking at his expression.
"He gave you a ride?" He smiles, letting out a small laugh.
"Ew! Not like that!" I laugh, giving him a shove.
"Oh, Shawn. Leave the poor girl alone." Hannah says coming to a stand beside him, grabbing hold of his forearm. I smile at the gesture.
"I went to the park and he just so happened to be taking his daily run there." I explain. "We were talking, that's why I didn't answer you."
Shawn looks down at me questionably. "Are you sure you're not guilty of doing the dirty? Cause now you're blushing and explaining yourself to me."
"Ugh, you're impossible." I say rolling my eyes. "Nothing happened! Harry just gave me a ride home that's all."
"Now, I'm going to go have a shower then go to bed." I say before stepping around them quickly heading up the stairs before they could embarrass me any further.
Once I finally managed to get into the bathroom I decided that a bath may be better to relax my body. After placing a bath bomb in the tub I stripped out of my clothes and climbed inside. I let out a sigh as I sat down, the water warm against my skin. I smile laying back against the side and closed my eyes listening to the music pouring out of my phone from the counter wanting to just relax for a few minutes.
Back in my bedroom, after my bath was done, I changed into a pair of grey shorts and my Addidas sweatshirt. Already brushed through the knots in my hair in the bathroom; I climb into bed grabbing my copy of Romeo and Juliet off the beside table before leaning over grabbing my glasses out of the small drawer.
I don't really wear my glasses often in public. I feel like they look kind of quirky on me but when I'm at home I really don't mind.
Opening the book to where I left off, I lean back against my pillows and begin to read.
The next morning I woke up at eight o'clock just to get an early start on the day. I still have to organize my clothes into the closet and go out to get inspiration for the pictures I have to take.
Hmm, maybe Gavin can give me some ideas?
After changing into a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, I grab my camera and bag from off my desk before heading downstairs.
"Hey, Ry." Shawn smiles at me as I step into the kitchen.
"Hey." I smile placing my bag on the counter, of the kitchen island, before reaching over grabbing an apple off the fruit bowl.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm heading out go see if I can find some inspiration for photos." I reply, taking a bite out of my apple.
"Are you working at the hospital today?" I ask, noticing that he isn't wearing his usual office suit.
"Yeah," He replies glancing down at his watch. "I better get going." He says grabbing his coffee mug off the counter.
"Call me if you need anything okay?" He mutters leaning down kissing my temple.
"Okay." I smile as he heads out of the kitchen.
Taking another bite out of my apple I pull my cell out from my back pocket and dial Gavin's phone.
Harry's POV
"Alright James, so what is going on?" I demand as soon as I stepped into his office. James looks up at me, confused.
"What do you mean?"
"My probation." I reply coolly, crossing my arms over my chest. "Did you or didn't you send in the papers?"
"I told you I did."
"Okay," I shrug. "So what's the verdict?"
James sighs, setting his pen down while leaning back into his chair. "I tried. I did my best, I used every source I had to convince them-"
"Are you kidding me!" I yell exasperated.
No, no. This can't be happening.
"Harry, I know it's frustrating believe me." James says trying to reason with me but I shake my head.
"No you don't!" I snap. "You can walk around wherever the hell you want; you don't have to ask permission like a little boy."
"Harry, it's not that, you haven't done anything wrong." He says standing up from his desk. "On the contrary, it's the fact that you are so damn good and what you do."
"What?" I blink at him confused.
"You are the best men we have who is able to go undercover and is able to blend in fully well with the criminals we are trying to capture." He explains walking around his desk. "However, because you are so good at what you do, you are an incredible asset to the bureau and they don't want to lose you."
"You already have done your fair share of work for us, so if you weren't good, your sentence would have been dropped a long time ago and you would have gone back to prison."
I gape at him. "So what? If I don't choose to work for you guys anymore I take this shackle off me and get send back to prison?"
"No, because I will do everything in my power to not let that happen." James says looking at me dead in the eyes. "You have my word."
I scoff. "You're word?" I shake my head.
I sigh. "You know what? I'll get my freedom myself." I say turning around walking to the door.
"Harry, is your freedom worth doing something stupid?" James questions.
"Stupid?" I scowl, turning back around to look at him. "You want to know what is stupid? This whole deal was stupid! I should have just stayed in fucking prison because living this way is no difference than living in a cell!"
You have no idea the hell I live everyday. You have no idea the guilt that eats me every second of the damn night.
"Harry," James hisses. "I offered this deal to you because I wanted to give you a chance at a better life. I know it doesn't seem like it now but I promise, you will be free."
"How? You just told me that the game was rigged."
"This isn't a game, Harry." James says shaking his head.
"Everything is a game."
Ryder's POV
"I have missed you!" I smile as I hugged Gavin. "Have you gotten taller?"
Gavin laughs pulling away from me. "Maybe." He smiles before we both take a seat at a small round metal table outside a local restaurant.
"You look nice. Let me see your hat." I smile. He reaches up taking it off before placing it on my head.
"How does it look?" I ask, fixing the hat a bit, before turning my head from side to side.
"Perfect." He says letting out a small laugh.
"So what did you need love?" He asks, folding his hands on the table.
"I was wondering if you could help me out. I have to take these pictures for an internship and-"
"An internship? Where?"
"Where Hannah works." I answer vaguely, biting on my lower lip, hiding my smile; my fingers playing with the lens cap of my camera.
"For Vogue?" Gavin gapes, his eyes sparkling with delight. "Congrats, babe!"
I giggle. "Thanks but it's still not a done deal yet."
"So?" He shrugs. "You're practically in already!"
"Anyways, I was wondering if you have some advice on how I can get inspiration for these photos."
"Well, I first started out by taking pictures of my surroundings before taking pictures of people just so I could get familiar with different lightings." He explains. "There really isn't a right or wrong way to take a picture. A photographer is an artist and artists are never the same."
"Yeah, I guess you're right." I smile.
"So I also wanted to tell you something, now that I have you here."Gavin trails.
"What is it?" I ask tilting my head to the side.
"I have a gallery show this weekend and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me?"
A grin spreads across my face at his words. "A gallery show? That is great news! But what about your job at the local newspaper?"
"It's just a part time job." He shrugs. "Just to get some income flowing in but this is what I really want most."
"I'm so happy for you. Of course, I'll go."
"Really?" I nod.
"Okay." Gavin mutters, a faint smile on his lips, reaching over grabbing my camera before capping the lid off the lens.
"What are you doing?"
"We need to take a decent photo of you in this hat and put it on your instagram." He smiles before bringing the camera up to his face.
"Since when am I a model?" I ask playfully, reaching over placing my hand over the lens.
"You have always been in my eyes." He mutters with a shrug, pulling away so my hand drops from the lens before bringing the camera up to his face again.
"Now smile pretty." He says turning the lens a bit with his other hand to adjust the focus. I shake my head at my silly friend and do as told.
Jame's POV
"What's the matter love?" My fiancee asks, stepping into the kitchen. I was sitting on a bar stool going through Harry's files with each of his different aliases.
"Am I doing my job wrong?" I ask, glancing up at her.
"Why do you ask that?" She frowns walking over to me, placing her hand on my shoulder.
"Because, Harry has done so much. He has helped us catch so many people and yet he still can't manage to gain his freedom."
"Do you think he deserves it?"
"He's just a kid, love. He's 24 years old and he has already lived through a hell of a life." I say resting my chin in my palm, flipping through a few pages in his file.
"I was the one he turned himself into and I gave Harry this deal so he can live a better life." I pause, briefly recalling the memory. "I didn't want him to be locked in a cell for the rest of his life but what if he is right? What if wearing a tracking anklet is no different?"
"Well he is a criminal, he has to pay for his errors somehow." She says looking at me with sympathetic brown eyes.
"I know." I frown. "But he didn't know better. I mean would you if your father was a criminal?"
"You want to know what I think?" She says, giving me a small smile, running her hand through my hair. "I think you will figure out what the right thing to do is, and if it's to let Harry have his freedom then you will find a way to give it to him."
I sigh."He deserves it. He's a good kid, he's just..." I pause. "He always has this guilt on his shoulders about what happened with..." I stop.
"He deserves a new start."
Harry's POV
"Hey mate!" I hear Niall's voice exclaim. I glance up from my book seeing him walk through my door, slamming it behind him.
"Is inviting yourself into my home a new habit of yours?" I ask, as he made his way over. "Do I need to change my locks?"
"Awe man, you know you love me." He says playfully, sitting down at the end of the couch making me fold my outstretched legs. "So what's new?"
"Nothing." I mutter shaking my head before starting to read where I left off.
"Funny, I thought the life of a con man would be more exciting." Niall comments, feeling him lean back into the couch.
"I am not what I am." I reply as a statement, placing my bookmark on the page where I left off, closing it as I stood up from the couch.
"Othello, really? Ugh, don't go all Shakespeare on me." Niall grumbles in disgust as I toss my book down on the coffee table.
"Is there a particular reason as to why you are here? Or did you just come to tease me about what I read?" I question as I gesture to my copy of Romeo and Juliet on the wooden table before grabbing my water bottle, unscrewing the plastic cap, taking a drink.
"No, even though I should." He chuckles, sending my a wry smile. "I came to ask you if you are any closer to finding the son of a bitch." He says, looking up at me, crossing his leg over his knee.
"No," I sigh placing my water back down on the table. "He has been the one doing all of the murders lately but we have no idea where he is. His killings aren't leaving a specific trail like others do that would gives us an idea of where he is striking next."
"Really?"
"Yeah." I nod. "Come, follow me. I want to show you something." I say waving him over heading over to the stairs.
Walking down the hall, I head over to the last door on the left that lead into my study. Opening the door, I flipped on the light switch on the wall while stepping inside.
"Look, this is what I have been doing so far." I say gesturing to the bulletin board that hung on the wall above my desk. It had a map of the London and Manchester area with sticky notes and pegs marking the area where there has been a murder.
"Damn..." Niall says shaking his head.
"Yeah. James doesn't want me to be the one investigating this to the deep extent but how can I not?Look, here are all the files." I say gesturing to the two piles and a few that sat open on the desk mat.
"See? he isn't leaving a trail. They are all scattered about." I say pointing to the map. "The only thing that seems similar are his murders because he is mostly killing women and their children. Occasionally, the father of the family as well."
"Wow, he really is crazy." Niall says flipping through the files, that held pictures of the murder scenes. "I mean we have done some bad shit but not like this."
"Crazy is an understatement." I mutter, ignoring his comment about our past because it's something I do not want to dwell on.
"So why do you think he is doing this?" He asks, looking up at me, closing the file.
"I have no idea." I say shaking my head. "But whatever it is we better figure it out soon before more lives are lost."
"Well before he kills the women does he...you know?"
"Rape them? No. That would make all of this even worse and make him even more of a repulsing man." I answer truthfully.
"Hey if you do get your anklet off before you guys catch him, will you stop trying to find him?" He asks, crossing his arms over his chest.
"No, of course not. I've wasted so much time on this I will not let it all go to vain. I will not stop until I find him." I say with as much sincerity as I can.
"Besides, I don't think my anklet is coming off anytime soon." I say heading over to the door.
"Why not?" Niall asks, following me down the hall.
"Because apparently I'm an asset to the bureau now. I'm not just working off my sentence."
"Wait." Niall says, grabbing onto my upper arm to turn me around to face him. "So they lied to you?" He says starring at me with wide blue eyes.
"In a way." I admit. "This isn't James doing if that's what you are thinking."
"How can I not think that?" He asks. "He is the one that gave you the damn deal in the first place!"
"Yes, but he isn't fully in charge of what happens." I scowl.
"Harry, how can you defend him? You were so frustrated before."
"I'm not saying that I'm not." I counter. "All I'm saying that even though I sometimes have my doubts, I know James is just looking out for me."
"This is bullshit Harry!" Niall complains, throwing his hands in the air. "Forget that damn deal. Let's just leave, you can always come back later."
"No! You can come back I can't!" I snarl. "I run on this thing and London will just be a memory for me."
"So what?! Let's flee the country, you've always say that you haven't seen Paris in forever."
"You don't get it Niall!" I scowl. "I don't want to hide anymore. I don't want to change my name anymore. I just want to be me!"
"And even if I go, they will find me." I add.
"Then let's just cut your anklet off and go, we've done it before." He shrugs.
I shake my head. "I'm tiring of running, Niall." I say, pleading for him to understand. "I don't want to be a criminal anymore. I want to control my own life, live it fully without having to look over my shoulder to see if I get a bullet shot through my head."
"I just want to be done." I add.
Niall sighs, looking at me with a sad sympathetic expression. "Harry, guys like us, we either end up killed or in prison."
"No. There is always another way." I say, disagreeing with him holding onto the last bit of hope I have.
"Harry, we don't get to have happily every after."
"Yes we do and I'll prove it to you." I say before turning around stalking down the hallway leaving him behind.
He doesn't understand, none of the lads do. I had my happily ever after but then it was taken away. I will prove to them that our lives can be different, that my life can be different, that it can't be full and satisfying.
Author's Note
Hey loves! How are you guys doing?
Here is another update for you guys which I hope you enjoyed. Please let me know in the comments below. Thank you so much for your comments on my last post but if you all have more to say about my writing or my story on what you would like me to change please let me know.
Also, I have officially entered this story into the Wattys 2016 :) so hopefully it all goes well.
I love you all soooo much. Xoxox